Overcoming the thoughts of quitting

[Mugu]

Hello all, just an warning, this is going to be long...

I recently (about 6 months ago) wanted to completely quit Kendo, and have been thinking/analyzing why so I won't have to go through it again. I'm not talking about beginners who did Kendo for the first 6 months and quit. I'm talking about people who have been doing for 5+ years, Yudansha. I find it disturbing that one day we decided to hate Kendo enough to quit after spending 5 years doing it, and I wonder what you guys think of the following.

Personally, I've been doing it on/off for about 6.5 years. If it wasn't Batzu-maru sensei, I would've been gone from the Kendo scene, and I'm forever grateful for his inspirations and advises. Lately I have found out quite a few people I know in the Kendo scene have also gone and talked to one of them to find out what happened. I come from a very small dojo, the highest ranking is my Sensei who is Yondan. This might not apply to every dojo, but I think I've narrowed it down to three main causes:

1. Dojo environment / lack of support - issues with dojo mates, training that isn't challenging enough, not getting constructive feed backs, that eventually lead to #2

2. Not seeing progress - we all know as we progress, it's harder to see small progresses. Within the dojo, especially as Yudansha and seniors to others, we should question what our roles are. As seniors to Mudansha, we're expected to help the juniors, but for Yudansha, I feel sometime that I was being forgotten that we need to find and develop our own Kendo. That leads to frustrations and can't see small progresses. Someone told me winning in shiai is "the" validation of our skills, sadly to say, sometime it is. Of course, if you lose, it feels like it says something about your Kendo which shouldn't be. Next thing we know, this sucks, I'm quitting. One of the hachi-dan sensei always say: "Do Kihon as if you're doing keiko, and keiko as you are doing Kihon". From that saying, I feel to fix not able to see progress is relatively easy: asked to be pushed harder and expect more from ourselves. We can blame this and that, none of us have mind reading power... maybe some... :) But simply by asking our sempai to push us harder, and expect more from ourselves like getting nice clean Ippon on beginners, no ducking, weird Kote etc... I feel we can better ourselves slowly without realizing it, and "winning" will come with strong basics and high expectations.

3. Personal issues - I feel that they're never the issue. Personal issues are just excuses. It's always been there. Work, life, boyfriend/girlfriend, and what not. It's always been there before Kendo. A matter of pulling ourselves outta our own asses really :) Unless you move etc... something extreme.

What are your thoughts on this?

[MikalMysha]

I agree with your number three completely. With number one and two, I think that a supportive dojo can help you overcome the learning curve. I've found that at least for me, the Dojo and the people in it are the pivotal point and I think that's why I ended up walking away from Tae Kwon Do permanently after almost 7 years, the people in the dojo soured my experience so much that it ruined the sport for me.

I know now that if/when I look for a new dojo, kendo or otherwise, the number one thing on my list is the people there, and after that everything else. (which is actually kinda funny because I'm very much an introvert)

From number one comes all other problems, until the last straw when you lay down your shinai and walk away.

[sarge127]

I do not wish to see myself quitting from it... at all in the far future.

[Mugu]

I agree. I asked myself the same question that I want to do Kendo as a hobby or take it more seriously. I know I want to do it as a hobby, but at least I want to get something a bit more out of it.

We cannot control how others behave. I guess what I'm trying to do is to how and what I would do to overcome something I can do about. How others act that I have no control. By focusing what I need to work on, I'm hoping to filter out the unnecessary noises also. Fortunately that I practice with a great group of people, I was going through #2 more than #1.

@sarge127 - I hope you won't neither. It's just part of what life is, we all have our ups and downs. Just trying to understand the frustrations of others.

[turboyoshi]

I think most people will feel like quitting at times. Changes in life circumstances cannot be helped, and the dojo environment probably can't be helped unless you live in an area where there are multiple dojos you can train at. In that case the solution is to change dojos.

If it's because you can't see improvement, I think the cure for that is changing your routine. You've probably hit some plateau and no amount of advice/encouragement seems to help. It may help to get inspiration from outside sources; you may gain ideas from reading books or watching videos or, if you're fortunate enough, visiting other dojos and seeing how they train or hearing how those sensei explain a waza or critique a flaw. I like to keep a video of Miyazaki doing kote-kaeshi-kote that I think is just amazing. Even though I think I'll never be that fast or have such beautiful timing, it still inspires me to train harder. And it helps to practice fun waza like kaeshi waza just to get away from the common debana/aiuchi waza. Or, go back and look at older videos of you if you have them. You'll surely see a difference and realize that you have improved. Sometimes you might even need to just take a break from kendo for a month or 2. Do something else for a bit and come back to kendo with a fresh outlook. Maybe just go back to focusing on basics like suriashi, suburi or kata and have faith that you will eventually be able to incorporate that improvement into those areas where you don't think you're improving.

