Girls with fellas who do kendo

[Lone Kitten]

Just an observation here, but lots of the ladies who do kendo that i know have boyfs that also do kendo.

do any of u have fellas who aren't kendoka? Just interested is all.

[Nochi-no-tsuki]

i am with a guy that does not do kendo. i know he thinks it's a wierd hobby, but he tries to be supportive. he comes to tournaments with me (on his request :eek: ) one thing that causes problems with him not being a kendo guy is when i want to go to practice instead of spending time with him. another thing is when he sees bruises on me and he's like "why do you like getting beat up?!" LOL, it's hard for him to understand why i like kendo.

[bullet08]

always told that one shouldn't date someone in same club/dojo/gang.. if they break up, one will have to leave or it will create conflict within the club/dojo/gang..

already married, and my wife doesn't care for kendo :)

pete

[tango]

i'm already married, too, and i hope my wife never entertains thoughts of doing kendo... because i know how she is...

even for folks dating who don't break up, there could be tension in the dojo.. next thing you know, the class brute beats up your girl in jigeiko -- and he's your best kendo buddy -- so ... well, you see where that all might lead...

of course... it all depends on the girl.

(sorry to hijack the thread!)

[h2o]

next thing you know, the class brute beats up your girl in jigeiko -- and he's your best kendo buddy -- so ... well, you see where that all might lead... A bit stereotypical? I'd say that if you do kendo, you should be aware that you are in for some rough treatment. And if someone in the dojo is hitting to hard, then it's time to speak with them. I got beaten up quite often during ji-geiko but I don't think my fiance held any grudges to the man in question, and neither did I.

Seems like the thread is going off topic since this was supposed to be a thread about girls doing kendo who don't have a kendo-boyfriend. In our dojo 50% of the girls have no-kendo-boyfriends. Of the other 50% at least one was dragging her boyfriend along and not the other way around.

[Alison2805]

easy solution - date someone from another dojo ;)

Ive just started dating someone who is not a kendoka, he is happy about it, and wants to come and watch. He doesnt have a problem with me being bruised or spending lots of time training :) If he did he'd be kicked to the curb!

[ace]

hey i havent heard anything about this ali when where you going tells us and you better bring him past the dojo so we can suss him out (hehe)

[Alison2805]

hence why I havent brought him yet... hey this is a very recent development in the World Of Ali... my own family dont know yet!!

Doesnt that make you all feel special? ;]

[ace]

yeah i suppose but still you will havta bring for some freindly jigieko or something.anyway catch ya at training next week.

[Paburo]

do any of u have fellas who aren't kendoka? Just interested is all.
oh you evil kitty... you too want them to carry your (bogu) bags..?

[bobdonny]

Hmmmmmm

My wife just started a few weeks ago.
Years of pent up fustration making contact with my men without remorse :(

But in a few months i get to hit back :)

I think it will be a good way to decide where we spend Xmas ;)

[stephanie dee]

Man, I wish that I had a fella who did Kendo, not from my club, but from a different one.

What I tend to find is that when I go on dates or just chatting to blokes in general and they ask me what my hobbies are, and I reply with Martial Arts, they either:

1. Take a step back and try to run away
2. Start making ninja noises and say "so how long have you been doing Karate?"
3. Think that i'm like rock hard, domanieering type lass and start getting all pervy.

*Sigh*. I want a fella that does Martial Arts too, any type! I used to love explaining what Kendo and Iaido was, now it just gets tedious.... A guy that couldn't handle me doing Martial Arts wouldn't even survive the first date with me!

[Rob1981]

heheh I'm single steph!

[Nochi-no-tsuki]

heheh I'm single steph!

i knew this thread would turn into a hookup fest.

[Newbie]

I used to be with a guy who didn't want me to start kendo in the first place 'cos I was doing so much already' (roleplaying once a fortnight and tai chi once a week is apparently spending no time at home, even though when I was at home he'd just work in his office).

There are at least two couples I can think of at my dojos. Once is our sensei and his wife (and one year old who is often there but gets grumpy cos he can't go join in suburi though is having fun with his first shinai) and another couple who both recently got their shodans together at the same time. Neither couple give any quarter during jigeiko. Neither get shirty with each other from anything that happens out on the floor. The shodan couple also do/teach karate together.

However, to play devil's advocate to my own argument, I know some couples where one or both have full on hobbies that are differing really work because both people get their space and time to run off and do their own thing. I think if you're reasonable people and don't need to be in each others' faces 24/7 and support and respect the respective hobby then there's no reason it should be a problem.

My housemate, though just a friend, is interested in and supports my kendo/jodo/iaido even though she would never take it up in a pink fit. Just not her thing. But having that support and someone I can blabber on about waza and kihon and tanteku who at least pretends to semi-understands (and actually asks for an explanation when she doesn't) makes a huge difference. Oh, and her willingness to pick me up late on a Friday night after training is also great!

[ChaShu]

Neither get shirty with each other...

"Shirty"? What does "shirty" mean? :puzzled:

[runsyi]

oh you evil kitty... you too want them to carry your (bogu) bags..?

Don't forget shinai bukuro, iaito bukuro, spare change of clothes...

[Paikea]

Don't forget shinai bukuro, iaito bukuro, spare change of clothes......and he's supposed to be grateful for the opportunity, right?

[runsyi]

...and he's supposed to be grateful for the opportunity, right?

That's the way it usually works. :wink:

[Paikea]

That's the way it usually works. :wink:See? I learned stuff, once.

[Airin]

When I started kendo 10 months ago, my husband wasn't supportive at all: he complained a lot I had to do something more usual as swimming or running, etc.
Now he has got used and he has finally given me money to buy my own bogu, although he sometimes still laugh a bit, thinking he has a such strange wife.

[ScottUK]

My house is full of swords, blunt instruments, pointy sticks etc and the missus used to complain about them.

"Do you really need ALL of those...?"

I pointed out her collection of shoes and how many of them are unnecessary. She does not bother me anymore.

Still can't talk her into practicing with me though.

[Paburo]

Don't forget shinai bukuro, iaito bukuro, spare change of clothes...

sure sure baby <3. now climb over my shoulders like a monkey. since you're so tired from keiko i'll carry you home as well..... pffft.

now really... i kicked the trolley bag of the last kendo girl who asked me to carry her bogu, lol... are you kidding me mate? kendo groupies should not expect me to carry their bags... that's not on the contract! :D

[Newbie]

"? What does "shirty" mean?

I'm really bad at explaining things but like "annoyed, irritated, short tempered" that kind of thing. Like that great Australian icon, Shirty, The Slightly Aggressive Bear.

[Metsuke]

I wouldn't mind meeting a girl who studies kendo, as a student of Iai it would be fun to share knowledge and forms. I'm not much for the competitive nature of kendo, but share a devotion to a Budo.

"If you hold a sword with both hands, it is difficult to wield it freely to left and right, so my method is to carry the sword in one hand." Musashi Miyamoto

[Lone Kitten]

oh you evil kitty... you too want them to carry your (bogu) bags..?

DAMN right! My fella and I have an arrangement - he carries the heavy smelly bogu, i carry the nice, light, stench - free shinai!

See, i get what youre saying about people splitting up and that ruining the atmosphere at the dojo, but me and my fella can't have an argument. We just beat each other up at practice instead! We were fencing a few weeks ago and getting kinda physical, (strong tai-atari and stuff) because we were gettin really into our fence. My sempai took me to one side at the end and asked if everything was ok with us and if we were getting along at the moment. when i said yes his response was "well i'd hate to see you when you're not!" Usually I struggle to fence my fella for two reasons a) i've fenced him so often that we both know each other's kendo so well that we just reach an impasse and b) i don't wanna hurt the poor sweet dear!

[Lone Kitten]

My house is full of swords, blunt instruments, pointy sticks etc and the missus used to complain about them.

"Do you really need ALL of those...?"

I pointed out her collection of shoes and how many of them are unnecessary. She does not bother me anymore.

Still can't talk her into practicing with me though.

nothing wrong with having a large collection of shoes - when it comes to competitions a girl must have a pair of flip flops to match her dou! And when it comes to getting changed after practice, a girl must have a pair of shoes to match her outfit... when will you boys learn?

[Ignatz]

That's the way it usually works. :wink:
See? I learned stuff, once.

This is what I learned:
This is my castle and I'm The King!!

If that's ok with you honey.

[tchan]

DAMN right! My fella and I have an arrangement - he carries the heavy smelly bogu, i carry the nice, light, stench - free shinai!


hahah you're supposed to be a warrior not a princess!!


*added*
well i guess u can be both...

[Lone Kitten]

hahah you're supposed to be a warrior not a princess!!


*added*
well i guess u can be both...
yeh, like xena warrior princess!
thing is, i'm more princess than warrior!

[Alison2805]

When I started kendo 10 months ago, my husband wasn't supportive at all: he complained a lot I had to do something more usual as swimming or running, etc.
Now he has got used and he has finally given me money to buy my own bogu, although he sometimes still laugh a bit, thinking he has a such strange wife.

He complained? Not supportive? Finally "given you money" for your bogu???

Yikes....

[Lloromannic]

yeh, like xena warrior princess!
thing is, i'm more princess than warrior!

You know Xena was into girls, right?

[Twobitmage]

I notice that alot of mothers have kids who practice kendo, then got into it themselves.

there's an older lady where I practice (shodan) with 2 sons (age 25-ish) who are both yondan and they kick everyone's butts

and there's a younger lady with little kids who I foresee will become yondan and kick everyone's butts.

[TheChessQueen]

Couple of things...

Xena was in to both guys and girls... though the only girl she was into was that gabrielle girl and that may just be due to the lack of choices.

Anyway. Dating in the dojo. See I am lucky, I think asian guys are hott and asians tend to do kendo.... hehe. Unfortunately dating in your own dojo can lead to issues. Therefore I reiterate the statements made earlier... Date guys from other dojos. This is also good dojo to dojo communication for joint practices... And if all goes sour... Oh well at least he doesn't have to show up for jigeko and get pounded by a girl :)

[Lloromannic]

Couple of things...

Xena was in to both guys and girls... though the only girl she was into was that gabrielle girl and that may just be due to the lack of choices.


