The Seven Smutty Samurai Chat Thread

[SmellsLikeBogu]

SmellsLikeBogu (http://www.kendo-world.com/forum/member.php?u=8021)
Bunnies Can't do kendo



Try this one http://usagiyojimbo.com/index.html (http://usagiyojimbo.com/index.html)

May not be kendo but it is a bunny with a sword, deadly combination.

He is even beeter going after ninjas because with all the carrots he eats he can see in the dark, they will have no place to hide.


David

thats not a bunny, thats a hare :p

[Spendius]

thats not a bunny, thats a hare :p

Indeed ! Bunnies don't need swords for a very good reason

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg

[SmellsLikeBogu]

now thats classic! bring on the monty python quotes :p

[Awooga Guy]

Yakyakyak! :)

Good smut everyone :)






That is all.

[SmellsLikeBogu]

looking for something long and slender that squirts ink?
visit
www.PenisLand.net

[Webalistic]

Oh, but there are lot more of those (http://easywebbers.com/2006/12/10/top-ten-worst-domain-names)!

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Oh, but there are lot more of those (http://easywebbers.com/2006/12/10/top-ten-worst-domain-names)!

aaww I was just about to post more of em :)
www.cummingfirst.com

the powergenitalia is pretty smutty too :D

[Webalistic]

Sorry about that... :p
but as sensei always says: don't offer a suki to your opponents, continue! don't stop!

[rottunpunk]

aside from the bunny theme
the smut i found at the seminar in scotland on the weekend
tis the door to the ladies at the community centre we were training at
http://img104.imageshack.us/img104/7218/imag0084xr4.th.jpg (http://img104.imageshack.us/my.php?image=imag0084xr4.jpg)

also not smut im afraid
but we broked down on the way home
check out the funky pickup truck (bad pic quality-sorry)
http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/4706/imag0085gh9.jpg


:p

[SmellsLikeBogu]

getting quiet in here? got bored so I made us a little something

http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/7877/kittensmutta0.jpg

[Awooga Guy]

Yakyakyak! :D Not bad, not bad at all.






That is all.

[Awooga Guy]

This isn't smutty but it is awesome - Shaun the Sheep...

Episode 1: Off the Baa! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lc_78x36lJM&mode=related&search=)
Episode 2: Bathtime (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhcahz3kAGY&mode=related&search=)
Episode 3: Shape up with Shaun (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERH0E-tQJ3M)
Episode 4: Timmy in a Tizzy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A953nxm9Iw)

Awooga Guy hopes ewe like! :)





That is all.

[Spendius]

Can you see the light ?

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/8569/lampkg4.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Spendius]

hooking
nouna golf shot that curves to the left for a right-handed golfer; "he took lessons to cure his hooking" [syn: hook (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hook)]

http://biancamaria.free.fr/fumez/mars07/090307/07.jpg

[lucy]

http://biancamaria.free.fr/fumez/mars07/090307/07.jpg

Nice... I was in a place near Rome, Italy, once, called Castelfusano, where one of those signs could certainly help reduce the number of condomes lying around... :D

edit: The other link doesn't work for me, though. (in post 1513)

[ScottUK]

The other link doesn't work for me, though. (in post 1513)http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/8569/lampkg4.jpg

[Awooga Guy]

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/8569/lampkg4.jpg

Brilliant. Just Brilliant :)

That's one of the best bits of smut we've had so far. Kudos to Spendius there.





That is all.

[SmellsLikeBogu]

I could post tons from engrish.com but I dont wanna take credit, you'll have to discover for yourself

anyways, this looks like a nice place:
http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/tittyboo.jpg

and some haircut commercial:
http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=happiness.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2003-10-29

[Walter Wino]

I know you, Tokyo travelling guys, will love this site!
Free room, with full service. What else you can ask for?
Anyone visited this ryokan before?

http://www.keikos-homepage.jp/funtime.htm

:silly:

[rottunpunk]

http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/8569/lampkg4.jpg
wow blingblingsmutt
nice find dude
i got me a book on adult origami
unfortunately i cant make it scan properly
so ill try taking photos or something in the daylight hours for you
it really is a grand book if anyone wants a copy, though the writer steals much from rogers profanisaurus :D
:p

[Kenzan]

Some recent smut from a radio show in the U.K.
This p0wns!

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3e0_1173614039

My new phrase of the week:

"You're a dirty little tart!"

ahahahahah!
:D :D

[Webalistic]

Free room, with full service. What else you can ask for?
http://www.keikos-homepage.jp/funtime.htm

Ah... so that's wat you people refer to when you talk about 'doing' Keiko in Japan... :D

Shame she isn't into the ugly bearded types :wink:

[kartoffelngeist]

I know you, Tokyo travelling guys, will love this site!
Free room, with full service. What else you can ask for?
Anyone visited this ryokan before?

http://www.keikos-homepage.jp/funtime.htm

:silly:

Off to Tokyo then!

[Awooga Guy]

Off to Tokyo then!

http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/6941/itsatrapmt1.jpg





That is all.

[xvikingx]

http://www.keikos-homepage.jp/funtime.htm

DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN

I was right there at a seminar only two weeks ago. I bought a beer in that 7/11 before heading back to the station.

[ScottUK]

Hehe maybe we should go up to Tokyo instead of Kyoto, eh Leiv...? :)

[xvikingx]

Hehe maybe we should go up to Tokyo instead of Kyoto, eh Leiv...? :)

All in the name of research of course.

[SmellsLikeBogu]

then you find out she has a penis!

[ScottUK]

Awesome.

(the comment, not the possibility of... ah forget it...)

[Kenzan]

http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/6941/itsatrapmt1.jpg
That is all.

Damn Skippy.
If the Bee is giving an all you can eat Honey buffet for free, you best believe she's working for the Spider.

Ain't NOTHIN' in this world for free.
Besides, would you really want to dip your wick with someone who advertises a free-for-all shank-fest on them thar intarwebs?

Eewww. That's some funkeh week-old Sushi methinks.

[Hisham]

Ninjeritsu at its best, behold the ninjette (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v373/Arcerion/femaleninjas.jpg).

[rottunpunk]

the link wont work for me
ill try again later, it may just be my compuitor

anyways, how did you get a picture of me. i am :ninja:er
:p

[Decado]

the link wont work for me
ill try again later, it may just be my compuitor

anyways, how did you get a picture of me. i am :ninja:er
:p

Wow! Is that you Rottunpunk? I might come to that seminar after all even if it's not my style.

Funny, Scott and Sam described you rather differently :grin:

[satsumaruma]

WOW.

If that is you Debz I am taking up Ninjering.

[Hisham]

Funny, Scott and Sam described you rather differently :grin:

Illusion is one of the ninjettes' favorite powers.:paranoid: :calm:

[Spendius]

Smut mine:
http://www.2m3.net/lien-externe-3988-The_accidental_video_game_porn_archive.html
and some samples:
http://www.derekyu.com/avgpa/images/bloodstorm.jpg
http://www.derekyu.com/avgpa/images/farcry.jpg
http://www.derekyu.com/avgpa/images/zelda3.gif
http://www.derekyu.com/avgpa/images/moonwalker.gif
http://www.derekyu.com/avgpa/images/ninjawarriors.gif
http://www.derekyu.com/avgpa/images/ringking.gif

[rottunpunk]

Wow! Is that you Rottunpunk?
Funny, Scott and Sam described you rather differently :grin:

oh wait the picture working now
no thats not me sorry
i wear a watch on my left wrist not my right wrist:D

and how exactly was i described...:ermm:

youve been busy then spendius :D
:p

[Decado]

oh wait the picture working now
no thats not me sorry
i wear a watch on my left wrist not my right wrist:D

and how exactly was i described...:ermm:

youve been busy then spendius :D
:p

Damn, and here I was, all hopeful. A watch on the right wrist is soooooo sexy!

