Let's talk cricket...

[ben]

You Poms will just be waking to the awful news.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,11004-2006560371,00.html

b :D

[ghostdancer]

pretty much what the realists amongst us thought, you aussies only let us win every so often to give us a false sense of superiority !

[Newbie]

:d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d :d

[chidokan]

Its hardly surprising we have a crap team when only one person I know is even interested in it. I know more people who do MA than I do players or fans of 'a good day at the park spoiled by chasing a ball about'....:D

[Newbie]

My smilies didn't work :( What's going on??

[xvikingx]

Is cricket that really confusing and boring version of baseball?
:D

Newbie those are lower case ds love. They've got to be bigguns.

[Manuka]

As explained to a foreigner...

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.
Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out.
When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.
Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
And that is called an inning.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.
When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!


or to explain it another way,
10 minutes of excitement packed into 3 rainy days.

The only part of Cricket I would ever want to experience is described as
"Bowling a maiden over".
In real life I have never been able to accomplish that.

[Kenzan]

It's a quite simple game really.
The bowler attempts to strike the bails, which is part of wicket on stumps, unless of course, it goes out of the popping crease, which the wicket-keeper helps to tend.
This is in conjunction with the striker, unless he's a non-striker. Sometimes the ball is dead, and then redelivered. This continues until the over, and there are outs, and non outs, and run outs.Sometimes when the ball is hit, you simply don't feel like running, so you don't.
In addition to being caught, bowled or stumped, you can:
Handle some balls,
Hit the ball twice,
Or simply time yourself out.
Extras include:
no balls, wides, byes, and leg byes.
Bye-Byes do not exist in this game.

Flippers, Googlies, top-spinners and leg cutters.

~Got that all?
:D

Yup....Just like American Baseball.
(Only not nearly as much drugs.)
:D

[AlexM]

Is cricket that really confusing and boring version of baseball?
:D



Wait, there's a simple and exciting version of baseball? When did this happen?

[xvikingx]

As explained to a foreigner....

That didn't make a lick of sense. I'm too hung over to try and wrap my head around this game.

[xvikingx]

Wait, there's a simple and exciting version of baseball?

Beer Alex. Lot's of beer. And as Kenzan suggested, maybe some drugs will help.

[Alison2805]

Thats the only reason us Aussies love cricket. Its days and days of sitting outside getting drunk, trying to out-cheer the barmy army. As for the actual game, I havent the foggiest how it all works, I just cheer when everyone else does.

Plus everyone wants to see the brittish lose and go home sunburnt to hell :laugh:

[Anonymous]

All I know about cricket is that the bats are supposed to be good for getting rid of zombies.

[Newbie]

Newbie those are lower case ds love. They've got to be bigguns.


It was really weird - I typed them upper case. then when it came out like that, i went to advance post and put them in that way by clicking on the grinning smiley icon. and when i saved the post it went back to being like that. my housemate was standing right here and saw it. truly odd.


Thats the only reason us Aussies love cricket. Its days and days of sitting outside getting drunk, trying to out-cheer the barmy army. As for the actual game, I havent the foggiest how it all works, I just cheer when everyone else does.

*sigh* I love my cricket.

[Alison2805]

All I know about cricket is that the bats are supposed to be good for getting rid of zombies.

indeed they are! Also good for killing cockroaches.

[Newbie]

Alison - I thought you saw the evidence last night that all you need for that is my cat ;)

[Alison2805]

hahaha! Thats right. Your cat loves cockroaches. Im no sure if he'd do as well with the zombies....

[Newbie]

Hey, he is also stealth ninja cat. this morning he was stealth ninjering underneath the brocolli in the veggie patch.

[Alison2805]

Hahahahaa!

*Hey, I cant keep capitals either...

