Deadliest Warrior on Spike TV [Archive]

Wookiesmurf

4th April 2009, 07:09 AM

http://www.spike.com/show/31082

"Each week on Deadliest Warrior, a new episode will pit two of the most feared warriors civilization has ever known against each other. Along with the use of 21st century science and the latest in CGI technology, each episode enlists warrior-specific world-class fighters and experts to provide insight into what makes these combatants tick, analyzing every facet of their unique skills of destruction, culminating in a head-to-head final fight between two legends of the battlefield that will produce the deadliest warrior. Other highly-anticipated showdowns this season include: Pirate vs. Knight, Taliban vs. IRA, Yakuza vs. Mafia, Viking vs. Samurai, Green Beret vs. Spetznaz, Maori vs. Shaolin Monks, William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu and Ninja vs. Spartan."

Well, this is awfully silly. Still going to watch it, though! :D
Surprised they didn't give in to the Internet of two years ago and put the pirate up against the ninja. The viking is going to kick some samurai butt!

Premieres April 7.

Toshiro Mifune

4th April 2009, 01:27 PM

Did You Know?
• Contrary to popular myth, Viking helmets did not have horns. In fact, many Vikings had no helmets at all.
• The fiercest Vikings were known as berserkers. They howled, wore bear or wolf skins, bit their shields and worked themselves into a rage intended to frighten their enemies. During battle, berserkers could allegedly withstand enormous pain.
• When two Vikings had a dispute they could settle it with a duel called a holmgang, in which they stood on a small section of animal hide. If a person stepped off the hide, he lost. If he drew blood from his opponent, he was victorious.

I think the match would be close depending on many different factors.

Anonymous

4th April 2009, 05:32 PM

the maori bit sounds amusing.

SanguineKendoka

4th April 2009, 10:06 PM

Did You Know?
• The fiercest Vikings were known as berserkers. They howled, wore bear or wolf skins, bit their shields and worked themselves into a rage intended to frighten their enemies. During battle, berserkers could allegedly withstand enormous pain.

History nerds, report in.

The vikings weren't really much more violent than other European peoples, most of them lived farming lifestyles typical for the period (marauding in Britain was only a short hobby for a few years, they settled in northern England after that). Some historians think berserkers are why vikings in general have such a vicious reputation - scary bastards left the deepest memories, even though there were so few of them.

(Note: 'Scouse', a term for someone from Liverpool/Liverpool accent, comes from a Scandinavian vegetable stew called skaus. Part of why the scouse accent is so different from other northern accents is 'cos of Scandinavian settling.)

Wookiesmurf

8th April 2009, 06:34 PM

First episode made available for streaming.

http://www.spike.com/full-episode/apache-vs-gladiator/31444

ScottUK

8th April 2009, 09:04 PM

I love shit like this. I'm gonna play along...

The battlefield warrior apache standing toe to toe with a gladiator, who is ultimately a professional duellist? Haha awesome.

Pirate vs. Knight = Reality: Knight. TV Result: Knight ('cos everyone loves a hero)
Taliban vs. IRA = Reality: IRA. TV Result: IRA (due to the fact that the IRA could be seen by US eyes as freedom fighters, even though the taliban fit this ideal too)
Yakuza vs. Mafia = Reality: Yakuza. TV Result: Yakuza (having all your fingers intact doesn't give an advantage)
Viking vs. Samurai = Reality: Samurai. TV Result: Samurai (see Hakata bay)
Green Beret vs. Spetznaz = Reality: Spetznaz. TV Result: Green Berets (even though the Spetznaz outnumbered (and some say excelled in H-to-H combat more than any other modern force) they don't have a chance against American TV producers)
Maori vs. Shaolin Monks = Reality: Maori. TV Result: Shaolin ('cos tattoos are a bad image for the kids)
William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu = Reality: Shaka. TV Result: Braveheart ('cos he loves his Freedom, just like the American TV chaps)
Ninja vs. Spartan = Reality: Spartan. TV Result: Ninja ('cos the kids love 'em)

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Wookiesmurf

8th April 2009, 09:43 PM

My take:

Pirate vs. Knight - Pirate by drowning.
Taliban vs. IRA - No contest due to suicide bombing.
Yakuza vs. Mafia - Mafia by Tommy Gun.
Viking vs. Samurai - Viking by mead and shroom-induced axe rampage.
Green Beret vs. Spetznaz - Green Berets by patriotism.
Maori vs. Shaolin Monks - Shaolin Monks by being awesome.
William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu - Wallace by being in Braveheart.
Ninja vs. Spartan - Spartan. Want a reason? Compare http://www.strongbodies.net/wp-content/uploads/300MoviePic.jpg with http://www.rice.edu/projects/thresher/issues/84/970124/AE/Ninja.final.gif

:D

tango

8th April 2009, 11:52 PM

I watched this show last night..