Not to make this a Xena thread, but I thik that Xena had ample opportunities to bang men throughout her journeys (and indeed she did sometimes), but that in a minute she would change any guy for Gabrielle.

[runsyi]

I notice that alot of mothers have kids who practice kendo, then got into it themselves.

there's an older lady where I practice (shodan) with 2 sons (age 25-ish) who are both yondan and they kick everyone's butts

and there's a younger lady with little kids who I foresee will become yondan and kick everyone's butts.

Actually, the older brother is godan now. And the boy you're talking about can pretty much kick butt now. S-sensei had him doing shiai keiko with me, his mom, S-sensei and a couple other girls and he pretty much ruled. His kaeshi do is really good.

ChessQueen, I hear ya there about not dating guys in your dojo. The way I usually put it is "you don't shit where you eat."

[Shazzanzzz]

so, i guess girls usually don't like to date someone inside their group? i mean, don't like to shit where they eat? because i would probably say most guys don't mind it.

[Kitsune]

Ok... I'm with a judoka for about 4 years now, so he's fine that I'm doing kendo, he probably wishes that I have no bruises at all, but it's what I like and he's supportive, so I'm perfectly fine and he's fine too (he's a judoka)

We have in our dojo a couple... Is our sempai and the oldest female kenshi... They're almost 3 years together so I think it works fine. Hope they never brake up cos that would mean that she would never be in the dojo again and I will be the only girl.:silly:

[runsyi]

so, i guess girls usually don't like to date someone inside their group? i mean, don't like to shit where they eat? because i would probably say most guys don't mind it.

Can't speak for all girls but it certainly is less messier.

[ChaShu]

I'm really bad at explaining things but like "annoyed, irritated, short tempered" that kind of thing. Like that great Australian icon, Shirty, The Slightly Aggressive Bear.

Ah... cranky... Thanks!

[Kitsune]

Can't speak for all girls but it certainly is less messier.


It is less mesier... I never did that of dating someone of my class or my groups... Acctualy the closest one is my boyfriend who's a journalist form my college but he's older and from another generation.

[Lone Kitten]

my fella was pretty much in my group, but the thing is we said from the beginning that if we thought it would go bad we'd stop it.

btw, i meant Xena as in the kick ass moves, not the other thing, dur!

[TheChessQueen]

so, i guess girls usually don't like to date someone inside their group? i mean, don't like to shit where they eat? because i would probably say most guys don't mind it.

They probably won't mind at first while they are actually dating. But remember that the break up can be ugly and also some guys have issues with girls doing some sports or physical activities better than them. Those issues could be made apparent if a guy's girlfriend is kicking his sorry butt during kendo practice


As for Xena: Yeah so I may be a little old to still think she is awesome but she is... And since she swings both ways it seems she gets the best of both worlds... But she could seriously kick some butt though most of her moves are very fake and would probably never work ina real situation and her fencing skills are laughable...

[Lone Kitten]

As for Xena: Yeah so I may be a little old to still think she is awesome but she is... And since she swings both ways it seems she gets the best of both worlds... But she could seriously kick some butt though most of her moves are very fake and would probably never work ina real situation and her fencing skills are laughable...

lol, she did kick booty, and the guy who played aries was hot!

[rfachini]

lol, she did kick booty, and the guy who played aries was hot!

That was Kevin Smith. He had a wife and 3 sons, and died from a fall on a set after filming a movie in China in 2002.

He was a good actor, and I liked the Xena series quite a bit. Some of the actors actually did their own singing for the "musical" episdoes. The music on it's own was pretty good, too.

[Nakura]

Hmm...never been in that situation (the girls in my dojo have always been either WAY too young or too old enough to be my mum and usually married) and never actually seen a kendo couple...although two of the best jodo sensei are married and both teach in the same dojo; they seem to get on fine. Although, having said that, I heard about an iai couple who broke up (for unknown reasons) and one of them couldn't deal with being in the same dojo as her ex...she moved all the way to Japan to get away from him. But he's not that bad...:laugh: just got to keep telling myself that :p

Just for the record, I'm in a long-distance relationship but it's great because it means I can go to all the seminars and taikais i want so long as they don't coincide with her visits. :D But I do tend to bore and confuse her when I go off about things like koryu, seitei, jigeiko, kakarigeiko...

[TheChessQueen]

I am fairly cerain Lucy Lawless (Xena) did her own singing. She sings in other episodes as well. Like the one where her son dies. And the one when Marcus (her ex-lover) dies.

[Kitsune]

That was Kevin Smith. He had a wife and 3 sons, and died from a fall on a set after filming a movie in China in 2002.

He was a good actor, and I liked the Xena series quite a bit. Some of the actors actually did their own singing for the "musical" episdoes. The music on it's own was pretty good, too.

His name was Kevin Smith??? Like the Kevin Smith from Jay and Silent Bob? God you make me thought he was dead for a moment...

[LarsCW]

My gf will never start practising kendo for sure and when she heard about how much my new Mine bogu was costing she was heavily annoyed and started showing me links of websites of handbags she liked with price tags of $500-$990, and then daring to complain about my bogu which has a perfect use of protecting her love.

It's that she's so increadibly cute and adorable that she could get away with buying that kinda stuff thou but then that would give me reason to get that new mandake shinai I would have seen too:P but I haven't told her about that yet.

She's into tai chi and she I was explaining her 6 year old son some about kendo he got out his little plastic sword and next thing I heard he was wacking his mom on her head so I see a future there for this guy even thou she wasn't all that pleased. I already told her I wanted to give him a shinai but she told me not to do that until we're living together and I can show him stuff. I'm so going to bring him to the dojo then so he could learn it for real.

I might take some tai chi lessons too so I can join the exersizes with her in the morning which would be a nice thing.

[rfachini]

Yes Lucy Lawless and Kevin Smith sing their own parts (and are quite good). Gabrielle and Callisto are dubbed. In '97 Lucy had a famous wardrobe malfunction while singing the national anthem.

Kevin Smith is a common name, of course. It's not the same person as from Jay and Silent Bob. IMBD lists 33 "Kevin Smith"s.

My wife practices karate with me, and I've known several kendo couples. It's all up to you and the other person. If you have a history of messy breakups, and the thought of being in the same room as one of your exes makes you upset, then maybe you shouldn't date in the dojo. If you're both rational people and you could still practice with each other even if it doesn't work out, then getting to know each other outside the dojo might be alright.

About Tai Chi, since you are practicing moving as relaxed and as smoothly as possible, that concept may help your kendo. I practice martial arts seven days a week, and Tai Chi is good for an occaisional light practice day. This may sound strange, but Tai Chi has slow movement with weight shifting and bent knees, and it built up some muscle strength around my knees that karate wasn't working.

[Myy]

Hi,

In my dojo, and in our Federation for that matter, there are many many kendo couples.
All the girls in kendo have kendo boy friends and the rest are single. I can't think of anyone dating a non kendo boy (or a girl).

It seems to work out the best. Even the breakups haven't been such a problem so far. It can get messy but not impossible and I would never decide not to date someone wonderfull just because it could get messy later on. And I have been there...
Then you just deal with it.

With kendo boys it's more difficult 'cos each dojo is short off supplying enough girls to all of the kendo boys. So some people just have to date somewhere else. Outside girl friends tend to cause much trouble though and we've even seen guys drop out of the national team training sessions 'cos they got to be home 'cos the wife told so. Silly!
The gilr friends are all nice and pretend supportive and interested as long as they are girl friends. Once the poor guys marry them the rules get tougher.

Of course there are the happy exeptions of couples who are able to manage their family, career and separate hobbies all nicely and with no big fuss.
Big big rei to those non-kendo-waifus.

So, if I am all for kendo dating!

One not so sober night out with my fellow ladies from kendo, we came up with, what we thought, a brilliant side product for Kendo World on line magazine: Kendo dating service. One could create a profile match it against other single kendokas around the globe and set up dates on international kendo events. This way the kendo mating could me maximized and the little time on a weekend kendo camp could me optized.

Anyway, currently in the happiest ever relationship with the sweetest kendo man in my club and on this globe and never mind the consecuenses!

Myy

[Alison2805]

"this one time, at kendo camp..."

[ScottUK]

With kendo boys it's more difficult 'cos each dojo is short off supplying enough girls to all of the kendo boys. So some people just have to date somewhere else.Since when is the dojo a harem? I thought is was 'the place of the way'?

You know, its nice to have things in common with your partner, but it ain't the end of the world to be different. My wife has nothing to do with martial arts (and probably never will) but she is very supportive of me and my practice (and my ever growing sword collection) - my advice to you is stop chasing other kendoka and GET OUT MORE... the kendojo is for self-development and slaughtering your friends in the shiaijo - not fluttering eyelashes and pelvic thrusts... :)

Grrr - my 2,000th post was wasted on this...

[Myy]

Since when is the dojo a harem? I thought is was 'the place of the way'?

Yes, yes and yes. And the life is big dojo too.

You know, its nice to have things in common with your partner, but it ain't the end of the world to be different. My wife has nothing to do with martial arts (and probably never will) but she is very supportive of me and my practice (and my ever growing sword collection) - my advice to you is stop chasing other kendoka and GET OUT MORE... the kendojo is for self-development and slaughtering your friends in the shiaijo - not fluttering eyelashes and pelvic thrusts... :)

Well, if thats how the girls you know act. Sorry about that. And like said,congrats to the non-kendo waifus who can take it. I know many of them too.

It has been tried, dating outside kendo. No good. Only men in hakama look good and the rest are such a scary breed of creatures that kendo woman is too much for them to handle. Or so it seems.

Grrr - my 2,000th post was wasted on this...

Terribly sorry for than and GRR back to you too.

Have a good one.

Myy
"Sour! said the fox about the berries up in the tree"
- A Finnish proverb

[ReKru]

With kendo boys it's more difficult 'cos each dojo is short off supplying enough girls to all of the kendo boys. So some people just have to date somewhere else. Outside girl friends tend to cause much trouble though and we've even seen guys drop out of the national team training sessions 'cos they got to be home 'cos the wife told so. Silly!
The gilr friends are all nice and pretend supportive and interested as long as they are girl friends. Once the poor guys marry them the rules get tougher.


