Americans & culture...

[Spendius]

- how many eiffel towers are there in Paris ?
- about 10 ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE&eurl=

[Ignatz]

Here we go again. Thanks for the link frogboy.

[pgsmith]

- how many eiffel towers are there in Paris ?
It's in France, so it doesn't matter how many there are! :)

[samurai80]

Incredible. This reminds me of when I told someone I had visited family in New Jersey. They asked me if Jersey was next to California...

[bullet08]

Incredible. This reminds me of when I told someone I had visited family in New Jersey. They asked me if Jersey was next to California...

i could see where they might not notice jersey.

pete

[Paikea]

- how many eiffel towers are there in Paris ?
- about 10 ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJuNgBkloFE&eurl=Wasn't Borat from Belgium?

[Kenzan]

I, for one, welcome our retarded American overlords.
:D

[Ignatz]

It's in France, so it doesn't matter how many there are! :)
Wasn't france a real country several centuries ago?

p.s. nice getting to see you in Orlando Paul, I just got back from Venezuela. Simon, Hugo, Fidel, Ernesto and Ignatz.:eek:

[cesarekim]

Simon Bolivar, Fidel Castro, Ernesto Guevara, Ignatz the man who used to be a lawyer....

Hugo?

[ScottUK]

Wasn't france a real country several centuries ago?Yeah, until 1415.

[Spendius]

Yeah, until 1415.

At which point we moved to Australia ;)

[Paikea]

Simon Bolivar, Fidel Castro, Ernesto Guevara, Ignatz the man who used to be a lawyer....

Hugo?Chavez. El Maximo Lider de Venezuela...

[Anime12478]

I saw this video before. On the website, people were using this video to prove that Americans are stupid. One thing I would like to do is ask them what they know about the US of A and see how knowledgeable they are about the country they love to hate.

[Fonsz]

I saw this video before. On the website, people were using this video to prove that Americans are stupid. One thing I would like to do is ask them what they know about the US of A and see how knowledgeable they are about the country they love to hate.

I know that Talahassee is the capital of Florida State and Sacramento of California. (Without Googling) But someone who doesn't know where Kentucky Fried Chicken originates? I would like to know whether they asked at random people or if they were handpicked. I mean the bum who wanted to attack Brazil for being a member of the Axis of Evil was very sure of it.:confused:
Wasn't there already a thread about this highly flamable topic?
And isn't Venezuela off limits nowadays for Yanquis?

[ghostdancer]

even better, and this man is the leader of the free world ?

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbushisms.htm

[Ignatz]

. . .And isn't Venezuela off limits nowadays for Yanquis?
Not for me my fine feathered friend. It is important to continue the struggle, viva la revolucion!!!
Plus the fishing is great.:smoker:

[cesarekim]

Chavez. El Maximo Lider de Venezuela...

Tnx. I guess I should have known but somehow Chavez has always been President Chavez to me. Must learn to read the news more carefully....

[Paikea]

And isn't Venezuela off limits nowadays for Yanquis?Yanquis, si. "Yankee Fans", aparrently not.

[Ignatz]

Baseball been berry, berry good to me.
Hugo is now pushing soccer, he may be going too far.

[a.hong]

But someone who doesn't know where Kentucky Fried Chicken originates?

Actually, the chain was started in Utah. (I know it doesn't make much sense)

[Anime12478]

Well, according to Wikipedia, he just started selling his chicken in Utah, but those places weren't called KFC at the time.

[ScottUK]

Q: What currency is used in the United Kingdom?

A: What is a United Kingdom?

Superb... :D

[Ignatz]

What's wrong with that answer?

[ScottUK]

If you're a fat thick septic who cares naught for your (probable) heritage, then nothing... :D

[bullet08]

If you're a fat thick septic who cares naught for your (probable) heritage, then nothing... :D

trust me, most of people in this country can't even trace back where their dogs came from.

pete

[ScottUK]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to bullet08 again.Ah, the Gods of +Rep are not smiling today. Nevertheless, that was fantastic...

[satsumaruma]

Gave him rep for the both of us.

That's another pint you owe me at watchet.

[satsumaruma]

On the website, people were using this video to prove that Americans are stupid. One thing I would like to do is ask them what they know about the US of A and see how knowledgeable they are about the country they love to hate.

Not stupid, just not aware there is a whole lotta world beyond your borders. Unless you ain't bombing it you don't think about it. Simplistic maybe but not too inaccurate.

We know lots about USA - your capital, some state capitals, rivers, mountain ranges, history, famous people, infamous people etc etc.

But to not know about the Eiffel Tower is incredulous. The most famous monument in the capital of another G8 country, one with tons of history and achievements to its credit. The most visited country in the world.

Here we go then. Tell me about Blois? Or Macon? Or Potsdam? Or Munster? Or Berwick? Or Watchet? Or Torremolinos? Or Gorky?

None of these are particularly famous and most people would not know too much about them.

Point I am making is that Europeans tend to know lots about famous places beyond there borders whereas Americans seem not to anything much outside their country.

I am happy to be proved wrong.

[satsumaruma]

Q: What currency is used in the United Kingdom?

A: What is a United Kingdom?

Superb... :D

Probably thrown by the fact that our monarch is a Queen ( tiara'd type not moustachioed type) and our leader is a clown.

[Paikea]

trust me, most of people in this country can't even trace back where their dogs came from.
Ha! I can trace mine back through the Lee family to one Rollo of Normandy, whose decendants later went on a day-trip across the channel with William, killed Harold at Hastings and went on to provide the Britons with structure, sanitation and a deep and lasting respect for all things Continental - sowing the seeds of the better part of eight centuries of war.

OK, so we've got a lot to answer for...

[Paikea]

Our leader is a clown.Loved that Oxford photo, by the way. Oh my.

[Kenzan]

Not stupid, just not aware there is a whole lotta world beyond your borders. Unless you ain't bombing it you don't think about it. Simplistic maybe but not too inaccurate.


Hold on there, Bob.
To be fair, It should be known that the US of A does not hold the monopoly on ignorant citizenry OR fat tubs 'O lard.


We know lots about USA - your capital, some state capitals, rivers, mountain ranges, history, famous people, infamous people etc etc.


And we know lots about your folk as well.
Ya'll talk funny, eat organ meats, and consume lots and lots of Tea.
That, and Oh, yeah, ya'll tried to take over the world a few times.
That's thar's OUR job now..M'kay?



But to not know about the Eiffel Tower is incredulous. The most famous monument in the capital of another G8 country, one with tons of history and achievements to its credit. The most visited country in the world.


Which WE (Yes, I was there) liberated. Hah! Take THAT , logic and reasoning!



Here we go then. Tell me about Blois?


Ah..Blois..that's what we call a girl named Lois who like to use her teeth.


Or Macon?


Not as good as Turkey Bacon.



Or Potsdam?


So some feller named Pots made a Dam..big freakin' deal.


Or Munster?


Excellent cheese.



Or Berwick?


Wasn't he an Ewok?



Or Watchet?


Look, if you don't know his name, just say so.



Or Torremolinos?


A Nacho Cheese flavored snack, right?



Or Gorky?


I think he had a park somewhere in Commie land.



Point I am making is that Europeans tend to know lots about famous places beyond there borders whereas Americans seem not to anything much outside their country.



Yeah...what do we know, we're just a bunch of filthy immigrants. (Many of which from YOUR islands.) Double Hah!
:D :D

[Paikea]

ya'll tried to take over the world a few times.Tried? For a while there, they had it in the bag.

[Kenzan]

Tried? For a while there, they had it in the bag.

If that were true, then we'd all be speaking English.
ZING!
:D

[Hank]

Point I am making is that Europeans tend to know lots about famous places beyond there borders whereas Americans seem not to anything much outside their country.

Well, when you're on a tiny little island floating in the North Sea, there isn't much that isn't beyond your borders. But when you live in a country that spans North America, there's enough going on to keep you entertained without having to look to other countries. Europe's just jealous that no one pays them attention anymore. When China rises up and takes over the world, I'm sure people in the US will be laughing at how the Chinese don't know that the Golden Gate Bridge is in San Fransisco.

Hank.

[Neil Gendzwill]

When I was in the UK, I found it just as isolated as the US. Very little international coverage in the papers I read.

Those of you who complain about how little the US knows about your particular country, just think of some other countries and ask yourself how much you know about them. Most Canadians can reel off state, city and politician's names from the US - can they do the same with Spain or Greece?

It's not like we know a lot about the US because we make an effort - face it, most people outside of the US get their knowledge of the US from movies and TV shows. It's hard not to know a few places and people. In fact, its so bad that people in Canada confuse stuff like court procedures and government organisation. We address our judges as "m'lord", for instance, but people will say "your honour" just because that's what they hear on every courtroom drama.

[PhilMcLaughlin]

lots snipped out

Point I am making is that Europeans tend to know lots about famous places beyond there borders whereas Americans seem not to anything much outside their country.

I am happy to be proved wrong.

Dear oh dear where did such a rant come from ?

no country has exclusive rights on culture, knowledge or downright ignorance

Ill bet youre average Chav couldnt even spell eiffel let alone know why it was built

I met loads of really nice americans when i was there last year (apart from in LA and washington - but thats like london & manchester)

yep there are amusingly simplistic ones - have you ever seen the fine upstanding brits on holiday in the med in their footy colours ? london cab drivers ? cab drivers anywhere (sorry if anyone on the board is a cabby ;-)

come on give it a rest

if you want to discriminate, just have a go at people who dont do kendo, not pick on one country

[Ignatz]

Tried? For a while there, they had it in the bag.
Except for those pesky little Irish savages. We breed faster than you can kill us.

[Paikea]

Except for those pesky little Irish savages. We breed faster than you can kill us.That worked to our adavantage too, we got a railroad, corned beef, hard-ass cops and one heck of a good springtime reason to party out of it.

If I secretly lust for all three of the Corr sisters, am I Irish after all?

[ScottUK]

Except for those pesky little Irish savages. We breed faster than you can kill us....and we tried, dammit. We tried.

[Kuma]

The most famous monument in the capital of another G8 country, one with tons of history and achievements to its credit.

Wha's so "GR8" about France, huh? Wait, "G" what? Wuzzat?


Hold on there, Bob.
To be fair, It should be known that the US of A does not hold the monopoly on ignorant citizenry OR fat tubs 'O lard.


Please don't use this defense. "Those folks are as dumb as we are" doesn't really convince anyone. It's like when people were attacking that atheist challenge by asking why they don't target Shinto as much as they do Christianity. You're missing the point and reinforcing it at the same time.

And Neil, didn't you listen to the World Service? How can you claim that they have little international coverage when the Beeb has the greatest world-wide news service on the planet?

