Are you lonely?

[DCPan]

http://www.mailorderhusbands.net/order/

[Kote-Men]

Oh man.... that's great....

That reminds me of Dodgeball: a True Underdog Story, where the strange man had a mail-in-wife.


I deal in reality...and the reality is that I'm ready for love. I can chop lots of wood. Order me, I have good all-around hygiene and I recently discovered Viagra so, I am eager to meet some ladies. oh how terrible. :)

just wondering when you stumbled across that website...

[Andoru]

"Success Story"?? Wow!!!! :D

[Kaoru]

OMG, that was too funny! I couldn't stop laughing! :D They couldn't possibly be serious! hehehe!

Kaoru

[DCPan]

Did you take the compatibility test? :rolleyes:

[Nanbanjin]

OMG, that was too funny! I couldn't stop laughing! :D They couldn't possibly be serious! hehehe!

Kaoru
If you're really interested, this old goat is gift wrapped and ready for priority delivery. :wink:

[Kenshin Axel]

Geez Nanbanjin,
I see you are interested in very bad pick up lines, heres my list:

"I'll just call you lassie, because my barns on fire, and little Timmy is trapped inside."

"Hey, are those space pants? Because your ass is outta this world."

"Hey, I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can sure make your Bed-rock."

"Your father mustve been a baker, cause your buns are great."
__________________________________________________ _________________
Anyway, back to topic,

DCPan, I see on you sig, your name is David, why were you looking at a site where you can order a husband??

[Reina]

Geez Nanbanjin,
I see you are interested in very bad pick up lines, heres my list:

"I'll just call you lassie, because my barns on fire, and little Timmy is trapped inside."

"Hey, are those space pants? Because your ass is outta this world."

"Hey, I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can sure make your Bed-rock."

"Your father mustve been a baker, cause your buns are great."
__________________________________________________ _________________
Anyway, back to topic,

DCPan, I see on you sig, your name is David, why were you looking at a site where you can order a husband??
*is laughing to hard to comment*

[Nanbanjin]

*is laughing to hard to comment*
Who's laughing? I've used most of those.

[DCPan]

DCPan, I see on you sig, your name is David, why were you looking at a site where you can order a husband??

My current job has me sitting next to the customer service call center, where there are a lot of single women.

The call center manager was yelling about sexual inequity of mail-order brides...so, one of the girls forwarded him this site.

Then, the word got around....

:smoker:

[Reina]

Who's laughing? I've used most of those.
I just think they're so funny though!(I think most stuff's funny unless its something really serious; otherwise I laugh at almost anything(ESPCIALLY after having lots and lots of sugar)) :wink:

[Kaoru]

Did you take the compatibility test? :rolleyes:
No. To be honest, I was scared to. hahahaha! :D

Kaoru

[wickedhavoc]

Now that is some sick $h!t....lol

[Nanbanjin]

I just think they're so funny though!(I think most stuff's funny unless its something really serious; otherwise I laugh at almost anything(ESPCIALLY after having lots and lots of sugar)) :wink:Why didn't you laugh at reg's post then? Need more red cordial?

Edit: Ah, right... 13 eh? Forget I mentioned it.

[reg]

Why didn't you laugh at reg's post then? Need more red cordial?

Edit: Ah, right... 13 eh? Forget I mentioned it.
i think the word "roger" when used as a verb offends her. but sexual innuendos are fine. *cough*desklamp*cough*
^^;;

ps. i might get a burning reply after this..

[Nanbanjin]

i think the word "roger" when used as a verb offends her. but sexual innuendos are fine. *cough*desklamp*cough*
^^;;

ps. i might get a burning reply after this..
Well bugger me with a fish-fork!

Does that mean it would have been ok if you had said you had given Miss. Univrse a bit of the old "private tsuki practice", nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more...

[Swissv2]

"is your dad a rocket scientist? Cause Baby you're da BOMB"

:rolleyes:

After marrying a sweet young woman, a 90-year-old geezer told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.

"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a bear charged him. Pointing his umbrella at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."

"Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed. "Somebody else must have shot that bear."

"Exactly," replied the doctor

Hehe felt like telling a small joke.

[Nanbanjin]

"is your dad a rocket scientist? Cause Baby you're da BOMB"

:rolleyes:

After marrying a sweet young woman, a 90-year-old geezer told his doctor that they were expecting a baby.