Apache vs. Gladiator

(Apache actually won a vast majority of the computer simulations)

I think I shall not be interested in watching the show again..

ScottUK

9th April 2009, 12:00 AM

I think I shall not be interested in watching the show again..I bet you do. ;)

You know, if they left it at 'who's the deadliest', I could have gone with the old Apache, but for them to slug it out with weapons and have the Gladiator lose was pure gold.

Computer simulations! Since when did odds decide an outcome? No better than playing Top Trumps... :D

Wookiesmurf

9th April 2009, 12:12 AM

Abramo

9th April 2009, 12:22 AM

I watched a few of these only it was with "Nature's deadliest awes0mezt eXtRemE killing machin3z0rz!!1" (it was like that, really, the name of the show...) and it was the most silly fabrication I've ever seen. It was basically a handfull of young hip looking "experts" tossing a bunch of OPINIONS around about who they thought was the most awesome, and they played around with stupid spring-and-lever "simulations" and stuff... really a waste of time.

Scott got it totally right though, if it was "Iowan Girlscouts vs 6th Soviet Guards Army" the Girlscouts would win...

tango

9th April 2009, 12:41 AM

I wish they would have dropped the trash talk. That was really cringeworthy. And rating the knife as a medium-range weapon? Come on! Not to mention when the gladiator was in mount, bashing the apache's face with the cestus, and suddenly decided to stop and stand up. Will watch again for lulz.

agreed.
i thought the trashtalk was really cheesy myself... although i had a good laugh when the "u.s. army special forces training guru/apache guy" started talking about how bad the apache's war hammer(?) was, and then was completely humbled when that hammer broke on the gladiator's helmet.

overall, i thought the guys representin' the apache side of things portrayed themselves as real douchebags.

corwyn

9th April 2009, 01:18 AM

Wow, that was even worse than I thought. I'd have to be really bored to want to watch another episode.

I never knew that gladiators were whiny bitches, either. LOL

Massimo

9th April 2009, 02:57 AM

Really sad program and actors.. but really good FX

_____________________

SPAM: if you want some real brutal arena fights join this XD
http://bunkertor.mybrute.com

JSchmidt

9th April 2009, 03:30 AM

History nerds, report in.

The vikings weren't really much more violent than other European peoples, most of them lived farming lifestyles typical for the period (marauding in Britain was only a short hobby for a few years, they settled in northern England after that). Some historians think berserkers are why vikings in general have such a vicious reputation - scary bastards left the deepest memories, even though there were so few of them.

Yeah, the farm-loving Danes used their mad cows to conquer England and install a Danish king. :).
It's been a few years since I heard 'they were really only farmers' story.

Maku-san

9th April 2009, 05:10 AM

My humble response:

Pirate vs. Knight - Squirrel Jedi whips both.
Taliban vs. IRA - Squirrel Jedi whips Taliban, goes to the pub with the IRA for a pint or two.
Yakuza vs. Mafia - Squirrel Jedi wisely stays out of this. Let 'em figure this out themselves.
Viking vs. Samurai - As if you have to ask. Samurai, of course!
Green Beret vs. Spetznaz - Squirrel Jedi trained Green Beret. Spetznaz gets schooled by both
Maori vs. Shaolin Monks - Squirrel Jedi gets tribal tattoo and watches "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" with Shaolin.
William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu - Squirrel Jedi has both for dinner. They're the main course.
Ninja vs. Spartan - Ninja worships Squirrel Jedi. Spartan just rides around in pony wagons. Wimp.