Man, if you can deny that the majority of Americans have little if any knowledge, interest, or curiosity in the world they think they own then ya' must be one of 'em. Most of us hadn't even heard of Afghanistan before we invaded them. In fact, if we were to increase or foreign aggressions (it may be possible) perhaps we'd end up with a better informed populous. You know, we bomb a new country each month then learn about what they were like afterwards. What better way to fire Americans up about the world?

And before I get the predictable comments about "love it or leave it," let me state that I am working on it, thanks. :P

[Kenzan]

That worked to our adavantage too, we got a railroad, corned beef, hard-ass cops and one heck of a good springtime reason to party out of it.

If I secretly lust for all three of the Corr sisters, am I Irish after all?

You forgot Whiskey....
(waves fist..)
God Help you if you forget the Whiskey!

[Neil Gendzwill]

And Neil, didn't you listen to the World Service?I was talking about the newspapers available locally. BBC has an excellent news service.

But I still remember being there when they formally opened the Chunnel, and the headline in the paper was something to the effect that at last, Europe had easy access to the wonderfullness that is England.

[pgsmith]

... let me state that I am working on it, thanks.
Work harder! :)

[Paikea]

Please don't use this defense...(and stuff)You're not taking this whole discussion seriously, are you?

[pgsmith]

You're not taking this whole discussion seriously, are you?
Of course! All dese forners callin us stoopud jus ain rat!

[Kuma]

Serious? Man, if I couldn't laugh about this I'd go insane. As an American, if you ain't one a the stupid folk you do little more than joke about the stupid folk.

Take my country... please! :D

[PhilMcLaughlin]

I was talking about the newspapers available locally. BBC has an excellent news service.

But I still remember being there when they formally opened the Chunnel, and the headline in the paper was something to the effect that at last, Europe had easy access to the wonderfullness that is England.

yes, and your issue with this was ?????

;-)

[Obulco]

Take my country... please! :D

No problem. I already did. I just became a US citizen. One of the best decisions of my life, by the way. I hope the grass is greener wherever you go. :wink:

[Kuma]

I hope the grass is greener wherever you go. :wink:

Thanks, but the climate in much of Canada isn't necessarily conducive to growing pot.

[Maro]

Originally Posted by Neil Gendzwill http://www.kendo-world.com/forum/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.kendo-world.com/forum/showthread.php?p=238069#post238069)
I was talking about the newspapers available locally. BBC has an excellent news service.

But I still remember being there when they formally opened the Chunnel, and the headline in the paper was something to the effect that at last, Europe had easy access to the wonderfullness that is England.


Local newspapers in the UK are basically Council minutes with handyman ads in.

Most of our Newspapers are National - the UK doesn't really do State level govt like the USA and Australia. (The Welsh Assembly etc are still pretty new).

I agree there are plenty of Chavtastic residents who are not very world literate.

It's like all things nowadays - Tom Tom's are my favourite, the dumbing down of a useful skill. There goes Map reading.

[Washington]

Incredible. This reminds me of when I told someone I had visited family in New Jersey. They asked me if Jersey was next to California...

Reminds me of a guy my boss tells me about getting off the plane in Alaska and and telling the taxi driver, "I'm sorry, all I have is American money."

[Spendius]

How the hell do you guys know about Munster ??
The worst, imho, was thinking Israel is a muslim country...

[bullet08]

-who won the vietnam war?

coming from a french.. i find this rather funny. answer should have been 'i know it wasn't france'.

most people forget france was in french indochina war which ended in defeat of french force in 1954 costing over 10 billion dollars to france, and nearly 1 billon dollars in US-aids... where as in vietnam conflict that US was rather actively involved in, it was never a 'war' for US (congress did not declare war against north vietnam), and US force won all the major battles. dien bien phu comes to my mind (all due repect to french forces and vietnamese on both sides)..

pete

[Neil Gendzwill]

Local newspapers in the UK are basically Council minutes with handyman ads in.

Most of our Newspapers are National I was talking about the national papers. I don't expect much international news in the local papers in small town Cornwall. I was hoping for more than one page in a national UK paper though.

[PhilMcLaughlin]

I was talking about the national papers. I don't expect much international news in the local papers in small town Cornwall. I was hoping for more than one page in a national UK paper though.

Well, if you are going to read the STAR......... ;-)

[Ignatz]

. . .The worst, imho, was thinking Israel is a muslim country...
There's a bunch of folks in Palestine that think that is the right answer.

[tattooedasshole]

Thanks, but the climate in much of Canada isn't necessarily conducive to growing pot.
That's why we grow it in-doors.:tired:

[satsumaruma]

Woah children woah.

First, congrats to paikea, Kenzan Ignatz, Kuma and PgSmith for taking my comments in the spirit they were written. I couldn't give a chuff if Americans are cleverer or thicker than your average European. Why would it matter. What matters is decency and respect and friendliness and whole bunch of other stuff that sure isn't knowing if Belgium is a new kind of toffee.

Hank, Neil G oh dear, you should get a blow job- it will help you lighten up a bit.:scared:

Phil McL - Well it's what we have come to expect from you:nervous:

Think of it this way. My posting was the rod, my comments were the bait and you are now sat on the riverbank gasping for air. Way too easy. Hook line and sinker.

Oh and before you go and post something to the effect that I did not post it originally as humorous - oh yes I effing did.

No law says I have to use emoticons to help you out.

[satsumaruma]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Kuma again.

Sorry but I tried

[Kuma]

Hank, Neil G oh dear, you should get a blow job- it will help you lighten up a bit.:scared:

Ah! I see you know the secret to my utter lack of seriousness.

Fanks for the effort, Ruma.

Love, Kuma.

[Hank]

Hank[...]oh dear, you should get a blow job- it will help you lighten up a bit.:scared:

That's funny...I was getting one while I was writing that post. Guess what happened when I pushed send.

Really, though, I thought my post was pretty funny.

[ScottUK]

Damn, KW and BJs. If only you had a chicken sandwich, life would've been perfect...

[satsumaruma]

That's funny...I was getting one while I was writing that post. Guess what happened when I pushed send.



I hope you cleaned the screen afterwards:dog: :smoker:


Really, though, I thought my post was pretty funny.

Really? Did I miss something? wait here...I'll go check.

[PhilMcLaughlin]

Woah children woah.

First, congrats to paikea, Kenzan Ignatz, Kuma and PgSmith for taking my comments in the spirit they were written. I couldn't give a chuff if Americans are cleverer or thicker than your average European. Why would it matter. What matters is decency and respect and friendliness and whole bunch of other stuff that sure isn't knowing if Belgium is a new kind of toffee.

Hank, Neil G oh dear, you should get a blow job- it will help you lighten up a bit.:scared:

Phil McL - Well it's what we have come to expect from you:nervous:

Think of it this way. My posting was the rod, my comments were the bait and you are now sat on the riverbank gasping for air. Way too easy. Hook line and sinker.

Oh and before you go and post something to the effect that I did not post it originally as humorous - oh yes I effing did.

No law says I have to use emoticons to help you out.

perhaps ive just got low tolerance for ignorance

[ScottUK]

I hope you cleaned the screen afterwards:dog: :smoker: Isn't that what the mrs is there for? :D

[Kuma]

Isn't that what the mrs is there for? :D

Oh, was the Mrs. there too?

[ScottUK]

Hopefully Hank's mrs... :)

[Kaarel]

hahahahahaha I just can´t...Like you ask a person where was the Berlin wall? and he doesn´t know the answer.hahaha or how many worldwars has there been? well i am glad there has been 2 not 3. hahahaha!!! Or is Star Wars a true story and he says true hahaha!!!! How many sides does a triangle have.... doesn´t have?1? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! guys please do you need some help? I would be happy to help some of you because I do not want to believe all of you are like that? but Kenzan think again is that all you know about Britain? that they speak funny and drink a lot of tea? HAHAHAha!!! May I correct you that the British speak correctly and You speak funny. MATE!!! hahahahaha

[Kenzan]

Dear World:

All your base are belong to us.

Love,

The U.S. of "YEEEE-HAAAWWWWWWW!!" America.

[Ignatz]

. . . May I correct you that the British speak correctly and You speak funny. . .
And they were always sooooooo polite when they were trying to murder my ancestors. Most of them couldn't tell you who is buried in Grant's Tomb.
As for the US folks, I think it is important to have a good supply of deltas, somebody needs to do the menial jobs.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Kaarel]

no like really i can help you:D hahahaha

[Kenzan]

but Kenzan think again is that all you know about Britain? that they speak funny and drink a lot of tea?

Why, heavens no!
The British are quite also famous for:

* Fine, mouth-watering World Class Cuisine.
* Pristine oral fitness.
* Absolute humility with interpersonal relations.
* Warm Hugs
* Outstanding practicality in the naming of various units of measurement.
* Gracious, compassionate, and might I add, most culture-tolerant.

:silly: :silly: :silly:
:D

[ScottUK]

Nice to know that Kenzan mkI is still with us. Long live the Michiyo. May your state fall into the ocean.

[Paikea]

Topic overspeed, radial fragmentation imminent, request immediate shutdown...

[Decado]

Why, heavens no!
The British are quite also famous for:

* Fine, mouth-watering World Class Cuisine.

:D

This from the country that gave us McDonalds and that stupid clown that goes with it!

[Neil Gendzwill]

Topic overspeed, radial fragmentation imminent, request immediate shutdown...
In the flame section, SOP, request denied...

[Kenzan]

...and that stupid clown that goes with it!

~You leave Geo. Bush out of this.
(On second thought....)

[Paikea]

In the flame section, SOP, request denied...Well then... pop a beer, move off a respectable distance and watch it explode!

[Neil Gendzwill]

I was bored today anyhow...

[Decado]

~You leave Geo. Bush out of this.
(On second thought....)

Hi Kenzan

Brilliant reply! We have George W Bush's poodle as our Prime Minister! Rather have Ronald McDonald - hang on a minute, we are going to get him - Gordon Brown! OMG!

[Obukan_dude]

Hi Kenzan

Brilliant reply! We have George W Bush's poodle as our Prime Minister! Rather have Ronald McDonald - hang on a minute, we are going to get him - Gordon Brown! OMG!
Hey!!! You need to leave Ronald out of this!!!:angry: :D
(On second thought...):D :D

[Kenzan]

E-vile (http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f279/alienluvrs/evil-ronald.jpg)
:evil:

Must not sleep, clowns will eat me....

[Paikea]

E-vile (http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f279/alienluvrs/evil-ronald.jpg)
:evil:

Must not sleep, clowns will eat me....Warning: Thread Drift.
So...is ScottUK correct in his assertion that you are a later incarnation of Michiyo Akimoto?

[Kuma]

E-vile (http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f279/alienluvrs/evil-ronald.jpg)
:evil:

Must not sleep, clowns will eat me....

Dear god! I'm even SUPER-SIZED! AHHH!

[Thunder]

That was some funny stuff....you have to be able to laugh at yourself before you can truly laugh at others.

One thing is for certain.

Stupidity is universal.