How were you described? Errrrm, like, er, well, sort of, well, as they said when they were talking about you, in a manner of speaking, and without prejudice, and it was just a passing conversation anyway between kata, but what they said was [edit time up]

[Decado]

oh wait the picture working now
no thats not me sorry
i wear a watch on my left wrist not my right wrist:D

and how exactly was i described...:ermm:

youve been busy then spendius :D
:p

and that was all they said really. So you see, no need to worry :happy:

[rottunpunk]

this weeks email funny
sorry abou the arrers, i cant be arsed deleting them all

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had
never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
> >
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her
quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she
> > prepared
> > tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister
> > noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled
> > with
> > water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she
> > returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried
to
> > stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange
floater,
> > but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist.
> > "Miss
> > Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?"
> > pointing
> > to the bowl.
> >
> >
> > "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through
> > the
> > park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
> > The
> > directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it
would
prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all
winter?"
:p

[Decado]

this weeks email funny
sorry abou the arrers, i cant be arsed deleting them all

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had
never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
> >
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her
quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she
> > prepared
> > tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister
> > noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled
> > with
> > water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she
> > returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried
to
> > stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange
floater,
> > but soon it got the better of him and He could no longer resist.
> > "Miss
> > Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?"
> > pointing
> > to the bowl.
> >
> >
> > "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through
> > the
> > park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
> > The
> > directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it
would
prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all
winter?"
:p

Funnily enough, neither have I!

[The great I AM]

A drunk had been at a pub all night. At last call, the drunk stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time, to the same result.
He figured he'd crawl outside to get some fresh air, since maybe that would sober him up. Once outside, he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the four blocks to his house.

When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face.

He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.

This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep the second his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning by his wife shouting, "So you've been out drinking again, have you?!"

"No! What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on his best innocent expression.

"The pub called... you forgot your wheelchair again

[Awooga Guy]

What traffic signs really mean (http://clubaristo.co.uk/forum/files/the_real_meaning_of_traffic_signs_179.jpg)

Yakyakyak! :D






That is all.

[Hisham]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: , brilliant.

I'm out of rep but thanks for the great laugh.

[Lounge]

Spendious, awesome link computer game smut :) Did anyone else hurt themselves laughing that the last picture was from a game called 'ring king'?

[Awooga Guy]

Arf :)

(Nice to see you back old chap :) )




That is all.

[rottunpunk]

too true
the zelda one was my favourite though

excellent signs awooga
can i use them as answers to my driving test next time i take it?

indeedy welcome back loungey
it has been a whie
i likes your new avatar
:p

[Awooga Guy]

Of course :) Awooga Guy recommends you print them all onto a sheet of A4 and give it to your examiner - guaranteed pass.

All advice comes without warranty, implied or otherwise.






That is all.

[Hisham]

Yeah you do what Awooga guy said but don't include the ones from the stop sign, you know to keep it positive :wink:

[Lounge]

I am baaaaaack... kind of! In the spirit of the thread I'm communicating with you via my wee... hang on that's Wii! can't post links at the mo :( This has got a little weak so... I got pulled into an "interesting" chat at work, alternative names for a certain sexual act, top three so far:
taking a stroll down cadbury avenue
parking in the caramac cul-de-sac
and my fave so far
going down to brown town

All suggestions welcome... I want to beat the others and budo power must prevail!

To explain I work at an engineering company so it's all very ladish!

[Decado]

I am baaaaaack... kind of! In the spirit of the thread I'm communicating with you via my wee... hang on that's Wii! can't post links at the mo :( This has got a little weak so... I got pulled into an "interesting" chat at work, alternative names for a certain sexual act, top three so far:
taking a stroll down cadbury avenue
parking in the caramac cul-de-sac
and my fave so far
going down to brown town

All suggestions welcome... I want to beat the others and budo power must prevail!

To explain I work at an engineering company so it's all very ladish!

poking the chocolate starfish

back passge to india (or is that a film?)

[SmellsLikeBogu]

good friends use the backdoor

[Spendius]

"Wanna take a walk in the park, sweetie ?" :eek:

http://img355.imageshack.us/img355/1874/stateparkvx7.jpg

[Aries]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcHyY9poq4w&mode=related&search=

[rottunpunk]

hehe. the wonerful life of an engineer in his office
how about;
''going through the fudge tunnel''
''going in the out door''
''being an accessory to backdoor burglary'' etc
:p

[SmellsLikeBogu]

some more tiny smut:

http://bridgetthemidget.com/home.html

[Dervish]

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e271/tsdhack/1173277998-1172334828057.jpg

[rottunpunk]

hehe :D

Subject: FW: Tesco's new service


One day, leaning on the bar, Jack says to Mike "My elbow hurts like
hell. I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!"
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike
replies.
"There's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy. Just give
it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and
what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a
lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Club card points."
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for
the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten
seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:-
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some
tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife
and daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the mixture for good
measure. Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would
happen.
He deposited five pounds, poured in his concoction, and awaited
the results.

The computer printed the following:-
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet.
3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Tesco
:p

[Awooga Guy]

Hur hur, arf :)

http://www.shoutfile.com/v/KEQ0aUyH/Worst_Female_Driver_Ever

Note the stall at the beginning, but to then roll it too... wow. Awooga Guy is in awe.





That is all.

[Obukan_dude]

Hur hur, arf :)

http://www.shoutfile.com/v/KEQ0aUyH/Worst_Female_Driver_Ever

Note the stall at the beginning, but to then roll it too... wow. Awooga Guy is in awe.





That is all.

I have nothing more to say than this: WOW.:scared:

[rottunpunk]

arg, this thread was nearly going to fall off onto page two
so heres todays searches for smut on ebay
im seriously considering getting the comic which looks like what the beano used to be like, though on second thoughts its just cartoon porn, a bit like anime but...not... http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/SMUT-COMIC-FIRST-ISSUE-2-COPIES-WOOOOOOOOOW_W0QQitemZ160106883010QQihZ006QQcategor yZ50183QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Helmet-Biscuits-For-Smut-CDEP-1994_W0QQitemZ290105866231QQihZ019QQcategoryZ43633 QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem the cd

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/MAC-eyeshadow-SMUT_W0QQitemZ120110593060QQihZ002QQcategoryZ11866 QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem :confused:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/SMUT-BLOOD-SMUT-AND-TEARS-CD-ULTRA-RARE-1994-CD_W0QQitemZ130103131320QQihZ003QQcategoryZ1572QQs sPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem another cd

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/SMUT-PEDDLERS-Porn-Again-CD-SEALED-NEW_W0QQitemZ250101262694QQihZ015QQcategoryZ58601Q QssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem yet more smutty toonz innit
:p

[ScottUK]

Mr. Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker. It was After Eight.

She was from Quality Street; he was a Fisherman's Friend. On the way, they stopped at a Yorkie bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum..

He asked her name, 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said. I'm the one with the nuts' he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked in, and went straight to the bedroom. Mr. Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic.

It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic-Tacs.

Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any more Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard.

He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a Magic Moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight.

When he pulled out, his fun size Mars bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, he needed Time Out.

He noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetising. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, Mr. Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel.

Sadly he was soon to discover he had VD. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with All Sorts!

[Awooga Guy]

Amazing scenes...

Awooga Guy is in awe Scott. 10/10 for the first time in the history of KWF :D






That is all.

[kartoffelngeist]

If you wrote that, you're a genius among men...

[ScottUK]

Awooga Guy is in awe Scott. 10/10 for the first time in the history of KWF :DHehe I am honoured to have shared such a wonderful post.


If you wrote that, you're a genius among men...I didn't, and I am, but not for this post... :D

[Awooga Guy]

Yak yak yak! :D (http://www.bangedup.com/bu_posts/IratiopornatoHbAB4.jpg)






That is all.

[rottunpunk]

pure geniousness scott, even though you didnt make it up it was wonderful for you to share it with us

thats a verymathematical looking graph there awooga, good find too
:p

[ScottUK]

From email:

"I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot* in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned.

I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??"

* Winalot is a type of dog food here for you non-UK heathens. :)

[SmellsLikeBogu]

damn scott. If that would've been a true story, I'd worhsip you in every way possible.