Wookiesmurf

9th April 2009, 06:33 AM

I'm quite curius as to who they've got lined up for the samurai episode. It can't be worse than the Tae Kwon Do guy they used in "Fight Science", I guess. I hope they get someone like Ashida Kim or that Choson ninja guy from youtube on the ninja episode. That would be awesome! :D

Shawn Dormishev

9th April 2009, 03:31 PM

lol, A kim would be great.

Wookiesmurf

16th April 2009, 12:31 AM

Samurai vs. Viking episode is up. I'm never watching this show again.

Toecutter

16th April 2009, 12:39 AM

I was switching between shows watching a little of that, I can honestly say I'd like my 10 minutes back. I'd like to see that "high tech mathematical formula" they use to decide who would win if they actually did meet, it looked like a excel spread sheet, A24/C12=Samurai wins.

corwyn

16th April 2009, 12:45 AM

To save me the trouble of enduring the entire show, who won? Samurai or Viking?

It's sad that the most entertaining part of the webstreams is the Stride Gum commercial. The actresses, while completely brainless, are at least nice to look at. More interesting than the show itself.

Toecutter

16th April 2009, 12:59 AM

Black Knight

16th April 2009, 01:01 AM

Samurai won.

This show is for fun, guys. It's not a real intellectual exercise. The factors they consider are really narrow (like pure killing power) and the weapon choices are meant to be exciting rather than practical. I mean, how often did a Viking really throw two spears at once? And the kanabo? Who used that in a real battle? It's an oni's weapon from fairy tales.

Also, the trash talking is kind of rough, but it's clear that the show is designed to encourage that kind of thing.

At the very least, though, the ballistics gel and pig cutting were interesting, although the muscle dude on the "samurai" team didn't appear to have much experience or skill in tameshigiri.

I was really hoping to see them analyze the Samurai with katana vs. Viking with shield and sword matchup. Having done a little "boffer" fighting with one sword against a shield and sword guy for fun, I can tell you it's a puzzle for the single sword fighter, like facing nito but much worse since the shield protects much more than the shoto.

It's an amusing show, but that's about the extent of it.

Wookiesmurf

16th April 2009, 01:14 AM

The most interesting thing for me about this show has to be seeing how different types of armor stand up to various blows and seeing the effects of an attack on the body. The rest of it? Blergh. Comparing a dane axe to a katana and a sword to a naginata, not to mention a spear against the bow? Samurai had spears too, and vikings had bows. But I guess that doesn't fit with the framework of the show.

absenteekendoka

16th April 2009, 03:02 AM

tango

16th April 2009, 03:03 AM

Ok, I'm now officially never going to watch this show again. (Scott was right that I would be back... so yeah, I just had to see the samurai match-up)...

The muscle samurai "sword expert" was completely daft. I'm no iaido guy, but his cutting was absolute shite.
Imagine if he'd had real technical skill rather than just brute strength when cutting through those pigs..
I was, however, impressed with the accuracy of the guy using what I've always thought was called a "daikyu"...

Toshiro Mifune

16th April 2009, 03:13 AM

I agree and never did take this show too serious. Who is thinking about the matchups anyway. Only in a video game or a movie will these warriors come into contact. Apache vs Gladiator, Samurai vs Viking and Ninja vs Spartan. There are too many factors (environment, skill, etc.) involved in real combat and any given day anybody can win. Same thing with those animal shows Anaconda vs Python except the animals don't talk trash.

Anonymous

16th April 2009, 03:37 AM

I love shit like this. I'm gonna play along...

Yakuza vs. Mafia = Reality: Mafia. TV Result: Yakuza

Fixed that one for you. One has greater access to firearms.

ScottUK

16th April 2009, 04:56 AM

Pirate vs. Knight = Reality: Knight. TV Result: Knight ('cos everyone loves a hero)
Taliban vs. IRA = Reality: IRA. TV Result: IRA (due to the fact that the IRA could be seen by US eyes as freedom fighters, even though the taliban fit this ideal too)
Yakuza vs. Mafia = Reality: Yakuza. TV Result: Yakuza (having all your fingers intact doesn't give an advantage)
Viking vs. Samurai = Reality: Samurai. TV Result: Samurai (see Hakata bay)
Green Beret vs. Spetznaz = Reality: Spetznaz. TV Result: Green Berets (even though the Spetznaz outnumbered (and some say excelled in H-to-H combat more than any other modern force) they don't have a chance against American TV producers)
Maori vs. Shaolin Monks = Reality: Maori. TV Result: Shaolin ('cos tattoos are a bad image for the kids)
William Wallace vs. Shaka Zulu = Reality: Shaka. TV Result: Braveheart ('cos he loves his Freedom, just like the American TV chaps)
Ninja vs. Spartan = Reality: Spartan. TV Result: Ninja ('cos the kids love 'em)One-nil to me. Come on guys, get your predictions in! (not that they mean shit with these TV idiots)