[MikeW]

I agree with turbo, I think most people have thought of quitting at some point if they have done it long enough. I don't necessarily agree with Mugu's third point however, life can at times be hellish bad and I don't personally think of it as an excuse if you've lost your job, had your house foreclosed on and declared bankrupty. I think of that as a huge obstacle that is a valid reason to at least put kendo on hold. ;)

[Mugu]

@turboyoshi - completely agreed with your points. Where I'm at, my dojo is what I have, the other one is about an hour away. So just tried to make the most out of it. Funny, I tried all of the stuff you said lol But no fire. Sadly to admit, it was after a big shiai and shinsa was coming up that finally got my head outta my own ass to start pushing harder. Because of that, I also remember why I did Kendo, cause there's no better feeling than whacking someone on the head and get a bruised elbow from a missed Do while loosing weights :P


I agree with turbo, I think most people have thought of quitting at some point if they have done it long enough. I don't necessarily agree with Mugu's third point however, life can at times be hellish bad and I don't personally think of it as an excuse if you've lost your job, had your house foreclosed on and declared bankrupty. I think of that as a huge obstacle that is a valid reason to at least put kendo on hold. ;)

Well, I did say there are exceptions :P And to your point, I agree also. Well, I'm saying like "ohhh I broke up with my bf/gf... DEPRESSED! Quitting!" If I lose my house or whatever, I'd put it on hold also :P There's the saying "If there's will, there's a way" I'm just saying :)

[jjcruiser]

I agree with turbo, I think most people have thought of quitting at some point if they have done it long enough. I don't necessarily agree with Mugu's third point however, life can at times be hellish bad and I don't personally think of it as an excuse if you've lost your job, had your house foreclosed on and declared bankrupty. I think of that as a huge obstacle that is a valid reason to at least put kendo on hold. ;)

+1 rep

[I'm apparently not allowed to give more rep to Mike without spreading it around more, but that's what I would have said too. I think about whether I will quit, whether it's because of the cost, or the time investment, or because I'm tired of getting injuries or headaches or whatnot. But if you have serious personal obstacles, those are pretty good reasons to put everything else on hold for a while.]

[DigitalDowntown]

I've taken time off from kendo time in the past because of various reasons, I don't necessarily think it's all that bad. Sometimes life takes another direction on you. I never thought I'd leave kendo permanently, don't think I ever will, but my wife and I have started having that 'kids' talk and I could see needing to possibly having to take time off again when life throws that curve ball at me.

[Fudo-Shin]

I hope you find a way through Mugu, I think that the questions you are asking yourself are all part of the journey. We will inevitably come up against in 'impass' from time to time, I see this as completely normal and I think that finding the way through is very much part of your shugyo. If you feel that you don't have sempai/sensei to push you - maybe you could try asking what keeps the kodansha (outside asia) going when they have been in that situation for many years, how do they challenge themselves and keep improving regardless of (in alot of cases) only having low dan and mudansha to practise with? Not only do they carry on but they still find a way to continue learniong and pass 6/7 dan shinsa in the process, of course they may have had a good grounding to begin with but there is still (surely) difficulties at times in keeping their budo in a positive light internally.

Something that comes to my mind was from a good (one of many) KW article from a while ago, "Kendo to me, The Attraction" translated by Helen Iwata. It is the short autobiography around Makita Minoru sensei, in the first paragraph he mentions;

"There were times when I spent every spare minute on kendo, times when I took appropriate breaks, and times when I wanted to train, but couldn't. I love kendo, so I never considered giving up (even if he did would he admit it?). People say that "continuity builds strength". I think that's true and I'm glad I continued. I'm very grateful for what I have learned through kendo."

I don't know why but during the hard times I always think of the first sentence in that exerpt. Of course it's apples and oranges (maybe even laughable!:)) comparing my own shugyo to that of a hachidan hanshi but it inspires me to carry on none-the-less. I just came through another rough patch earlier this year and I'm really starting to enjoy kendo again now (and progress) - I hope you can get through yours and find the right head-space again.

[Fudo-Shin]

Just a thought to add to that, I have started to notice in the last few years that only a very small percentage of "kendo" is learning the use of shinai/katana/bokuto etc, there is a whole lot more (that I cannot even begin to articulate) to "kendo". As Neil and many others would say; "Never give up!!". Taking a break, IMO, is not giving up - unless you are resigned to the fact that won't step into the dojo ever again, I guess.

