Kendo/kumdo haiku

[Achilles]

In the spirit of this martial art, I think we should fashion some haiku to describe our kendo experiences: Here's an idea (remember, 5-7-5):

My sempai has missed
his shinai pierced my tare
the pain is intense

or

I drank too much beer
after practice, I am scared
I test tomorrow

let's see what you've got.

[hamish]

Good idea Achilles,

We'll publish the best in the magazine, too!


Hamish

[Will]

Shinai in armpit
My eyes buldge, I cringe in pain
Why can't they hit do?

[ben]

Men, men, men, men, men,
Kote, men, kote, men, do,
Kote, kote, men

[Achilles]

Ugh. Ben, Haiku has to follow the 5-7-5 pattern. That's a count of syllables.

Your posting is 5-5-3. You'd want to add a couple more "men"s to the 2nd and 3rd lines. . .

Here's another example:

I sleep on the couch
My wife don't recognize me
A kendo widow

[Kuri]

Correct me if I'm wrong Achilles, but isn't kote 2 syllables (ko-te)?

[Achilles]

Hah! You're absolutely right! I'm an idiot.

Sorry Ben.

[cklin]

shrouding my body
an unrelenting attack
the smell of kendo

[John W]

Going to a shiai.
Oh please where is the venue?
My bogu is heavy!

[John W]

Sorry! Ignore the first one. I tried to edit it but the five minutes was up, here it is:

Shiai is today.
Oh please, where is the venue?
My bogu is heavy.:)

[tetsuoxb]

I have just passed out
the smell of sweaty deer skin
the joy of kote

or

My neck is in pain
and my butt is on the floor
I still hate tsuki

or my personal favorite because of the multiple interpretations of the final line

Debana Kote
outthinking your opponent
triumph over men

-----------------------
How about the winner gets a free subscription! I swear ill write 200 of them to save my student budget from having to pay!

[inner_cent]

Kote tsuki men
Again I fly through dojo door
and back for some more.

[ben]

Is it my own skill,
Or the skill of my sensei?
Miraculous cut.

[ben]

Hard fought match against
a strong sempai - men ari!
Broken shinai slat

[ben]

Ki ken tai no ich'
When they all come together -
Lightning from clear sky

[ben]

Asageiko starts
Stomach really quite unwell
Down in sonkyo - faaaart!

[olaf]

Hot humid keiko
Forgot to air out bogu
Maggots in my men

[ben]

I'm just trying to
get my Kendo World posts up
to the magic ton!

[Achilles]

HA HA HA! Olaf! You rock!

[John W]

Ok kata class.
Numbers 1,2,3,4,5.
Where is my bokken?

[damocles]

are these japanese sylables or english? o.O;;

how about both? ;)

"enzan no
metsuke. I perceive
the coming attack"

"e-n-za-n no
me-tsu-ke. i will per-cieve
the com-ing at-tack"

I think...

[Achilles]

I won the shiai
out drinking to celebrate
I can't feel my legs

[eddiez]

"Tsu-ki" or just "Ski"
How does one pronounce this word?
Can't hit it for crap

[tetsuoxb]

It really should be pronounced something along the lines of tski... the u is silent in this one, hence all the people running around saying ski. Just like you dont ask a Japanese person to talk to your daughter Linda Lewellen Lee, Americans have a hard time trying to get the sound tsu insted of su out of their mouths.

Just a thought.

And I too, cannot hit it at all.

[ben]

Haha! nice one eddie! I too thought you were just 'talking' at first.

:D

b

[tetsuoxb]

Wow.. i didn't even realize it was a haiku!

Maybe because of the posts above it.

[stakenaka]

Hmm..... I wonder if this works.

Yo-ru-ke-i-ko Evening Practice
ni-ji-ka-n-ji-go-ku Two hours of Hell
A-sa-i-ta-i Painful Morning

or change the last line to
Mi-Ra-Ta-i-Mu Miller Time (personally, I hate Miller Beer)

[cklin]

stakenaka: that one's AWESOME!

[John W]

Another Shiai.
Here I go, I will cut men.
Missed, opps! Hansoku!

[stakenaka]

A-tsu-i-Na-tsu Hot Summers
Ke-i-ko-gi-ku-sa-i Smelly Keikogi
Ta-no-shi-i-ne Isn't this enjoyable?

[Justy]

Speedy suiyashi
Tripped on my hakama hem
Atama... itai... (head... pain...)

Don't hit your sempai
When you're doing your kata
'Cause... it's his turn next!

[Charlie]

Okay, the farting in sonkyo one is one of my favorites.

My attempt:

Sensei-ni, rei! O-
tagaini - rei! Men otsuke.
Time for punishment.

[Charlie]

Blink to clear the sweat
From out of your burning eyes.
Seme and attack!

[Charlie]

Last one:

That spot below my
foot. A half inch square of skin.
Worn off and bleeding.

[Achilles]

My face is itching
One spot drives me so crazy
Just put on my men

[Charlie]

The thing that's so funny, to me, about the sonkyo-fart one is that it's happened to me - lots of times. Sometimes even during a demo or a test!