But its not. :p

[shred_lord]

http://themot.org/gallery/v/Comics/ninjabirth.gif.html

Warning. Some of later pics on the site are NSFW

[ScottUK]

<--- flicks forward to later pics... :)

[shred_lord]

Safe for work but tickles me pink.. er I mean red.... a very manly red.http://themot.org/gallery/v/Comics/Apocalypse.jpg.html


Not smut but DAMN!!!http://themot.org/gallery/v/Comics/tmntcostume.jpg.html

[shred_lord]

http://www.arrogantics.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/erection.jpg

[SmellsLikeBogu]

omg ... this was already halfway the second page! noooooo

here's some more smut:
http://photos.tr0lled.com/gallery/v/15991637_cfe815.jpg.html

http://files.redvsblue.com/web/images/comic/RT_Comic_Ep102_Dine.jpg

http://www.photopumpkin.com/wp-content/uploads/women_funny1.jpg

[theicychameleon]

Jesus! I sorta skipped over that NSFW bit and found one near the beginning entitled Lisa -censored- Homer. Who comes up with this stuff. I'm liking the godman one. :D

[SmellsLikeBogu]

bleh. Has smut gone out of fasion? Is everyone out there being emo these days?

subcultures. strange thing. Yes Im bored so here's a rant from the top of my head :)
so where was I? subcultures. Emo kids, hardcore kids, etc... You know you're getting a bit older when you start looking at these things more objectivly. Perhaps the older guys are just a subculture by themselves, but we wont realise until after, when we've transended to another.
Transending, kinda like lvling up. I wonder what the highest reachable level is? the ultimate subculture, enlightment if you will.
I dont know. Im not sure if I even want to know. Its all about the journey I guess. Damn my journey sucks right now, I need a destination to look forward to. I hope Im not sounding emo now.
So the ultimate subculture, if I were to make a guess, It would be the old dirty bastard subculture. The guys that thrive on smut. the guys that eat baby smut for breakfast. those that breathe the smut, those that simply radiate Smuttness. It probably wont be the ultimate, but from my current subculture's point of view. it does look nice.
oh well another meaningless post in an ancient thread.
Dont let the smut die. Its to lovely to disappear

[Spendius]

Yeah this 1500+ posts thread is slowly dying. Let's mobilize !

http://img371.imageshack.us/img371/8942/dykestb6.jpg

http://img371.imageshack.us/img371/164/washuc7.jpg

And these should be a warning to all vigilantes wanabees (nudge nudge)

http://img291.imageshack.us/img291/148/toxicvk9.jpg

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/7177/spideyfa9.jpg

[Awooga Guy]

Yak yak yak! :) Great stuff. Awooga Guy will post some new smut very soon...






That is all.

[ScottUK]

But ScottUK will beat you to it... :D

Sign outside a theatre in Osaka (http://www.daedalusdesign.co.uk/utilities/sign.jpg)

[Kenzan]

If you see a faded sign by the Osaka hotel that says
15 km to the... love Flap! Love Flap yeah
I'm headin' down the Shinsaibashi-suji,
lookin' for the Ruv getaway
Heading for the love getaway, love getaway,
I got me Shiba-inu, it as big as a canned whale
and we're headin' on down
To the Ruv Frap
I got me a Honda, it seats about 2
So hayaku and bring your soap-land money!

The Ruv Frap is a chisai old place
where we can get together (by the hour)
Love Frap baby, Ruv Frap bay-bee.
Love baby, that's where it's at,
Oi love baby, that's where it's at

Sign says.. Moo... stay away fool,
'cause love rules at the Ru-u-uv Frap!
Well it's set way back in the middle of a rice-field,
Just a funky old Frap and I gotta get back

Glitter on the mattress
Glitter on the highway
Glitter on the temple
Glitter in the Onsen

The Love Flap is a chisai old place
where we can get together
Love Flap bay-bee! Love Flap baby!
Love Flap, that's where it's at!
Huggin' and a kissin', dancin', bukkake!,
wearin' next to nothing
Cause it's muggy as an oven
The whole Frap shimmies!
The whole Frap shimmies when everybody's
Movin' around and around and around and around and being filmed!
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby!
Folks rinin' up outside just to get down
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby baaadly dancin'
Funky ritto frap! Funk-y rittlo frap!

Hop in my Mitsubishi,
tasty as a big whale!
and it's about to set sail!
I got me a car, it seats about 1.6
So c'mon and bring your vending machine money!

The Love Flap is a little old place
where we can get together
ruv frap baby! ruv Frap bay-bee!
(Love Flap...Love Flap...)
Love Flap, that's where it's at!

Bang bang bang on the shoji baby!
Knock a little louder baby!(oops it ripped)
Bang bang bang on the door baby!
I can't hear you (but everyone else can!)
Bang bang on the mado baby
Pyon pyon on the door
Bang bang on the door baby
Don Don
You're what?.....Tiled roof, busted!

Love Shack, baby Love Shack!
Love Flap, baby Love Flap!
Love baby, that's where it's at
Love Flap, baby Love Flap!
Love baby, that's where it's at
Huggin' and a pissin',
dancin' and a ruv' at the love frap...

:D

[ScottUK]

Kenz, sometimes you're a twat, and sometimes you're a genuis. Today you get +rep... :D

[KhawMengLee]

Japan has the best baseball players... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9-9c2pV5Eo)

[Kenzan]

Kenz, sometimes you're a twat, and sometimes you're a genuis. Today you get +rep... :D

That's me:

I'm twateracious in my twaterdom.

In fact, I'm Be-dazzlingly Twateriffic!
:D

[theicychameleon]

Apparently I've got to spread some rep around before giving it to you again :( How long does that last for by the way?

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Apparently I've got to spread some rep around before giving it to you again :( How long does that last for by the way?

same problem here :) I think you have to give rep to some other people before you can give any to the same person again.

[kartoffelngeist]

Kenz, sometimes you're a twat, and sometimes you're a genuis.

That seems to pretty much sum up Kenzan for me. ;)

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Yak yak yak! :) Great stuff. Awooga Guy will post some new smut very soon...






That is all.

is it very soon yet?

[SmellsLikeBogu]

I already posted this in the video thread, but I thought it deserved some smut-recognition.
Click My TRalalaa (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAHCIv_xktU)

[Spendius]

Not of the best taste I'm afraid

http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/7879/hairsv2.jpg

http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/5452/skiea6.jpg

http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6360/pumpkinqb3.jpg (this one reminds me of Jarmush's Night on Earth)

[SmellsLikeBogu]

ok my apologies. Credit goes to Sparv. I didnt noticed he posted that first

[Awooga Guy]

http://img225.imageshack.us/my.php?image=queen3pobq5.jpg

:D






That is all.

[SmellsLikeBogu]

http://img225.imageshack.us/my.php?image=queen3pobq5.jpg


Im guessing its been a while since her moist has been vaporized. Or is that inapropriate? :p

[ScottUK]

Next time I bump into HRH at a garden party, I'll recommend an invasion of Belgium. :devious:

[rottunpunk]

genius photo awooga


>>Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office......but she
>belonged
>>to someone else. One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her
>>and said, "I'll give you a £100 if you let me have sex with you."
>>
>>The girl said, " NO." Johnny said, "I'll be fast, I'll throw the money
>on
>>the floor, You bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it
>up"
>>
>>She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her
>>boyfriend. She called her boyfriend and told him the story The boyfriend
>>said, "Ask him for £200, then pick up the money very fast. He won't even
>be
>>able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepted the proposal. Half
>an
>>hour went by and the boyfriend was waiting for his girlfriend to call.
>>Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend called and asked what
>happened......
>>She said, "The bastard used Pennies!"
>>
>>Management Lesson : Always consider a business proposal in its entirety
>>before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
:p

[Obukan_dude]

Not smuty, but still kinda funny. (http://a654.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/16/l_34cbf0f6b1215bd9dabc08aaefa2544d.jpg);)

[rottunpunk]

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2024233002
:D
:p

[Fred27]

Now who says IKEA is boring? http://edenworld.ath.cx/wordpress/wp-content/photos/Ikea.jpg

[rottunpunk]

hurhur :D
you crazy europeans
i dont think the ikeas here sell those ones
:p

[bullet08]

just something i found.. nothing to do with kendo..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR1EkJ4Wxac

it was funny.

pete

[rottunpunk]

that was quite frightening
her face looked all plasticy
do you think she was wearing a bikini just to try and get a date with a scotsman? :D
:p

[bullet08]

that was quite frightening
her face looked all plasticy
do you think she was wearing a bikini just to try and get a date with a scotsman? :D
:p

i think she has crush on robert burns.. and didn't realize that he was dead.

pete

[Fred27]

hurhur :D
you crazy europeans
i dont think the ikeas here sell those ones
:p

They dont here either..I called them and asked...they refused to talk to me and hung up the phone. :confused:

[ScottUK]

Pete's Story as Written by Pete

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them.

Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Pete. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Sandy. When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Sandy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Sandy. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed,

Pete




EDITOR'S NOTE:

Pete died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his anus, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Sandy was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defence that Pete somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club very quickly.

[Spendius]

Still hoping to find a kendo related anime, I found this:
http://members.autobahn.mb.ca/~glenap/kendo.jpg

[Paburo]

just something i found.. nothing to do with kendo..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sR1EkJ4Wxac

it was funny.

pete

she sucks... at least i hope she's better at blowing the other type of bagpipe i mentioned in the other post... ahem....

[Lady_Kitsune]

Language Paburo!!! There is some ladies here :p

That was funny anyway, my God she really sucks

[Paburo]

my God she really sucks said the proud ryu member of the 7 smutty wimmin samuraiettes.... well, in a way it's not so bad if she could really... ahem... nevermind :P

but you're probably right... i should stay as far and away as possible from this thread... i'm way too naughty, cheeky, kinky and sexxxy (a smutty master rônin if you may) and things just might get out of hand! haha.

[Spendius]

That's me:

I'm twateracious in my twaterdom.

In fact, I'm Be-dazzlingly Twateriffic!
:D

Kenzan, you're from Glendale ! Say no more, nudge nudge ! :p

[shred_lord]

Absolute Genius (http://www.influks.com/post739.html)

[Spendius]

Absolute Genius (http://www.influks.com/post739.html)

Brilliant... (You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to shred_lord again.)

[Spendius]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pussy%2C_France

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twatt%2C_Shetland

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thong%2C_England

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wank%2C_Bavaria

[Lady_Kitsune]

said the proud ryu member of the 7 smutty wimmin samuraiettes.... well, in a way it's not so bad if she could really... ahem... nevermind :P

but you're probably right... i should stay as far and away as possible from this thread... i'm way too naughty, cheeky, kinky and sexxxy (a smutty master rônin if you may) and things just might get out of hand! haha.


Probably she sucks at that too... But well, who knows I never saw her doing that

[Fred27]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking





On wikipedia, the photo-caption:
"The frequently stolen traffic sign,[1] at the entrance to the village of Fucking."

I'd looove to get my hands on one of those signs. :)

[Spendius]

Japanese Halloween costumes. Check especially the tanuki and the giraffe.
http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=1209

[shred_lord]

http://corey.spring.googlepages.com/wagt.jpg

Classic! :)

[Awooga Guy]

Good smut folks :)






That is all.

[Awooga Guy]

Oh by the way, this isn't really smut but still...

Awooga Guy has no secrets with his friends on KWF. So in the spirit of that, have a look at this on board footage of the new Awoogamobile racing around Brands Hatch race track, here in sunny ol' England.

Linky: http://www.youtube.com/AwoogaGuy

See what you think :) Awooga Guy is driving, commentary is by Awooga Guy's friend, Gra.

The Awoogamobile was fine after a whole day of being thrashed, but the front left tyre is somewhat melted... :)





That is all.

[rottunpunk]

lookslike you had fun
how fast did awoogamobile get upto?
kevlar wheels is what you want. and fluffy pink dice.
:p

[Decado]

hurhur :D
you crazy europeans
i dont think the ikeas here sell those ones
:p

What! You've never been to the Ikea at Junction 10 of the M6 - just outside Walsall? Next time you come down for kenjutsu - have a look! Bedroom section I think - or was it the kitchen section?

[Decado]

that was quite frightening
her face looked all plasticy
do you think she was wearing a bikini just to try and get a date with a scotsman? :D
:p

Surely she cannot be that desperate! :D

[rottunpunk]

are you getting that mixed up with the adult shop again decado?
what will you parents think when you next take them shopping for a new 3 piece suite? :D
:p

[Awooga Guy]

lookslike you had fun
how fast did awoogamobile get upto?
kevlar wheels is what you want. and fluffy pink dice.
:p



Hmmm Brands Hatch's start/finish straight aint that long, so top speed was only about 95-100mph, however that leads straight into Paddock Hill Bend which is a huuuge downhill right hander that leads into Druids hairpin. Taking that bend is like riding a rollecoaster downhill :)

Fluffy pink dice would have looked interesting in the Awoogamobile, they would have been twirling around :) Next time Awooga Guy will rotate the front tyres so it's the other one that get's fuxx0red. :eek:






That is all.

[Decado]

Language Paburo!!! There is some ladies here :p

That was funny anyway, my God she really sucks

I think you have to blow a lot to play the bagpipes - which leads us back to a previous post.

PS My Scottish friends tell me it's good pratise for the ladies to do the bagpipes - but I'm not sure what they are alluding to as I'm far too young and innocent.:grin:

[ScottUK]

Awoog, who is Gra (the co-pilot)?

[Decado]

are you getting that mixed up with the adult shop again decado?
what will you parents think when you next take them shopping for a new 3 piece suite? :D
:p

Damn! You must have seen me go into that shop when you came down the other week! Now you know why I couldn't really go along to the keiko at Heijoshin.

Funnily enough, my parents do sometimes ask why the sofa moves in that funny way.

[Awooga Guy]

Awoog, who is Gra (the co-pilot)?

Ah, you haven't met Gra yet. He's one of Awooga Guy's old muckers. Twice as big as Awooga Guy in every direction, he's also one of Awooga Guy's team mates for the Student Gumball Rally this year. Woohoo :)





That is all.

[rottunpunk]

wew will have to meet gra.
disciple him into the awooga fold or something

touche decado :D

some wholesome smut for ya: pussy eating a large sausage
http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/9676/imag0021pd0.th.jpg (http://img117.imageshack.us/my.php?image=imag0021pd0.jpg)
:p

[Fred27]

wew will have to meet gra.
disciple him into the awooga fold or something

touche decado :D

some wholesome smut for ya: pussy eating a large sausage
http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/9676/imag0021pd0.th.jpg (http://img117.imageshack.us/my.php?image=imag0021pd0.jpg)
:p

Haha! Excellent! (http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p236/TempDude27/excellent-1.jpg)

and to add to that: A photo that both insults AND entices (http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p236/TempDude27/Up20Yours.jpg) in a fairly smutty way.

[Decado]

wew will have to meet gra.
disciple him into the awooga fold or something

touche decado :D

some wholesome smut for ya: pussy eating a large sausage
http://img117.imageshack.us/img117/9676/imag0021pd0.th.jpg (http://img117.imageshack.us/my.php?image=imag0021pd0.jpg)
:p

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to rottunpunk again."

What! Again! Damn!

[rottunpunk]

aye you always have to spread alot around before you can give anymore of it on here
:p

[Decado]

aye you always have to spread alot around before you can give anymore of it on here
:p

I spread it around lots!

[Awooga Guy]

Arf :)






That is all.

[SmellsLikeBogu]

ah the gods of smut have smiled upon us :) after a few days of absence, I come back to find heaps of it :D big thanks :)

We all arrive at the end, no matter what direction we choose (http://www.comedy-zone.net/pictures/images/naughty/rude020.jpg)

[Fred27]

The new FireFox logo:

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p236/TempDude27/4241_image.jpg

[Fred27]

To continue on that note: "Wang", as in China, was the word for "King".


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pussy%2C_France

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twatt%2C_Shetland

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thong%2C_England

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wank%2C_Bavaria

[Decado]

To continue on that note: "Wang", as in China, was the word for "King".

The computer firm, Wang, was originally going to call one of its mainframes the Wang King but for some obscure reason decided not to.

The computer firm, Siemens, has (or did have) an office in Staines, England. When picking up the phone to outside calls people used to answer, "Siemens, Staines", to distinguish it from other Siemens offices. Pass the bleach someone.

And just to clear up something there was no Seaman Stains, Master Bates or Roger the Cabinboy in Captain Pugwash. But there was a programme called Noggin the Nog (although what a Nog was and how you Nogged it I'm not sure :ditsy: ).

[Fred27]

The computer firm, Wang, was originally going to call one of its mainframes the Wang King but for some obscure reason decided not to.