Well, you can always make that devoted kendoka who happens to still be single (because he practices so often) the trainer of your beginner's course (as long as they're all adult beginners of course! :P ).
Usually lots of girls there with deep interest in Kendo and being the trainer, 'alpha wolf' etc. amongst bloody beginners somehow enhances one's attractiveness. :D
Even if the girls find that kendo isn't for them, they usually understand the commitment and obsession of their boyfriend a lot better than total outsiders ...

[TheChessQueen]

Since when is the dojo a harem? I thought is was 'the place of the way'?

You know, its nice to have things in common with your partner, but it ain't the end of the world to be different. My wife has nothing to do with martial arts (and probably never will) but she is very supportive of me and my practice (and my ever growing sword collection) - my advice to you is stop chasing other kendoka and GET OUT MORE... the kendojo is for self-development and slaughtering your friends in the shiaijo - not fluttering eyelashes and pelvic thrusts... :)

Grrr - my 2,000th post was wasted on this...


Harem? Yep but it is the other way around in a kendo dojo with so many guys the girls get their pick!

As for flirting... Don't you remember being a kid and the way you showed a person of the opposite sex that you liked them was by being mean or pushing them around? I remember when I was like 5 or 6 I used to beat up boys. Besides there is something incredibly fun about beating up a guy in kendo and the guy treating you like an equal.

[Beckmeisterrr]

"this one time, at kendo camp..."

LOL... I can *just* imagine... the shinnanigans!! By the way, I saw you at the Perth Kendo Nationals - I was the girl (in T-shirt and jeans) at the front of the courts keeping score.

I'm the opposite. I don't do kendo, but my fella does. I would love to take it up... if only I had the time!

[Alison2805]

hehehe, you mean you saw me get squished into a pulp on the dojo floor, right?
Which member of the Budokan club is your boyf? I find it hard to remember names tho..
Are you going to come along to the grading at Curtin dojo on the 2nd of Sept?

[Beckmeisterrr]

hehehe, you mean you saw me get squished into a pulp on the dojo floor, right?
Which member of the Budokan club is your boyf? I find it hard to remember names tho..
Are you going to come along to the grading at Curtin dojo on the 2nd of Sept?

He's not with Budokan Academy. Not even in WA. Actually, not even in Australia. Heh... the people whom I've told already know him and those who don't... well.. they can keep guessing! He tells me that he's been lurking around in the forums and if he chooses to 'reveal' himself, so be it. Otherwise, I guess we'll just wait and see!

As for the grading, yes, I will probably be there. I quite enjoy watching the gradings and cheering people on. Will you and Angie be grading too?

[Ralutin]

hehehe, you mean you saw me get squished into a pulp on the dojo floor, right?
Which member of the Budokan club is your boyf? I find it hard to remember names tho..
Are you going to come along to the grading at Curtin dojo on the 2nd of Sept?
Hi, I'm Bec's 'fella.' Nice to meet you!:)

*goes back to lurking*:cool:

[Alison2805]

Nice to meet you Bec's fella!

I will be there as long as work doesnt send me away somewhere at short notice. I dont know about Angie, I havent seen her in a while.

I look forward to meeting you Rebecca!

[Andoru]

Angie's been slacking off?

[Henry Jones Jnr]

back to the subject of couples doing kendo.....how about Sumi sensei and his wife, although she does do naginata. I wonder if they sort out disagreements

[D'Artagnan]

Apologies in advance for posting in the Women's Forum....

but,

My Ex-girlfriend and I both got into Kendo at the same time, and I must say it is really really great to practise Kendo with your other half. And even though 3 and 1/2 yrs later things came to an end between us, we were fortunate to remain really close friends, and we continued to practise Kendo together at the same club, like adults, for some time, even when she began her current relationship with another member of the Dojo, whom I also remain great freinds with and practiced with weekly!

Basically there is no reason why a relationship cannot happen between two Kendoka, in fact it has many advantages. And although there were times when maybe I handed out a can o' whoopass or two to some jerk who'd roughed her up a bit, guys shouldnt do that to girls - even during keiko - so I dont feel guilty for it one bit.

In fact I'll ask her to post her point of view on here too, as she is also a member on this forum.

[runsyi]

And although there were times when maybe I handed out a can o' whoopass or two to some jerk who'd roughed her up a bit, guys shouldnt do that to girls - even during keiko - so I dont feel guilty for it one bit.

Could you elaborate on the extent of the roughing up? I know this is a bit off topic but nothing gets my goat more than guys that think they should take it easy on me just because I happen to be born without a dick. My favorite senseis and sempai are the ones that keep me honest and knock me down if I lose focus.

Although I don't know about your individual situation... I think that doing jigeiko with someone with the intent of hurting them in retaliation is antiethical to Kendo philosophies.

[Alison2805]

Angie's been slacking off?

dunno, she usually trains at a different dojo to me.

[Beckmeisterrr]

dunno, she usually trains at a different dojo to me.

Aren't both of you with Murdoch? Geeze... I always thought that Angie was a Murdoch-girl. I know that she also trains at other dojos. Hmm... she used to be pretty active on the forum too. Oh well... at least she has more of a life than I do. But since I've been housebound, that's not all that hard! LOL

[Beckmeisterrr]

back to the subject of couples doing kendo.....how about Sumi sensei and his wife, although she does do naginata. I wonder if they sort out disagreements

Dennis and I only have one martial art in common (at the moment). Iai. If we sorted out our differences that way, it would be... painful. *laughs*

[ace]

angie has stopped kendo altogether.
supposedly just for the moment but probably for good

[Beckmeisterrr]

angie has stopped kendo altogether.
supposedly just for the moment but probably for good

*faints*

Whoa.... I didn't know that...

*gobsmacked*

[Paburo]

Although I don't know about your individual situation... I think that doing jigeiko with someone with the intent of hurting them in retaliation is antiethical to Kendo philosophies.

dear shelly, i had a very similar situation to mr. Andy here, and i admit i did the same thing to whoever bruised her or did bulldozer kendo against her :D (and it was ALWAYS a guy...)

retaliation not as in really hurt the other guy or as in make him bleed or hit him outside the armour on purpose or anything, just give him a good beating whithin the kendo shiai rules :bandit:

i also admit i feel no shade of guilt whatsoever! those guys deserved it gooood :D

[Kirinhale]

Oh really, even if its 'bulldozer' kendo, let a girl take care of her own business, i wouldn't want a guy to take care of my problems.

And bruises aren't a reason to give that a guy a good beating, they're just bruises, they don't even hurt that much, and they heal quickly ^_^

Now really, where i can find the smileys on this ruddy forum? :D
EDIT : I found em :silly:

[ScottUK]

I guess I am guilty of this too. I tended to go heavier on the bigger guys who enjoy the rough and tumble of harder keiko, and reduce the physical aspect if my opponent was smaller (and therefore usually faster). It also gave me a chance to get more technical and less combative.

I can only imagine what would have happened if I had taken up Hyaku's offer of keiko with his high school girls. 14yr-old prefectural champions vs big useless kendo donkey. Could have been fun (for them).

[Akasha]

In fact I'll ask her to post her point of view on here too, as she is also a member on this forum.

Hi I'm her!

I think training with your other half is GREAT and it never gets boring! Knowing each others minds so well as well as their kendo keeps you on your toes and you have to learn and develop new things to keep on top of each other, and there's that little bit of competitive feeling that positively drives you forward.

And it is possible to remains good friends and still train together no matter what happens.

As for the protective thing, personally I can enjoy a good rough fence and I think I can do a reasonable job of holding my own if thats the case! But if someone twice my size is using more brute force and strength than kendo i'll fence my little heart out and try to use their strength against them and maybe even feel that I did some ass wooping myself in the end!

However, personally its still nice to have your knight in shining bogu do it all over again using good kendo that gets the message across. I saw and see it as team work! Not poor little me needing protecting.

I like trying to make the most of being a girly girl and a tom boy!

:dog: / :rambo:

[Beckmeisterrr]

As for the protective thing, personally I can enjoy a good rough fence and I think I can do a reasonable job of holding my own if thats the case! But if someone twice my size is using more brute force and strength than kendo i'll fence my little heart out and try to use their strength against them and maybe even feel that I did some ass wooping myself in the end!

However, personally its still nice to have your knight in shining bogu do it all over again using good kendo that gets the message across. I saw and see it as team work! Not poor little me needing protecting.

I like trying to make the most of being a girly girl and a tom boy!

:dog: / :rambo:

I think that is a great way of putting it. I've had the same way with my experience in karate - I'll put in all I've got and feel tops for fighting as hard as I can (even if I get beaten to a pulp in the end). But it feels just as good watching a bully put in his place. I think to some degree, the guys get a kick out of playing the hero? Maybe?

I'm the same with sticking out for the more junior girls - let the big boys know that they need to think twice before acting cute again. Must be something to do with my childhood -> sticking up for my little sister!!

[kumaken]

I'm proud to say I have a girl three days old who's father does kendo. Also her mother does kendo. Father and mother are both 3dan, but mom is admittedly (absolutely) stronger after the last few days. Fortunately for papa, she won't be able to move for a year or so...

Nuff Respect!

[runsyi]

Oh really, even if its 'bulldozer' kendo, let a girl take care of her own business, i wouldn't want a guy to take care of my problems.

And bruises aren't a reason to give that a guy a good beating, they're just bruises, they don't even hurt that much, and they heal quickly ^_^

Now really, where i can find the smileys on this ruddy forum? :D
EDIT : I found em :silly:

I'm with you there!

Paburo, that's a nice sentiment but I wouldn't want my boyfriend trying to rough up someone who did rough Kendo with me. It might make others more likely to ease up on me and that's not what I want. Fighting bulldozers is a good way to build up your hara and fighting spirit.

[David]

Eh...Try and look at it from the guy's point of view. Most of us have been brought up from day one to not hit girls. If a guy is going easy on you, there's a good chance that it's not because he thinks you're weaker or something, but because they're a little hesitant to just start bashing you with a shinai because they've got there mother's voice nagging at them in their men, "What are you doing?! I brought you up better then this!" If you want to get him to stop, get in a nice hard men shot to shut that voice up.