[rfoxmich]

The thing about quitting is that quitting is easy...going back when you realize you miss it is hard. This is because there are even more excuses (my favorite being "I'll go back but I have to get in shape first"). Sometimes kendo does get frustrating and, if there's not a supportive atmosphere to get you through it, either in the dojo or at home or in your peer group (yeah and how many of them understand what you go through in practice), there will be that little voice in the back of your mind saying...screw this... I should just quit. I suggest instead, if the voice gets much too loud to ignore..not quitting taking a break, a sabbatical if you will to give it the name one kenshi I deeply respect gives it.

During that break (put a time span on it)...keep asking yourself questions about kendo
- Why do I do it?
- Why did I want to stop doing it?
- How can >I< approach kendo in a way that helps me:
* Get more from it
* Figure out where and how I need to improve?
* Break through whatever was frustrating me.
- Do I want to go back to kendo?
- If not why not?
- If so why?

If you've stuck with it as long as you have, and are where you are now, you'll probably go back..and having called this a break, with a fixed time span will make it easier to do so. The questions you ask...yourself as well as maybe your kendo friends here...may help you when you do go back.

Minneapolis means I probably know your dojo and instructor...feel free to PM me if you want to talk a bit more about what you might not want to share publicly...and everything you do share will be held in confidence.

Ron.

[Bokushingu]

I have pondered quitting multiple times since i pulled my groin muscle...And not just for that reason.

!) I have found it very hard to fit in. not so much because of the people, but mainly because in my area it is such a tight knit community. there are families and generations of kendo. in fact many of the adults in my area have been doing kendo with their friends for decades! Then here i come only for a few years. im pretty much an outsiders...most of the kenshi in my fed are very hospital and include me in many things! i can't blame them. i just know deep down inside it will be decades before i truely become one of them.

2) sometime it's hard to understand things around me. i get yelled at a lot. i try to relate things but the bottom line is i just can't understand why things are the way they are. for example just recently i failed the kata for my 3 dan test. i passed the shinsa geiko. but i failed the kata...my mind just cant get it. recently im doing kata everyday now to prepare for the make up, im hoping it will click. people do spend a lot of energy explaining it to me, but to be honest, i really don't feel any love for kata. Im not sure if that coming from my boxing background or what. It's not that i failed the kata that makes me feel hopeless, it's the reason why i failed. San dan is a very serious rank. how can i be a good 3 dan if i can't connect to the kata?

personal conflict or loosing or not seeing progression has never been a reason for me to think about quitting. I feel that way because you will meet those hurdles in any social enviornment...they are just trials and you can't let that stop you.

[Benjimaru]

I am a former quitter :emb:

1.5year of Kendo with great sensei(s) in a prestigious club, reached nikyu, realized I hated the part of Kendo where you have to actually fight! :ponder:

Took me 8 years to have the balls returning to Kendo... Now 3 years later I can't spend a week without it.

Sometimes I wonder what would my kendo be like if I hadn't quit...and then I want to knock my head of the wall :)

Ben

[Mugu]

2) sometime it's hard to understand things around me. i get yelled at a lot. i try to relate things but the bottom line is i just can't understand why things are the way they are.

My sensei yells at me a lot, too. But I take that as he has high expectations from us. If he doesn't yell at what we're doing wrong, I take that he doesn't give a crap about me. So I personally won't take being yelled at as a bad thing. You know how tough-love sensei's are, they yell at you, make you feel embarrassed and frustrated. But after a while you realized what they were saying, they really just want the best from us. I guess I was going through the same thing and felt frustrated also, but this is part of Shu-Ha-Ri in order to progress on anything, not just Kendo.


for example just recently i failed the kata for my 3 dan test. i passed the shinsa geiko. but i failed the kata...my mind just cant get it. recently im doing kata everyday now to prepare for the make up, im hoping it will click. people do spend a lot of energy explaining it to me, but to be honest, i really don't feel any love for kata. Im not sure if that coming from my boxing background or what. It's not that i failed the kata that makes me feel hopeless, it's the reason why i failed. San dan is a very serious rank. how can i be a good 3 dan if i can't connect to the kata?

I also almost failed my Kata last weekend for Sandan (I managed to skip one set :cheeky: no one saw it). But quite a few sensei's told me right before the test, don't worry about Kata too much. If you passed Shinai geiko, you still have one full year to re-test for Kata. Since the most important portion is the Shinai part. Therefore, I don't think you should feel hopeless. But as I was told, but Yondan is a different story.

Thanks for the input, this is exactly what I'm wondering from other Kenshi. What their experiences were. Thank you for sharing.