[rottunpunk]

its because it was abroad so being played at stupid oclock
so i couldnt watch it so we lost
sorry guys
well do betterer next time no doubt

also, you are talking about a nation that prides itself on victories from the sixties, and tim henman
like this minor setback will bother us theres always last year :D
:p

[PhilMcLaughlin]

I guess if youd lost ponting to injury & mcgrath was badly off form youd be struggling too compared to the team that won in 2005

I reckon Monty for Giles, Mahmood for harmison at least & theres a good argument for losing anderson & jones too

roll on next test.....

oh & if its too complex to understand well thats bad luck ;-)

[Luke]

to quote groucho marx

"great game, when does it start?"

[AlexM]

Beer Alex. Lot's of beer. And as Kenzan suggested, maybe some drugs will help.

So you're saying this kind of baseball exists only in your own mind.... fascinating.

[Henry Jones Jnr]

Don't forget all the lovely positions!!!. Like Square leg, fine leg, silly mid on. Having three slips and a gully. Being the third man!!. Phil would be long off cause he still pongs of dead fish.
Cover!!! Deep something. Batsman on strike. Actually I would be in charge of the drinks trolly as they have drink and meal breaks during a test. Sometimes it is a test, I mean hey, the games goes on for four days unless someone declares. One thing I will never forget was when we thrashed Australia all out for 58 and Richard Hadlee got a hat trick. It was a one dayer tho. I mean that was just about nine overs!!!!.:silly:

[Kenzan]

Actually I would be in charge of the drinks trolly as ....

Drinks.....Trolly!!? You say!? :D
What a most superbly excellent idea!!
It is a drink tray....and yet, it's portable! Brilliant!
I really need to get one of those for the patio!
LOL

In America we have a sort of the same thing...


..Except the trollies have a Hemi engine.

...and are cars..
:D

I'm not being a smart ass by the way..i really do think a drink cart to wheel about is sublime!

[Henry Jones Jnr]

OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhh. Actually the trollies have a big tray on the back and look rather like sus golf buggies.

[Kenzan]

OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhhh. Actually the trollies have a big tray on the back and look rather like sus golf buggies.

Niiiiiice!
:D

[Alison2805]

Meh, this is why I just watch the game on tv: just heard on this mornings news that the first game in WA is having problems with queues streatching for so long that only 70% of people will actually get into the cricket ground!! And they all have tickets. Some people have been sitting at the gates since 4am so they could beat the rush.

Stuff that. Im happier to sit at home where the beer is cheaper, the chairs more comfy and the loos arent crowded :]

*and EVERYONE should have a drinks trolly!! Perfect for next to the pool.

[ben]

The few times I've been to cricket (I think the Centenary Test in '77 btw Aus and Eng was the last time!! AUs won by the exact same margin as they did the first time, 14 runs IIRC), I've always had the same problem: staring intently at play for hours, then the one moment I turn around to see what the wackos in bay 13 are up to, someone goes out spectacularly. Must have happened about a dozen times.

Still, it is a lovely day out.

b

[Manuka]

Well of course if the game is close, the Aussies could always bowl underarm.

[PhilMcLaughlin]

3rd test

Aussies 244 all out, Monty 5 for 92, Harmy is bowling properly again - ahh happy day :-))

[JSchmidt]

Well, with England at 51-2, I'd hold of the victory dance for a bit yet...but yeah, they should have used Monty in the first 2 tests.

[Henry Jones Jnr]

Oh No!!!!! Top order batting collapse!!!!!!

[Nanbanjin]

3rd test

Aussies 244 all out, Monty 5 for 92, Harmy is bowling properly again - ahh happy day :-))

Ahh, happy day!

[Maro]

England Gorn! :eek: :mad:

[Cobra51]

It's a quite simple game really.
The bowler attempts to strike the bails, which is part of wicket on stumps, unless of course, it goes out of the popping crease, which the wicket-keeper helps to tend.
This is in conjunction with the striker, unless he's a non-striker. Sometimes the ball is dead, and then redelivered. This continues until the over, and there are outs, and non outs, and run outs.Sometimes when the ball is hit, you simply don't feel like running, so you don't.
In addition to being caught, bowled or stumped, you can:
Handle some balls,
Hit the ball twice,
Or simply time yourself out.
Extras include:
no balls, wides, byes, and leg byes.
Bye-Byes do not exist in this game.