The one rule of design: Never underestimate the stupidity of a human being.

We go dynamite fishing, we need instructions on our shampoo, "do not ingest" warnings on chemicals...

Humans are one of the most intelligent animals, but our intelligence leads us to do the most stupid feats.

As the old joke goes....."what are the last words of a redneck?" "Hey--Watch THIS!" (redneck-hick accent applied)

[Spendius]

Stupidity is universal.


Hehe. The guy writing "totally foolproof" on an object underestimates the ingeniosity of a total fool :)

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Hehe. The guy writing "totally foolproof" on an object underestimates the ingeniosity of a total fool :)
like us developers say:

"Make a system foolproof, and they'll give you a bigger fool"

you should never underestimate the creativity of the fool :)

[Ignatz]

This from the country that gave us McDonalds and that stupid clown that goes with it!
If you people didn't eat it there wouldn't be any McDonalds would there. I don't even like driving past them they smell so bad.

[Decado]

If you people didn't eat it there wouldn't be any McDonalds would there. I don't even like driving past them they smell so bad.

Tell me about it! They reckon that in 20 years the UK will be the fattest nation on earth - and it's all down to fast food! Well, that and stuffing your face! And not doing any excercise! And drinking lots of good English beer!

[Kenzan]

Tell me about it! They reckon that in 20 years the UK will be the fattest nation on earth - and it's all down to fast food! Well, that and stuffing your face! And not doing any excercise! And drinking lots of good English beer!

You had me up until you wrote: "lots of good English beer."

ZzZzZing!
:laugh:

[ScottUK]

Yeah, like you know what good beer is. I don't drink anymore and I still have a better ale intake than you guys...

[Gessho]

even better, and this man is the leader of the free world ?

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/blbushisms.htm

Don't mistake an inability to speak well with a lack of intelligence.

[Kenzan]

Sierra Nevada Baby.

http://www.sierranevada.com/

Failing that, yeah, you sort of got us there.
American beer is for the most part, Cat Urine.
~But any swill we produce simply HAS to be better than that abomination of a beverage called NewCastle (http://www.newcastlebrown.com/).
Ye Gods! I mean, Budweiser..er..I mean SHOEPOLISH..tastes better than that fetid brine.....

[Gessho]

Sierra Nevada Baby.

http://www.sierranevada.com/

Failing that, yeah, you sort of got us there.
American beer is for the most part, Cat Urine.
~But any swill we produce simply HAS to be better than that abomination of a beverage called NewCastle (http://www.newcastlebrown.com/).
Ye Gods! I mean, Budweiser..er..I mean SHOEPOLISH..tastes better than that fetid brine.....

Let's not forget Stella Artois' fetid contribution....

[ender84567]

You have to give the English a lot of credit, I mean they held the torch for ale yeasts during the period of beer history where lager kinda took over the world, I can also appreciate a culture that passed a law prohibiting the bad mouthing of hops(never mind the ridiculous taxes they later imposed on them). Long live the IPA!

As for stupidity, its everywhere, I am a grading assistant for a course and you should see the way people bungle things that should be below a basic level in this particular college course.

[Maro]

Let's not forget Stella Artois' fetid contribution....

Which is Belgian.........

I used to look after cask-conditioned ales for a living. Whilst the USA has some admirable microbrews, the majority of your Beer is foul.

:p

[Kuma]

Don't mistake an inability to speak well with a lack of intelligence.

No, I associate a lack an inability to speak well despite Ivy League education with willful ignorance and a general anti-intellectualism. Bush was elected in the first place because people would rather have a beer with him than Gore. I'm not saying that he is stupid. He simply doesn't give two shits about what he says, how he says it, or how silly his affected "Texan" accent makes him sound. He's a fake and a wannabe hillbilly, and worse than that, he is an ignorant man who knows better. Bush kind of sums up the States right now, doesn't he?

Is that better than making fun of how bad he is at expressing himself?

[Kuma]

Oh, I forgot. If you wanna hear just how eloquent and well-spoken he can be, get him on the subject of killing. Death penalty, wars against brown people, etc. He gets on a roll, and I've never heard him trip over his own tongue once when he gets rolling on the subject of killing people that he thinks deserve it.

Ladies and gentlemen, the leader of the free world...

[satsumaruma]

American beer is for the most part, Cat Urine.
~But any swill we produce simply HAS to be better than that abomination of a beverage called NewCastle (http://www.newcastlebrown.com/).
Ye Gods! I mean, Budweiser..er..I mean SHOEPOLISH..tastes better than that fetid brine.....

Newky Broon is very very sweet and tends to be drunk by the yobbish element of our society ( or the very educated, paradoxically).

Now, here is something that you may or may not know. Cask ales and beers are less likely to induce a hangover than most lagers. Why? Because they tend to have fewer/no chemical additives.

Lagers tend to be awash with all kinds of that shit - the exception tends to be Czech beers which are still made traditionally.

If you do get a hangover from cask beer or ale then it is likely that the pumps have not been cleaned properly.

You see. I can give proper information and not just take the widdle out of you all. You just needed to find my kind of subject.


Ta Daaaa

[Kenzan]

An Irishman, a German, a Czech and a Dane were taking a stroll about London when they stopped to observe a sign advertising a local British Pub.

They all looked at one another, and knowing of course of the world renowned deliciousness of British beer, went inside, where they were greeted heartily by the barkeep.
Each of them ordered a pint of this miraculous, saintly, glowing liquid:

The Czech: Oh, how superbing is this! Much better is can produce by best of our brewmasters in our own land!

The German: Ja!!!, it eez like zere ist a parti kommen in mine mouth, and all ist velkomen!

The Irishman: Aye, I n'er woulda taught it's possible, but 'tis the elixer of the wee fairie folk it 'tis!

The Dane: I am very much liking tha why it matches my outfits! Splendid! Highly Mod! ~and it makes a huge shame to our own devices!

All together: Now that we have found the food of the Gods, we can die with joy!!!

They drank and drank, grew long, manly muscles and shining locks of hair on their heads, had clear complexions throughout, were sexually irresistible to both sexes, became filthy rich and generally lived happily ever after, knowing that they had achieved the zenith in beer-tasting tradition.
:D

[Kuma]

snip

Wuzn't there supposed to be a joke in there somewhere?

[pgsmith]

... or how silly his affected "Texan" accent makes him sound.
You got a problem with Texas accent yankee-boy?? :angry:

All Texans keep a list of people they figure need killing, it's tradition. Most keep their list to themselves though. :)

[Kuma]

You got a problem with Texas accent yankee-boy?? :angry:

So you are totally cool with folks from New England coming to town with pockets full of grand daddy's money and buying themselves a "ranch," working up a fake accent, and pretending to be cowboys? Then you can have him.

[Kenzan]

Wuzn't there supposed to be a joke in there somewhere?

Sigh.....
We're doomed...
:dead:

[pgsmith]

So you are totally cool with folks from New England coming to town with pockets full of grand daddy's money and buying themselves a "ranch," working up a fake accent, and pretending to be cowboys?
You're talking about 3/4 of the population of Texas right there. Starbuck's is everywhere now, and I just saw a "juice bar" going up on the corner. ... sigh ...

Then you can have him.
Shoot, I don't want him. He's just another rich, spoiled goober. Just be careful how you insult Texans though, or I'll have ta pull out a big ol can o' whoop-ass on ya!

Kenzan, sometime you just try too hard! :)

[Thunder]

Im sorry...but if we are in a beer-contest...I will have to say that
FAT TIRE is MUCH better than Stella, Sierra, Harp, Bass etc....

[Hank]

We have plenty of good beer in the US! Just last night I was drinking a Hoegaarden...

[pgsmith]

We have plenty of good beer in the US!
They all taste the same after the first 7 or 8! :D

[Kenzan]

They all taste the same after the first 7 or 8! :D

niiiiice.
:laugh:

[Kenzan]

Im sorry...but if we are in a beer-contest...I will have to say that
FAT TIRE is MUCH better than Stella, Sierra, Harp, Bass etc....

OOo! I totally forgot about Bass Ale. (http://www.bass.com/)..Mmmmmm...

Hey..wait a second....that's...that's...OH NO! British!

But...British beer is crap!....But Bass is good! But it's ...British! But..But..
*Snap!*
/* attempt to open cask for drinking */
FILE *fp = fopen("beername", "r");
/* if beer cannot be opened, print number consumed and fuzzy carbonated bubbles string */
if(fp == NULL)
printf("Cannot open zipper for urination, error %i, %s\n", errno, strerror(errno));

Aiiieeeeeeeee!
:confused2

Ok..So you guy got Bass Ale.
The laws of probability state that you can crap gold if you crap enough times.

Note for British Brewmasters:
Beer is made from Hopps, Barley and or other grains.
~Not the steamy sweatsocks of a highjacked Frenchman.:gasmask:
:evil:

[webjunkie401]

He gets on a roll, and I've never heard him trip over his own tongue once when he gets rolling on the subject of killing people that he thinks deserve it.

That should be people who he thinks deserve it. ;)


On the subject of beer I have only one word: Yuengling.

Oh, Yuengling, how I miss thee. Asahi Super Dry, you'll have to do.

[Decado]

OOo! I totally forgot about Bass Ale. (http://www.bass.com/)..Mmmmmm...

Hey..wait a second....that's...that's...OH NO! British!

But...British beer is crap!....But Bass is good! But it's ...British! But..But..
*Snap!*
/* attempt to open cask for drinking */
FILE *fp = fopen("beername", "r");
/* if beer cannot be opened, print number consumed and fuzzy carbonated bubbles string */
if(fp == NULL)
printf("Cannot open zipper for urination, error %i, %s\n", errno, strerror(errno));

Aiiieeeeeeeee!
:confused2

Ok..So you guy got Bass Ale.
The laws of probability state that you can crap gold if you crap enough times.

Note for British Brewmasters:
Beer is made from Hopps, Barley and or other grains.
~Not the steamy sweatsocks of a highjacked Frenchman.:gasmask:
:evil:

Most French beer is crap. Belgian beer (in Belgium) is pretty good. Stella is crap though.

You've discovered Bass beer. Well done. At least your taste buds have had a treat. Try Marston Pedigree, Ruddles County or Bathams. Pure nectar and do not drink cold. Don't judge us by that Nukey Pukey Brown stuff. Word of warning - don't drink too many of the above bitters. Even Bud here is twice the alcohol content it is in the US and the above are pretty strong. Or you could just go for Lees Moonraker which sorts out the hommes from the garcons!

[Hank]

Most French beer is crap. Belgian beer (in Belgium) is pretty good. Stella is crap though.

You've discovered Bass beer. Well done. At least your taste buds have had a treat. Try Marston Pedigree, Ruddles County or Bathams. Pure nectar and do not drink cold. Don't judge us by that Nukey Pukey Brown stuff. Word of warning - don't drink too many of the above bitters. Even Bud here is twice the alcohol content it is in the US and the above are pretty strong. Or you could just go for Lees Moonraker which sorts out the hommes from the garcons!Hmm - Bud is 5% abv here in the US. And all references I can find say it's 5% abv in Britain as well. It's also the #1 import bottle in Britain.