As for the other thing, alot of times, our parents (our fathers especially) tell us that we have to defend the girls we love. This usually means that if your little sister is being picked on in the playground by some bullies, do something about it. This train of thought usually carries over to relationships aswell. So if a guy sees someone being a jackass towards his girl, it's just natural that he'll want to do something about it. Again, it's not cause we think you're weak or something, it's just because we were brought up to act that way.

[runsyi]

Eh...Try and look at it from the guy's point of view. Most of us have been brought up from day one to not hit girls. If a guy is going easy on you, there's a good chance that it's not because he thinks you're weaker or something, but because they're a little hesitant to just start bashing you with a shinai because they've got there mother's voice nagging at them in their men, "What are you doing?! I brought you up better then this!" If you want to get him to stop, get in a nice hard men shot to shut that voice up.

As for the other thing, alot of times, our parents (our fathers especially) tell us that we have to defend the girls we love. This usually means that if your little sister is being picked on in the playground by some bullies, do something about it. This train of thought usually carries over to relationships aswell. So if a guy sees someone being a jackass towards his girl, it's just natural that he'll want to do something about it. Again, it's not cause we think you're weak or something, it's just because we were brought up to act that way.

Good point. But please understand that what may look like "jackass" behavior during keiko isn't always so. Something the female kenshi wants to be pushed to do her best.

[Neil Gendzwill]

Something the female kenshi wants to be pushed to do her best.There's a difference between pushing and being obnoxious. With most women, I could attack men and taiatari cleanly/legally and flatten them or hurt them. If not the first time, then the time after that. It doesn't do anything but cause injury and animosity, neither side learns anything from that. So I think that backing off on the physicality with the women is a sane thing to do that benefits both sides. I don't hit them any softer with the shinai though, unless they're beginners or kids.

[runsyi]

There's a difference between pushing and being obnoxious. With most women, I could attack men and taiatari cleanly/legally and flatten them or hurt them. If not the first time, then the time after that. It doesn't do anything but cause injury and animosity, neither side learns anything from that. So I think that backing off on the physicality with the women is a sane thing to do that benefits both sides. I don't hit them any softer with the shinai though, unless they're beginners or kids.

Maybe because I haven't encountered truely obnoxious behavior yet I can't differentiate between the two. Although if you do it "cleanly/legally" I don't see how animosity could result.

Oh, and back to the original topic... I am dating a non-kendoka right now. He claims to want to start, but lives on another island so I can't bring him to my dojo. So far he's pretty understanding when I go back early so I can make it to Iai.

Edit: BTW in my previous post I meant to write "sometimes" rather than "something"

[Neil Gendzwill]

Although if you do it "cleanly/legally" I don't see how animosity could result.I attack men and knock you on your ass. You get up, and immediately are on your ass again. Every time you get up, I attack men and knock you down.

I suspect you'd get tired of that real quick.

[runsyi]

I attack men and knock you on your ass. You get up, and immediately are on your ass again. Every time you get up, I attack men and knock you down.

I suspect you'd get tired of that real quick.

Maybe... or maybe I'd learn what to do to avoid getting knocked on my ass. I have a sensei that will push me into tables if I ayumi-ashi backwards. One guess as to what I don't do anymore?

[D'Artagnan]

Excerpt from an article written by a very well respected rokudan sensei - Men Doing Ji-geiko with Women

...In the case of men doing Ji-geiko with women, Tai-atari and the use of Waza that rely too much on physical power should also be restrained. Men should not fall into the habit of being afraid of being struck by a women or getting frustrated when you cannot strike as you wish. This causes you to strike, ignoring opportunities, differences in physique and physical strength. This is the worst type of Kendo, because it shows no respect for your opponent and creates nothing between you... Your opponent is not an enemy to destroy...



This pretty much sums up my attitude towards facing women in keiko.

In my opinion, all aite should not be practiced with in the same attitude. This does not mean that you should 'go easy' on those who are phsically weaker/shorter/older/younger/less fit etc.
however, it would be incorrect kendo for me to practice with a girl who is half my size, using mainly tai-atari and overly strong waza, (many powerful tsuki attacks for example). Nobody would gain from this situation.

Also, one actual incident that happened in my case, was when Kim (Akasha) was doing ippon-shobu with a guy who was having a real problem with getting his ass whooped by a girl. So he decided, as his waza was not up to scratch, he would intentionally attack areas which are not protected by her bougu, hurting her to the point where she had to stop keiko for the following 10-15 mins. (try 'taking care of your own business', girls, when you physically are too hurt to lift your own shinai - sad, but it happens :mad: ) hence I proceeded to demenstrate to that particular person the true meaning of 'rough' kendo... :smoker:

'spirit of kendo' or not, I feel no guilt, I am no samurai wannabe, he needed knocking down a peg or two, simple as that.

[Alison2805]

In that case D'Artagnen, I agree with you, but Id expect the whole dojo to whoop his ass, not just a boyfriend!! Id be quite mad if a boyf got agro because of some normal rough kendo though, I think thats the difference.

[David]

I don't think any kendo guy would do something like that. Most of us understand that keiko is rough stuff, and that that fact is unisexual. D'Artagnen pretty much described what I meant about "jackass" behavior in my previous post.

[Knicky]

Girlfriend and I do kendo together and at the same dojo.


I"m her sempai and we avoid each other inside the dojo and stay away from the kendo topic inside and out of the dojo.

[Kirinhale]

David, how you were brought up shouldn't be a problem in kendo, i understand most guys wouldn't get into a fistfight with a girl, but kendo is a whole other thing. Same goes for the defending, the way i see it, your gf isn't your gf during practice, she's just a fellow kendoka, and you shouldn't treat her differently from any other person in the dojo.

About the tai atari, i've never had problems with it, i fell a few times at first, but after that you learn to take a strong position when you see a possible tai atari coming up, worked for me, though i sometimes get pushed 3 metres away, but that's nothing i worry about.

D'artagnan, if guys start attacking me where i'm not protected on purpose, all i do is keep my calm, take advantage of the fact his kendo isn't 'correct' without going berserk on him myself :silly: and if its really that bad, sensei would take the guy apart and fix his attitude. That's not up to the other kendoka though, plus you don't know what the girl's limits are.

[Paburo]

Paburo, that's a nice sentiment but I wouldn't want my boyfriend trying to rough up someone who did rough Kendo with me. It might make others more likely to ease up on me and that's not what I want. Fighting bulldozers is a good way to build up your hara and fighting spirit.

well, i believe i said 'kick his ass within the kendo shiai rules', not to rough up or bully physically. granted, i'm not heavy or bulky, so i wouldn't be able to bully and bulldozer-push even if i wanted to! :D BUT i can use my speed to renzoku waza the bastard, tsuki tsuki, men kote, kote, men taiatari men men tsuki kote gyuaku dou tsuki dou. ratatatata. i can use my maki or otoshi waza to take the shinai fly off his hands while i keep renzoku-ing his ass :D what? you lost your shinai? poor thing. ratatatata :bandit:

to me, a dude who takes advantage of his mass and bulk to rough up against girls is a (bastard)guy who is either weak or insecure about his speed and technique, and has to resort to this dirty physical kendo. to me, "kick his ass" means to make him understand physical kendo will get him nowhere!! specially against another fellow guy, hehe :D if i got physical against these type of mofos then i wouldnt be teaching them 'a lesson' but lowering myself down to their cowardly level.

btw, it's nice to play hero if your girl asks you to (humurously). if she asked me not, i would HAVE TO simply let it go, have it her way and let her receive a good beating and leave the guy unpunished!! (haha jk) :D so now you know shelly, if we were dating, i'd bring the popcorn and just watch... and maybe(well, just maybe) cheer you up <3<3, lol :bandit:

[bobdonny]

I attack men and knock you on your ass. You get up, and immediately are on your ass again. Every time you get up, I attack men and knock you down.

I suspect you'd get tired of that real quick.

Neil, i am very much a rough begineer, and would not disagree with your opinion, but.... ;)

Seems to me you should not hold back for 3 reasons. (as i have been thought)

1) when any oponent strikes you in keiko it is a learning curve identifying a failing on your part. You should try not to let that happen again. Ignoring any of you oponents failings (by holding back etc) is doing them no good in their own development.

2)Why do you knock her down neil? is it your size? mass? You are tall and strong but i would expect there are many japanese kendoka smaller with less strenght than you that can take your men and tai atairi without falling?
If it is about mass, how bout when a petite girl enter's a shiai with a hugh 17stone chick with pure agression? Cos you held back the petite chick will be flattened... she has lost due to the people not going all out and helping her learn what she needs to .... dunno maybe she needs to get quicker and learn debanna dou etc?

3) I think on the metaphysical side, if you are holding back for your opponent you are also holding back for yourself. There is also the ettiquate and rei aspect.

I am quite happy to be wrong about this and dont mean to second guess more learned kendoka.
(But i also train with my wife and would never dream of holding back.... tho i would never whack anyone either)

[bobdonny]

to me, a dude who takes advantage of his mass and bulk to rough up against girls is ...
No different to one who takes advantage of his mass and bulk to rough up against guys.

Respect is respect, and bullying is bullying.

[Paburo]

No different to one who takes advantage of his mass and bulk to rough up against guys.

Respect is respect, and bullying is bullying.
that's true. but OBVIOUSLY the guy against girl case is much more often seen 'cause obviously, by average males are more bulky, tall, and heavy than girls... i thought i didn't have to state this fact since it was so... well, obvious lol :bandit:

[bobdonny]

Pab, what is obvious, is that a matter of perspective, is really how you see things ;)
There i thought you were saying how one individual (who happens to be a guy) uses an advantage (his weight and size) over another (who happens to be a girl) and is labelled a bastard.

What i am saying is if you change around what is in the brackets above you change the situation whilst keeping the same circumstance.

one individual (who happens to be a girl) uses an advantage (her speed advantage over a bulky man) over another (who happens to be a guy) and is labelled what? a bit@h???.
Could happen, and im sure in some places it does...