Anonymous

16th April 2009, 11:50 AM

I actually just watched it, and I just cringed through the whole thing. They need to get rid of that awful narrator, and the stuntman screwing around with the katana and naginata was pretty bad...

xvikingx

16th April 2009, 12:25 PM

The rest of it? Blergh. Comparing a dane axe to a katana and a sword to a naginata, not to mention a spear against the bow? Samurai had spears too, and vikings had bows. But I guess that doesn't fit with the framework of the show.

Let’s not forget that the “samurai” spanned from somewhere around 700 to the end of the 19th century, meaning that weaponry and tactics varied greatly when you take into consideration the time period and what class of soldier they were. The Viking age lasted (roughly) from 780-1100 but I suppose the same thing applies. Lumping this all together into “samurai vs. Viking”, it’s just ridiculous. If you can do this then why WWII marine vs. continental soldier or the 1973 starting line up of the Philadelphia Flyers vs. Aztecs. (*The Flyers would win BTW)

Togashi Yokuni

16th April 2009, 10:34 PM

Hey guys,

http://www.spike.com/show/31082

"Each week on Deadliest Warrior... Ninja vs. Spartan."

Haven't they done this before (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu6-d2ds7MU)? Doesn't it sound like they even have the same guy narrating? :silly:

Cheers!

Suhail_Merchant

21st April 2009, 03:33 PM

Boy is there some crap on TV.

Black Knight

22nd April 2009, 12:21 AM

Tonight is Ninja vs. Spartan. I can't wait!!!

hl1978

22nd April 2009, 02:48 AM

Tonight is Ninja vs. Spartan. I can't wait!!!

Isn't that supposed to be pirates versus ninjas?

ScottUK

22nd April 2009, 07:08 PM

Full Episode - Spartan vs Ninja! (http://www.spike.com/full-episode/spartan-vs-ninja/31578)

Wow. What a load of bollocks. The ninjer boys got me rooting for the Spartans.

Toecutter

22nd April 2009, 10:24 PM

Full Episode - Spartan vs Ninja! (http://www.spike.com/full-episode/spartan-vs-ninja/31578)

Wow. What a load of bollocks.
That one was pretty bad, I didn't watch the whole thing because of the ridiculous trash talking but I did see how awful the ninjas cut was into the pig, you would think they could at least get some qualified people and what was with the green beret and Sparta. How is there a connection, because we all know that green berets go around wielding spears with shields? Wouldn’t it be better to get real historians to talk about this stuff but then that wouldn’t make good tv.

Abramo

23rd April 2009, 02:28 AM

Wouldn’t it be better to get real historians to talk about this stuff but then that wouldn’t make good tv.

Yeah but it's the same as asking why don't they get some real legit instructors to teach at McDojos...

Toecutter

23rd April 2009, 02:38 AM

Yeah but it's the same as asking why don't they get some real legit instructors to teach at McDojos...
I think those same mcdojo instructors are the ones on the show.

Shawn Dormishev

23rd April 2009, 04:05 AM

lol the ninja guy sucked. wow

xvikingx

23rd April 2009, 10:24 AM

Full Episode - Spartan vs Ninja! (http://www.spike.com/full-episode/spartan-vs-ninja/31578)

Wow. What a load of bollocks. The ninjer boys got me rooting for the Spartans.
Holy sh!t that ninja geek was annoying! He argued like a 12 year old. This show is pants, yet I can't help but watch it. On the up side though, it was filled with some brilliant quotes. -"One kama or two?" Aaaaah yeah....

Mr. T.

23rd April 2009, 05:57 PM

Damn that was bad. And I thought the samurai episode sucked (cheap PC yoroi and a samurai expert who's only qualification seems to be that fact that he's from Japanese decent and an XMA tool).

