5 Movie Fighting Styles Too Awesome to Actually Exist

[Kenzan]

5 Movie Fighting Styles Too Awesome to Actually Exist (http://www.cracked.com/article_15966_5-movie-fighting-styles-too-awesome-actually-exist.html)

:D

[The Limp]

SO great!!! Nice find!

[Berserker]

Very niiiiiice... :D

Equilibrium actually has the highest kill rate for a single scene in a movie... It's something like 124 or 127 deaths...

Nice find though!

[samurai80]

Wow, Gymkata was...wow...I mean...wow! Favorite parts of the clip-

1. At 1:05, he's standing to the left of the pommel horse when he decides to jump onto the pommel horse, do a twisty, back flip, only to land in the place he was previously standing, to side-kick a guy in the face just before jumping back on to the pommel horse.

2. At 1:13 a guy with perhaps a club, swings alleged club at the hero (snicker) and wiffs...so much so that his natural reaction was to lay down on the pommel horse to take a 1 or 2 second break. Little did he know, thats all our hero (snicker) needed to get in a vicious elbow drop, followed by (count 'em) TWO kicks to the face. Also note the "guy who swung the club's" head movements after he misses. Hilarious.

3. The crowd close up shots.

4. "Now everyone attack! One at a time please."

[absenteekendoka]

At last I know where WhiteSamurai/German Samurai got his mad skillllllz from :)

LOOK OUT! He's got a pommel horse!

[NoNameKleenex]

Wow, Gymkata was...wow...I mean...wow! Favorite parts of the clip-

1. At 1:05, he's standing to the left of the pommel horse when he decides to jump onto the pommel horse, do a twisty, back flip, only to land in the place he was previously standing, to side-kick a guy in the face just before jumping back on to the pommel horse.



But . . . in the style I created, you do that to keep your angular momentum high and therefore keep your ass-kicking abilities strong. It's all about energy managment! :wink:

Good find on this . . . and now I kind of want to rent the movie to see how bad it gets. . . is that weird?

[absenteekendoka]

We need to have a kendoworld sanctioned "cheesefest" for badmartial arts films.

[Gessho]

Just curious but did Steven Seagal actually hold a legitimate black-belt/dan level and was he any good? Or was it all show?

I heard stories that he lived in Japan and could speak the language. Was that true?

[Chaby]

Just curious but did Steven Seagal actually hold a legitimate black-belt/dan level and was he any good? Or was it all show?

I heard stories that he lived in Japan and could speak the language. Was that true?

Far as I know he is the only foreigner/gaijin to hold an Aikido dojo in Japan.

[corwyn]

Bah, what do they know...I'm 15-dan in ALL of those fighting styles. I can kick serious butt. :smoker:







:laugh::laugh::laugh:


Seriously, though, I believe Seagal was a legitimate 7-dan in the Aikikai, having first started in Ki Society.

[samurai80]

I've heard him speak Japanese in pretty long conversations before too. I want to hate him, but I can't find a valid reason besides his movies sucking. For those of you who are about to defend his movies...stop. VanDamme sucks, Chuck sucks, Segal sucks. It is a fact. How do I know it is a fact? Because now it has been put on the internet.

[absenteekendoka]

But I heard chuck's tears cure cancer!

[Gessho]

I liked his early, cop movies, before he took himself seriously. I forget the names but you know what they are.

The problem with martial arts actors is that they try too hard to be deep. If they stick to their "kick-ass" roots they are fine. Once they grab hold of a religion or philosophy then they get into trouble. Same goes for when they try to "act."

In Seagal's case, that means his ill-fated immersion with Tibetan Buddhism. Same thing happened with Stephen Hayes (the American Ninja...) who, though not an actor, also took himself too seriously and became crazy...and about 300 pounds (so much for the "American Ninja...")

[corwyn]

I liked his early, cop movies, before he took himself seriously. I forget the names but you know what they are.

The problem with martial arts actors is that they try too hard to be deep. If they stick to their "kick-ass" roots they are fine. Once they grab hold of a religion or philosophy then they get into trouble. Same goes for when they try to "act."

In Seagal's case, that means his ill-fated immersion with Tibetan Buddhism. Same thing happened with Stephen Hayes (the American Ninja...) who, though not an actor, also took himself too seriously and became crazy...and about 300 pounds (so much for the "American Ninja...")

Wasn't the American Ninja played by Michael Dudikoff? (Embarrassed that I know that...)

[samurai80]

I...and about 300 pounds (so much for the "American Ninja...")

What the ...seriously? How did you find this out? Also, if I'm not mistaken...wasn't there a scene in "American Ninja" that had a bunch of guys in red bogu or somethin'?

[Decado]

5 Movie Fighting Styles Too Awesome to Actually Exist (http://www.cracked.com/article_15966_5-movie-fighting-styles-too-awesome-actually-exist.html)

:D

What! They missed out the famous British fighting style Ecky Thump!

[Charles Lockhar]

Without Master Chiun's Korean fighting style known as "sinanju," this list is utterly meaningless...

The adventure beings...

-Charles

[Kenzan]

Without Master Chiun's Korean fighting style known as "sinanju," this list is utterly meaningless...

The adventure beings...

-Charles

+Rep for you for mentioning that movie.
:D

"You smell rike stinking Baboon, and move rike a pregunant YAK!" (http://www.internationalhero.co.uk/r/remofilm.jpg)

:D

They really need to make a sequel to that movie.