Flippers, Googlies, top-spinners and leg cutters.

~Got that all?
:D

Yup....Just like American Baseball.
(Only not nearly as much drugs.)
:D

:normal: What????:happy:

[Huddo]

:normal: What????:happy:

The only thing you really need to know is the Aussies just beat the English FIVE matchs to ZIP !!!!! :cheerful:

[namabiru]

How the hell do you play cricket anyway?

[doraemon]

howzat! 5-0 !

[Seiza_Seizure]

Well of course if the game is close, the Aussies could always bowl underarm.


That is a great call. We are very sore losers at times. A sad day in cricket and to think we had to bowl underarm to win the match. Thank God we won this time. I suspect you have Kiwi blood there Munuka, or you have a love for honey!

[chidokan]

It's not really a cricket team we send over... They are actually prison warders in disguise, and just checking up on the inmates.;) Or was it mental health inspectors? I can never be sure....especially about people who actually WATCH cricket.:D

Aussie customs official "do you have a criminal record?"
English visitor "why?... is it still compulsory?"
The old ones are the best....:D :D

[namabiru]

Aussie customs official "do you have a criminal record?"
English visitor "why?... is it still compulsory
The old ones are the best....:D :D

Ha ha ha, good one! I miss the days when we could have a sense of humor during the Immigration interrogation in the States...

[Nanbanjin]

Ha ha ha, good one! I miss the days when we could have a sense of humor during the Immigration interrogation in the States...

I once told a check-in chick (my God, Airports have check-in chicks!) that the only sharp object I had on me was a rapier wit. I guess saying that proved that I was harmless and humourless.
Good thing they didn't decide to do a body search.

[Ignatz]

When I go through the metal detector I will say something like "Hmmm, hot woman in a uniform, pair of rubber gloves, imagine the possibilities"
Always gets a laugh.

[Maro]

I seriously suggested to my Aussie colleagues that for the second innings for England, they should have picked the 11 most drunk Barmy Army fans.

They would have offered my resistance. :disapp:

On a Iai related note - I haven't played cricket since I started Iai. I wonder if my batting would be better now? Bottom (left) hand dominant Right Handed batsmen are rare - interesting!

[Manuka]

http://members.iinet.net.au/~perthdps/convicts/res-03.html

1718-1783 About 50,000 British criminals were transported to colonies in America.

1775-1783 AMERICAN WAR OF INDEPENDENCE - hostilities with Britain brought transportation to a halt.

1783-1787 British prisons and hulks began to over-flow.

1786 The colony of New South Wales was proclaimed by King George III

http://www.eogen.com/Transportation
"The infractions usually included theft of insignificant amounts of money or goods, but murderers, rapists, and traitors also escaped the death penalty by this means. Convicted felons were sent to America (mainly Virginia and Maryland) between the mid-1600s and the outbreak of the Revolutionary War. Following American independence, Australia was selected as a penal colony".

Virginia and Maryland !!!
No wonder all of DC is corrupt, it is in the genes.

[Kenzan]

This is just.....This is...Uh....Um....I can't begin to......This...This...


WHY? (http://www.aussie-nintendo.com/?v=news&p=10318)

[Newbie]

Bloody Poms. Damn you. Damn you damn you damn you all.



We had to let you win one, I suppose.

[PhilMcLaughlin]

Ha !

too soon to hope though ;-)

[chidokan]

a child is being interviewed by the judge....

"so young man, your parents are hitting you?"

"yes judge."

"do you want to live with your aunt?"

"no judge, she hits me as well...."

"well then, the only thing for it then is for you to live with the english cricket team...they never beat anyone."

and that is the only cricket joke I know. Apart from the team of course.:rolleyes:

[PhilMcLaughlin]

i think you missed the point mate - we just beat the aussies.......

[SmellsLikeBogu]

I dont get cricket. Its like baseball but without the tights?