"Let me tell you a story," said the doctor. "An absent-minded fellow went hunting, but instead of a gun, he picked up an umbrella. Suddenly a bear charged him. Pointing his umbrella at the bear, he shot and killed it on the spot."

"Impossible!" the geezer exclaimed. "Somebody else must have shot that bear."

"Exactly," replied the doctor

Hehe felt like telling a small joke.
Nice. Here's one from last night's AFL footy show.
***********************

A set of jumper leads and a bra walk into a bar.
The set of jumper leads goes up to the counter and orders a beer but the bar tender refuses to serve him. He asks why and the bar tender replies "Well, you look like you might start something and your friend there is already off his tits".

[Andoru]

Nice. Here's one from last night's AFL footy show.
***********************

A set of jumper leads and a bra walk into a bar.
The set of jumper leads goes up to the counter and orders a beer but the bar tender refuses to serve him. He asks why and the bar tender replies "Well, you look like you might start something and your friend there is already off his tits".
Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!! :D

[Zaphiel]

(ESPCIALLY after having lots and lots of sugar)) :wink:
you have this too...and i always thought that i'm abnormal...well now i still think i'm abnormal, but i really feel better!
do you eat the sugar just as it is or do you eat it in forms of candy?
(yes this question IS odd...but it is meant seriously!!!)

[kenshin13]

ahahaha, you guys are leaving me in stitches!!! :D :D :D

I especially like swissv2's joke hehe. :D

[Reina]

you have this too...and i always thought that i'm abnormal...well now i still think i'm abnormal, but i really feel better!
do you eat the sugar just as it is or do you eat it in forms of candy?
(yes this question IS odd...but it is meant seriously!!!)
Both. :smiley: Usually candy though(or other things that just have lotsa sugar in them.). My friends usually beat me to the sugarcube box. Caffeine doesn't really affect me aside from the fact it encorages my insomnia. But too much sugar and I'm gone...

[Zaphiel]

well.......wow....
just like me...CCOOOOOOOLL

[grasshopper_r2]

More lines for the needy:

"did it hurt, when you fell from heaven"
"Are you tired, you've been running thru my mind all day"
"If I had a swing like that, I'd ride it all day"

Note to self..If your name is Randy, don't introduce yourself that way to an English girl! (better be quick with the duck!)

[Zaphiel]

More lines for the needy:

"did it hurt, when you fell from heaven"
"Are you tired, you've been running thru my mind all day"
"If I had a swing like that, I'd ride it all day"

Note to self..If your name is Randy, don't introduce yourself that way to an English girl! (better be quick with the duck!)
how about:
you stink...let's have a shower

[Infinity]

lines i actually heard...

you daddy is a theif...he stole the stars and put them in you eyes...

you look like sharon stone... (i really didnt know how to take that one)

wana go make out in the cells? (during a party at an old gaol)

i bet i will look better after i buy you a few drinks.

[kanyil]

I remember this line from the Martin Lawrence show:

"Hi babe, looks like you've got some black in you"

"no?"

"would you like some?"

[ShudoKan Kai]

Geez Nanbanjin,
I see you are interested in very bad pick up lines, heres my list:

"I'll just call you lassie, because my barns on fire, and little Timmy is trapped inside."

"Hey, are those space pants? Because your ass is outta this world."

"Hey, I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can sure make your Bed-rock."

"Your father mustve been a baker, cause your buns are great."
__________________________________________________ _________________
Anyway, back to topic,

DCPan, I see on you sig, your name is David, why were you looking at a site where you can order a husband??Another bad line:
'Your father is a thief! He took all the stars in the sky an put them in your eyes'
Whoops, same line above. But I can't delete the message entirely

[rin-chan]

i have one
Legs is the word of the day, lets go home and spread the word.

[Zaphiel]

Kissing is the language of love....so lets talk

but that one is ancient

[ISSAC RU]

what a bunch of poor guys....

[Zaphiel]

what a bunch of lonely poor guys???

.......that's more correct with me

[AkuSokuZan]

what a bunch of poor guys....
I agree Whole heartedly

[ISSAC RU]

those guys shoudn't throw themseleves in to
that web site and let ppl to pit them..!

they should fight for their own respects!

