What Do I Do?

[The Red Shadow]

Hi.

I have been playing kendo for about a year now and I have a problem that I need some advice on.

Recently I let it slip that I was practicing Kendo, around a guy who's a bit of a jerk. There was a falling out between him and some friends of mine. I wasn't involved, but I like to stay on good terms with people and not take sides or make any enemies, so he may have got the impression that I like him more than I do. Needless to say I'm not a huge fan of him myself.

When he heard I was playing kendo he expressed interest in joining, and that he had been unable to locate a dojo in our town.

I tolerate the guy, but he's mouthy, loud, arrogant, and a smartass. He's never done anything to do with martial arts before, or sports, period. I am unable to imagine him behaving porperly in the dojo.

If he decides to take up kendo it will be at my dojo since he lives in the immediate area. He'll rely on me to introduce him and teach him a thing or two, and that's not something I want to deny him, since I wouldn't deny a newcomer who is a stranger to me. I do realize that kendo and the martial arts can have a significantly positive effect on someone like him, but it will take a while for him to adapt, and I don't want his inevitable poor behavior reflecting on me.

Was I just wrong to mention kendo in the first place?
Was I wrong in letting him think I like him more than I actually do?

What would you do in my situation?

[nalogg]

Aw dude...

I dont know what i'd do in your place...
Maybe just let him come to the dojo and see what's going on.. maybe if he watches a practice he'll see the way people behave and understand...

that's a tough one!

[Enderin]

wow, thats a tough problem indeed.

I think usally people like that just get excited about other people's hobbies and want to try it out, so its very possible that he'll come to one practice, get really tired,
and you know how tireing kendo can be,
and quit.

if not, just beat him up all the time and say you're slipping or its an accident...
:\

[Hai_hai]

Was I just wrong to mention kendo in the first place?
Was I wrong in letting him think I like him more than I actually do?

What would you do in my situation?

1. No, you weren't talking to him, you were talking to other people.
2. Yes.
3. Kendo is such that the practices, in and of themselves, will weed out those who are not determined, unless their parents are forcing them to learn kendo.

[The Red Shadow]

wow, thats a tough problem indeed.

I think usally people like that just get excited about other people's hobbies and want to try it out, so its very possible that he'll come to one practice, get really tired,
and you know how tireing kendo can be,
and quit.

if not, just beat him up all the time and say you're slipping or its an accident...
:\
I know he's genuinely interested in Japanese swordsmanship, but on more of a special-effects movie level.

He's no "sportsman", as it were.

[The Red Shadow]

3. Kendo is such that the practices, in and of themselves, will weed out those who are not determined
This is true. But it's the inital embarrassment that I'd like to avoid. I wouldn't mind at all if he stuck through the practices and turned out to be a good student, as long as he doesn't get off to an idiot start.

[Akechi]

You have a though situation in your hands
.
The bad thing is the fact he thinks you are a good friend or at least someone he can use to achieve his objectives. These kinds of people generally are selfish and can dissimulate that fact very well.

The important part is the fact that Kendo is not as spectacular as the movies he likes to see. Maybe with time that will be a turn off for him.

We began Kendo classes in Oporto in November 1 2003. Half the people gave up in 7 months. Some of them tough that they would learn to jump 5 meter walls as you can see in movies, others where there because of the Last Samurai movie. Wrong place for them also. Finally a young girl that came from a Taekwondo school began hitting everybody hard enough that we could FEEL the hard the impact through the Men. Of course she began to be treated in a way she felt very bad. Well with time she got worse more violent everyday. Now we are using the fact that she doesn’t pay for tree months in a row to put her out. It’s sad but sometimes this happens. Fortunately that for each bad element that gave up appeared 5 or 6 that are good persons. We have in Oporto around 80 persons practicing 3 times a week. It's just an example.

You shouldn’t think that you can’t speak about kendo only to someone that knows what it is and understands the philosophy of it. You should be proud to practice such a noble art and speak freely about it but if you met someone interested that hasn’t the right attitude just exaggerate on the hardships they have to endure when training and probably they will give up quickly.