The "US beer is piss" argument is so 1990 - here in the northeast we have some of the best beer in the world, in my opinion. Most are little regional breweries and brewpubs that distribute within a short distance from their front door. But even on a more national scale, Dogfish Head brewery in Delaware, for one, has some amazing beer, although none could be considered session brews with the weakest one at 6% abv. And the Pacific Northwest has many great breweries. Personally, I think Bass tastes like just another mass-produced beer (crap), but maybe they cut the alcohol in half for distribution in the states.

[Decado]

Hmm - Bud is 5% abv here in the US. And all references I can find say it's 5% abv in Britain as well. It's also the #1 import bottle in Britain.

The "US beer is piss" argument is so 1990 - here in the northeast we have some of the best beer in the world, in my opinion. Most are little regional breweries and brewpubs that distribute within a short distance from their front door. But even on a more national scale, Dogfish Head brewery in Delaware, for one, has some amazing beer, although none could be considered session brews with the weakest one at 6% abv. And the Pacific Northwest has many great breweries. Personally, I think Bass tastes like just another mass-produced beer (crap), but maybe they cut the alcohol in half for distribution in the states.

Hank, I stand (well, sit) corrected! I must have had Bud in one of the temperance states!

I've also had some superb beers in the US from micro-breweries which were very similar to a good English bitter. Regarding Bass, did you have canned Bass because, quite frankly, that's gnat's piss compared to a good "pulled" pint in England. It also doesn't travel very well.

I think the issue is that most mass produced beers do not match up to the more "traditionally" brewed ones, no matter where they come from. Well, except France (quite good wine, but awful beer).

[Hank]

Hank, I stand (well, sit) corrected! I must have had Bud in one of the temperance states!

I've also had some superb beers in the US from micro-breweries which were very similar to a good English bitter. Regarding Bass, did you have canned Bass because, quite frankly, that's gnat's piss compared to a good "pulled" pint in England. It also doesn't travel very well.

I think the issue is that most mass produced beers do not match up to the more "traditionally" brewed ones, no matter where they come from. Well, except France (quite good wine, but awful beer).You replied way too nicely for the flames section. I've had bottled and draught Bass here in the US - I've never had it there. But I think you can taste a beer's basic character through the travel issues - and I just don't think Bass is that good. That said, I'm sure there are lots of small breweries making great beer in the UK. Personally, I'm saving up for a trip to Belgium.

[satsumaruma]

[QUOTE=Kenzan;240167]OOo! I totally forgot about Bass Ale. (http://www.bass.com/)..Mmmmmm...

Hey..wait a second....that's...that's...OH NO! British!



Aiiieeeeeeeee!
:confused2

QUOTE]

Bass is brewed not far from where I used to live. And it is considered the second best ale in the town. John Smiths cask Ales are considerably better.

And then there is Black Sheep..... and Theakstons,........ Castle Eden used to brew a nice drop....... Tetleys is decent.


Here's another thought that maybe all you bods can answer, does any country other than the UKofGB&NI produce such a diversity of beers.

As far as I have been able to work out all other countries produce either lagers (Budweiser, Stell, Heineken, Jupiler, San Miguel, Carlsberg, Kirrin, Tiger etc etc) or mead-type beers.

On the islands that actually once ran the planet (pretty much) we have a range of beers - Bitter, lager, ale, stout, pale ale, light ale, Mild, Heavy, Brown Ale and many more besides.

Now, before all you over-sensitive types get all uppity and think I am being anti-american ( and yes it usually is you who are waaay too sensitive) I am not. A lot of those I have just mentioned I don't like and think are too ghastly for words. I just wondered if other countries have similarly diverse brews.

[Decado]

Hey! We English guys are very polite and courteous. It's the rest of Europe that's the problem. They have no idea of queuing and speak kinda funny. Apart from that, they are fine!

Apart from the beer, food and a small part of Brussells, Belgium has to be the most boring place in the world. Drink enough Belgian beer, though, and you won't care less.

As for niceness, how about "Americans and culture in the same sentence - isn't that an oxymoron?". Is that better for the flames section? :laugh:

Cheers!

[Manuka]

Well I will second webjunkie401 on Yuengling, but am surprised given the thread degeneration to beers, and the proximity to St Paddie's day that there has been no mention of the elixir .. GUINESS !!

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Hey! We English guys are very polite and courteous. It's the rest of Europe that's the problem. They have no idea of queuing and speak kinda funny. Apart from that, they are fine!

Apart from the beer, food and a small part of Brussells, Belgium has to be the most boring place in the world. Drink enough Belgian beer, though, and you won't care less.

As for niceness, how about "Americans and culture in the same sentence - isn't that an oxymoron?". Is that better for the flames section? :laugh:

Cheers!


the real fun part of belgium is hidden underground!

whoops, now national securty will come and silence me. and probably force to make a post that says to ignore this one.

[Kaarel]

to Hank:: Hoegaarden isn´t US beer

British beer is good but what about German? Has anyone gotten a Belgium beer like Leffe?

[SmellsLikeBogu]

Hi,
There is no fun underground belgium. I was only joking around.
I am writing this out of my own free will, and not because there is a .50 against my temple. because there isnt. honestly.

No fun underground in belgium. not even an underground. not worth to come look for it, because you wont find it. because its not there. it really is not. so stay home.

got to go now,
you all have fun now and ignore my previous post with my lies.
goodbye

[Hank]

to Hank:: Hoegaarden isn´t US beer

I know - it was a joke.

As for Sats - we have all that and more in the US via the micro(and not-so-micro)breweries. And, like I said, I'm sure the beer in the UK is very good - I've never had it there.

[Kenzan]

I just wondered if other countries have similarly diverse brews.

Before there was Sierra Nevada, there was no Sierra Nevada.
After Sierra Nevada, there is no Sierra Nevada.
:old_man:

[Spendius]

Most French beer is crap.

Most, that might be true (quantity wise). Some of them are jewels
http://www.biere-france.com/brasserie.php?Id_brasserie=217

[Decado]

Most, that might be true (quantity wise). Some of them are jewels
http://www.biere-france.com/brasserie.php?Id_brasserie=217

Je pense que vous confondez une biere avec une derriere, n'est-ce pas?

It looks like our CAMRA organisation. Campaign for Real Ale. I prefer Belgian beer (Leffe Blonde and Brun, Kriek, etc.) to any of the French ones I have tried I'm afraid.

[satsumaruma]

Don't be afraid of French beer.

Just be afraid of Frenchmen after you have insulted their beer:ko:

[Decado]

Don't be afraid of French beer.

Just be afraid of Frenchmen after you have insulted their beer:ko:

Pourquoi, mon ami?

[ScottUK]

If I can remember that far back, I recall Kronenberg 1664 was a good attempt at lager.

[kim]

Conversation turned to beer.* ears swivel* Now your talking. Blacksheep ale not bad. Spitfire ok. But ya really want a beer you need a Bishops finger.:ko: Hic...

[Maro]

If I can remember that far back, I recall Kronenberg 1664 was a good attempt at lager.

Whilst it is a lovely drop, I can tell you for a fact that unscrupulous landlords will pour dregs back into the Kronenbourg barrels for "last orders" as it generally the darkest lager available.

We used to call it Kronyheinestellaberger!

:eek:

[satsumaruma]

Also found a nice drop o' beer in Somerset called 6X

Which was a good job because everything else we tried down there was soapwater.

[kim]

Now the Italians make a wine called Le Fiat Door and we have a wine called Old git (red) and Old Tart (white) there's also a beer called Fiddlers Elbow. Anyone else with some good named local brews?

[ScottUK]

Dunno about the name, but I loved the logo for the Firkin Brewery's 'Dogbolter (http://www.breweriana.co.uk/bb/Firkin%20-%20Dogbolter.jpg)'... :)

[A Wadlow]

hold on hold on.... So everyone hates america now? When did that happen? I thought we were still all ment to hate German and the French for being too accomadating of the latter. Oh and for giving the world french rap. Thats a good reason to hate a nation.

[Nakura]

For being both French and American, I will disembowl myself. Kaishaku please form an orderly line...:p

[Kyung]

hold on hold on.... So everyone hates america now? When did that happen? I thought we were still all ment to hate German and the French for being too accomadating of the latter. Oh and for giving the world french rap. Thats a good reason to hate a nation.


French rap? Dear lord. I was having a good day until I read that.
I think rap in general sounds weird in foreign languages. It's just not natural.
I wish people would just listen to Hamma time and be happy about it. No reason to further pursue the matter.

I never tried French beer...and for some reason I am not dying to either. I usually stick to German beer or Guiness or some obscure micro brewer brand or at least i think they are. Spaten Optimator yum yum

[kim]

hold on hold on.... So everyone hates america now? When did that happen? I thought we were still all ment to hate German and the French for being too accomadating of the latter. Oh and for giving the world french rap. Thats a good reason to hate a nation.

Ah France; puts the silent C into rap..:laugh:

[Decado]

hold on hold on.... So everyone hates america now? When did that happen? I thought we were still all ment to hate German and the French for being too accomadating of the latter. Oh and for giving the world french rap. Thats a good reason to hate a nation.

I think we dislike the French for being, well, French. Is another reason required:puzzled:

Don't dislike the Germans at all. Great food and a sense of humour that is the envy of the world!

[Kuma]

People only hate the French cuz they're beautiful and thin. Y'all are jealous. Of course, from that description, you'd never guess my French ancestry.

As for the French rap, if you don't appreciate rap, you'll hate it. If you do appreciate rap, you'll be amazed at the creativity and versatility of French rappers and hip hop artists. They draw upon a breadth of influences that puts American sampling to shame.

And if you have to ask why so many around the world hate the States, you'll never understand.

[Decado]

People only hate the French cuz they're beautiful and thin. Y'all are jealous. Of course, from that description, you'd never guess my French ancestry.

As for the French rap, if you don't appreciate rap, you'll hate it. If you do appreciate rap, you'll be amazed at the creativity and versatility of French rappers and hip hop artists. They draw upon a breadth of influences that puts American sampling to shame.

And if you have to ask why so many around the world hate the States, you'll never understand.

Not all French people are beautiful and thin - but then, being English, I shouldn't cast the first stone should I.

French rap is akin to French pop music - only French people appreciate it.

We Brits are supposed to be all lovey-dovey with the States with that "special" relationship we enjoy. Personally, I just think Tony Blair was walking just behind George Dubblya when Georgie stopped suddenly. Now Tony can't get his head out of Dubblya's arse.:eek:

[Paikea]

Now Tony can't get his head out of Dubblya's arse.:eek:We have a popular bumper-sticker here: "Is it 2008 yet?" (in fact, it's January 20th 2009 at about 12:10PM we're waiting for, but that's not catchy).