It depends on the intention that underlays the attack, not the attack itself, i.e. wether the individual wishes to hurt the girl, or show a weakness, or is just practicing keiko as he always has pure.
I.e. a bully is a bully etc

The arguement, which some think obvious is really not, but a reflection of a closed mind. Giving girls a handicap is reverse discrimination, and considering obvious ideals like above is also reverse discrimination.

It is a lot safer to assume nothing, and just get on with it. But i appreciate different cultures etc, so should you and not think things as obvious ;)

[Neil Gendzwill]

1) when any oponent strikes you in keiko it is a learning curve identifying a failing on your part. You should try not to let that happen again. Ignoring any of you oponents failings (by holding back etc) is doing them no good in their own development.True enough, but "holding back" is something I have to do quite a bit. Beginners say this sort of thing all the time "don't hold back, I want to learn to handle anything" but the truth of the matter is that they are not ready to handle "anything". This is all part of being an instructor, knowing what to give the student so they can learn. Repeated hard taiatari is something that is unnecessary and tiresome for anybody, but especially for women.

2)Why do you knock her down neil? is it your size? mass? You are tall and strong but i would expect there are many japanese kendoka smaller with less strenght than you that can take your men and tai atairi without falling?Height, mass, strength and I have decent technique. If she's good she probably won't fall, if she's quite good she can turn it into an opportunity. But no matter the skill, if I keep going at it she's likely to be hurt.

3) I think on the metaphysical side, if you are holding back for your opponent you are also holding back for yourself.Quite the opposite. If I have a much smaller, physically weaker opponent that I know taiatari-men is a high percentage attack, I learn nothing by repeatedly doing the same thing. My kendo improves much more by playing very cleanly. Hoever, I'll definitely take it in shiai so it's good for the girls to experience this stuff on occasion.

There's all kinds of variables in this. Most of the women I practice with are also friends who I know quite well. So I know some of them can give and take rough keiko, and some of them might get hurt, and some of them are already hurt from years of rough keiko.

Plus it's one of those "know it when you see it" things. If you see someone playing clean hard kendo, and then see someone being an asshole bulldozer, you'll get the difference. The problem is women are much more likely to be hurt in that scenario. Like it or not, there's a difference between a woman and a man of similar height and weight. Especially in everyday keiko, we have to consider the long term - what injuries we risk, what skills we are building with each practice. Accounting for age, size and sex is not "going easy", it's just something that needs to be done for everyone's continued improvement and health.

[sainueng]

Neil, i am very much a rough begineer, and would not disagree with your opinion, but.... ;)

Seems to me you should not hold back for 3 reasons. (as i have been thought)

1) when any oponent strikes you in keiko it is a learning curve identifying a failing on your part. You should try not to let that happen again. Ignoring any of you oponents failings (by holding back etc) is doing them no good in their own development.

2)Why do you knock her down neil? is it your size? mass? You are tall and strong but i would expect there are many japanese kendoka smaller with less strenght than you that can take your men and tai atairi without falling?
If it is about mass, how bout when a petite girl enter's a shiai with a hugh 17stone chick with pure agression? Cos you held back the petite chick will be flattened... she has lost due to the people not going all out and helping her learn what she needs to .... dunno maybe she needs to get quicker and learn debanna dou etc?

3) I think on the metaphysical side, if you are holding back for your opponent you are also holding back for yourself. There is also the ettiquate and rei aspect.

I am quite happy to be wrong about this and dont mean to second guess more learned kendoka.
(But i also train with my wife and would never dream of holding back.... tho i would never whack anyone either)

I think there is a fine line between teaching someone how to stand their ground and bullying/abusive. You can teach a person by being just above what they are able to handle. You don't have to destroy them, i.e. knock them down. In fact, destroying them every time is probably detrimental, unless you know beforehand how tough, both mentally and physically, the person is. I think Honda sensei's article from which D'Artagnan posted an excerpt of is a good guide.

Personally, this is how I would differentiate it. Rather than teaching by knocking the person down repetitively, you go hard enough to push your opponent back and loose their balance. Any kendoka should recognize that when they are off balance like that, they are doing something wrong. From there, as they develop, you can increase the amount of power you expect them to handle. But there is no need to increase the danger of injury by repetitively knocking someone to the ground.

Finally, knowing how to hold back your strength is not necessarily a bad thing. To do it intelligently requires you to understand your own abilities and how to control them. There are also situations where it would be necessary, such as sparring against kids and beginners. There is also the possibility of your strength and speed being used against you by your opponent if you always go full tilt.

[Neil Gendzwill]

Rather than teaching by knocking the person down repetitively, you go hard enough to push your opponent back and loose their balance.Good point, and usually how I approach it.

[Paburo]

The arguement, which some think obvious is really not, but a reflection of a closed mind. Giving girls a handicap is reverse discrimination, and considering obvious ideals like above is also reverse discrimination.

It is a lot safer to assume nothing, and just get on with it. But i appreciate different cultures etc, so should you and not think things as obvious ;)
oh really... lol. so i'm being discriminatory and offensive to other cultures? wow... :D

let me just ask you this: do you in ireland make all taikai sex mixed? do you set up taikai as to make only one division for all kendoka/kenshi in ireland boys and girls altogether? because if you don't, well.... that's very discriminatory mate!!! :D lol

now really, my point is girls and boys are physically different. boys are usually stronger and heavier. that's obvious no matter how hard you try to make it seem like it isn't my friend. there's no discrimination in accepting it, it's how mother nature made us. that's why there are different divisions in all sports and martial arts.

now, a bully dude against other guys is an ass, yeah. but a bully dude against girls who are much smaller than him (in average) is a BASTARD. there's a difference you see :D slight, but important :bandit:

this has nothing to do with being discriminatory or dismissing foreign cultures. that's really everything i'm not if you knew me! :D

cheers.

[ReKru]

If I have a much smaller, physically weaker opponent that I know taiatari-men is a high percentage attack, I learn nothing by repeatedly doing the same thing. My kendo improves much more by playing very cleanly. Hoever, I'll definitely take it in shiai so it's good for the girls to experience this stuff on occasion.


Well, that's the one reason for not 'playing nice' with all girls all the time. When they get to a shiai, there won't be any holding back on the opponent's side.

I think there are effective ways for smaller/lighter kendoka to deal with huge bullies, but those need to be practiced, so you need to play 'a bit rougher' to give them the chance to experiment how to deal with roughness, before it 'counts'.
Playing nice and technical with a smaller and 'weaker' person will only help him/her improve until he/she faces someone real brutal in shiai and get stunned by the impact of a powerfull men-taiatari.
I also usually try to explain to beginners that going into a direct taiatari pushing contest with someone twice your mass is a bit futil >>oo<<<< - that they need to use their speed and manouverability to avoid such situations and position themselves in a situation where they have an advantage, because I experienced such things used with great effectiveness against me.

[Shazzanzzz]

From what I've seen from girls i know, different girls acts really differently to rough kendo. One I knew hid and cried about it, one just complains about it, one got mad after getting knocked down... and beat the guy (in tournament), one actually asked me to beat him up for her... haha. Well, lets just say I wasn't very accurate with my hits against him, especially kote and doh, i didn't do tsuki at least... that's too rough.

Well anyways, although different girls act differently, and different people are different, I would say that they don't appreciate it, generally speaking...

I think there is a fine line between a good strong taiatari and going in with the intent to knock someone down. Good strong kendo players who actually utilize their bodies right use their strength during impacts and attack afterwards. Clinging on people and putting your whole weight on the opposing player, using your arm to push, bashing on your opponent with intending target is not good kendo. It's not using your 'advantages' because it doesn't lead to winning kendo, but instead, 'not losing' kendo. I find it VERY annoying, because it makes so much harder for me to score. For girls, it's 100x worse with the added effect of them being physically hurt. So there is absolutely no point doing rough kendo, it's not good for you or your opponent, especially against girls.

[Kirinhale]

Well this sure has turned into an interesting discussion, question is, do girls/women even have a say in this?

I can't say it enough, personally, i wouldn't want anyone to mind my business, and i wouldn't make a fuss out of some bulldozer-keiko's. It's part of training, not everyone goes easy on you, if you can't handle it as a woman, think twice, if you can't handle it as a man, same.

[bobdonny]

Fair enough Pab, Maybe its beyond the realm on mere men to discuss the female of the species ;)
BTW, I don’t know you, and hence would not make assumtions about you, it was more about culture and society reverse discriminating, and it is impossible to avoid (for everyone me too!)

Like women in the work place, they fight for equality, fairness to be treated exactly the same as men, but then complain if someone doesn't hold the door open for them etc…
Generalisation I know, but tis just an example, it happened my friend and twas very funny indeed.

In Ireland we do not have everyone in together for a taikai - but it may be funny (think there are less than 5 women kendoka in ireland, hopefully we can field a womens team next year ;) ), and neither do we have womens only and men only clubs to protect them further.
Its about balance and having trust in your fellow kendoka.

No offence intended Pab,

Like it or not, there's a difference between a woman and a man of similar height and weight.
I agree, but there is also a difference between 2 men of different height and weight. But there is no thread about that. Thats all, all this talk is making a big deal out of something i am not sure warrants it.
I cant argue with all your other point, your perspective on them is different to mine but i understand it. I was talking more about a kendoka at the same grade and experience as you.

IMO, I am 6foot 2 and about 18stone-ish and built very stocky.... I could knock down most of the guys in my club let alone girls... but i dont. Not cos i go easy on the girls but that is just the way i do kendo. You need control in your kendo like hitting kote without breaking a wrist --- you should be able to keiko without knocking a opponent down (be it a boy or a girl) and i have knocked people down, but that is their fault for loosing their balance :)
but it was said to tai atairi with optimum force - only what is necessary, anything more is wasteful and bad kendo (knock downs included - unless it is the oponents fault, bad balance etc)

[runsyi]

Also, one actual incident that happened in my case, was when Kim (Akasha) was doing ippon-shobu with a guy who was having a real problem with getting his ass whooped by a girl. So he decided, as his waza was not up to scratch, he would intentionally attack areas which are not protected by her bougu, hurting her to the point where she had to stop keiko for the following 10-15 mins. (try 'taking care of your own business', girls, when you physically are too hurt to lift your own shinai - sad, but it happens :mad: ) hence I proceeded to demenstrate to that particular person the true meaning of 'rough' kendo... :smoker:

'spirit of kendo' or not, I feel no guilt, I am no samurai wannabe, he needed knocking down a peg or two, simple as that.