[yamaguchi]

Sensei is not in Dojo for only teach Kendo(sorry all the Sensei!). In my opinion, we are trying to teach not only skills, but also sprit of Kendo and so on.
So if you have a problem, you should talk to your Sensei. Just like you wrote in thread as it is.
It is also about Kendo, not like you and your partner on life issue.
So talk to Sensei. if you do not want to talk to your sensei some reasons, then e-mail to him.
If you do not like this idea, then just say your friend to e-mail your sensei. Should be introduce himself to Sensei, and ask for permission to join the Kendo by himself. Just tell him that it is custom that way. but this idea is only if you do not want to do the first idea.
Yamaguchi

[yamaguchi]

If you are Sensei at dojo, then it is different.
I do not know what to say to you.
Deeply concern. That's all I can say.
Yamaguchi

[Mikeyprime]

Hi.

I have been playing kendo for about a year now and I have a problem that I need some advice on.

Recently I let it slip that I was practicing Kendo, around a guy who's a bit of a jerk. There was a falling out between him and some friends of mine. I wasn't involved, but I like to stay on good terms with people and not take sides or make any enemies, so he may have got the impression that I like him more than I do. Needless to say I'm not a huge fan of him myself.

When he heard I was playing kendo he expressed interest in joining, and that he had been unable to locate a dojo in our town.

I tolerate the guy, but he's mouthy, loud, arrogant, and a smartass. He's never done anything to do with martial arts before, or sports, period. I am unable to imagine him behaving porperly in the dojo.

If he decides to take up kendo it will be at my dojo since he lives in the immediate area. He'll rely on me to introduce him and teach him a thing or two, and that's not something I want to deny him, since I wouldn't deny a newcomer who is a stranger to me. I do realize that kendo and the martial arts can have a significantly positive effect on someone like him, but it will take a while for him to adapt, and I don't want his inevitable poor behavior reflecting on me.

Was I just wrong to mention kendo in the first place?
Was I wrong in letting him think I like him more than I actually do?

What would you do in my situation?
Very simple. People that are jerks (or people that you described aove) generally know that someone really doesnt like them, but they will use them to any extent possible when they see someone has actually given their annoyance some attention. Thus if he inquires to start kendo, give him the contact information to your dojo and have him do his own thing. What he does. says, and acts like is no reflection on you if you are a genuine person practicing kendo for the right reasons. your kendo mates and sensei will be able to see that. And if you are still worried, tell your sensei that he is an acquaintance that was interested in starting and you do not know him well. the most important thing is not to feel obliged to do anything for him. It is not your responsibility to set him on the kendo path, that is his.

[Neil Gendzwill]

What Mikeyprime said. Let the guy introduce himself. If your sensei asks you, just say he is an acquaintance. He's probably going to quit within the first month anyways.

[louisvandalen]

Maybe you can bribe your sensei with a bottle of whiskey. As soon as the guy starts practicing he can set him up with the worst clubber you have in your dojo. Give him your worst dojo issued men (very friendly) and use him for men practice at least 2 hours. By that time he's going to contact the local chessclub and will probably fear you forever.

Best Regards,

Louis

p.s. But when I think about it, better follow some other advice.

[Charlie]

Of course, maybe he'll take to kendo and kendo will have a transformative effect on him and make him a better person. I am not so cynical that I don't believe this is possible, it is possible.

[Hai_hai]

Of course, maybe he'll take to kendo and kendo will have a transformative effect on him and make him a better person. I am not so cynical that I don't believe this is possible, it is possible.
As a self-proclaimed ninja, I know people and this dude is a loser. Call me a cynic if you must.

[nalogg]

As a self-proclaimed ninja, I know people and this dude is a loser. Call me a cynic if you must.AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hai hai once again you've broken me up.
If i had been drinking liquid of any sort right now.... god only knows

ps: I want to be a self proclaimed ninja too. I think i'd be good. I'm always flipping out, and wailing on guitar.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v60/Nalogg/power.jpg


Here is me FLIPPING OUT

[Nishi]

What would you do in my situation?

I think its a simple situation. As the guys here have mentioned, you may be his connection to kendo, but your not his Dad, he is responsible for himself, and you are responsible for yourself. First impressions may be what your worried about, but given time, this guy will prove himself one way or the other.


I tolerate the guy, but he's mouthy, loud, arrogant, and a smartass.

This makes for better kendo than someone who is timid....he may have potential...lol!!

[Hai_hai]

This is true. But it's the inital embarrassment that I'd like to avoid. I wouldn't mind at all if he stuck through the practices and turned out to be a good student, as long as he doesn't get off to an idiot start.
Okay. Maybe direct confrontation would be a good idea.
1. Set up a meeting so you can tell him your feelings.
or
2. Poop on your hand and throw it at him.