[ghostdancer]

We have a popular bumper-sticker here: "Is it 2008 yet?" (in fact, it's January 20th 2009 at about 12:10PM we're waiting for, but that's not catchy).

Do you really believe Dubbya is going to go into the night that easily ?

any more than that poodle Blair is going to hand over to Brown anytime soon either ?

no fecking chance

[Neil Gendzwill]

Do you really believe Dubbya is going to go into the night that easily ?He has to. American law is that he only gets two terms. Best he can do is try to put his brother or some other crony into office.

[Kuma]

I don't think that Jeb has even announced an exploratory committee yet, and I'm not sure if he intends to. I personally think that the Republicans don't have a candidate that they can agree on, even with the mobilizing force of having to oppose a potential second Clinton presidency.

Of course, Republicans will tell you that they are thinking long term. The '16 elections are theirs!

[A Wadlow]

AHHH lets turn this into a massive PRO/ANTI war thread! That would be new and refreshing. Who cares, they have to be fighting someone to be happy, lets just thank what ever god you think about that they aren't bombing us... well… not too much anyway.

I like germans actually despite my previous post. Good country/beer/ladies/food/organisational skills, but I can't say I have ever seen a german smile.

[Paikea]

...but I can't say I have ever seen a german smile.I have moving pictures of one in a rural Japanese theater, smiling and singing "das wanderlust" for an astonished crowd. No photoshop or anything. Does anybody in Mainz know my friend Ruediger?

[A Wadlow]

Does anybody in Mainz know my friend Ruediger?

I think I met him in Cork (Ireland) during the Irish Nationals. He came over to me after I had fought *caugh*and won*caugh*. He congratulated me on my sense of humour as the only thing he had seen of me before meeting me was my Top Trump (http://www.kendo.uclu.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php?n=TopTrumps.AnthonyWadlow).

[Paikea]

I think I met him in Cork (Ireland) during the Irish Nationals. He came over to me after I had fought *caugh*and won*caugh*. He congratulated me on my sense of humour as the only thing he had seen of me before meeting me was my Top Trump (http://www.kendo.uclu.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php?n=TopTrumps.AnthonyWadlow).That's him! Wonderful guy, we really miss him here in Portland. Like fighting a train. I must post this video then...

[A Wadlow]

I do actualy want to go to america soon, see the sights, travel and do kendo around canada and the states. But I will be starting a thread about that later on. So im going to be nice to you all.

U S A
U S A
U S A !

[Decado]

AHHH lets turn this into a massive PRO/ANTI war thread! That would be new and refreshing. Who cares, they have to be fighting someone to be happy, lets just thank what ever god you think about that they aren't bombing us... well… not too much anyway.

I like germans actually despite my previous post. Good country/beer/ladies/food/organisational skills, but I can't say I have ever seen a german smile.

Despite my maybe sarcastic last post (sarcasm - it's something Brits are good at) I do like Germans and Germany. And they do have a sense of humour! And I have seen Germans smile!

Example of German joke - Ein Pferd geht in einen Bar. Fragt der Barmann "Warum das lange Gesicht?".

Okay, it's not good but they laugh their socks off at that one!

And just to balance things out for our Germanic cousins - a definition of the Swiss: Exactly the same as Germans, but without the sense of humour!

[satsumaruma]

a definition of the Swiss: Exactly the same as Germans, but without the sense of humour!

When I was in Sweden a few years back and got talking to some Nowegians and they told exactly the same joke but about the Swedes. I laughed politely but not too loudly - we were in Stockholm after all.

On the French; I think they are bloody brilliant. They make the English language sound great.They smoke too much, drink too much and are generally healthy. And best of all th general populace have their government scared shitless. Anything they are not happy with and they burn lots of things, close all their airports and Air Traffic Control Centres and heave a huge Gallic shrug. What do other western countries do when they are unhappy with Governmental decisions?

The British moan whilst they form an orderly queue for something.

Vive La France ( and I am not being sarcastic)

Oh and they have the best National Anthem.

[ScottUK]

I like the Dutch. Never met a more mental race of people... :)

[satsumaruma]

I've sometimes wondered why 'Dutch' is used in a negative sense

"Dutch treat", "Dutch courage", "going Dutch" etc
Anyone know how/why this came about.

[Paikea]

"Pass the Dutchie" was a happy song. Musical Youth, I believe it was...

[satsumaruma]

Yes,and that is about drugs.
Something else not praising the Dutch people.

[Fonsz]

I've sometimes wondered why 'Dutch' is used in a negative sense

"Dutch treat", "Dutch courage", "going Dutch" etc
Anyone know how/why this came about.
I think it has something to do that there used to be quite a big Dutch community in the US. The Dutch are not very well known for their generosity. Hence Dutch treat, going Dutch. Not sure about Dutch Courage though.
Around New York State there are many Dutch sounding places(Brooklyn = Breukelen) and family names. President Roosevelt (Franklin D.) was of Dutch descent. Until the twenties of the last century there were communities in and around Michigan that were predominantly Dutch and the language was Dutch.
Then again when people are called "Dutch" in the US they could also be of German descent as in "Deutsch" which means German. I'm sure that the negative connotation started when people meant "Deutsch" and not the folks from Holland.:ditsy:
Now what will my German friends make of this:paranoid::cheeky:???

[Kenzan]

Now what will my German friends make of this:paranoid::cheeky:???

If they do, just make Dutch peace by schmoking a big fat überdoobie in an Amsterdam Cafe.
:D

[Paikea]

I'm sure that the negative connotation started when people meant "Deutsch" and not the folks from Holland.:ditsy:
Now what will my German friends make of this?I don't know, but that was nicely played Fonz.

[Hank]

I like the Dutch. Never met a more mental race of people... :)I wholeheartedly agree. I'm usually suspicious of generalizations, but every Dutch person I've met (7) has been a blast to hang out with...and mental. Not to mention the fact that the Dutch language sounds like English spoken backwards - always a buzz-enhancer, even if you're not imbibing.

[Kenzan]

I've found that the English are the most mental I've met.
:D

[Decado]

I wholeheartedly agree. I'm usually suspicious of generalizations, but every Dutch person I've met (7) has been a blast to hang out with...and mental. Not to mention the fact that the Dutch language sounds like English spoken backwards - always a buzz-enhancer, even if you're not imbibing.

That's because English and Dutch have a common ancestor - based on the German language. Scandinavian languages also come from the same root. So, we have more in common with the Germans than people thought, nicht wahr meine Freunde! Ve haf vays of making you understand!

[ScottUK]

Hehe - citations required, Mr Kenz... :)

[Paikea]

Hehe - citations required, Mr Kenz... :)Your ancestors were all Normans anyway.

[ScottUK]

Thank (select your god) that the Normans weren't French.

Or American... :D

[h2o]

When I was in Sweden a few years back and got talking to some Nowegians and they told exactly the same joke but about the Swedes. I laughed politely but not too loudly - we were in Stockholm after all. What? Well, the norwegians are hillariously funny! I can barely hold myself from laughing as soon as they open their mouth. I am still convinced that it is technically impossible to sound angry in norwegian ;)

Also, Monty Python's "Life of Brian" was marketed in Sweden as "The movie that is so funny it was forbidden in Norway" (which is true).
Out of Europe I still think Sweden, the UK and Norway are the top 3 in the world of having a sense of humour. ;)

[Decado]

Thank (select your god) that the Normans weren't French.

Or American... :D

Hey, Scott, you are confusing our American cousins! 1066 and all that!

[Paikea]

Thank (select your god) that the Normans weren't French.

Or American... :DConfused? Hardly, in 1066 my relatives put the arrow in Harold's eye. Scott is one of the long-lost red-headed stepchildren we left behind.

[Decado]

Confused? Hardly, in 1066 my relatives put the arrow in Harold's eye. Scott is one of the long-lost red-headed stepchildren we left behind.

You are of Scaninavian descent? How come Scott isn't blonde then?

[ScottUK]

I am. I dyed it brown - artificial intelligence, see...? :D

[Kenzan]

You are of Scaninavian descent? How come Scott isn't blonde then?

I just KNEW that the carpet didn't match the drapes with that one!
:eek:

[ScottUK]

The San Andreas fault is my friend.

[Kenzan]

The San Andreas fault is my friend.

You have friends?
:shocked:
LOL

J/K

[Obukan_dude]

The San Andreas fault is my friend.
So, it's your fault. :D

[Kyung]

What? Well, the norwegians are hillariously funny! I can barely hold myself from laughing as soon as they open their mouth. I am still convinced that it is technically impossible to sound angry in norwegian ;)

Also, Monty Python's "Life of Brian" was marketed in Sweden as "The movie that is so funny it was forbidden in Norway" (which is true).
Out of Europe I still think Sweden, the UK and Norway are the top 3 in the world of having a sense of humour. ;)

Being an American (I guess), I am not too familiar with the Swedes and Norge sense of humor. But I did enjoy Monty Python. I don't think I've ever met anyone from Nordweg.

I think Germans are funny too. And their language never sounds angry. Oh yeah.

[Fonsz]

Being an American (I guess), I am not too familiar with the Swedes and Norge sense of humor. But I did enjoy Monty Python. I don't think I've ever met anyone from Nordweg.

I think Germans are funny too. And their language never sounds angry. Oh yeah.
People from Norway are Norwegian............And when Germans are angry it doesn't sound funny anymore. We have experienced this some sixty years ago.:rolleyes:

[Kenzan]

Being an American (I guess), I am not too familiar with the Swedes and Norge sense of humor.

They have humor which is beyond measure.
I mean, Have you seen their cars?
:D

[Kyung]

People from Norway are Norwegian............And when Germans are angry it doesn't sound funny anymore. We have experienced this some sixty years ago.:rolleyes:

lol I know I was being sarcastic. Part of the reason why I want to change my gihap to German lol. So far, I suck too much for it to have any meaning yet.



They have humor which is beyond measure.
I mean, Have you seen their cars?

They do look kinda funny. Volvo is quite humorous. They're good cars from what my friend says.
What kind of funnies do they make on a regular basis?

[Ignatz]

Ollie and Lena, who are of Swedish extraction and now live in Minneapolis, Minnesota (yeah gophers, rah) got married and were taking a bus trip to Duluth for their honneymoon. The bus was mostly filled with hunters, also on their way to Duluth.
Well, doncha know, the bus breaks down and Ollie, Lena and all of the hunters get off. Ollie says to Lena, "Lena, let's go into the woods and do it". Lena says, "No Ollie, we promised mama we wouldn't do it until we got to Duluth".
Well they fix the bus and off they go. After a while, the bus, she breaks down again and Ollie again says "Let's go into the woods and do it". Lena again tells him about their promise to mama that they wouldn't do it until they got to Duluth.
Well they fix the bus and off they go.
Doncha know, this happens another couple two three times and finally Lena says, "Ollie, let's go off into the woods and do it"
Ollie says "Ok but what about our promise to mama that we wouldn't do it until we got to Duluth?"
Lean says "Yah Oliie that's right, but I just heard the hunters say that if we didn't get to Duluth soon the f@#king season will be over."