That's exactly why I asked you to elaborate.

Here's why I wouldn't want a guy taking the piss to someone they thought was doing rough Kendo with me:
One day I went to visit my best friend at his dojo and we were doing jigeiko. Either he was really on that day or I was really off and he pretty much bulldozed me. After we bowed out and I limped away (I had a previous injury) all the other guys started to tease him about beating up on a girl. Imagine if someone had taken that the wrong way and decided to "teach" my friend a lesson. I'd be quite upset and my friend might get hurt.

However, I still feel that there is a 'spirit of kendo' and that it should be abided by. I understand that it's hard not to go ape-shit on someone you feel is hurting someone you care about, but it shouldn't be done in the dojo. That makes you just as wrong as him. You don't likey? I'm just going to point to what Paburo wrote:

...if i got physical against these type of mofos then i wouldnt be teaching them 'a lesson' but lowering myself down to their cowardly level.

Of course, if someone is such a jerk that they intentionally try to injure someone you should bring it to your sensei's attention. Someone like that shouldn't even be in the dojo.

[Neil Gendzwill]

I agree, but there is also a difference between 2 men of different height and weight. But there is no thread about that.Just the way the thread drifted. Having brought up the point, I don't like to hammer anyone over and over, no matter the size. OTOH I don't run into many 5'-nothing 100 lb men, but there are quite a few kendo women like that.
I was talking more about a kendoka at the same grade and experience as you.Much of the same comments apply. During jigeiko, both of you should be trying to learn, not so much win. So continual taiatari just because it works against someone isn't useful for either side, because there's not a lot of learning going on there.

It's quite simple - in keiko, consider who you're playing and adjust accordingly. You don't hammer an 80 year old sensei either, unless he tells you to. You don't give 100% against someone who is not close to or over your level. Jigeiko is not shiai.

[D'Artagnan]

...it shouldn't be done in the dojo. That makes you just as wrong as him...


Actually i'm glad it did happen in the dojo.

If it was outside the dojo, I'd've broken his b#stard legs!

oh, whoever said that it was 'for the sensei' the sort out, I like how you draw the assumption that it wasn't me running the practise...

Guys beating up on girls has no place in Kendo simple as that...

[runsyi]

Actually i'm glad it did happen in the dojo.

If it was outside the dojo, I'd've broken his b#stard legs!

oh, whoever said that it was 'for the sensei' the sort out, I like how you draw the assumption that it wasn't me running the practise...

Guys beating up on girls has no place in Kendo simple as that...

I drew that assumption. So were you running practice? Without supervision? As a hachi-kyu?

[KhawMengLee]

How can I say this without sounding sexist...hmmmnnnn...okay, when you fight a beginner or a weaker opponent, do you go 100% and repeatedly smack them down? Or do you try to bring up their level by placing your skill bar just above theirs?

A lot of the women I fight in the dojo aren't used to very physical kendo(hard taiatari, pushing, etc). My Japanese Sempai is a different story because you try slamming her and she'll take it or sidestep and nail your kote...but she's had very hard training in Japan and she's at a different level.

Most of the women...actually kendoka for that matter don't start from a young age. They enter it in their early 20's and suddenly you want to slam of smash them...its not proper or fair. Its like picking a person off the street and handing them a rifle and dropping them 10 minutes later in Bagdhad.

I'm not saying we should be patronising because of chivalry. We should be patronizing because of their skill level...if they are a beginner or fight like a beginner, then you should fight them as their SEMPAI. If they are at a level that they show they can hold it on their own then fight them as an equal or a Sempai or Sensei.

Treat them not as women or men but as the kendoka they are.

[Paikea]

I drew that assumption. So were you running practice? Without supervision? As a hachi-kyu?Ummm...check yer PM's Runsyi. Andy's not exactly hachi-kyu, although he does hang around with Gibbo, I think.

[David]

Ah...I think someone should make a new topic. This thread was originally started by a girl to see if any other girls dated fellow kendo-ka's, and it's pretty much been hijacked by all the guys.

[bobdonny]

Treat them not as women or men but as the kendoka they are.

Im with that, and i agree... lets give the girls back their thread. ;)

[Twobitmage]

Maybe... or maybe I'd learn what to do to avoid getting knocked on my ass. I have a sensei that will push me into tables if I ayumi-ashi backwards. One guess as to what I don't do anymore?

is that "CH" sensei? or N?

there's another guy i've seen do that but I forget his name

[D'Artagnan]

...although he does hang around with Gibbo, I think...

well, only by accident...

[Paikea]

well, only by accident...Without you guys, he'd be unsupervised.

[Twobitmage]

that avatar makes you look like wolverine, paikea.

[ScottUK]

I was thinking more along this (http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00004CRRI.02.LZZZZZZZ.jpg) line...

[runsyi]

is that "CH" sensei? or N?

there's another guy i've seen do that but I forget his name

Neither. It's Te-sensei.

Perry, I read and replied to your PM.

[Paikea]

that avatar makes you look like wolverine, paikea.Is this better?

[runsyi]

A lot of the women I fight in the dojo aren't used to very physical kendo(hard taiatari, pushing, etc). My Japanese Sempai is a different story because you try slamming her and she'll take it or sidestep and nail your kote...but she's had very hard training in Japan and she's at a different level.

Also, proving my point. Do you think your Japanese female sempai would be at the point she's at today if her sempai and sensei took it easy on her because she was a girl?

Anyway, I think in Kendo, as in all things, common sense should be used. Nuff said.

[Newbie]

If people are gonna go easy on you, it should be because of your skill level.

My best friend and I never seemed to get each other in jigeiko. If he was able to train, my stomach was sore and full of acid or something. If I was able to train he'd have buggered his knee or be kept back at work. If we were both training then the group'd be split in two (juniors and seniors) and again we'd never face each other. So this one night we were both training and unbelievably, we got to face each other! So, after we finished up, he and I put our armour back on. Now, this guy kept telling me for months whenever we'd talk about it "you'd be fine against me, I'm slow and crap". Now, bear in mind this is my best mate so he wasn't about to go easy on me. I've accomplished alot because this guy doesn't pull his punches when it comes to me. Well, we faced each other and he absolutely demolished me. I was fairly intimidated but not by my friend but by a superior kendoka. Then he dropped his level down to mine and we went for first ippon (he still beat me ;) ) but that was when I realise just how much all the seniors I'd been training with had been dropping down to my level. I know many of them do and give advice during jigeiko and the sensei's really great for it but this is because of my skill, not my gender. My friend that I sparred with this night is nikkyu and hasn't graded since 2001 but he was saying the sensei drops himself down to a nikkyu level when they face each other. And he's a guy ;)

I'd say most beginners get this kind of treatment. It shouldn't be easy, and you should always be learning things (I love it when someone gives advice during a drill, then you face them in jigeiko and they reinforce what they told you earlier in a practical, sparring situation) but if seniors did their best against juniors, we'd get demolished, not learn anything and lose all confidence.

Basically I'm trying to illustrate that I agree with Meng. I don't want people to go easy on me cos I'm a girl. I want people to help me cos I'm crap! :D

[Andoru]

Anyway, I think in Kendo, as in all things, common sense should be used. Nuff said.

You know, I really dig this chick! :smoker:

[D'Artagnan]

Anyway, I think in Kendo, as in all things, common sense should be used. Nuff said.


Couldn't agree more :wink:

[Shogun]

It would be a dream come true to have a girl that liked military men and would practice kendo with me daily *sigh*:down: ,most girls who like the Army think kendo is wierd and the girls who like kendo dont like the miliatry.im torn between 2 worlds!

[Inner_Silence]

last year i was with a girl, she was like 5 years older than me, and she was a very good gil, but she always got mad at me becouse i sepend too much time in kendo (or playn guitar or studying)... so one day she told me that i had to choose between kendo or her..
that same day i went to practice kendo...
of course she was so shure of herself that she didnt even see it comming, that happens normally, really good looking girls are not used do recieve a "no" for an answer, thats only becouse they are used to date idiots.

i think that when u r with someone u have to respect the way that the other person is, rather than to try her (or him) to change the way u would like them to be. like leon tolstoi says on one of his tales.

[Inner_Silence]

It would be a dream come true to have a girl that liked military men and would practice kendo with me daily *sigh*:down: ,most girls who like the Army think kendo is wierd and the girls who like kendo dont like the miliatry.im torn between 2 worlds!

you have beeng dating wrong girls, a good girl would not like yo coz u r in military or do kendo or if ya got a nice car, or looking of the kind of friends u have or looking at the place u live, or the way u dress... she has to like you coz u r the person u actually r.

and man there are SO MANY fishes in the sea! dont spend ur time (and money) in a girl that doesnt deserve it

[SmellsLikeBogu]

the act of asking a choise between kendo and a person is reason enough to dump em.

[tamaki]

the act of asking a choise between kendo and a person is reason enough to dump em.

That is soooo right.

[tamaki]

you have beeng dating wrong girls, a good girl would not like yo coz u r in military or do kendo or if ya got a nice car, or looking of the kind of friends u have or looking at the place u live, or the way u dress... she has to like you coz u r the person u actually r.




