Wisdom from my mother...

[Alison2805]

People have been mentioning advice given to them from their mothers in threads, and most of it is damn funny I thought Id dedicate a thread to it.

My mum always said:

Never sit on a public toilet. You have to hover.

If you leave your bras on the line, someone will steal them (the fact that we lived 5km from the nearest neighbour didnt make a lick of difference).

Dont talk to terrorists on airplanes.

You can have more than one boyfriend at a time, as long as they dont know about eachother. :eek:

Men may be the head of the house, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head anyway she likes. (I think she stole this one from a movie).

And finally, the best ones which I cant repeat were the stories she would tell about a karate instructor she had a fling with. Those stories always started with "when I was your age.." and end in me tearing my ears off and eating them so I didnt have to hear it! Auugh!!!

[corwyn]

Arthur Dent: You know, it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
Ford Prefect: Why, what did she tell you?
Arthur Dent: I don't know, I didn't listen.

[Big One]

My Mother used to say:

" You should....."

I never had time to hear the rest. Sorry.

[Sparv]

Cut and paste from my post in the "now I'm 20" thread:

I remember what my mother said when I turned 18. She looked straight in my eyes and said "don't screw your life. There's a STD far worse than AIDS, it's called kids".

That's wisdom.

[Inner_Silence]

personally my mother have tought me valuable lessons for life, of all her wisdom...

my mother tought me how to do a well done job:
while fighting with my brother..." kill each other outside, Ive just got the house cleaned..."

she taught me religion:
"you better pray for that stain gets cleaned up off the carpet..."

she taught me logic
"thats true becouse I say so, period."

she taught me irony:
"keep crying and youll have real reasons to cry!!"

she taught me how to save things
"save those tears for when I die"

she taught me osmosis
"shut your mouth and eat!!!!!"

she taught me willpower
"you are gonna sit there untill you eat all that food"

she taught me measurement
"Ive told you like a million times not to exagerate!"

she taught me about life circles
"Ive brought you to this world and I can send you away!"

she tought me zoology
"rise crows and theyll take your eyes off..."

she tought me about changing behaviours
"stop acting like your father!!"

thanks mom!!

[LarsCW]

People have been mentioning advice given to them from their mothers in threads, and most of it is damn funny I thought Id dedicate a thread to it.

My mum always said:

Dont talk to terrorists on airplanes.

They generally have loads of fun things to say: "Silence you infidele, I'll Kill You!!!"



Men may be the head of the house, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head anyway she likes. (I think she stole this one from a movie).

We men can break them if needed *hides*

[MAZ77]

They generally have loads of fun things to say: "Silence you infidele, I'll Kill You!!!"




We men can break them if needed *hides*

YEAH, THATS RIGHT!

*MOVE OVER AND GIVE ME SOME ROOM TO HIDE IN HERE WITH YOU!*

[Sparv]

YEAH, THATS RIGHT!

*MOVE OVER AND GIVE ME SOME ROOM TO HIDE IN HERE WITH YOU!*

*Stands bravely in front of your hideout, looks cool, got all the girls* :ko:

[hobbit]

You fall out of that tree and break your leg, don't come running to me for sympathy . . .

If you're going out you should put on clean underwear in case you get knocked over . . .

[Alison2805]

yep, always have a clean pair of undies on in case you get hit by a bus. As a kid I could never understand why anyone would be inspecting your undies when you had been smooshed all over the road.

[Paikea]

And finally, the best ones which I cant repeat were the stories she would tell about a karate instructor she had a fling with. Those stories always started with "when I was your age.." and end in me tearing my ears off and eating them so I didnt have to hear it! Auugh!!!So, as a fellow Oceanographic/Geological professional, I have to ask...did you get any pictures?

[MAZ77]

*Stands bravely in front of your hideout, looks cool, got all the girls* :ko:

Then they look at you in your compression shorts/rowing uni and point and laugh and mention something about the coxswain.

[Alison2805]

So, as a fellow Oceanographic/Geological professional, I have to ask...did you get any pictures?

of my mother and the karate guy? NOOOOOOOO!!! It was bad enough hearing about it...

Another thing she advised me on after seeing a video of me in a kendo match:

"Why dont you yell CHOP SOOEY!!! That would be better." :confused2

[Maku-san]

My mama used to say, "Why do you gotta go play in someone else's yard? Yours is big enough!!!" :cross_eye

[Manuka]

yep, always have a clean pair of undies on in case you get hit by a bus. As a kid I could never understand why anyone would be inspecting your undies when you had been smooshed all over the road.

Some of the Ambulance drivers like to get some while still warm. Would not want to gross out the Ambulance drivers w/dirty underwear.

[JCM]

"when I was your age.." and end in me tearing my ears off and eating them so I didnt have to hear it! Auugh!!!

Been there, can we sit and cry together?


You fall out of that tree and break your leg, don't come running to me for sympathy . . .

If you're going out you should put on clean underwear in case you get knocked over . . .

That's proper Peter Kay stuff, is amazing how international mothers are :)

[Osu]

Haha...I thought this was going to be a serious topic.

[ZtefaNNN[K]]

"I don´t want any of my sons to throw the hand and hide the stone!!!!" (insert mad mom voice)

[Alison2805]

;321240']"I don´t want any of my sons to throw the hand and hide the stone!!!!" (insert mad mom voice)

What does that mean?

[ZtefaNNN[K]]

I still don´t know, when I heard it I went off laughing. I think she tried to say that she doesn´t want her sons to throw a stone and hide their hand.