(Silly) Questions and their answers

[Stefan]

Beginner at his first lesson:"Do you meditate during the training?"
Experienced's reply:"We call it kakari geiko."

Beginner:"I want to learn the form of two heavens."
Trainer:"What?"
Beginner:"The one with two swords."
Trainer:"We learn to handle one sword, first."

[Hai_hai]

Kendo World forum beginner: Which bogu should I buy? I have over $1000 to spend.
Me: Go to hell.

[Holmgren-san]

(First lesson ever for both of these beginners)(actual quotes)

Beginner #1: Man, I just don't want to get hit, it looks like it hurts!
Beginner #2: (already bought his uniform; looks like he just finished Kill Bill) Ahh, I'm not worried about pain.
Sensei: First you practice here for 6 months, then I'll tell you if you're worth beating up or not.
Beginners #1 & #2:*silence*................*blank questioning stares to the more senior students*

"Ahh, the power of not being a beginner anymore"(in the sense that we don't:

Ask stupid questions
Act cocky(you know, the highschool Freshman-Sophomorish cocky)
Pretend we know alot
etc. etc. etc. etc.

[Kaoru]

(First lesson ever for both of these beginners)(actual quotes)

Beginner #1: Man, I just don't want to get hit, it looks like it hurts!
Beginner #2: (already bought his uniform; looks like he just finished Kill Bill) Ahh, I'm not worried about pain.
Sensei: First you practice here for 6 months, then I'll tell you if you're worth beating up or not.
Beginners #1 & #2:*silence*................*blank questioning stares to the more senior students*

"Ahh, the power of not being a beginner anymore"(in the sense that we don't:

Ask stupid questions
Act cocky(you know, the highschool Freshman-Sophomorish cocky)
Pretend we know alot
etc. etc. etc. etc.

hehehehe! Too funny! :D

Kaoru

[menken]

How do I score a point?

Uhh...the right hand goes on top.

[ISSAC RU]

B : when do I start to use some real sword ?

M: .............................-_-''

[Vortex]

"Do the pleats go in the front or back?"
"Both"

[Lloromannic]

ME: [to sensei's daughter] How old is your mother?
Sensei's Daughter: [Making a scared face] Huh....................
Sensei: [Standing unnoticed by me at my back] None of your business [hits me on the head with shinai]
ME: (T_T)

[Will]

B: how are you so much better than me?
A: um...that whole 20 years kind of helps....

[Masahiro]

Me: "sensei, how did you get that blue cloudy sky color effect on the handle part of your shinai? It looks really cool"
Sensei: "uh...!@ (smiles politely) actually you get that from the kote."
Me: <thinking to myself>. .. ...(Wow, I feel stupid)

[Beckmeisterrr]

ME: [to sensei's daughter] How old is your mother?
Sensei's Daughter: [Making a scared face] Huh....................
Sensei: [Standing unnoticed by me at my back] None of your business [hits me on the head with shinai]
ME: (T_T)
You can't be serious!! Are you serious??? I would be horrified if that happened to me!

[Stefan]

Beginner:"I want to go the way of the warrior."
Trainer:"Go to the graveyard."

[Lucien]

rare intelligent question:

Beginner: 'Is this where the mad people practice?
Sensei: Approving nod

[Serenity]

Before ji-geiko:
Me: "What should I do?" :cry:
Sensei: "Just hit them." :devious:

Serenity :emb:

[LNGUYEN]

Beginner: How can't I fight with my own style
Sensei: No you can't, until you are good enough
B: Then when I am good enough to fight with my own style
Sensei: When? well like when you are 6 dan
B: :confused2

[nalogg]

beginner: I found this awesome "stars and stripes" hakama on the internet! so i bought it- LOOK!

me: ACK! I'M BLIND!

[Shiro]

beginner: I found this awesome "stars and stripes" hakama on the internet! so i bought it- LOOK!

me: ACK! I'M BLIND!

Me: aw come on! What's wrong with that hakama? :D
....

[Lloromannic]

You can't be serious!! Are you serious??? I would be horrified if that happened to me!
Yes I am serious. But it was more a playful hit, I am good friends with her, her husband (who is also sense) and her daughter.

[Slade]

B: "Which part is the kissaki?"
A: *poke*
B:"OW! Ohh...."
A: *grins*

[Andoru]

Beginner: what's tenouchi?
Me: here I'll show you "tenouchi"... *evil grin*

[Eiliries]

Overheard in my government class:
"I just started to take Tae-bo lessons, so you better not mess with me"
Needless to say, I was in hysterics....

[Serenity]

We were doing kihon kata; it was sempai turn, but he didn't do anything...

Me: "Sempai, it's your turn." :cheerful:
Sempai: "You are dead!" :devious:
Me (really confused): "I'm not dead, I think I'm still alive." :normal:
Sempai: "You are dead!" :D
Me (even more confused): "Why should I be dead?" :down:
Sensei: "You are dead!" :laugh:
Me: ... :confused:
Sensei & Sempai (pointing on the floor): "You are ouside the tatami." :p
Me (looking on the floor): "Not again!" :eek:

Serenity :emb:

[rainmaker]

After ji-keiko with 6th dan sensei who also went to WKC... I was so frustrated..

me asking other 3rd dan isntructor: ummm,,,, does any of you know how to hit him or just touch him ?

3rd dan : Please let me know if you found how...

[Shiro]

After ji-keiko with 6th dan sensei who also went to WKC... I was so frustrated..

me asking other 3rd dan isntructor: ummm,,,, does any of you know how to hit him or just touch him ?

3rd dan : Please let me know if you found how...

Wasn't that Takenaka Sensei? :)

[AkuSokuZan]

Me: Why do you have such a short Bokuto???

Misato-san: Its for the small people like you!!!

[Nanbanjin]

Beginner: Does getting hit in the head all the time give you brain damage.

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahaha.... Why me laugh?

[Lloromannic]

Beginner: Does getting hit in the head all the time give you brain damage.

Me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahaha.... Why me laugh?
Similar to:

Friend: I bet you one fifth of a colourless, tasteless alcoholic drink I can do more hayasuburi than you.
Me: Sure
Both: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, [...]100, 101, 102, 103, [...] 356
Friend: Alright you win.
Me: 357, 358, 359, [...] 500
Friend: You can stop now, you won.
Me: [while still doing hayasuburi] Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy,Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy, Too many suburi makes Jack a dull boy [...]

[Gonzo Nakayui]

Beginner:
Where can I buy a good bogu?
Sempai:
Walk out of the dojo, jump into your car, turn left at the traffic sign, drive to the air port, fly to Narita, take the subway to Tokio, and start asking mean looking old men: Goodo bogu wa doko desu ka?