The computer firm, Siemens, has (or did have) an office in Staines, England. When picking up the phone to outside calls people used to answer, "Siemens, Staines", to distinguish it from other Siemens offices. Pass the bleach someone.

And just to clear up something there was no Seaman Stains, Master Bates or Roger the Cabinboy in Captain Pugwash. But there was a programme called Noggin the Nog (although what a Nog was and how you Nogged it I'm not sure :ditsy: ).

haha! priceless!

[Awooga Guy]

The computer firm, Wang, was originally going to call one of its mainframes the Wang King but for some obscure reason decided not to.

The computer firm, Siemens, has (or did have) an office in Staines, England. When picking up the phone to outside calls people used to answer, "Siemens, Staines", to distinguish it from other Siemens offices. Pass the bleach someone.

And just to clear up something there was no Seaman Stains, Master Bates or Roger the Cabinboy in Captain Pugwash. But there was a programme called Noggin the Nog (although what a Nog was and how you Nogged it I'm not sure :ditsy: ).

Superb post :)





That is all.

[Decado]

Just heard this on the news!

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa003&articleID=B0A942D4-E7F2-99DF-32671E1E3371149B&ref=rss

So just take a viagra pill before boarding your long haul flight - and whatever you do don't think of that nice attractive person in the aisle opposite (or hamsters). Or wear loose trousers!

Stewardess as you get off the plane "Looks like YOU had a good flight sir!"

Customs "Are you trying to smuggle in something down your trousers or are you just pleased to see me?"

Immigration "Are you here for business or ......, oh, I can see you are here for pleasure sir!"

'Nuff said!

[Drew]

'Nuff said'.

If I'm not mistaken this is what you used to find at the end of certain 'editorials' in Marvel Comics (correct me if I'm wrong my fellow old people).

When I read this as a kid of tender years and English upbringing I simply believed that there was some all knowing, omnipresent, oracle called Nuff, and they were quoting him. :normal:

[Decado]

'Nuff said'.

If I'm not mistaken this is what you used to find at the end of certain 'editorials' in Marvel Comics (correct me if I'm wrong my fellow old people).

When I read this as a kid of tender years and English upbringing I simply believed that there was some all knowing, omnipresent, oracle called Nuff, and they were quoting him. :normal:

For some reason I used to think Nuff was some sort of Scandinavian Viking type person that they were quoting - no idea why. And you are right - Marvel Comics! Fond memories although the Spidey/F4/Daredevil/X-men films keep the memories alive. Yes, even at my age I watch them. :grin:

[ScottUK]

A warning for you and any of your friends who may be regular customers at Tesco.

Over the last month I became the victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get some shopping turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you!
Here's how the scam works.

Two seriously good looking 21 year old girls come over to your car as you are loading your stuff into the boot. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windowlene, with their cleavage almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say no and instead ask you for a lift to another shopping centre. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen on April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, May 2nd, 4th, three times on the 5th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy more wallets.

Please pass this message on to all the men you know to warn them about this scam!

[KhawMengLee]

A warning for you and any of your friends who may be regular customers at Tesco.

Over the last month I became the victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get some shopping turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you!
Here's how the scam works.

Two seriously good looking 21 year old girls come over to your car as you are loading your stuff into the boot. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windowlene, with their cleavage almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say no and instead ask you for a lift to another shopping centre. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen on April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, May 2nd, 4th, three times on the 5th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy more wallets.

Please pass this message on to all the men you know to warn them about this scam!

I foresee this problem ending as soon as the Fat Slags get in on the scam...nyaaaaaaaah!

[ScottUK]

Meng, you are too British for your own good! :)

For non-Brits (and non-Mengers), here are the Fat Slags (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_Slags). They really exist here.

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Meng, you are too British for your own good! :)

For non-Brits (and non-Mengers), here are the Fat Slags (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_Slags). They really exist here.

another hole in my culture filled up... I think this one was better off being a hole :p

[Fred27]

A warning for you and any of your friends who may be regular customers at Tesco.

Over the last month I became the victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get some shopping turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you!
Here's how the scam works.

Two seriously good looking 21 year old girls come over to your car as you are loading your stuff into the boot. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windowlene, with their cleavage almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say no and instead ask you for a lift to another shopping centre. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen on April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, May 2nd, 4th, three times on the 5th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy more wallets.

Please pass this message on to all the men you know to warn them about this scam!

What did Mrs. Scott think about yer little adventure? :tongue: :rolleyes:

And can you please give the scamettes my phone-number?

[Hisham]

I always thought that if i went to England, the highlight for me would be to watch a Liverpool/ManUnited game or an Arsenal/Chelsea one now after Scott's tale, that prerogative has changed for good unless there is a report of fat slags coruption.

[KhawMengLee]

I always thought that if i went to England, the highlight for me would be to watch...an Arsenal/Chelsea match...


If you really want a memorable trip, go to a Chelsea home match, wear the team jersey, run on the pitch, tear of the jersey and set it on fire...then pee all over it to put out the flames...

You then have:

30 seconds to laugh like a madman at the shocked faces of the home side and supporters before running into the loving arms of whatever coppers are there to save you from the riot you've just started.

:tongue:

[Sparv]

loving arms of whatever coppers are there to save you from the riot

And if the cops help the riotters?

[KhawMengLee]

And if the cops help the riotters?

Pick up the pee soaked jersey and threaten to slap the first geezer that comes near you with it...

[Dervish]

Break up letter in audio (silly) (http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/)

[kartoffelngeist]

Is this the voice of experience, Meng?

[KhawMengLee]

Is this the voice of experience, Meng?

Hehehe...its the dung beetle tactic. After rolling around in crap the whole day, very few things find the dung beetle appetizing...

Which is much better than the Stephen Fry approach when bullies used to beat him in school, which was to yell, "Oooo! Stop that! Its making my penis hard."

[Hisham]

If you really want a memorable trip, go to a Chelsea home match, wear the team jersey, run on the pitch, tear of the jersey and set it on fire...then pee all over it to put out the flames...

You then have:

30 seconds to laugh like a madman at the shocked faces of the home side and supporters before running into the loving arms of whatever coppers are there to save you from the riot you've just started.

:tongue:

Yeah that would make a good story to tell my grandchildren:ponder:................if i survive that is :nervous:, the thing is if i was to do it, i would torch the Arsenal jersey, actually it's the Real madrid one which would be perfect, FcBarcelona for life.

[Paburo]

i would torch the Arsenal jersey, actually it's the Real madrid one which would be perfect, FcBarcelona for life.
i will pretend i never ever read that comment! :D

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Nothing smutty about football discussions ...:disapp:

[Fred27]

Nothing smutty about football discussions ...:disapp:

Here ya go (http://farm1.static.flickr.com/70/189292040_bc540c77be.jpg) :) :D

And this (http://www.voetbalnext.nl/watermerk.php?image=cafefoto/21_origineel.jpg)

[Hisham]

i will pretend i never ever read that comment! :D

LOL, you have to see me and my father who's a Real Madrid fan watching El classico.

Back to the subject.

Nice way of harmonizing the subject of football with the smutt Fred.

[Paburo]

Nothing smutty about football discussions ...:disapp:
are you sure about that... my smellybogu friend? :D

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v23/blazeomatic/more%20more%20photos/afootkicks5tk.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v23/blazeomatic/more%20more%20photos/fightingfor7ca.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v23/blazeomatic/more%20more%20photos/pulling7py.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v23/blazeomatic/more%20more%20photos/liningupinformation9rm.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v23/blazeomatic/more%20more%20photos/liningupinformation9rm.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v23/blazeomatic/more%20more%20photos/infrontofmatch0kn.jpg

fred, you will also want to take a look at those.

hisham, your oldman knows best! :D


cheers!

[Hisham]

Smellslikebogu, we await your public apologies for saying that football is boring :mad:, two members have proved you wrong, actually it might be a good idea if everyone put some smutt related to his/her favorite sport.