What do you mean?The person you actually are shows itself in many aspects like,the choices you make in life in general,the people you hang out with,the space that you live etc etc.
For example,I like guys who dont care about their stuff and like,destroy them ,throw around and have bad handwriting(I m not gonna explain that here!)
AND I think that if you really like kendo(or whatever) of course it is preferred if the guy also does kendo!!You wont have to break up with him later on because of his not liking your kendo thing and its nice doing jikeiko with.And many many other reasons ;)

[Inner_Silence]

thats kinda easy, i mean... hmm lets put an example:

lets say that (hypothetically speaking) i like girls that... hmmm to say something, lets say that i dont like otaku girls (u know girls who like to watch anime stuff play games on the computer n stuff) and someday i know a very nice girl, but she likes to do this things, coz of my prejudice against otaku (again, this is just an hypotesis) i would say "oh too bad, she such a nice girl but anime stuff isn't just my style..." and i would never get to know her just becouse of this. and she might be just the perfect girl but im putting her aside just becouse she likes anime or she has a bad handwritting or stuff like that...

really in my case, i kind of try to look more the good things about people (in general) before make a bad impression of them just becouse i dont like unimportant little details of them . is kind of looking more than just the surface. of course this takes time but im a very patient man (thats why most of the times, one way or another i always get what i want, as they say "patience is the mother of all virtues")... in the other hand, if u do so, youll realize that people is just the "opposite" way that they look like they are (i used the "oposite" coz it isnt this simple, its hard to explain). well, to me is easy to see this things coz im kind of perceptive about people, but again it takes time....

anyway I agree with you, that things we do, or the way we dress or whatever really shows the way u are, but until certain point. coz the car u have, or the way u dress, or the things you do does not define you as a whole person. in this case, people are more than just the sum of their parts.

;)

[Inner_Silence]

...besides, nobody is perfect. and if someone looks perfect, its only cause they are afraid that people can take a look at their "weak points" (wich isnt weak at all)

[tamaki]

lets say that (hypothetically speaking) i like girls that... hmmm to say something, lets say that i dont like otaku girls (u know girls who like to watch anime stuff play games on the computer n stuff) and someday i know a very nice girl, but she likes to do this things, coz of my prejudice against otaku (again, this is just an hypotesis) i would say "oh too bad, she such a nice girl but anime stuff isn't just my style..." and i would never get to know her just becouse of this. and she might be just the perfect girl but im putting her aside just becouse she likes anime or she has a bad handwritting or stuff like that...

really in my case, i kind of try to look more the good things about people (in general) before make a bad impression of them just becouse i dont like unimportant little details of them . is kind of looking more than just the surface. of course this takes time but im a very patient man (thats why most of the times, one way or another i always get what i want, as they say "patience is the mother of all virtues")... in the other hand, if u do so, youll realize that people is just the "opposite" way that they look like they are (i used the "oposite" coz it isnt this simple, its hard to explain). well, to me is easy to see this things coz im kind of perceptive about people, but again it takes time....

anyway I agree with you, that things we do, or the way we dress or whatever really shows the way u are, but until certain point. coz the car u have, or the way u dress, or the things you do does not define you as a whole person. in this case, people are more than just the sum of their parts.

;)
of course I am not saying that I like or dislike people based on these things,its just that if u like somebody and he/she has that small something detail ,you smile :D and like them more.
as for the passions and hobbies,ok,you would go out with the otaku girl,but if you were with her and she spoke all the time about anime wouldnt u be bored?in the same way that we might sound annoying to someone that doesnt have an interest in kendo
and your trying to find good points in everyone is very good of course!(but I am more of the intuition type;if I dont like somebody from the first moment I see them I am never gonna fall in love or something by searching good points in them).and of course nobody is always what they look like.But I think that if one has a bad/good feeling about somebody,one should trust the feeling.
lately I am living in an enviroment (budai-japan)where I cant speak with everyone perfectly because everybody comes from a different country and speaks different language and not everybody speaks japanese or english,so you have to notice everything but words on other people.I came to realize how important intuition is.hm now I feel like a dog or something:ponder:

[megumi_chann]

always told that one shouldn't date someone in same club/dojo/gang.. if they break up, one will have to leave or it will create conflict within the club/dojo/gang..

already married, and my wife doesn't care for kendo :)

pete

as sad as that sounds, it's true.and think of it this way, if you date someone from another dojo, you can go to the other dojo to practice.and if you decide to call it quits, you won't dread going to practice.:smiley:

[Landorph]

well... if you can handle your shinai well, why would a good girl leave u anyway. They'd love your shinai skills, and when your kendo demonstrates not only power, but waza and mental aspects that connects well withthe girl.. there shouldn't be a problem. It would only be a problem if u lose your humbleness and aims your load of ego and shoots it high, or slam your shinai too hard .... ^_^

[Kenzan]

well... if you can handle your shinai well, why would a good girl leave u anyway. They'd love your shinai skills, and when your kendo demonstrates not only power, but waza and mental aspects that connects well withthe girl.. there shouldn't be a problem. It would only be a problem if u lose your humbleness and aims your load of ego and shoots it high, or slam your shinai too hard .... ^_^

7 euphemisms in one paragraph!

You humble me, sir! :D

[Seiza_Seizure]

When I started kendo 10 months ago, my husband wasn't supportive at all: he complained a lot I had to do something more usual as swimming or running, etc.
Now he has got used and he has finally given me money to buy my own bogu, although he sometimes still laugh a bit, thinking he has a such strange wife.

He brought you bogu...that is great!
It sounds like you scared him into submission. Maybe he felt threatened and thought that you might hit him if he was to get out of line. I was lucky enough that my partner bought me a hakama, gi and kote when she went to Japan. Since then she refuses to buy anything else Kendo related. What did I do to deserve that...:)

[Inner_Silence]

my girlfriend doesnt understand kendo at all, but she understands me, and thats what matters :D

[Bokushingu]

my wife is very supportive. I guess maybe because it's something from her culture. Even my mother-in-law sends me videos from japan. I sometime worry that i do too much kendo: 3 to 4 days a week, But She loves the fact that i maintain a good weight. I think if i had married a past girlfriend not only would i have not found out about kendo but they wouldn't have let me.

The good thing is that kendo is only 1 to 2 hours a day.

[LarsCW]

My girlfriend isn't too happy about me doing kendo because it makes us be apart and she doesn't really understand why i'm so hyper happy after i get back from keiko.

She agreed on my buying her a shinai and she's going to do suburi exersizes with me, I also bought a size 34 shinai for her 7 year old son, he already runs around like a jedi wacking anything that moves.
This really will be a challenge and a good way to practise.

I think by buying the shinai she might get some more understanding for what i enjoy in kendo. I know she will never join kendo with me because of the pain she would never want to endure, this is something she already told me.

[Hisham]

My girlfriend isn't too happy about me doing kendo because it makes us be apart and she doesn't really understand why i'm so hyper happy after i get back from keiko.


Better stays that way, imagine the way she'd look at you if she understands that your happiness comes from being beat up and beating up others.
-"Lars my dear, didn't know you were into sado-masochistic "therapy":eek::confused:, interesting that'll definetly add another dimension to our love life:jaguar:"
The latter would be a very optimistic ending.:D

[manaxpower]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years now and we met through the kendo club at our University. Funny story, our president back then had to transfer schools and so the VP became president, and they needed a new VP, and for some reason I was nominated and elected as the new VP even though I had just joined the club a few weeks earlier (but I was the only girl in the club...supposedly it was strategic). So after becoming VP, I started talking to everybody in the club, and that's how I got close to my bf, who had started kendo a year earlier than I had.

Fast forward 2 1/2 years, I've outranked him in kendo (shinsa opportunity is the key) but he's the same rank as I am in iaido (even though I started iaido before he did). But really there's not much rivalry or any hard feelings when we do jigeiko, he can still beat me (as he should, he's been doing it longer than me), and I think we contributed well to our kendo club as president (me) and vp (him) for the last 2 years (yes we ruled our club together...muahaha). We didn't really have much arguments about club stuff, only when we went on tournament road trips when he'd be the driver and I was the navigator...then we'd have huge fights. But we usually can't stay mad at each other for long so all is well...or so I think, that's just my side of the story.

[Dragon Ninja]

well... if you can handle your shinai well, why would a good girl leave u anyway. They'd love your shinai skills, and when your kendo demonstrates not only power, but waza and mental aspects that connects well withthe girl.. there shouldn't be a problem. It would only be a problem if u lose your humbleness and aims your load of ego and shoots it high, or slam your shinai too hard .... ^_^

LMFAO!

It's all about how well the guy can tsuki ;)

[ScottUK]

Hehe you're smutty - I like you... :D

[Spendius]

Hehe you're smutty - I like you... :D

DragonNinja, on your blog (which has neat stuff, like this naginata vs kendo video), you call yourself a "tenugui wh*re", and, well, now I'm curious...

[Dragon Ninja]

Scott--I do have a foul mouth, you should've been there when we were coming up with kendo pick up lines :P

Spendius--Thanks for the compliment--I'm a "tenugui whore" because I love to collect tenugui. My sensei got me addicted to it.

[tanueirin]

angie has stopped kendo altogether.
supposedly just for the moment but probably for good

Sheesh, you take a break for 1.8 years and suddenly the rumours fly! :p

Don't worry, I'm not finished with kendo juuust yet ;)

[ace]

hey that was a while ago and you didnt even say good bye so what was i to think?
hey hey yeah throught so.

[Nash]

Sheesh, you take a break for 1.8 years and suddenly the rumours fly! :p

Don't worry, I'm not finished with kendo juuust yet ;)

So when can we expect a comeback?

[ccheck5]

Hehe you're smutty - I like you... :D we always need more smut.

but yea i had a girlfriend when i started kendo, but now i dont. it was the classic kendo or me situation. i need to find chicks that understand kendo

[absenteekendoka]

Hello all, new...ish to the forums. My fiance actually gives me right proper grief if I dont get out to the dojo regularly................loosely translated I get a loooot of grief in this regard...as I've been absent for a while (work and being accident prone outside of the dojo?!) But all in all I have to say she's the most understanding person ever when it comes to me having a mistress called Kendo. Doesn't complain about sweaty hakama and gi hanging around after class ....nor when I hang out and tear down and oil my shinais on the front porch.....I think she liked the weird looks we got from the neighbours.