[AkuSokuZan]

LOL I wouldn't say so it's quite fun sharing these things

[Lloromannic]

So, did anyone get one of these husbands for christmas?

[AkuSokuZan]

So, did anyone get one of these husbands for christmas?
I assume you are NOT serious?

[ISSAC RU]

haha...i will buy one of those guy and help me with the
dojo floor after and b4 clean up..with TOWELS !!!

[Lloromannic]

I assume you are NOT serious?
You assume correctly.
Although now that I think about it they might make a better hitting dummy than the ones they sell on e-bogu. You just need to tell him it's bondage gear.

[Commander]

oh my god i got

http://www.mailorderhusbands.net/soulmate2.html

[Fonsz]

Have you sent him already an e-mail?

[Frame]

omg, i think i've found the perfect man for me!!! oh yes sir-ee!

http://www.mailorderhusbands.net/order/images/21.gif

i'm trembling from excitement, i just have to email him


(yes and i am joking, just to make sure you know)

[Frame]

omg commander you got the same guy as me, HE'S MINE I TELL YOU

and have you seen the success stories page?


Mark's understanding of English is rough due to his learning disabilities, but they are both fluent in the language of love.

who wrote that junk?

[Melancoholic]

Geez Nanbanjin,
I see you are interested in very bad pick up lines, heres my list:

"I'll just call you lassie, because my barns on fire, and little Timmy is trapped inside."

"Hey, are those space pants? Because your ass is outta this world."

"Hey, I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can sure make your Bed-rock."

"Your father mustve been a baker, cause your buns are great."


hahah... nice Axel.

Here's my favorite if a woman asks you where you're from:
"Baby, I'm from the future. I just came back to tell you that 100 years from now,.... we're still in love."

And of course, there's:
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" :D


(edit: aw crap I was viewing this in the hyper-thread mode. Thought Axel's was the most recent post. d'oh!)

[Hai_hai's_mom]

is anyone here feeling lonely? i am always available!

[Anjin-san]

Just so we're clear... we're all in agreement that that website is a joke right?
------------------------------------------------------------------------

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
HaiHaiMom you're posts are the coolest ever. Go on. Keep going with your really cool prostitute jokes, everyone loves them.

[Lloromannic]

Here's my favorite if a woman asks you where you're from:
"Baby, I'm from the future. I just came back to tell you that 100 years from now,.... we're still in love."

And of course, there's:
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" :D
One pickup that actually works (not always):
"Hello, I think you are pretty, can I buy you a drink?"

[bokkenbreaker83]

GoodQuotes.com - Funny and Inspirational Quotes (http://www.goodquotes.com/pickuplines.htm) this has a lot of good pickup lines...lol

[Zaphiel]

hpoly cow...there are some damn funny ones .....=)

Turn to the girl sitting next to you at the bar and say...
"I'm not really this tall....I'm sitting on my wallet."
well if girls really do like money!!!

[kuzu70]

How about "Girl are those space pants you are wearing?"
Girl: "What?"
"Cuz that @$$ is outta this world!"

[Hai_hai's_mom]

Oooooh you know how to make a girl hot!

[J-san]

OMG!!! That has got to be the weirdest site ive ever seen. I told all my friends about it, we have laughed about it for like a week now.

J-san

[bokkenbreaker83]

my personal favorite... "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in"

[Vortex]

I met this one girl while I was still in college and I couldnt help but ask what perfume she was wearing cause it was driving me nuts.. in a good way.. to which she replied something peaches. I could not resist. I know it was the line from the movie Face Off but I had to say it. " I could eat a peach for hours." I think that relationship lasted like...six months.. I still love that line though.

[James1287]

I am well aware that this site is a little over the edge, and of course the responses are jokes, but there are still a lot of sad sites nowadays with desperate lonely individuals who are understandably single. I mean it is easier for ugly and yes pathetic men to get women then it is for it to happen the other way around. This should not be the last or first resort for any man or woman. Just show people the true you, you know your beautiful personality, and if you dont have one then fake it.

[Random]

OMG!!! That has got to be the weirdest site ive ever seen. I told all my friends about it, we have laughed about it for like a week now.

J-san
Ah, the kenshi breed is a strange one.