[h2o]

They have humor which is beyond measure.
I mean, Have you seen their cars?
:D
Nah, as far as I know there is no swedish car anymore. You bastards bought all of them and look what happened! ;)


But yes, we have humour beyond measure, that is true. Although we are slightly less fun than George W Bush. Have you ever heard him speak? Hillarious! :rolleyes:

[Kenzan]

Nah, as far as I know there is no swedish car anymore. You bastards bought all of them and look what happened! ;)



Yep.
That's thar's some mighteh CRAPTASTIC (http://prelude.home.mindspring.com/ikeame.jpg)furniture ya'll're producin' o'er there in Chocolaty-Goodness-land.
:D

[h2o]

Yep.
That's thar's some mighteh CRAPTASTIC (http://prelude.home.mindspring.com/ikeame.jpg)furniture ya'll're producin' o'er there in Chocolaty-Goodness-land.
:D
You are just being irritated that a hillbilly from Sweden created the world's largest furniture producer :P

Actually I think most of the furniture in our apartment are from IKEA. Good stuff for a low price and I can take most of it on the bus since it is disassembled. Go Swedish innovations!

[Decado]

Being an American (I guess), I am not too familiar with the Swedes and Norge sense of humor. But I did enjoy Monty Python. I don't think I've ever met anyone from Nordweg.

I think Germans are funny too. And their language never sounds angry. Oh yeah.

The German language is not as good as Dutch. Sounds like someone is coughing and clearing their throat. Lovely people though - they all speak great English.

Flemish is weird though. If you listen very carefully it sounds like a very peculiar form of English (actually it's the same language as Dutch but without the throat clearing). Not sure I'd want to be a Flem though :silly:

[Decado]

You are just being irritated that a hillbilly from Sweden created the world's largest furniture producer :P

Actually I think most of the furniture in our apartment are from IKEA. Good stuff for a low price and I can take most of it on the bus since it is disassembled. Go Swedish innovations!

IKEA is everywhere in England! Very cheap stuff, some of which looks quite strange. Must be all those dark cold nights in the Swedish winter. They spend all their time designing strange furniture - well, it's too expensive to drink there and you need something else to do after the sauna with Ulrika!

[Kenzan]

You are just being irritated that a hillbilly from Sweden created the world's largest furniture producer :P

You mean, he created China?
LOL
:D



Actually I think most of the furniture in our apartment are from IKEA. Good stuff for a low price and I can take most of it on the bus since it is disassembled. Go Swedish innovations!

I curse that little allen-wrench thingee and the always missing 1 &*^&%& screw, AND the excellent paper instructions which I only read after building/Re-building/Destroying that freaking bookshelf 16 TIMES!
:mad:

It's enough to make Blow up furniture (http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/2f/d7/kifmToysAllTony_Development___Mfg_Ltd_Inflatable_F urniture_Set1-resized200.jpg) look attractive..
(Which I think Ikea also sells.)
:D

[Gessho]

You are just being irritated that a hillbilly from Sweden created the world's largest furniture producer :P

Actually I think most of the furniture in our apartment are from IKEA. Good stuff for a low price and I can take most of it on the bus since it is disassembled. Go Swedish innovations!

I love Swedes. Some of my best friends are Swedes...though no one from Ikea, regrettably.:wink:

[h2o]

You mean, he created China?
LOL
:D
Yes, but sadly this is not widely known. The great wall is one of their bigger items. Unfortunately it went out of stock. Guess it might have been hard to take those packages on the bus as well...




I curse that little allen-wrench thingee and the always missing 1 &*^&%& screw, AND the excellent paper instructions which I only read after building/Re-building/Destroying that freaking bookshelf 16 TIMES!
:mad: You have just had to little practice :P

[h2o]

I love Swedes. Some of my best friends are Swedes...though no one from Ikea, regrettably.:wink:
Hehe, the funniest part about IKEA is that it actually originated from a small town in the deep forests. The headquarters are still located there in a town of approximately 8000 inhabitants. I think that is quite nice :)

[Kenzan]

The headquarters are still located there in a town of approximately 8000 inhabitants. I think that is quite nice :)

Says the guy from the country with the highest standard of living in the world. ~Meanwhile, the rest of us uncouth, practically 3rd world denizens by comparison wallow in our own filth.
Hey UP YOURS Erik! I hope you choke on your stinkin' utopian liederhosen!!
LOL
:D :D

grumble, grumble....and I'll bet the chocolate is all bitter and dry too.....

[Alison2805]

hehehe, I got a futon from IKEA and nearly rang the helpline to abuse them for being stupid, when I realised (eventually) that the reason the screws wouldnt fit was my own fault..... I had the damn thing upside down.

Im a big fan of blowup furniture - great for the pool!

[Ignatz]

. . .Im a big fan of blowup furniture - great for the pool!
Blow up girlfriends are very popular in Japan. The big problem is stealing enough underwear to outfit them.:rolleyes:

[Obukan_dude]

Blow up girlfriends are very popular in Japan. The big problem is stealing enough underwear to outfit them.:rolleyes:
Not really. Let us not forget the infamous schoolgirl panty vending machines...:D :o

http://www.photomann.com/japan/machines/bizarrex.jpg

[h2o]

Says the guy from the country with the highest standard of living in the world. ~Meanwhile, the rest of us uncouth, practically 3rd world denizens by comparison wallow in our own filth.
Hey UP YOURS Erik! I hope you choke on your stinkin' utopian liederhosen!!
LOL
:D :D

grumble, grumble....and I'll bet the chocolate is all bitter and dry too.....

Haha, my name is not Erik though ;)
And why do everyone think we have lederhosen? You are thinking of the germans my friend. Ugly pants, nice chocolate :)

[Kyung]

The German language is not as good as Dutch. Sounds like someone is coughing and clearing their throat. Lovely people though - they all speak great English.


I thought that was French? They sound congested and at the same time trying to clear the throat

[Hank]

Flemish is weird though. If you listen very carefully it sounds like a very peculiar form of English (actually it's the same language as Dutch but without the throat clearing). Maybe that's why they're flemish.

[Decado]

I thought that was French? They sound congested and at the same time trying to clear the throat

That's because of all those Gauloises they smoke! And that's just the women!

[Kenzan]

Haha, my name is not Erik though ;)


(Homer Simpson voice with raised threatening fist..)
"Oh yes it is!!!"
:D



And why do everyone think we have lederhosen?


The picture on my Hot-chocolate box clearly shows a Swiss dude in the mountains, yodeling and wearing Lederhosen.

-Therefore, we can logically deduce that you ALL live in the Alps, blow on enormous horns, and wear pantyhose. Duuh!
:D

[Decado]

Maybe that's why they're flemish.

Yeah! They have got rid of all the phlegm so don't need to clear their throats. Perhaps they should be called Flemless :smiley: . Okay, crap joke but it's been a hard day. TGIF is all I can say!

[Decado]

The picture on my Hot-chocolate box clearly shows a Swiss dude in the mountains, yodeling and wearing Lederhosen.

-Therefore, we can logically deduce that you ALL live in the Alps, blow on enormous horns, and wear pantyhose. Duuh!
:D

Oh boy! That is really going to piss the Swedes off! Being confused with the Swiss. Only a few hundred miles separating the two countries as well as different languages, no Alps, yodelling or Lederhosen. Better looking women in Sweden as well. Beer's about the same price though.:silly:

[Kenzan]

Oh boy! That is really going to piss the Swedes off! Being confused with the Swiss. Only a few hundred miles separating the two countries as well as different languages, no Alps, yodelling or Lederhosen. Better looking women in Sweden as well. Beer's about the same price though.:silly:

Look, I think I'm more qualified to tell him about his culture than he is.
After all, I'm an American.
:D

While I'm at it, let's just set the record straight, and provide the Empire's citizenry with the information that the good ol' U.S. of A teaches to all it's children, with an educational system which is second to none.

Germans:Sausages, VW's, Techno music, Math professors and Nazis

Russians: Godless Commies, liars, and Spies. There is no color at all in the country, and Vodka runs in the streets. The women are all 7 feet tall.

French: Snooty fops who smoke too much, lean against lamp posts, wear berets and smell like bad cheese. Often seen running away from sudden, loud noises. All love Jerry Lewis. Charlie Brown visited here once. There be Artists here.

Italians: Where Pizza comes from. Hairy Pope-fearing, well dressed Mobsters who all look like Super Mario. The whole country is sinking.

English: The wig-wearing guys we kicked out of America, then were generous enough to bail out of WW2. Massive overbites, eaters of organ meats, and skin so white that Dracula is like: "Damn! You dudes are white!" There is Tea here.

Dutch: Hashheads. The lot of them. And the whole country is made from Legos.

Spainish: Were Mexicans come from.

Danes: Where Danishes come from.

Austria: The homeland of our illustrious Govonator. (All hail the burly one)

Poland: The place where jokes come from. Also Sausages.

Greece: Guys with dresses and pompoms on their feet. Old crumbly buildings.
Lots of naked blasphemous statues. Neptune and Sparticus lives here.

Ireland: Leprechauns, singing, violent red-haired boxers, green stuff and drunks. Lots of 4 leaf clovers everywhere.

Scotland: Where Duncan Mcloud, of the Clan McCloud comes from. Everyone wears kilts and carries a Claymore. Loch Ness Monsters and Fried Sheep stomachs. Golf.

There you have it.
Any Questions?
:D

[ScottUK]

Sure.

When is California due to 'do an Atlantis'...?

[Decado]

Look, I think I'm more qualified to tell him about his culture than he is.
After all, I'm an American.
:D

While I'm at it, let's just set the record straight, and provide the Empire's citizenry with the information that the good ol' U.S. of A teaches to all it's children, with an educational system which is second to none.

Germans:Sausages, VW's, Techno music, Math professors and Nazis

Russians: Godless Commies, liars, and Spies. There is no color at all in the country, and Vodka runs in the streets. The women are all 7 feet tall.

French: Snooty fops who smoke too much, lean against lamp posts, wear berets and smell like bad cheese. Often seen running away from sudden, loud noises. All love Jerry Lewis. Charlie Brown visited here once. There be Artists here.

Italians: Where Pizza comes from. Hairy Pope-fearing, well dressed Mobsters who all look like Super Mario. The whole country is sinking.

English: The wig-wearing guys we kicked out of America, then were generous enough to bail out of WW2. Massive overbites, eaters of organ meats, and skin so white that Dracula is like: "Damn! You dudes are white!" There is Tea here.

Dutch: Hashheads. The lot of them. And the whole country is made from Legos.