[Nukitsuke]

I hope you work through your feelings and come to a conclusion.

From a teaching standpoint, those who are "on the edge" of staying or going are easy to spot in class by the way they conduct themselves, their questions, and the amount of effort they put into it. Once a teacher sees that, they too have to decide, are they going to give more effort - maybe talk to them and work through the issues to try and keep that student, continue with business as usual, or (hopefully not) maybe even decide that they're not worth the effort and their instruction time would be better spent with those who are giving an effort.

If you feel you're not being challenged, are there any other opportunities to get some training from another location / dojo? You're in the MWKF, and as Mr. Fox said, there are other kendo players in the region. Maybe you should try to get some traveling mentor sensei to come in and offer seminar / keiko? Or, make the trip East / SE and find some other groups to practice with on occasion or have them do a dojo exchange with you and your mates.

When I was doing kendo (a long time ago) I wanted to practice and keiko with as many people as possible. If you can find a way to do that, maybe you'll add that spice and challenge that you're seeking.

Talk to Mr. Fox, he's a great resource, and maybe can help you, and possibly any other dojo mates who are also having the same feelings.

Good luck,
Brad

[Mugu]

I hope you work through your feelings and come to a conclusion.

From a teaching standpoint, those who are "on the edge" of staying or going are easy to spot in class by the way they conduct themselves, their questions, and the amount of effort they put into it. Once a teacher sees that, they too have to decide, are they going to give more effort - maybe talk to them and work through the issues to try and keep that student, continue with business as usual, or (hopefully not) maybe even decide that they're not worth the effort and their instruction time would be better spent with those who are giving an effort.

If you feel you're not being challenged, are there any other opportunities to get some training from another location / dojo? You're in the MWKF, and as Mr. Fox said, there are other kendo players in the region. Maybe you should try to get some traveling mentor sensei to come in and offer seminar / keiko? Or, make the trip East / SE and find some other groups to practice with on occasion or have them do a dojo exchange with you and your mates.


Anderson Sensei, I have finally pulled through, thank you for your advises. I guess my points were more of a general summary of the people I've talked to and a few are from myself. I wasn't necessary experiencing all of it.

I think overall I forgot one important factor: stress. Stress from work was probably a major factor for me that I forgot about. Stress + yelling = bad combo, hehehe I guess all in all, every time I have the thought of quitting, I just have to say "It's fun to whack people on head!" I personally prefer imaging tomahawking people on Black Ops, but whatever works :-D

[Kapplow]

The lack of progression thing is tough.

Especially if you're in a dojo with a high-rank sensei. When I started Kendo I learned from books I hate to admit. Then I finally was able to make road trips to visit qualified sensei 4+ times a year. But during that time I always assumed that regardless of my dedication my rate of progression would be slower than those that practice with a qualified sensei every practice. But that didn't matter to me because I'm just happy to do Kendo. I guess what I'm saying is that we should all strive to improve but we have to actually enjoy Kendo at it's most basic level first and enjoy it for simply for what it is. We all should strive to improve, but we also need to enjoy the journey too. Maybe you should ask yourself if you enjoy "just Kendo" not Kendo environment, Kendo politics, or Kendo improvement.

I understand what you're going through. My Kendo life is going great but after 6+ years of Naginata I'm taking a "break" for one the reasons you listed. It's not easy or simple decision to make.

I hope you continue because I saw you at nationals and I think you're really strong and have a great sense of humor :D

[unworthy]

At the very beginning of my kendo carreer (first three years) I sometimes had to fight similar feelings. In the end was really helped me was attending some weekend seminars. Perhaps you can also try that next time you face problems like that.
* Even if Kendo in the home club get's depressing you can experience Kendo again how it could be.
* Also I enjoyed meeting kendo friends again, drinking beer and exchanging "war stories" from past seminars or competitions.
* Because of the compressed training time your own kendo can sometimes make a small leap of progress. This may be more true from beginners with <3 years of experience.
Beware! Going back to your home club can be a cold shower, but I don't know if your it was really the problem to begin with.

[Gessho]

Embrace the feeling and just quit. Then, when the subsequent emptiness engulfs you, crawl back to your dojo and beg forgiveness.

[Bokushingu]

Embrace the feeling and just quit. Then, when the subsequent emptiness engulfs you, crawl back to your dojo and beg forgiveness.

hahahaha. nice; i get what you are saying :) but i think this thread is more about when you doubt your kendo path & continuing seems very much against stream. I don't think it's about quitting, but more so identifying & dealing with the things that make it hard for us to continue... :)

[DigitalDowntown]

Tai Chi, Fencing, and Wing Chun... best possible combination; especially when you have glowing skin.