To Paburo: You how a son has to sometimes be different from the father to express his own individuality....:cool2:
BTW nice find man

[Hisham]

sorry for the double post:
Forgot to put the "know" in :"
You ( ) how a son has to sometimes

[ScottUK]

it might be a good idea if everyone put some smutt related to his/her favorite sportI can't Google for nude volleyball while I am at work... :(

[Spendius]

How about this one: http://quebecblogue.com/videos/but-soccer-fille-tout-nu.mpg

[rottunpunk]

hehe
cricket is a marvellous game full of innuendos such as bouncing balls, seam bowling, batting (at) the other side

...*counts how long it is before mud wrestling is mentioned...*
:p

[KhawMengLee]

hehe
cricket is a marvellous game full of innuendos such as bouncing balls, seam bowling, batting (at) the other side

...*counts how long it is before mud wrestling is mentioned...*
:p

yes, things like, "He tried to take a slash past the wickets but ended up dribbling down legside..."

Then there's the famous cousin of the LBW(Leg Before Wickets for you non-gentlemen), the dreaded BBW(Balls Before Wicket...aka. oops, gamekeeper I seem to have caught a weasel up the broadside harry, what what.).

[KhawMengLee]

hehe
cricket is a marvellous game full of innuendos such as bouncing balls, seam bowling, batting (at) the other side

...*counts how long it is before mud wrestling is mentioned...*
:p

yes, things like, "He tried to take a slash past the wickets but ended up dribbling down legside..."

Then there's the famous cousin of the LBW(Leg Before Wickets for you non-gentlemen), the dreaded BBW(Balls Before Wicket...aka. oops, gamekeeper I seem to have caught a weasel up the broadside harry, what what.).

[Hisham]

I can't Google for nude volleyball while I am at work... :(

I believe that promoting Smutt inc is a collective effort, this is what i found by googling "nude volleyball"

http://aulait.blox.pl/resource/siatkowka_nago_250x250.jpg

Not forgetting the smutty samuryettes of this board here is the male version of nude volleyball:

http://members.aol.com/Vballxchg/Images/Volleyball/spikenaked.gif

[shred_lord]

http://www.lifestylelounge.com/images/CDI1950vid.swf

[Spendius]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to shred_lord again.

Really, really brilliant !

[theicychameleon]

"are you sure about that... my smellybogu friend?"

PSP... white is coming :)

[Paburo]

"are you sure about that... my smellybogu friend?"

PSP... white is coming :)

white who??

hisham... are you sure you still want to burn the tshirt? :D

http://dada.fr.be.msn.com/index.php?a=2&id_type=5&id_class=5&cat=1399&pag=7&order=date_ins

oh those dirty belgian/french... (or whoever set up that smutty site! oh yeah, blame it on micro$ofts msn...)

[Decado]

yes, things like, "He tried to take a slash past the wickets but ended up dribbling down legside..."

Then there's the famous cousin of the LBW(Leg Before Wickets for you non-gentlemen), the dreaded BBW(Balls Before Wicket...aka. oops, gamekeeper I seem to have caught a weasel up the broadside harry, what what.).

What about "he's just bowled a googlie", "he's just bowled a maiden over" and that famous commentary describing who was bowling and who was batting "the batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey" - just hope both enjoyed it!

All of the above are, sadly, true.

[Hisham]

white who??

hisham... are you sure you still want to burn the tshirt? :D

http://dada.fr.be.msn.com/index.php?a=2&id_type=5&id_class=5&cat=1399&pag=7&order=date_ins

oh those dirty belgian/french... (or whoever set up that smutty site! oh yeah, blame it on micro$ofts msn...)

Damn it i can't see the pics, it seems that you have to register with a phone number before getting access, i can imagine what they're about by there respective names but i guess the barca god saved me from being converted :D

[Awooga Guy]

By the way Smells, that is the second best avatar on KWF (After Awooga Guy's of course :) ) Awooga Guy loves it.






That is all.

[The great I AM]

A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says "Ah, I see you've regained
consciousness.Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up
on the motorway. Now you're going to be OK, you'll walk again,
everything, but something happened. I'm trying to break this gently but
your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."
Now the bloke groans a bit but the doctor goes on "But it's going to be
alright, we have the technology now to build you a new one that will
work as well as your old one did, better in fact. But the thing is, it
doesn't come cheap. It's a thousand pounds an inch".

The bloke perks up at this, even though it's a thousand pounds an inch.
"So the thing is" the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many
inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife.
I mean, if you had a five inch one before and you decide to go for a
nine incher She might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one
before and You decide only to invest in a five incher this time she
might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a vital role in
helping you make the decision."

So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife and the doctor comes back the
next day.

"So" says the doctor "Have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have." says the fellow.

"And has she helped you in making the decision?"

"She has" says the bloke.

"And what is it?" asks the doctor. . .

"We're having a new kitchen".

[Fred27]

As promised here is some good quality smut!

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p236/TempDude27/funny_cat_pictures_123.jpg

and

http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p236/TempDude27/funny_cat_pictures_248.jpg

[Mokujin77]

I was sent this:

http://www.boreme.com/boremerigid/funny-2007/make-porn-family-safe-p1.php

...and thought of you!:D




Some of it is genius, some of it isn't. Enjoy.

[Newbie]

http://www.boreme.com/boremerigid/fu...ly-safe-p1.php

There's many kinds of wrong in that.

[theicychameleon]

http://www.boreme.com/boremerigid/funny-2007/make-porn-family-safe-p6.php

That was amazing, thank you!

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Thats not the soccer we get to see on tv ... :( but then again, I never remember very much ...

[ScottUK]

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the table that I collected from the letter box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table, Put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that it is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the post-box when I take out the rubbish anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the fridge to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the worktop catches my eye they need water. I put the Coke on the worktop and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the worktop, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote control. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote control, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the living room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote control back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

- the car isn't washed
- the bills aren't paid
- there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the worktop
- the flowers don't have enough water
- there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book
- I can't find the remote control
- I can't find my glasses
- and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired. I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

[theicychameleon]

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to ScottUK again."

Thats amazing. Suddenly I feel productive.

[KhawMengLee]

An Engrish lesson we'd all like to give... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBc5IKNtNSI)

[Spendius]

An Engrish lesson we'd all like to give... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBc5IKNtNSI)

That's even better than fitness "take everything you want" lesson. I can't believe it's for real !
My grandmother (...) :scared:

[KhawMengLee]

That Toshi is one lucky cat...

[Mokujin77]

An Engrish lesson we'd all like to give... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBc5IKNtNSI)

Haaaaaaaahahahahaha!

"First-rate c*** lapping! Come on! Come on, Toshi!".


Oh deary me, I just laughed till I shat!:D

[rottunpunk]

this carrot is really real
its alledgedly from tonna which is a place in neath (wales) where i used to live
made me chortle anyhoos
http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/6189/n500234301609298894sa4.th.jpg (http://img514.imageshack.us/my.php?image=n500234301609298894sa4.jpg)
:p

[KhawMengLee]

I used to think Reznor and Manson got the freeek on...

Dir en grey - Obscure (http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/97011/Dir_En_Grey_Obscure.html)(Warning nudity and freeekies)

[KhawMengLee]

Under the Sea... (http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b45/khughes222/Aquarium%20Stuff/S5000332.jpg) Think of the phrase, "Ahhhh...now all I need is a brojob and a beer...."

[KhawMengLee]

Annnnnnnd finally(Its been a boring day):

NaiNai's Japanese Girl Tour for Foreigners [1/3] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXM5uzo0Sjs)

Follow the links for parts 2 and 3.

[Awooga Guy]

Ahhh Meng's back :)

Also, fixed teh link for you again Deb: http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/6189/n500234301609298894sa4.jpg

Good smut folks.





That is all.

[Spendius]

random smut & stuff:
http://picasaweb.google.com/ronnie.soak/Smut1

[Spendius]

Anti hentai panties
http://inventorspot.com/new_shot_guard_underwear_infrared_protection_photo graphers

[Spendius]

Hehe some are quite good
http://passiveaggressivenotes.wordpress.com/2007/05/31/bicoastal-elevator-action/

[rottunpunk]

cheers awooga. id be lost wothout your technolological prowess

email joke of teh day:

The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go to the
Pearly Gates to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.


Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St Peter has to
decide which of them is to enter.

The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should be
admitted to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says "Look at these. They're the most
perfect
breasts God ever created. I'm sure it will please God to be able to see
them every day for eternity."

St Peter thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.