[KhawMengLee]

He hit my elbow
Reflex kick him in the balls
Disqualified...damn

[stakenaka]

Mu-shi-a-tsu-i
Mi-do-ri-Te-ne-gu-i
A-ra-tte-Ku-re

Humidty.
Green Tenegui.
Please wash.

[KhawMengLee]

Hmmnnn...I just got a new bogu so:

Put on my new Men

Breath deeply in Gi-Geiko

My boogers are blue

[olaf]

Meng - what is a "boogers"?

[KhawMengLee]

uh...nose..urm...thingies...you know, snot, green jello, nose shit.

heh

[olaf]

Thanks Meng. Never heard that term before - you mean, "snot"?

Which brings up a good point - new bogu is not the only time when you experience blue "snot". If you practice hard enough in humid, hot, and muggy weather - your sweat will inevitably get mixed up with other facial excretions, and you'll end up with blue "snot" after practice anyway! It's a very accurate measure of how much effort you've put into keiko...

Every time a peer of mine dismisses that claim of mine I just tell them they're not training hard enough!

[Justy]

Think I hit too hard
You're OK though, right guy? Oh!
Nakaui broke

Whip! goes his shinai
Wraps around back of my head!
Carbon fibre, bah.

(Here in Canada
Far too cold to grow bamboo
We use icicles)

Practice is over
Think I'll have a cold sports drink
Mmm, Pocari Sweat!

Where's my new bogu?
Trapped in Customs? What "Free Trade?"
Duties cost so much.

Dry my keikogi
Enough sweat to float a ship
Had a good practice!

[etherknot]

Originally posted by ben
Asageiko starts
Stomach really quite unwell
Down in sonkyo - faaaart!

Hi! Alright I gotta admit. I've been reading the forums furiously for the past week. This haiku... This haiku in specific is ultimately led me to sign up to be a member. Why? Well... Who else here hasn't had that problem. I mean really now, fess up.

Lesson: go easy on the makki sushi before practice!

[sparc]

Originally posted by ben
Asageiko starts
Stomach really quite unwell
Down in sonkyo - faaaart!

ROFL. Nice one! :D

[sparc]

Originally posted by KhawMengLee
He hit my elbow
Reflex kick him in the balls
Disqualified...damn

Nothing worse than getting smacked in the elbow. Well, there is, it's called getting smacked in the same place on the same elbow and collecting a couple more bruises under the same armpit. I'm just glad that there is (supposedly) no chance of getting whacked in the nads.

I turned up to work the next day and rolled my sleeves up to start work on a car, my workmate saw the bruises and said "Kendo last night? Right?" and laughed. :hurt:

[Shelgeyr]

Blister on my foot
Practice finaly over
See you tomorrow!

[AlexM]

Snow falls on the ground
Now I must walk up the hill
Back to train I go

Cold fills the dojo
My body is very numb
Warmth of jikeiko

That last line can be Warmth of jikeiko or keiko depending on how you count the syllables.

Can you tell it's cold and snowing here? Only 7 more months until spring.... Kill me.

Maki otoshi
My shinai is on the floor
What do I do now?

[kendomushi]

The five minute god
Challenged sensei his first day
The god broken, gone

[Paburo]

ke-n-a-ge-ta
ka-mi-no-so-ku-u-tte
i-ppo-n-a-ri

risen sword
hitting at divine speed
ippon ari

------

ma-chi-ga-i-no
me-n-ka-e-shi-do-u
ta-ma-go-ki-ru!

the missed
men kaeshi dou,
kills/cuts balls! (eggs)

or replace last one for
ki-n-ta-ma-shi (balls'/testicles' death)

[Raígma]

Not everything known
Can be handled by using a sword
Don´t ever forget that kendoka

Do not cut the ones
Who can´t use a weapon like you
Listen to your heart instead

Not everything is war
You should remember that sometime
Don´t draw all the time

The two most serious deeds
Are to let a chance pass over
And to rush thoughtless

Be sure to fight for
Peace and security only
But then be mercyless

[Old Warrior]

Here's my entry:

Bamboo is not steel
Yet cuts must be true and clean
Spirit hones the edge

[aru-ma]

hayasuburi
fifty times I lost my track
start from beggining

my arm in pain
begginners practice kote
must go see doctor

[Raígma]

It´s rather hard to get the 5-7-5 form.
I didn´t get it too. -_-

[mingshi]

Should I ever stop
Seeking for a perfect cut
which does not exist?

[aru-ma]

dojo full today
hiki men with long zanshin
did not see the wall

english haiku
not vey easy to make
can not make sound good

finish class today
ran to dojo with bogu
need more stamina

[Paburo]

for mingshi:

shi-a-i-ka-tsu
ji-bu-n-ki-me-ka-ra
ga-n-ba-re-yo

victory in competition
comes from own commitment
do your best!

[KhawMengLee]

Just came back from Australia, did a state training session:

Forty degree heat
The dojo has no aircon
Fuck I am dying...

[Goyaman]

With arms of rubber
and breathing through my eyeballs
kakarigeiko