[turboyoshi]

Tai Chi, Fencing, and Wing Chun... best possible combination; especially when you have glowing skin.
He's got the glow! (best Last Dragon quote)
I can't tell if the bots are getting smarter or if this is a legit question. Of course, Kendo is the best. At any rate, style does not matter, quality of instruction matters. Also, there's no need to combine them. One style is sufficient.

[Rabo]

going to one knee for a breather is not shameful. to give up and concede defeat is weakness - which comes from within, consider your wants, consider pros vs cons. make your decision, live with ur decision. do not regret it. i recommend, take a breather, visit other arts. you will appreciate your own much more. :)

[Mugu]

He's got the glow! (best Last Dragon quote)
I can't tell if the bots are getting smarter or if this is a legit question. Of course, Kendo is the best. At any rate, style does not matter, quality of instruction matters. Also, there's no need to combine them. One style is sufficient.

So my 100th Dan in Gaming & 200th Dan in Sarcasm on top of my 3 Dan in Kendo won't work out if that's what you're saying???!!!!!!! Maybe that's why I wanted to quit :)

[turboyoshi]

So my 100th Dan in Gaming & 200th Dan in Sarcasm on top of my 3 Dan in Kendo won't work out if that's what you're saying???!!!!!!! Maybe that's why I wanted to quit :)
I'd have encouraged you to consider how much better you'd be if you spent all that time wasted on gaming and sarcasm on Kendo instead, but that might make you want to quit again. Instead I'll say, devote yourself to the One True Way (and don't forget to pay your weekly 10% tithe for a reserved spot in Kendo heaven.)

[Jiyoui]

I spent so much money on this bogu and shinai crap if I quit now I'd be wasting a lot of money.

[b8amack]

I'd have encouraged you to consider how much better you'd be if you spent all that time wasted on gaming and sarcasm on Kendo instead, but that might make you want to quit again. Instead I'll say, devote yourself to the One True Way (and don't forget to pay your weekly 10% tithe for a reserved spot in Kendo heaven.)

If I spent all the time I spent on gaming and sarcasm on kendo (and I already do a lot of kendo), I think I'd have no tendons or ligaments left in my body within a year. The sarcasm alone would kill me!

[turboyoshi]

If I spent all the time I spent on gaming and sarcasm on kendo (and I already do a lot of kendo), I think I'd have no tendons or ligaments left in my body within a year. The sarcasm alone would kill me!
That's the Devil speaking! (or the Fluffy Bunny those heathen aikidokas worship, I get them confused sometimes.) Do not listen to the words of the Devil! (or Fluffy Bunny.) Remember the words of Beer and you shall not stray from the One True Way. "For whosoever believeth in me, has the strength of 10 men and the power to seduce any woman." (Beer 1:10) We'll pray for you brother, be strong.

[Bokushingu]

so that's it! i guess it's good to take a step back and look at the comical side of training...and let a few jokes out to get rid of the negative feelings, huh? After reading the last 5 to 6 post, i definately feel a lot less stress. :) Thanks for starting this thread & the great post from everybody. :)

[Mugu]

so that's it! i guess it's good to take a step back and look at the comical side of training...and let a few jokes out to get rid of the negative feelings, huh? After reading the last 5 to 6 post, i definately feel a lot less stress. :) Thanks for starting this thread & the great post from everybody. :)

Thanks Boushingu for all of your inputs, I think you're probably the only person read through my post and understand what I'm trying to get at lol

But all and all, thanks to this experience, I really learned to have fun... especially during Shiai. I used to be way too tense and beat myself up too much for this and that. But now I only beat myself up during Kihon practice for doing ugly Kendo... while still trying to have fun. I crack jokes during practice... what can I say, I'm a 200th Dan in sarcasm :laugh:

[MiddleEarthNet]

I agree with your number three completely. With number one and two, I think that a supportive dojo can help you overcome the learning curve. I've found that at least for me, the Dojo and the people in it are the pivotal point and I think that's why I ended up walking away from Tae Kwon Do permanently after almost 7 years, the people in the dojo soured my experience so much that it ruined the sport for me.

I know now that if/when I look for a new dojo, kendo or otherwise, the number one thing on my list is the people there, and after that everything else. (which is actually kinda funny because I'm very much an introvert)

From number one comes all other problems, until the last straw when you lay down your shinai and walk away.

I agree with MikaMysha here. The first (European) fencing club I joined, I was with for 15 years. But things at the club had deteriated to such a bad extend that I was on on the verge of quitting fencing altogether. I changed clubs and my love of fencing has been completely restored. And with that, the better enviroment has meant that for the first time in years I can see an improvement in my techniqe and results.
Try a different dojo or even several. Maybe one of the sensei in a differet one can renew a love of kendo.