[ccheck5]

Hello all, new...ish to the forums. My fiance actually gives me right proper grief if I dont get out to the dojo regularly................loosely translated I get a loooot of grief in this regard...as I've been absent for a while (work and being accident prone outside of the dojo?!) But all in all I have to say she's the most understanding person ever when it comes to me having a mistress called Kendo. Doesn't complain about sweaty hakama and gi hanging around after class ....nor when I hang out and tear down and oil my shinais on the front porch.....I think she liked the weird looks we got from the neighbours.
you bastard, i envy you. lol

[ghostdancer]

Hello all, new...ish to the forums. My fiance actually gives me right proper grief if I dont get out to the dojo regularly................loosely translated I get a loooot of grief in this regard...as I've been absent for a while (work and being accident prone outside of the dojo?!) But all in all I have to say she's the most understanding person ever when it comes to me having a mistress called Kendo. Doesn't complain about sweaty hakama and gi hanging around after class ....nor when I hang out and tear down and oil my shinais on the front porch.....I think she liked the weird looks we got from the neighbours.

snap i gotta wife like that ................and for iai as well

she bought me a set of Bogu when i stated kendo and a new dou a while later and when i started iai bought me an iaito as well
.........simply the best

[foundinsea]

My wife kicks me out of the house on Sunday mornings cause she knows I'll spend half the day at the dojo and end up finding food outside rather than ask her to kindly make something for me before I get home (actually she likes it when I do kendo in the evenings too cause it means she doesn't need to fix dinner for me). She also thinks I don't exercise enough so kendo makes her worry less about my health...go figure. She even lets me fix and prep my shinai in front of the TV (kinda hot outside)...which is pretty cool. Best part was her anniversary gift to me...new bogu set, in particular my do ^^...she even went to the kendo shop with me when I was getting measured...and I tried to include her in the purchase by asking her what she thought of the the different do I was considering. I think it made her feel good to "choose" my do for me. And I know she'll like it when I start putting shinai into our daughter's hands...this will get both of us out of the house meaning a nice lazy Sunday for her...hehe...

[eMo]

And I know she'll like it when I start putting shinai into our daughter's hands...this will get both of us out of the house meaning a nice lazy Sunday for her...hehe..

hahahah it's like hitting two birds with one stone..!

[PlutoInLove]

I have a policy at the dojo... You put your gi on, you bow in, and it's not a matter of boy/girl anymore. You're all kendoka, you're all there for the same thing: to practice kendo, to advance your skill level and to enjoy yourselves. The only differences among you should be your skill level. I'm there to learn and to better myself. Patronising me-- for any reason-- won't do me a bit of good. At my dojo, the first Japanese my sensei taught me was "onegaishimasu," which he defined as "thank you for what you are about to teach me/have just taught me," and we began all of our geiko with it... I have heard other definitions, but Japanese is pretty mutable. (Right now I'm writing an essay on the meaning of 'kokoro,' and it's taking me a lot longer than I ever expected. Read the book by Natsume Soseki, it's good.) Sensei said another thing; starting on an equal standing, girls advance more rapidly than boys do in the beginning, but are eventually overtaken by the boys and then generally stay a step or two behind. He gave his reasons, but respect aside, I see no reason for it. The more I study kendo and the philosophy of budo, the less important the differences between male and female physiology become. What sensei told me, on my very first day of training, only made me more determined to be the best. I accomplish what I set out to accomplish.
You're all kendoka. You're all there to learn.
While I have no problem balancing my femininity with my training and other 'tomboyish' pursuits, I don't need a man to defend my honor OR carry my bag. If a man had a problem with my loving kendo, then he obviously doesn't get me on some basic level, and it's not worth waiting for the relationship's inevitable end (be it over kendo or something else), when you could be out looking for someone else who DOES get you.

And what are all you boys doing in the Women's Forum anyways? Not to say that this conversation wasn't a good one and even enlightening at times, but this is supposed to be a place where girls can talk about things that they might not be otherwise comfortable sharing in front of the whole community. That's if I read the forum subtitle correctly. I must say I do feel conflicted about it.

[Sasaki]

Maa...
My girfriend isn't a kendoka but she does fencing :) We sometimes tend to argue about childish things like which sport is the better one, but it's somewhat refreshing to have someone who also understands the joy of swordmanship, even if he isn't a kendoka. Especially here in Germany, where Kendo is mostly seen as weird and agressive.
We also exchange knowledge, and try out each others weapons :) It's really fun ;)

[turboyoshi]

Sensei said another thing; starting on an equal standing, girls advance more rapidly than boys do in the beginning, but are eventually overtaken by the boys and then generally stay a step or two behind. He gave his reasons, but respect aside, I see no reason for it.


I suspect there is some biological difference that cannot be compensated for. I'm not sure what it is but pool(billiards) and chess are a couple examples of activities where athletic ability is a minimal factor and yet the top women can't compete on an equal footing with the top men. There may be individual exceptions but the evidence suggests that the general rule is probably correct, even after taking into account social/cultural factors.
I don't know how true it is but I've read that men are better at activities requiring a singular focus and women are better at multitasking.
Do you believe that a man can think like a woman or that a woman can think like a man? And even so, can you give a reasonable argument that it applies to the general case or just to the rare individual?

This isn't to say you should give up on the idea of being the equal or even superior to any man, and I truly wish you the best. Dog knows we need more strong women.


but this is supposed to be a place where girls can talk about things that they might not be otherwise comfortable sharing in front of the whole community.

I generally try to stay out of it but sometimes my curiosity gets in the way. I wouldn't feel it's my place to comment on female issues but if you're going to discuss issues that apply to both genders, you need our input to have a serious discussion right? Even so, I hope this doesn't make any female uncomfortable and that you all still feel you can say whatever you want to say.

sean

[imouto]

In my case, the boy does fencing. And I do as well.

I don't think he'll join in on kendo any time soon.

[Inner_Silence]

once I dated some girl at my dojo, like about... hmmm that should have been at least four years ago...
I think that it was hard to her to differenciate me from inside the dojo and outside the dojo, but to me it was completely different. I think that its very important to set those limits, becouse first of all, you wont be able to spar properly with your couple becouse he/he is that! your couple, so your kendo and your couple's kendo wont improve as it should.

I might be wrong, but I think that (for what Ive seen) for girls its hard to sepparate things, (whatever it is, love, frienship, or in the other hand, dislikes or so) Ive seen lots of girls oftenly bringing their troubles to the dojo (whatever it is, not necesarily with boyfriends) also Ive seen many times girls saying "I love you" or whatever to their boyfriends in taiatari, and of course recieving a hiki men for opening their guards hence more trouble "why did you hit me?? -I was saying I love you..." all that sort of things could be very VERY annoying for EVERYONE.
Ive also noticed that for girls its very important who is in the dojo. Ive heard like a million times "I dont go to train becouse there is this and this person that I dislike them so it generates a bad vibe in the dojo thats why I dont go..." for guys things like that are less than unimportant... I think that both of us have to be patient with each other, I think that boys and girls have a completely different approach to martial arts or sports in general (including getting injured, sweating, and stuff like that) that we both have to respect...

[JCM]

Don't know man, a few blanket statements there....

Couples CAN train together, there is a married couple in the Dojo (both senior), they just keep training like everyone else, same in gikeiko. if anything, they seem to communicate more openly with each other about technique and what not. And certianly there are other couples I know of that seem to be doing quite well at other Dojos (bobdonny, wink, wink)

To the point of brining sentimental stuff in, I will have to disagree with you too, the girls here just train, listen and then train some more, their attitude is exactly the same as the blokes (as I would expect anyway). if anything they are more likely to listen than the guys. I heard a Sensei make a comment about this not too long ago.

I think we are more likely to be bitchy than the girls tbh.....

It could also be that we are spoiled having the best darn lady Kendoka at our Dojo, who are fantastic, but I doubt we are an exception.

[Alison2805]

it could be a cultural difference I think! It depends where you go as to how people of different genders view things like appropriate behaviour in places like a dojo. Ive seen some pretty wild variations in some of the places Ive travelled.
If I get to train with you Inner, you wont get in trouble for hiki-men - you just wont get a chance to hit it first - haHA!!

[Tsunemori]

I have two Kendoka friends who pretty much hooked up recently. As far as I know they're doing super great, despite one being one grade higher than the other.

Personally speaking, I think people should get their priorities right. Sure, you might be all lovey and caring and stuff, but when you're inside the dojo, you're there for Kendo, not for playing around with your bf/gf. I'd like to think that I'd try my best regardless of who I'm fighting. I mean I'd be very disappointed if my partner holds back simply because they "like" me or something.

Between mokuso and mokuso, I just do what I'm there to do. It's quite well known that I'm an absolutely different person outside the dojo.

[James]

... You put your gi on, you bow in, and it's not a matter of boy/girl anymore.

And what are all you boys doing in the Women's Forum anyways? .. they might not be otherwise comfortable sharing in front of the whole community. it.

Is it just me that finds these comments contradictory?

What issues concerning kendo/practice etc. (this is a kendo forum right?) could you not be able to discuss with your fellow kendoka based on their gender?

If there are issues that you feel uncomfortable about then surely a way forward is to encourage understanding in the whole community.

There are PM functions and a slew of other ways to talk privately.
In an open, text based forum, globally accessible, expecting men to not get involved because it is labelled 'Women's Forum' would be highly illogic.... oh no, I've gone to far.....'

[tad]

on the men-women no difference thing. that's just not true. for one thing, especially with relative beginners, you just can't treat women and men the same. you just can't.

my wife and I both do kendo. she's got her 3-dan right when I got my 4-dan. we're pretty competitive but we also support each other a lot. it works out because kendo practice is also time we spend together. there are other couples in my dojo and it's no big deal. we can also be critical of each other, and she'll give me more criticism than she will any other sempai.

[Inner_Silence]

it could be a cultural difference I think! It depends where you go as to how people of different genders view things like appropriate behaviour in places like a dojo. Ive seen some pretty wild variations in some of the places Ive travelled.
If I get to train with you Inner, you wont get in trouble for hiki-men - you just wont get a chance to hit it first - haHA!!

HA! you wanna bet??!

[Inner_Silence]

beksides
you said "if" you should have said "when"

[Alison2805]

we will see my friend - when I get to Chile it will be the battle of the century!!!

Seriously though, dont kick my ass TOO badly, ok?

[Inner_Silence]

youll enjoy the dark side!!!

[Paburo]

i love you in tsuba zeriai? lol. im cracking up... girls always fight dirty!! haha.
just kiddingggggggggg girls :P

&q