Spainish: Were Mexicans come from.

Danes: Where Danishes come from.

Austria: The homeland of our illustrious Govonator. (All hail the burly one)

Poland: The place where jokes come from. Also Sausages.

Greece: Guys with dresses and pompoms on their feet. Old crumbly buildings.
Lots of naked blasphemous statues. Neptune and Sparticus lives here.

Ireland: Leprechauns, singing, violent red-haired boxers, green stuff and drunks. Lots of 4 leaf clovers everywhere.

Scotland: Where Duncan Mcloud, of the Clan McCloud comes from. Everyone wears kilts and carries a Claymore. Loch Ness Monsters and Fried Sheep stomachs. Golf.

There you have it.
Any Questions?
:D

Who are you calling wig-wearing?

Anyway, I thought you were supposed to take the piss out of other nationalities in the flames forum, not state the facts of how the other European nations are :happy:

Scottish joke: Is anything worn under the kilt? Och, no! Everything's in pairfect working order. laddie! Awa' we' ye! Otherwise I'll sick wee Duncan on yee. He's immortal yee know and a dab hand we' one of those wee samoree swords. Och aye the noo! It's a braw, maunlicht nicht, the nicht!

Great people the Scots and they make the best (only) whisky in the world!

[Blamps]

English: The wig-wearing guys we kicked out of America, then were generous enough to bail out of WW2. Massive overbites, eaters of organ meats, and skin so white that Dracula is like: "Damn! You dudes are white!" There is Tea here.:D

You forgot to mention the Isle of Man and Wales. Homosexuality was banned in the Isle of man until the late 1980s and the police used to birch naughty kids until 1994. People are generally inbred and represent living proof of man coming from the apes. In Wales, they are usually cave-dwellers (trogs) who come out at night and abuse the local valley's sheep population. Can be referred to as valley pikies or valley commandos.

[Kenzan]

You forgot to mention the Isle of Man and Wales.

Americans have never heard of it.
Therefore naturally it does not exist.
:wink:

But deep in the Scholarly annals of our greatest libraries, I was able to find only two single entries:

Isle of Man; There's a dude there all by himself. And he's all man, Man.

Wales: There are Whales here. hence the name.

Geeze. Must we Americans explain everything to you people?
:silly:

[Decado]

You forgot to mention the Isle of Man and Wales. Homosexuality was banned in the Isle of man until the late 1980s and the police used to birch naughty kids until 1994. People are generally inbred and represent living proof of man coming from the apes. In Wales, they are usually cave-dwellers (trogs) who come out at night and abuse the local valley's sheep population. Can be referred to as valley pikies or valley commandos.

I think that they still do birch people - but only in fun and purely between consenting adults. Seems they just can't break the habit. On the other hand, perhaps a judicious birching might work wonders on some of the ASBO-fodder we have here. Or maybe a couple of public hangings - not that I'm reactionary or anything.

I think that the Welsh do use condoms for the sheep on the first date, which is nice.

[ScottUK]

Can be referred to as valley pikies or valley commandos.Hehe does UCL churn out warped kendoka...? :D

[Kyung]

Look, I think I'm more qualified to tell him about his culture than he is.
After all, I'm an American.
:D

While I'm at it, let's just set the record straight, and provide the Empire's citizenry with the information that the good ol' U.S. of A teaches to all it's children, with an educational system which is second to none.

Germans:Sausages, VW's, Techno music, Math professors and Nazis

Russians: Godless Commies, liars, and Spies. There is no color at all in the country, and Vodka runs in the streets. The women are all 7 feet tall.

French: Snooty fops who smoke too much, lean against lamp posts, wear berets and smell like bad cheese. Often seen running away from sudden, loud noises. All love Jerry Lewis. Charlie Brown visited here once. There be Artists here.

Italians: Where Pizza comes from. Hairy Pope-fearing, well dressed Mobsters who all look like Super Mario. The whole country is sinking.

English: The wig-wearing guys we kicked out of America, then were generous enough to bail out of WW2. Massive overbites, eaters of organ meats, and skin so white that Dracula is like: "Damn! You dudes are white!" There is Tea here.

Dutch: Hashheads. The lot of them. And the whole country is made from Legos.

Spainish: Were Mexicans come from.

Danes: Where Danishes come from.

Austria: The homeland of our illustrious Govonator. (All hail the burly one)

Poland: The place where jokes come from. Also Sausages.

Greece: Guys with dresses and pompoms on their feet. Old crumbly buildings.
Lots of naked blasphemous statues. Neptune and Sparticus lives here.

Ireland: Leprechauns, singing, violent red-haired boxers, green stuff and drunks. Lots of 4 leaf clovers everywhere.

Scotland: Where Duncan Mcloud, of the Clan McCloud comes from. Everyone wears kilts and carries a Claymore. Loch Ness Monsters and Fried Sheep stomachs. Golf.

There you have it.
Any Questions?
:D

lol that's great...Although wigs are pretty boss. Just like bowties. Girls should love that. If they don't, they should learn to.

[Ignatz]

Where is this Norwegia place? Is it near Lesbia? I know some people from there.

[Decado]

Look, I think I'm more qualified to tell him about his culture than he is.
After all, I'm an American.
:D

While I'm at it, let's just set the record straight, and provide the Empire's citizenry with the information that the good ol' U.S. of A teaches to all it's children, with an educational system which is second to none.

English: The wig-wearing guys we kicked out of America, then were generous enough to bail out of WW2. Massive overbites, eaters of organ meats, and skin so white that Dracula is like: "Damn! You dudes are white!" There is Tea here.

:D

Our education system is pretty close to none at the moment and I believe that the US of A's comes a close second.

I must also say that it was awfully decent of you chaps to come over and help us with that spot of bother we had with that Hitler chappie. One rather wishes that you could have come earlier to the big tea party that we were planning to hold in Berlin.

Awfully sorry that we couldn't have helped you in Vietnam but Tony wasn't in charge here at that time and even Harold Wilson wasn't THAT stupid!

[Decado]

English: The wig-wearing guys we kicked out of America, then were generous enough to bail out of WW2. Massive overbites, eaters of organ meats, and skin so white that Dracula is like: "Damn! You dudes are white!" There is Tea here.


Hi Kenzan

You forgot our bad teeth! Americans always mention that. :D

[Fudo-Shin]

And the "bangers and mash" arms, :wink: like tuck-shop ladies...

[A Wadlow]

French: Snooty fops who smoke too much, lean against lamp posts, wear berets and smell like bad cheese. Often seen running away from sudden, loud noises. All love Jerry Lewis. Charlie Brown visited here once. There be Artists here.


English: The wig-wearing guys we kicked out of America, then were generous enough to bail out of WW2. Massive overbites, eaters of organ meats, and skin so white that Dracula is like: "Damn! You dudes are white!" There is Tea here.



The only good things to come out of france are Daft punk and Annelise Hesme

Don't get me started on america's contribution to the world, well lets just say from the porn industry it goes down hill from there.

[Decado]

The only good things to come out of france are Daft punk and Annelise Hesme

Don't get me started on america's contribution to the world, well lets just say from the porn industry it goes down hill from there.

And I'm not too sure about Daft Punk.

America gave us someone to laugh at - George W Bush! Makes us think that Tony isn't too bad.

[satsumaruma]

Look, I think I'm more qualified to tell him about his culture than he is.
After all, I'm an American.
:D

While I'm at it, let's just set the record straight, and provide the Empire's citizenry with the information that the good ol' U.S. of A teaches to all it's children, with an educational system which is second to none.

Germans:Sausages, VW's, Techno music, Math professors and Nazis

Russians: Godless Commies, liars, and Spies. There is no color at all in the country, and Vodka runs in the streets. The women are all 7 feet tall.

French: Snooty fops who smoke too much, lean against lamp posts, wear berets and smell like bad cheese. Often seen running away from sudden, loud noises. All love Jerry Lewis. Charlie Brown visited here once. There be Artists here.

Italians: Where Pizza comes from. Hairy Pope-fearing, well dressed Mobsters who all look like Super Mario. The whole country is sinking.

English: The wig-wearing guys we kicked out of America, then were generous enough to bail out of WW2. Massive overbites, eaters of organ meats, and skin so white that Dracula is like: "Damn! You dudes are white!" There is Tea here.

Dutch: Hashheads. The lot of them. And the whole country is made from Legos.

Spainish: Were Mexicans come from.

Danes: Where Danishes come from.

Austria: The homeland of our illustrious Govonator. (All hail the burly one)

Poland: The place where jokes come from. Also Sausages.

Greece: Guys with dresses and pompoms on their feet. Old crumbly buildings.
Lots of naked blasphemous statues. Neptune and Sparticus lives here.

Ireland: Leprechauns, singing, violent red-haired boxers, green stuff and drunks. Lots of 4 leaf clovers everywhere.

Scotland: Where Duncan Mcloud, of the Clan McCloud comes from. Everyone wears kilts and carries a Claymore. Loch Ness Monsters and Fried Sheep stomachs. Golf.

There you have it.
Any Questions?
:D

Once upon a thread I did make mention that Americans are iggorant of the rest of world.

I am pleased to find that this is not so. The only thing I think you omitted was that in Scotland they all speak in an Australian accent and paint their faces blue.

[satsumaruma]

And seeing as I have missed so much in this illuminating session.

I would just like to get my head round something.

An American taking the pee out of a Swede for the quality of the cars built by that country. In the name of everything that is holy that takes guts.

If they have nothing else better than every single US car ever made ( and tbh the list is very long), SAAB and Volvo have one advantage over the US auto. They can go round a corner.

[h2o]

Also, we build cars that do not explode on light impacts, unlike all american vehicles. Don't deny it, I've seen it on film! :wink:

[Fonsz]

And seeing as I have missed so much in this illuminating session.

I would just like to get my head round something.

An American taking the pee out of a Swede for the quality of the cars built by that country. In the name of everything that is holy that takes guts.

If they have nothing else better than every single US car ever made ( and tbh the list is very long), SAAB and Volvo have one advantage over the US auto. They can go round a corner.
Not so fast there Limey boy! Out on the prairie there's no corners, everything is straight on. We don't need no bends on our super duper highways. Why do you think that Choppers are an American Invention/Institution? So don't start about bends and stuff. You're not some kind of Commie are you? (All this with a John Wayne accent, whilst chewing tobacco)

[Ignatz]

Also, we build cars that do not explode on light impacts, unlike all american vehicles. Don't deny it, I've seen it on film! :wink:
Bad news bub, ford owns volvo.

[Decado]

Bad news bub, ford owns volvo.

Ford seems to own most of our car industry as well. The rest is owned by the Germans or the Chinese.:cry:

Mind you, our car industry in the form of British Leyland did use to produce some really crap cars like the Maxi (big box on wheels) or the Allegro (square steering wheel!!!!!). The ugliness of those cars was only surpassed by the French cars at the time.