As for the people in the dojo. Even my parents who show no interest in my kendo have commented how sociable my kendo dojo is. But not so relaxed that people don't improve.

[b8amack]

Thanks Boushingu for all of your inputs, I think you're probably the only person read through my post and understand what I'm trying to get at lol

But all and all, thanks to this experience, I really learned to have fun... especially during Shiai. I used to be way too tense and beat myself up too much for this and that. But now I only beat myself up during Kihon practice for doing ugly Kendo... while still trying to have fun. I crack jokes during practice... what can I say, I'm a 200th Dan in sarcasm :laugh:

I almost never talk once the men is on.

[Mugu]

I almost never talk once the men is on.

Not full blown jokes, chuckles here and there :)

And that got me one last thought: The most common yelling we get in my dojo is "relax!" - you can only do your best Kendo when you're relaxed and not over thinking. All I'm saying we have the luxury of not turning Kendo into a job, so don't. Nobody likes to work after work... unless you're a cop in Japan.

[Mugu]

I almost never talk once the men is on.

Not full blown jokes, chuckles here and there :)

And that got me one last thought: The most common yelling we get in my dojo is "relax!" - you can only do your best Kendo when you're relaxed and not over thinking. All I'm saying we have the luxury of not turning Kendo into a job, so don't. Nobody likes to work after work... unless you're a cop in Japan.

[ShinKenshi]

Not full blown jokes, chuckles here and there :) We usually see this happen when we have a brain fart or both go for do simultaneously.



I've been thinking a lot about the original points Mugu raised and, while a little late to the party, thought I might add my two, rather long winded and rambling, cents.

1. The dojo atmosphere/environment can definitely have a profound impact on who leaves and who stays with it for the long haul, especially if someone is on the precipice.

2. Hitting those big plateaus is definitely a downer but I've usually seen it happen right around passing or preparing for shodan. People level out at this point and can get very frustrated at not seeing much progress and get fed up completely. Loosely tied to that is the rare occasion someone thinks that they'll never reach an acceptable level of skill and become dissatisfied with everything. This to me is the completely wrong way of looking at kendo, or budo in general. Let's face it, there's always going to be something you need to improve on so all you can do is keep trying and accept that there are going to be times where your progress is going to be very small and sometimes it'll be quite big. In this regard, the first and second points have a symbiotic relationship where they both feed off of the other. If one is lacking then the other suffers for it.

3. Personal issues come in all sorts of shades of grey and at times, they will require us to take a step back from kendo to take care of it. Mind you these periods are never permanent and when they pass, it's time to pick up your shinai again. That being said, there are certain things that may very well completely prevent you from returning, such as a permanent debilitating injury or relocation to somewhere that is several hours away from the nearest dojo. On a whole however, I feel personal issues are the easiest to lure you into using as excuses for not coming to practice and quitting outright purely because many do (and should) take priority over all else. If these things require you to take a break for a while, go for it as long as you intend to come back once it has passed.

In my case, I'm lucky enough to have not ever entertained the idea of permanently quitting because of the great atmosphere at my dojo and a sensei who knows exactly how to inspire us to get back into the fight. That same inspiration helps us invigorate the beginners and motivate them to stay in it with us. It generates this unspoken mantra of, "come on, I want you to catch up to me so you can push me like I've pushed you!" The longer we stay with it, our mindset shifts from pure physical improvement to incorporate mental improvement (kakarite to motodachi if you will) and the cycle keeps repeating itself with more beginners joining us. I find this to be my motivation to stay with it no matter what comes my way and, as overly sentimental as it sounds, I hope each new beginner picks up on this as well.

[Tort-Speed]

I was/am lucky - body sort of unlucky (ACL and Achilles like the Angels of Death just waiting for the next over-doing-it) - that fate seems to be keeping me on the Kendo road. Or who knows - as others who explain better have written, you miss it and get back to it. Recently restarted Karate due to a mini-hoodlum (MH) who keeps sending his cronies around my house who deposit little hints and stuff to let me know he - the MH - can get within striking distance anytime. When I had a freak accident (lost my balance and crashed onto a low fence, chest-first) last month and broke a rib, my new Karate Sensei suggested I take a rest AND also consider stopping Kendo. I was shocked - the Kendo spirit is always there, like breathing or sleeping, a natural part of my life, anyway. I really hope all works out for you.

[Charlie]

What a great thread. I wrote about this topic recently in Kendo World, tied to testing. I have to go back and re-read some posts from this thread in greater depth but some thoughts if I may.