In Seagal's case, that means his ill-fated immersion with Tibetan Buddhism......

...and Kentucky Fried Chicken Corp...

........and a hand mirror....

..................and the "Wife-Beater"tm brand T-shirt line.

:D

I want to hate him, but I can't find a valid reason besides his movies sucking....

How about the fact that he continuously kicked the crap out of multiple wives and lovers for years through a syndrome-like cycle of high-level abuse.
:confused2

[Chaby]

... Chuck sucks, ...

Did you ever try to enter "find Chuck Norris" on Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky"?
Please, do try!
:D

Did you know that When Chuck (http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/) is doing push ups,he doesn’t push himself up, he actually pushes the earth down?!?

[corwyn]

Did you ever try to enter "find Chuck Norris" on Google and hit "I'm Feeling Lucky"?
Please, do try!
:D


:laugh:

"You must spread some reputation around..." blah blah... :mad:

[Chaby]

Oh,yes and the Earth changed its rotation pattern...

When the Boogeyman goes to bed, he looks for Chuck Norris in the closet...
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Once, while having sex in a truck, part of Chuck Norris sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
I can go on and on... :D

[samurai80]

Walker, Texas Ranger/ Sidekicks/Firewalker/Kendoka Han-like Christian beliefs/ Made up his own "style"/ Pants that are tight enough to see the winkles in his balls/ ...I can go on, and on.

[samurai80]

years [/I]through a syndrome-like cycle of high-level abuse.
:confused2

Thanks...I knew I would be able to hate him in good conscious one day, and you made that dream come true.

[Kenzan]

Thanks...I knew I would be able to hate him in good conscious one day, and you made that dream come true.

At KenzanMarttm....(k-mart!)

We aim to please.
:smoker:

[Gessho]

Wasn't the American Ninja played by Michael Dudikoff? (Embarrassed that I know that...)

Yes, Dudikoff was in the movie American Ninja. I was referring to Stephen Hayes the guy who learned ninjutsu from Maasaki Hatsumi in Japan. Or so the story goes.

[Gessho]

Without Master Chiun's Korean fighting style known as "sinanju," this list is utterly meaningless...

The adventure beings...

-Charles

Loved that movie (Remo Williams)! Truly a campy martial arts flick (or sorts).

[corwyn]

Yes, Dudikoff was in the movie American Ninja. I was referring to Stephen Hayes the guy who learned ninjutsu from Maasaki Hatsumi in Japan. Or so the story goes.

Oh, sorry...misunderstood...

[MikeW]

How about the fact that he continuously kicked the crap out of multiple wives and lovers for years through a syndrome-like cycle of high-level abuse.
:confused2

Not to hijack the thread, but this made me interested and I did some searching. I could not find anywhere any reliable reports of wife abuse. Infidelity.. yes, abuse , no. Kenzan.. is this something you heard or read on the internet or do you have any actual proof (such as verifiable news reporting or police reports)? I'd be interested in checking out your reference.


I really dislike spreading untrue rumours about people and this seems like something if it were true would be verifiable from a reliable source.

[Berserker]

Just curious but did Steven Seagal actually hold a legitimate black-belt/dan level and was he any good? Or was it all show?

I heard stories that he lived in Japan and could speak the language. Was that true?


From what I know he had an Aikido dojo in Japan for quite a long time... If I remeber correctly he has a 3rd Dan in Kendo and a 1st Dan in iaido... I think he is a 5th Dan in aikido, but I'm not too sure... All that I know is that... ... ...

a)He does have multiple Dan grades in a few MA
b)His latest movies all suck the sweat of off a dead man
c)He plays guitar and has a cd out... :ko:


But hell, what do I know... :D

[Berserker]

"A master of several Japanese martial arts... ... ...Seagal traveled to Japan at the age of 17. There, he taught English, studied Zen, and perfected his martial arts, earning black belts in Aikido (7th Dan), karate, judo, and kendo. Afterwards, he became the first Westerner to open a martial arts school in Japan. Seagal spent about 15 years in Asia before returning to the States, where he opened a new martial arts academy."

Thats of off a biography site...

[Hisham]

There's an entry on him on wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Seagal), i did hear and read some stuff in MA mags and docs on him that pretty much breaks the stereotype of how a teacher behaves outside the dojo.

[Kenzan]

Not to hijack the thread, but this made me interested and I did some searching. I could not find anywhere any reliable reports of wife abuse. Infidelity.. yes, abuse , no. Kenzan.. is this something you heard or read on the internet or do you have any actual proof (such as verifiable news reporting or police reports)? I'd be interested in checking out your reference.


I really dislike spreading untrue rumours about people and this seems like something if it were true would be verifiable from a reliable source.

You may want to look harder.

But the bigger question is why?
:confused2

[JoDuncan]

Still can't believe Seagal was married to Kelly le Brok, before he was famous!

Dang, drop and give me 20.

[MikeW]

Umm the reason I am asking is because if it isn't true then it shouldn't be spread around like it is fact unless the facts are there to back it up regardless of the guy's (lack of) acting ability. Reigi is part of life as a kendoka, not just something you do when you step in the dojo. Verifiable facts, not innuendo in a MA rag or on a wiki (which are the least reliable of sources. I don't believe anything in the wiki referred to spousal abuse though).