The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and
gargles. Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever.

The Angel Says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged and asks "What was that all about? I show you two of
God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She spits into a
commode and she gets in! Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats
a pair - no matter how big they are.

[SmellsLikeBogu]

some more gifts from the smutgods themselves, aka the japanese.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vmmPgDYzDs
god I wish we had japanese channels here ...

[theicychameleon]

Octopodes have long been an integral part of lovemaking in japan:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/44/Dream_of_the_fishermans_wife_hokusai.jpg
from the 1700s to today:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnWQW36bPIk

[Fred27]

and yet more japanese smut-shows...groovey! :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=&mode=related&v=aISoPxoC99g

[ScottUK]

One Liners:

Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt you got run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing'.

A woman asked her hubby if he knew how she could make her bust bigger. He said 'try rubbing toilet paper between your tits, it's worked for your arse'.

My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients, it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet.

Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale cl*t licking frog' She goes in and the shopkeeper says 'Bonjour madame'.

Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much, it scared the shit out of me. So today I decided I'm never reading again.

Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your Mum like?' Little girl replies 'Big c*cks and vodka'.

A couple in a cafe in Llangollen asks 'Can you settle an argument for us and pronounce where we are, VERY slowly?' The waitress leaned over and said 'Burrr gurrr king'.

Boss has to lay off Ann or Jack. Ann walks into the office, boss says 'I have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off.....'You better jack off, I've got a headache'.

Paul McCartney poem-: We lay upon the grassy bank, my hands were all quiver, I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river.

Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend was rushed to hospital to have a dangerous mole removed from his penis...... he won't be sh*gging one of those again!

It's important to keep fit as you get older, my granny started walking 5 kilometres a day when she was 60. Today she's 97 and we don't know where the hell she is!

Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel....They say it's only for the Christmas period.

A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her p*ssy. Doc say's 'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty?, it's just the tip of the iceberg!

Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite, the receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?' The bride answers 'Yes, I won't take it up the arse'!

[Awooga Guy]

Never mind that Scott, post a pic of that bruise you texted Awooga Guy with this morning! :)

(PS Great jokes)






That is all.

[Fred27]

I think Scott is going for forum God-hood with all the positive rep he's getting. He's got my vote too :D

[ScottUK]

Hehe I get +rep from people who don't know me in real life and -rep from my so-called friends...!
Never mind that Scott, post a pic of that bruise you texted Awooga Guy with this morning! :)Go start an 'injuries thread' and I'll contribute tonight...

[SmellsLikeBogu]

random wrong kind of smut
http://www.fat-man.org/

[Nige]

random wrong kind of smut
http://www.fat-man.org/

I'm not even gonna click that :scared:

[lucy]

I'm not even gonna click that :scared:

And that's good for you... :eek:

[rottunpunk]

i was foolish and clicked on the fat-man link and it was scary

so wheres this 'ere bruise our scott, and what kind of training have you been doing to get it? :D

i got me a good one at archery last friday (bruise that is) just on me arm, so not smutty, but very colourful
it was lumpy at first
:p

[ScottUK]

http://www.kendo-world.com/forum/showthread.php?t=13868

[Decado]

I'm not even gonna click that :scared:

Unfortunately I did! Reminds me a bit of what I was like about 3 to 4 years ago although I wasn't quite that bad!.

He had bigger boobs than a girlfriend I went out with last year!

[rottunpunk]

found it
i will upload my bruise after work tonight for ya
we havent had a smutty sign in a while
[img=http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/568/n500234301609264285zv8.th.jpg] (http://img237.imageshack.us/my.php?image=n500234301609264285zv8.jpg)
:p

[Decado]

found it
i will upload my bruise after work tonight for ya
we havent had a smutty sign in a while
[img=http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/568/n500234301609264285zv8.th.jpg] (http://img237.imageshack.us/my.php?image=n500234301609264285zv8.jpg)
:p

Damn! Need to spread rep around, etc!

Don't ever recall seeing a sign like that in Greece. Do you have to shag a sheep (that's how syphilis is supposed to have started) or do you have to bend over for the toll man (for the guys the Greeks were supposed to have started that one as a means of population control).

[Nige]

found it
i will upload my bruise after work tonight for ya
we havent had a smutty sign in a while
[img=http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/568/n500234301609264285zv8.th.jpg] (http://img237.imageshack.us/my.php?image=n500234301609264285zv8.jpg)
:p

Who invents these signs and thinks "ok, this isn't in anyway rude or innuendous!"

[Decado]

Who invents these signs and thinks "ok, this isn't in anyway rude or innuendous!"

Well, they are Greeks! I once saw a sign on Naxos that advertised a "Vom Grill". Short for vomit perhaps? (It's all right Lucy, I know it's German for from the grill before you say :happy:).

Or maybe the sign is a plea from a desperate toll collector!

[lucy]

(It's all right Lucy, I know it's German for from the grill before you say :happy:).


Am I really that bad? :wink:

[Decado]

Am I really that bad? :wink:

Sorry, wasn't meant to be a dig at you! Just that I thought I'd spare your fingers from having to type what Vom Grill actually meant. You can tell me the case though (Dative?).

PS Didn't try any of that really bad cheese in my visit to Germany/Austria last week but had lots of schnaps just in case! And beer!

[lucy]

Sorry, wasn't meant to be a dig at you! Just that I thought I'd spare your fingers from having to type what Vom Grill actually meant. You can tell me the case though (Dative?).
Yes, it is. :) I was just wondering whether I'd been too much of a know-it-all recently. :nervous:


PS Didn't try any of that really bad cheese in my visit to Germany/Austria last week but had lots of schnaps just in case! And beer!
That's the more healthy way of living anyway, I guess. :D

[Decado]

Yes, it is. :) I was just wondering whether I'd been too much of a know-it-all recently. :nervous:


That's the more healthy way of living anyway, I guess. :D

I think others on this forum have the reputation of knowing it all. No names, no pack drill as they say. Me, I know less than nothing. In fact people are constantly astounded at just how little I know - as I constantly show at keiko! :D

From your description of that cheese driving at 240 kph on the German autobahns would be healthier. Hang on a minute - some people were doing just that last week! Perhaps they had eaten the cheese and needed a hospital quickly. Du lieber Gott, das Kaese war nicht so gut. Ich brauche ein Arzt - schnell!

[lucy]

From your description of that cheese driving at 240 kph on the German autobahns would be healthier. Hang on a minute - some people were doing just that last week! Perhaps they had eaten the cheese and needed a hospital quickly. Du lieber Gott, das Kaese war nicht so gut. Ich brauche ein Arzt - schnell!

:D 240 kph is nothing special, we don't have a limit, after all, just a "recommendation" of 130 kph. :D Our little car doesn't get over 140-150 kph, though. :(

During one my driving lessons I got to drive maybe 210 kph - and it was raining. :D

[Obukan_dude]

Here's (http://www.theonion.com/content/video/j_k_rowling_hints_at_harry_potter?utm_source=slate _rss_1) a little something for the Harry Potter fans (btw, it's from The Onion).

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Here's (http://www.theonion.com/content/video/j_k_rowling_hints_at_harry_potter?utm_source=slate _rss_1) a little something for the Harry Potter fans (btw, it's from The Onion).

is it going to be an anal rape or vaginal rape?

respect!

[Sparv]

anal rape
With a wand?
(Sorry, I could not resist):ermm:

[rottunpunk]

hehe giants are aggressively aggressive sexually-excellent
many kudos dude
:p

[satsumaruma]

With a wand?
(Sorry, I could not resist):ermm:


yes, yes , yesss, yessss, ahhhh yesssss yeeeeeeeeessss. Oh that's magic, yes, yessss, make me go 'Levio-sah', oooh yes


:nervous::cyclops::calm:

[Sparv]

On the same subject, a very interresting article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_magic) in wikipedia.
Who try Google? do you think that we might get banned?

[satsumaruma]

How, why did you find this?

If you put the word 'SEX' in any search engine you will be inundated with a gazillion sites. How many did you have to 'research' ...ahem... before you came to this site? And what did you say to the wife?:scared::nervous:

[Sparv]

The wife is not already a problem (I'm only 21, still young and free), and I directly used the wikipedia search engine.

[satsumaruma]

Oh you missed so much!