-Some people in some dojo do all the teaching and don't get enough time to concentrate on their own kendo. This should be addressed. Some ways to do that are to travel for harder practices or do separate advanced practices or workouts.

-Some people in some dojo can find themselves sort of socially frozen out by language or cultural barrier. The dojo I know try to include everyone but the barrier exists despite best efforts. It's very valuable to have a social circle around you that makes second dojo just as fun as first dojo. Some sensei I know from a predominantly Japanese dojo recognize this and try to ensure there are more non-Japanese in the club. In other words, you can go to the bar or restaurant with the Japanese guys often but still feel kinda lonely as they converse in a mixture of English and Japanese. It's important to be able to talk about kendo in your own language. You also end up talking about everything in your life and forming deep friendships.

[yingxuy]

I think, I mean, we all should strive to improve, but we really enjoy it the most basic level of kendo first, to enjoy simply, what it is. We should all strive to improve, but we also need to enjoy the journey.

[Mako]

With regard to the OP, here are some words that have helped keep me inspired to do Kendo;

"The difference is in your mind. It's attitude. You see, Martial art is always about live and die. It does not matter if you are going to die or not. If you look at a shinai and think "that's just a bamboo stick", you're doing a sport. No problem. But martial art is not only for dojo training. It's for life. Now it may be a bamboo stick, but tomorrow it could be a terminal disease, a close relative death, or you losing your job. Those are strikes that will cut you as hard as a blade. The martial art will provide the right attitute to face the problems."
- Chiba

[sarge127]

Hey guys, I know this thread maybe out of date but...

During the holidays, i got a lot of criticism on why im doing kendo, a lot of negative thoughts and comments by my friends and family...
I told them why i was doing it, but they thought of it as me being naive... like big time naive.
But i tried and i tried to let them get the point they got it, but they just put me down the negative side...
But as the new year got here i told them im going to continue my kendo, but my friends are now encouraging to go to airsofting as an extreme sport.
I looked into videos and even tried out a game at Xtreme-Tactics in winnipeg, really fun with friends.
Im having thoughts of not buying bogu and just getting gear for airsoft, but im looking for a job to pay for the two, while school is here im having a rough schedule. But my confidence in me doing these things is really high, but i could get careless at the same time...

[DigitalDowntown]

Hey guys, I know this thread maybe out of date but...

During the holidays, i got a lot of criticism on why im doing kendo, a lot of negative thoughts and comments by my friends and family...
I told them why i was doing it, but they thought of it as me being naive... like big time naive.
But i tried and i tried to let them get the point they got it, but they just put me down the negative side...
But as the new year got here i told them im going to continue my kendo, but my friends are now encouraging to go to airsofting as an extreme sport.
I looked into videos and even tried out a game at Xtreme-Tactics in winnipeg, really fun with friends.
Im having thoughts of not buying bogu and just getting gear for airsoft, but im looking for a job to pay for the two, while school is here im having a rough schedule. But my confidence in me doing these things is really high, but i could get careless at the same time...

Well, I like to play paintball on occasion, and I own an airsoft gun too, but none of that has anything to do with my decision to do kendo. It sounds like you just played airsoft recently, why would one have to replace the other? Are your friends upset that you spend some hours each week enjoying an activity without them?
I understand that you may not want to spend the cash on buying all of your gear for both activities right now, but do you have to? I own some of my own paintball gear and just use the stuff available at the field for the rest; I can't imagine an airsoft field where you must bring all your own gear. Does your kendo club/dojo have available bogu for your use?

It sounds like you genuinely enjoy doing kendo and want to continue. I think it would be very unfortunate if you quit while feeling forced out of it.

[JSchmidt]

I think looking at both kendo and airsofting as 'en extreme sport' is probably where you went wrong.

[FastKendo]

My suggestion is, DON'T let those who only knows a little, having a major role in your decision. Talk and ask about kendo to your sensei, talk and ask about airsofting to your friend, then ask yourself whether you want to do any or both. I personally think that Kendo is offering a lot more than just a sweating and fun activity such as airsofting, but airsofting is still fun and could give you some benefits.
Gain informations from those who really knows, then talk to yourself whether you want it or not. That's what I will do if I were you. \
Just a suggestion..

[jjcruiser]

I was just talking to my wife the other night about this topic, sans the "airsoft" part, and made the point that when I was first starting I felt like my particular sensei and dojo was instrumental in keeping me interested and going -- I had thought it took a very particular place to make a person want to stick with Kendo. But that recently I'd started thinking that it actually takes a very particular person to want to stick with Kendo and the place is secondary.