Of course, some of the American cars have to be seem to be believed. I've seen smaller ocean liners!

[h2o]

Bad news bub, ford owns volvo.
Bad news cowboy, I already mentioned this implicitly in another post in this thread :wink:
As far as I know Ford only owns 50% of Volvo.
GM owns Saab btw...

And due to all this I think I'll be driving a Toyota when I get a car ;)

[Ignatz]

. . .
Of course, some of the American cars have to be seem to be believed. I've seen smaller ocean liners!
My son was driving a Ford Excursion with a lift kit. Too small to be classified as a planet but it had it's own zip code and a gravitational field. He used to pull into the driveway with three or for little surfer girls stuck to the sides.

Traded it in on a BMW with a heated steering wheel!!!


Ford seems to own most of our car industry as well. . . .
That would explain the billion dollar loss last year.

[Decado]

My son was driving a Ford Excursion with a lift kit. Too small to be classified as a planet but it had it's own zip code and a gravitational field. He used to pull into the driveway with three or for little surfer girls stuck to the sides.

Traded it in on a BMW with a heated steering wheel!!!


That would explain the billion dollar loss last year.

Lol! Who says Americans have a different sense of humour to us English chaps?

Some of those American cars are so big the back seat is in a different time zone to the front!

Heated steering wheel? That's so wussy!

[h2o]

Some of those American cars are so big the back seat is in a different time zone to the front!
"Your mama is so fat that when they built the house, they had to ask if she wanted to be inside or outside" :D

[ScottUK]

Lol! Who says Americans have a different sense of humour to us English chaps?Iggy's one of the few.

[Decado]

Iggy's one of the few.

I have known a few who also have a similar sense of humour to us but I'm afraid you are right. Irony and sarcasm just don't seem to have crossed the Atlantic.

[h2o]

Irony and sarcasm just don't seem to have crossed the Atlantic. No, but I think we should cut them some slack. After all, they did make the "Scary Movie" series, and thats fun... no wait... :rolleyes:

To be really honest, there are a few fun american stand up comedians (Stephen Lynch, Pablo Fransisco to name a few) but they are mere shadows compared to Eddie Izzard ;)

[Decado]

No, but I think we should cut them some slack. After all, they did make the "Scary Movie" series, and thats fun... no wait... :rolleyes:

To be really honest, there are a few fun american stand up comedians (Stephen Lynch, Pablo Fransisco to name a few) but they are mere shadows compared to Eddie Izzard ;)

You are so right about Eddie Izzard! His "Le singe est dans l'arbre" routine is brilliant and strikes a chord with the crap way English people are taught foreign languages.

[h2o]

You are so right about Eddie Izzard! His "Le singe est dans l'arbre" routine is brilliant and strikes a chord with the crap way English people are taught foreign languages.
I think I know what you are referring to. My favourites are his views of the Church of England ("Cake or Death?!") and about how England took over the world "with the cunning use of flags".

- But we live here, 600 million of us!
- Yes, but do you have a flag?

[ScottUK]

His 'crack transvestite brigade' had me crying with laughter... :)

[h2o]

His 'crack transvestite brigade' had me crying with laughter... :)
Yeah, "take the enemy by surprise, in fabulous makeup!"

Then, there is also my favourite Eddie Izzard quote which addressed to his america audience in one show:
"I'm from Europe where history comes from." :D

Let's just say that most of the instructors at our club are more or less Eddie Izzard fanatics. I got enormously happy when I found a web shop selling all his DVD:s for ~11€ a piece :)

[ScottUK]

American English vs British English:

You say URB but we say HERB - because there's a f**king 'H' in it.

[Ignatz]

American English vs British English:

You say URB but we say HERB - because there's a f**king 'H' in it.

In parts of the US they pronounce the word oil as earl and the word earl as oil.

As for irony and sarcasm, remeber that I am Irish and we invented irony and sarcasm.

[Paikea]

American English vs British English:

You say URB but we say HERB - because there's a f**king 'H' in it.No no no...there's a "silent H" in HERB, not a "f**king 'H'". What would HRM the Queen say to hear such talk?

[Fudo-Shin]

Isn't the "H" silent to minimise the energy spent in saying it??....Cut out arf the le'ers and save twice the energy. "Erb",....piece of piss...:happy:

[Kyung]

American English vs British English:

You say URB but we say HERB - because there's a f**king 'H' in it.

There are many things about English in general that I do not understand.
Do British pronounce the H in Honor?
Why is the word 'lable' spelled lable and not label?
Why is the word 'crate' pronounced 'kraet'?
Why is Wednesday pronounced Wensday?
How did the use of thou, thee, thy, thine become extinct?
How did the letter j end up representing that sound?
Why is the word 'psychology' pronounced 'saikoloji'?

I think about this all the time. Don't really know who to ask. Google? What would be the key word?

[ScottUK]

Do British pronounce the H in Honor?Yes.


Why is the word 'lable' spelled lable and not label?It isn't.


Why is the word 'crate' pronounced 'kraet'?
Why is Wednesday pronounced Wensday?Because you aren't speaking properly. :)


How did the use of thou, thee, thy, thine become extinct?
How did the letter j end up representing that sound?
Why is the word 'psychology' pronounced 'saikoloji'?You are thinking too much. Too many mind...hehe.


I think about this all the time. Don't really know who to ask. Google? What would be the key word?Dunno, but may I recommend you try these?

http://www.effingpot.com/index.shtml

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_British_idioms

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_British_words_not_widely_used_in_the_Unite d_States

[Decado]

There are many things about English in general that I do not understand.
Do British pronounce the H in Honor?
Why is the word 'lable' spelled lable and not label?
Why is the word 'crate' pronounced 'kraet'?
Why is Wednesday pronounced Wensday?
How did the use of thou, thee, thy, thine become extinct?
How did the letter j end up representing that sound?
Why is the word 'psychology' pronounced 'saikoloji'?

I think about this all the time. Don't really know who to ask. Google? What would be the key word?

You need to get out more!

Do British pronounce the H in Honor? No!
Why is the word 'lable' spelled lable and not label? NO such word as "lable".
Why is the word 'crate' pronounced 'kraet'? It's not, it's pronounced krate!
Why is Wednesday pronounced Wensday? It's not. It's pronounced Wendsday - which doesn't help one bit I know.
How did the use of thou, thee, thy, thine become extinct? Because they are clumsy and we couldn't be arsed any more.
How did the letter j end up representing that sound? As apposed to what sound?
Why is the word 'psychology' pronounced 'saikoloji'? It's not. It's pronounced sykolojee.

Here endeth the lesson leaving all as confused as ever.

[ScottUK]

Beat ya...! :)

[Decado]

Beat ya...! :)

Yeah, but I got it correct! :cheerful:

[ScottUK]

There is a hint of 'H' in 'honour'... :)

Americans - note spelling. Honour, armour, colour etc.

[Decado]

Yeah, but I got it correct! :cheerful:

Shit! Just realised I made a rare spelling mistake. Bugger! Getting old. :old_man:

[Decado]

There is a hint of 'H' in 'honour'... :)

Americans - note spelling. Honour, armour, colour etc.

Only the tiniest, weeniest, merest hint of an 'H'. More implied than stated.

Right about the rest though. And what they do with aluminium beggars belief!

[Hank]

American English vs British English:

You say URB but we say HERB - because there's a f**king 'H' in it.Yeah, what about Worcester or Leicester - you people drop out the whole middle! Other than that, it's very rare for the English to drop consonants (my ass).

Ank.

[ScottUK]

Anker. :D

[satsumaruma]

There are many things about English in general that I do not understand.
Do British pronounce the H in Honor?
Why is the word 'lable' spelled lable and not label?
Why is the word 'crate' pronounced 'kraet'?
Why is Wednesday pronounced Wensday?
How did the use of thou, thee, thy, thine become extinct?
How did the letter j end up representing that sound?
Why is the word 'psychology' pronounced 'saikoloji'?

I think about this all the time. Don't really know who to ask. Google? What would be the key word?

Scotty and Decado are both wrong tha' nos, and tha's because they dun't come from't Gods' Country.

We dun't even pronounce the H in Honour let alone Honor.
The word is pronounced Kraet because Graet is as well.
Wednesday in't pronounced Wensday or even Wendsday - it is Wedn'sdeh.
EXTINCT? Oo did that? Gi em back. Reet nah. Thee IS still in use but thou, thy and thine ave been made reet posh lahk and chang'd tuh "Tha".
J is Jay cos the other way is German.
And 'psychology' is not pronounced 'saikoloji'. It is pronounced "reet poncey git oo dun't noh nowt as much as tuppence a'peth".

So tha'cn all gi-ouer wi' daft tong and speak reet narce lahk mee.

[ScottUK]

Glue.

Sniffer.

[Decado]

Scotty and Decado are both wrong tha' nos, and tha's because they dun't come from't Gods' Country.

We dun't even pronounce the H in Honour let alone Honor.
The word is pronounced Kraet because Graet is as well.
Wednesday in't pronounced Wensday or even Wendsday - it is Wedn'sdeh.
EXTINCT? Oo did that? Gi em back. Reet nah. Thee IS still in use but thou, thy and thine ave been made reet posh lahk and chang'd tuh "Tha".
J is Jay cos the other way is German.
And 'psychology' is not pronounced 'saikoloji'. It is pronounced "reet poncey git oo dun't noh nowt as much as tuppence a'peth".

So tha'cn all gi-ouer wi' daft tong and speak reet narce lahk mee.

By ecky thump lad! Tha cums from a raight funnee plerce dun't tha! And here's me, nobbut a midlander, trying to put the laddie from t'other country, raight. They know nowt them Americans, dun't tha know!

Well, that's exhausted my strange mixture of them raight funny Northern accents.

For the rest of the world, the reason why where Satsumaruma comes from is known as God's country is, when we chaps from the Midlands go on missionary visits, we look around and ask " God Almighty! Do people actually live here?". I believe Darlington gets electricity in the near future.

Great reply though Sats. I'm sure it totally confused our American cousins which is worth doing (and oh so easy!).

[Decado]

Glue.

Sniffer.

Damn! You beat me again.

[Hank]

By ecky thump lad! Tha cums from a raight funnee plerce dun't tha! And here's me, nobbut a midlander, trying to put the laddie from t'other country, raight. They know nowt them Americans, dun't tha know!

Well, that's exhausted my strange mixture of them raight funny Northern accents.

For the rest of the world, the reason why where Satsumaruma comes from is known as God's country is, when we chaps from the Midlands go on missionary visits, we look around and ask " God Almighty! Do people actually live here?". I believe Darlington gets electricity in the near future.

Great reply though Sats. I'm sure it totally confused our American cousins which is worth doing (and oh so easy!).Yes. We are all totally confused. As to why you found that funny.

[ScottUK]

I believe Darlington gets electricity in the near future.Right after they evolve and grow thumbs.