I did it the other way - eyesight already suffering....and my left hand is almost worn away......:scared::scared::scared:;)

[Sparv]

Is your post related to this one? They have a... how will I say it... common look? :o

Yah for shure.

I am quite happy to be a hypocrite. here is why.

I have a daughter. I would not wish her to be a lapdancer or a porn star or for any man to ogle her. When she is married she may do as she wishes with her partner but I would not be happy for her to show herself publicly as entertainment. However, I have seen porn films, am sure I would enjoy a lapdance etc etc but that is with another man's daughter.

This is hypocrisy. And I am very comfortable with my double standards. Not proud of them but accepting of them as my very real flaws as a human being.

[shred_lord]

Oh you missed so much!

I did it the other way - eyesight already suffering....and my left hand is almost worn away......:scared::scared::scared:;)
Learn to use the mouse with you left hand. ;)

[Sparv]

Learn to use the mouse with you left hand. ;)

If I remember well, the voice command is one of the new features of Windows Vista. :D

[shred_lord]

Pelvic Power Lifting (http://www.koreus.com/video/trojan-games-weightlifting.html)

[rottunpunk]

wahey go ukraine. they have a training coach too. how does that work?
and how did you find this?
:p

[shred_lord]

http://www.stumbleupon.com/

It's a joy!

[Obukan_dude]

Even Death (http://a2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/4/l_e377adc592dae95c9edb3a47a2e2f3e1.jpg) can be smutty sometimes...

[theicychameleon]

"Pelvic Power Lifting"

I wonder if there are different weight catagories?... how would they apply a handicap?

[RC_Kenshi]

Even Death (http://a2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/4/l_e377adc592dae95c9edb3a47a2e2f3e1.jpg) can be smutty sometimes...

That is wrong on sooooo many levels.


Funny.


But wrong

[Nige]

You've heard of MILFs and GILFs, but CILFs (http://www.ifilm.com/video/2858186) is new to me :p

nsfw - Contains the F word a few times

[Decado]

You've heard of MILFs and GILFs, but CILFs (http://www.ifilm.com/video/2858186) is new to me :p

nsfw - Contains the F word a few times

Wondered what the C stood for for a few seconds.

I just seem to date the MILFs - not a complaint btw!

[ScottUK]

Four guys, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, were reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the restroom.

Those who remained started talking about their kids. The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top-of-the-line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company. Now he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied at the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: a 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?" One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. What about your son?"

The fourth man replied:
"My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub." The three friends said: "What a shame...what disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. He hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet, and a top-of-the-line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

[ScottUK]

Nut Bra, anyone...?

http://hogrockcafe.com/the_nut_bra.htm

[Fred27]

Nut Bra, anyone...?

http://hogrockcafe.com/the_nut_bra.htm

Scott..You will pay for polluting my eyes with that horrendous clip..Oh yes! You will pay! :angry:

[chidokan]

I wonder if there are different weight categories?... how would they apply a handicap?

Fat ugly wimmin perhaps?:laugh:

I nearly forgot about this one BTW....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUChv_NDCzY

[shred_lord]

http://break.com/index/perfect_strangers_coffee_shop.html

hehehe

[Spendius]

Nerdy webcomic, but some nerdy smut too

http://xkcd.com/c95.html
http://xkcd.com/c113.html
http://xkcd.com/c136.html
http://xkcd.com/c158.html
http://xkcd.com/c199.html
http://xkcd.com/c225.html
http://xkcd.com/c237.html
http://xkcd.com/c243.html

[Awooga Guy]

Nerdy webcomic, but some nerdy smut too

http://xkcd.com/c95.html
http://xkcd.com/c113.html
http://xkcd.com/c136.html
http://xkcd.com/c158.html
http://xkcd.com/c199.html
http://xkcd.com/c225.html
http://xkcd.com/c237.html
http://xkcd.com/c243.html

Arf :)





That is all.

[chidokan]

I just found the ultimate in power lifting handicaps...but you honestly DON'T want to see it... some of you may have just eaten.

[chidokan]

http://www.break.com/index/what_i_learned_from_porn.html

of course its all true...:D

[Spendius]

This young, freshly graduated lieutenant has just integrated French foreign legion, and is sent to a camp in algeria. He is very surprised when he learns that as a kind of "welcome ritual" part of the regiment's tradition, he'll have to "honor" one of the goats of the regiment's herd. He's very reluctant, and tries to talk his way out of this tricky situation, but realizes his men will never take him seriously or respect him if he doesn't comply. So, he walks into the barn, grabs a goat and drops his pants. At this point, all the soldiers around start laughing out loud.
- Stop mocking me, it's your f*cking tradition, I don't want to do it
- No, it's just you've chosen the ugliest one !

[Spendius]

In an african village, the village chief is quite surprised when he realizes his wife just gave birth to a white baby ! Quite irate, he decides to talk the matter with the village's only white man, a catholic priest:
- My wife's baby' white. Explanation ?
- Well, you know, it's, hem... genetics ! Genetic randomness, you know, take, for example, this herd of sheep. All of them are white, but this baby sheep is black !
- Okay... I don't say nothing for the baby, you keep quiet about the sheep.

An english woman, an irish woman and a black woman all give birth the same night in the same hospital.
The next morning, a nurse comes to talk to the english:
- Well, I'm sorry, it's never happend, but we lost the tags of the babies. We don't know which one is yours, maybe you could come with me, to see if you can recognize him ?
The english woman takes a hard look on the babies, and after a while, decides:
- it must be that one !
- Well... I mean... Are you sure ? This baby's black ! To me, it's unlikely it's yours !
- I know, but this way, I'm sure I'm not taking the irish.

[Decado]

An english woman, an irish woman and a black woman all give birth the same night in the same hospital.
The next morning, a nurse comes to talk to the english:
- Well, I'm sorry, it's never happend, but we lost the tags of the babies. We don't know which one is yours, maybe you could come with me, to see if you can recognize him ?
The english woman takes a hard look on the babies, and after a while, decides:
- it must be that one !
- Well... I mean... Are you sure ? This baby's black ! To me, it's unlikely it's yours !
- I know, but this way, I'm sure I'm not taking the irish.

That's just taking the mick(y) too far!

[Decado]

The title of this post has got your attention hasn’t it, you smutty people! The title is quite relevant though.

I have a true story which can be construed as quite smutty but many people will find quite gross. You have been warned!

I used to work in a microbiology lab in a hospital. One of the tests we did was semen analysis to see if someone was firing blanks or not. We had to dilute a specific amount of the semen with some diluting fluid and then look at it under a microscope and count the number of sperm, how many were wiggling about, etc. The semen comes (groan!) in a small, transparent pot and you used a pipette to draw out the requisite amount of semen (for those that don’t know a pipette is a hollow glass tube with a pointy end which you stick into the fluid. The tube has graduations on it to allow you to know how much fluid you have sucked up), place it in a test tube containing the diluting fluid, mix it and then take a drop out and put it on a microscope.

Look, it really does get quite gross so if you are easily offended look away now.

Anyway, one day, it was the turn of a young lass in the lab to do the tests. I’ll call her Debbie, mainly because that’s her name. She went into the fridge where the semen pots were stored until testing and brought out the dozen or so that were to be tested.

Grossness coming up in a paragraph or so. Have a sick bag ready!

Okay, I also have to explain that, in those days, the way we sucked up fluid into a pipette was to put your mouth over the non-pointy end, put the pointy end into the fluid and carefully suck up the fluid.

The first semen that Debbie tested was fine and she did the semen count and wrote it down. However, the next one was a bit problematic. It turned out to be a very thick one and a big globby bit got stuck on the end of the pipette as she sucked.

All right this is the last warning! But you know what is going to happen don’t you?

Now, any sensible person would have stopped there and shook the globby bit off the end of the pipette. But no! Debbie just sucked harder but the globby bit was stubborn and just remained there. So she sucked mightily and…………….


Look, this really is the last warning! Look away now!





….with a curious sound most of the contents of the semen pot shot up the pipette straight into her mouth! :eek: (You were warned!). And to answer the question, she rushed straight to the nearest sink and spat it out. Afterwards, once we had stopped laughing, she said it wasn’t too bad – she just wasn’t used to it being cold! :D