I don't know sarge but I know his time in life and when I was that age I flitted from one hobby to another almost before I'd even started it. If I'd started Kendo then I suspect I would have quit within a couple months. Now it's almost like an addiction; even though there's tough things about it (which for me are work/family balance and repeated injuries) I can't imagine not doing Kendo and go through withdrawal if I miss a week.

My point is to not worry these issues so much. Either you'll feel a pull to stick with it or you won't. You're not a bad person is you don't want to stick with Kendo. You can do a different activity. But if your only problem is buddies and relatives giving you grief, I'd tell you what I told my son when he started Kendo with me:

You need to commit to it long enough to know what it really is, but once you've done that, continue because you enjoy it for yourself. Not to impress me. You need to figure out what you like doing for you.

[Electronegative]

This is just random thought that popped up by reading last few responses. Can you really say that you are doing Kendo or know whether you like Kendo or don't like it unless you are in bogu?

[Halcyon]

Short answer: Not really.

[turboyoshi]

This is just random thought that popped up by reading last few responses. Can you really say that you are doing Kendo or know whether you like Kendo or don't like it unless you are in bogu?

I agree, you don't really know the kendo experience until you've been in bogu but I'd also qualify that to say, you need to be in bogu long enough to grasp the basics of creating an opening and exploiting it. Many people quit soon after getting into bogu. I don't think they can grasp the real challenge of jigeiko at that stage but that's when kendo really starts to become more interesting, imo.

I'd say a year is the minimum you need to do kendo to appreciate it properly but even that might be a little short.

[jjcruiser]

I'm approaching four years and still don't feel like I create and exploit openings. But I think I understand kendo enough I could make an educated decision whether to continue.

[Electronegative]

Glad we agree!

[b8amack]

I was just talking to my wife the other night about this topic, sans the "airsoft" part, and made the point that when I was first starting I felt like my particular sensei and dojo was instrumental in keeping me interested and going -- I had thought it took a very particular place to make a person want to stick with Kendo. But that recently I'd started thinking that it actually takes a very particular person to want to stick with Kendo and the place is secondary.

It can be a bit of both, but I agree with you. It takes a certain kind of personality, to really get the bug.

[pgsmith]

I was just talking to my wife the other night about this topic, sans the "airsoft" part, and made the point that when I was first starting I felt like my particular sensei and dojo was instrumental in keeping me interested and going -- I had thought it took a very particular place to make a person want to stick with Kendo. But that recently I'd started thinking that it actually takes a very particular person to want to stick with Kendo and the place is secondary.
This is true of any of the sword arts. I believe this is why there is so much turnover. In most hobbies (let's not turn this into a semantics thread eh?) it is easy to enjoy it even if you never bother to push past the duffer stage. The sword arts are very hard to learn and, as b8amack said, it takes a certain type of person to want to continually push themselves to learn the subtle nuances that are at the core of all of them.

A good example is a couple of guys that joined our dojo last year. They had inexpensive Chinese made swords and wanted to learn how to use them in the event that the apocalypse happened. One stuck with it for a while, learned some of the gross movements, then he was done. The other got hooked on the subtleties. He's gotten to the point that I can correct something he is doing, and I'll see the light go on as he realizes that it changes his mechanics and approach. I think he'll stick around for a while because I can see the excitement when he knows that he's gotten some small part correct.

[sarge127]

Thanks guys!, all of you made me want to do kendo more, i need to experience in bogu first!

[enkorat]

I usually tell students after their first day they put on bogu and the men that they did kendo for the first time that day, and that before that they hadn't been doing kendo. Part of the difficulty in transitioning into bogu is thinking that until that point you think you "know" how to do kendo, but in fact have no idea. I also tell them that its normal to feel like they can't do anything, because of the weight of the bogu changes how their body moves and where their balance is, and they have to re-think about the basics (footwork, swinging) and run through them again to figure out how to move. Lastly I say that one day they will forget that they're wearing the bogu, and that it will take about a month to get there.

[Big One]

From my experience, Are you going to quit Kendo or not depends on what yo want to achieve in your life. Some people can relate Kendo or other hobby to thier objective, some don't. At some point in your life when you are sure that that is what you want for the rest of your life and the correlation your hobby to improve your objective, you will not quit what you are doing as a hobby. I did Judo before when I was young and when I was searching for what I want with my life. When I found Kendo as the same time I got my objective for my life, that's set. There is nothing wrong with quitting Kendo but what important is can you use it to improve your search for what you want to achieve in your life.

[Tort-Speed]

"The important thing is this: to be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we could become."

(Charles du Bos [alias Charles du Bois?] in his 1922 book "Approximations" as translated into English)