All the BS past the revue, even the fatastic (ahum) ninja-to. One of the research geeks claimed he tested car crashes, he should have sticked to that (or maybe he was as bad at that jobs as the one on tv, because, damn, he sucks).

Historical flaws, thanks to bad research, are a no brainer if you look at the source (http://www.spike.com/bio/500250)they used:

Source: http://www.ashidakim.com/history.html

Inviting actors and martial arts wannabees instead of real experts doesn't help. Then again, with real expert the show would be boring. It's just entertainment, I'm just lucky they don't have Spike TV in the Netherlands :D

ScottUK

23rd April 2009, 06:33 PM

I can't wait for the Deadliest Warriors episode highlighting the French Army (http://zephyrspix.com/galleries/images/07_adams_shows_off_ninja_moves.jpg).

Mr. T.

23rd April 2009, 08:02 PM

Against who? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJpjhIogXJw)

Toecutter

23rd April 2009, 11:13 PM

I can't wait for the Deadliest Warriors episode highlighting the French Army (http://zephyrspix.com/galleries/images/07_adams_shows_off_ninja_moves.jpg).
Is that the hamburglar in the picture on the wall, I want to see the hamburglar fight the Burger King.

Ookami7

23rd April 2009, 11:58 PM

Darn it, Scott... I owe you some rep for that pict of the French army...... Sadly the Kendo and Iaido gods ain`t listening well..... next scarificial virgin on up....... wait errrrrr the gods haven`t been that kindly lately so they just get a goat instead lol

ScottUK

24th April 2009, 04:19 AM

Actually he is USAF. :D

Maku-san

24th April 2009, 07:11 AM

Is that the hamburglar in the picture on the wall, I want to see the hamburglar fight the Burger King.

Winner takes on Jack from Jack in the Box. Sucker's gotten mean after his near-death experience!!! :eek:

Ookami7

24th April 2009, 08:00 AM

Why am I not surprized by that statement lol

ScottUK

9th June 2009, 11:50 PM

Last in the series tonight - IRA vs Taliban.

http://www.spike.com/show/31082

I expect this is going to be the best one for sheer comedy value...

hl1978

10th June 2009, 12:21 AM

Inviting actors and martial arts wannabees instead of real experts doesn't help. Then again, with real expert the show would be boring. It's just entertainment, I'm just lucky they don't have Spike TV in the Netherlands :D

Apparently the Spetznaz guy had never even seen the spring loaded knife before his segment.

If anyone takes this show as anything other than entertainment, they are way off base.

corwyn

10th June 2009, 12:32 AM

I can't wait for the Deadliest Warriors episode highlighting the French Army (http://zephyrspix.com/galleries/images/07_adams_shows_off_ninja_moves.jpg).

That can't be French Army. There's no white flag on the end of that stick.

ScottUK

10th June 2009, 12:33 AM

It isn't for surrender. It's to test the depth of the shit they've got themselves into again.

corwyn

10th June 2009, 12:41 AM

It isn't for surrender. It's to test the depth of the shit they've got themselves into again.

Wouldn't they need a longer stick for that?

1stdan

10th June 2009, 12:49 AM

My little brother is a stuntman in LA, he has actually worked on a couple of these shows. He was a Viking in one and an IRA member in the other. He said the show is real wonky on set and the "experts" are anything but. The best part of the shows for him was the paycheck.

dwez

11th June 2009, 09:22 PM

And lo it came to pass someone thought it may make a good film...

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/41370

absenteekendoka

11th June 2009, 09:49 PM

This week on the Deadliest Warrior! We are pitting to of historys greatest blowhards together...............phil wright master of the rambling nonsensical diatribe!! VS ricky arias master of an equally long boring and self indulgent diatribe...............one battle, many weapons, and only one shall remain!!

Who......Is................Smelliest!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

sounds like a great start for another exciting installment of the "ultimate battle?"

cr720

30th June 2009, 11:37 AM

Somebody help!! I can't stop watching these shows!!

ChaShu

1st July 2009, 01:18 AM

Gottasay that the Green Beret v Spetsnaz was fun to watch, and the Shaolin v Maori was educational, if only for the portions describing Mau rākau, which is very seldom discussed. Otherwise, good for a snicker, especially at the ninja (but then, don't we always.. :D).