Help with being more aggressive.

[Kirsty]

I've been in Kendo for a year and a half, but I had to quit for a while because I was really sick. I'm back in it and I just can't hit hard enough. People always tell me to hit harder, but I find it hard especially since I am shy and afraid to hurt anyone. Speaking of hurting people. Once when I was being helped by someone I accidentally hit someone in the back of the head where there was no bogu! :confused2
Anyway, does anyone have any advice to get over my fears and be more aggressive? People who started Kendo after me are passing me by. Its getting a little embarrasing. Thanks for any help. ^_^

[ISSAC RU]

sorry to hear u r quiting kendo...but the reason is u r sick?
u mean like ''really sick '' or just '' sick ''

being more aggrasive , all u need to do is to virtualize a shiai into a real battle .
and let ur kiai out and try to fear out ur opp. by ur loud kiai..thats what i do.

[Pan-Chan]

Well, I think the only way to get over this fear is to jump in and face it. I'm not sure if you are in bogu or not, but when you fight(or do any striking practices) try having a mentality that the person standing in front of you is inbetween you and where you want to go. And that the only way to get to that spot, is by going forward and through the person. It is not only for your benefit, but also those you work with. When you strike with conviction, using seme, it helps the one recieving your strikes to develope their eyes, and many other things. Plus you will set a good example for the other beginners in your dojo. Those things helped me when I was questioning what you are.

Bogu is tough, you won't hurt anyone. Think about using tenouchi and your shoulder blades to make the strike, so you don't hammer your opponent into the ground.

These are just some things that I have found helped me. So I'm not trying to say that those are the "only correct' ways of fixing them. Talk to your sensei and sempai about this, ask them if they ever had the same problems. It's likely that they have, and will beable to aid you in overcoming it.

In the end it will proabably boil down to you just needing to practice and develope a feel for actually striking people. But good luck, and I hope this helped a little bit.

[Neil Gendzwill]

You have a really common problem for female kendoka, so don't think you're unusual or anything. One thing you can do is get a friend to help you understand how hard you should hit. Ideally this friend should be one of your sempai with enough experience to understand how kendo hits should feel (2 dan+). He should just let you hit him freely, men and kote. Start with your regular hits and then get harder and harder until he tells you that they hurt too much. This should give you a better idea of how hard you can hit than just someone saying "you're hitting too soft". Once you know how hard you should be hitting, drill kakari-geiko with your friend a bunch of times and have him make sure that you're always hitting with the right power, not too hard and not too soft.

[Kirsty]

I've been in bogu for almost a year.

Thank you for your help everyone. ^_^
I will try not to worry so much.
One of my friends wants to join kendo, but can't because her parents think the dojo is too far away. Maybe I can ask her to wear the bogu so I can practice hitting it. I would feel more comfortable if I knew the person better.
Thanks again. :)

[ISSAC RU]

damn..i didn't read correctly..u r not quiting..u quited b4...
um...sorry for the useless post

[Neil Gendzwill]

One of my friends wants to join kendo, but can't because her parents think the dojo is too far away. Maybe I can ask her to wear the bogu so I can practice hitting it. I would feel more comfortable if I knew the person better.
Kirsty, someone who doesn't play kendo isn't going to be too much use to you for this. I understand that you're shy but I think you need to ask one of your sempai to help you. You might be surprised to find out how supportive they are. Most of the senior people are really anxious to help out the younger members - this is the future for our clubs, and we'd be stupid not to do all we can to help.

Hint - you can do this as part of jigeiko. Jigeiko is a chance for you to work on whatever it is your kendo needs.

[Kirsty]

Kirsty, someone who doesn't play kendo isn't going to be too much use to you for this. I understand that you're shy but I think you need to ask one of your sempai to help you. You might be surprised to find out how supportive they are. Most of the senior people are really anxious to help out the younger members - this is the future for our clubs, and we'd be stupid not to do all we can to help.

Hint - you can do this as part of jigeiko. Jigeiko is a chance for you to work on whatever it is your kendo needs.
Yeah. Thats a good point. ^^; My friend probably wouldn't have any idea what to do. All the people at the dojo I go to are really nice. They are all willing to help me.

[Infinity]

I too have been struggling with the problem of being too timid and my strikes being too soft. One of my sempai said to me during training yesterday ‘you can beat me up!’ I took this as meaning I was not hitting hard enough and I wasn’t showing enough or any seme.
I’m not naturally aggressive (I doubt many women are) and I do find it difficult sometimes to hit harder or even kiai loud.
Getting direct feedback on my strikes from one of my sempai is an excellent idea.
Thanks Kristy for posting this question and thanks Neil for giving an answer that I can use.

[joekc6nlx]

My sensei advises us to develop a "kill or be killed" attitude during jigeiko. In other words, if you don't strike your opponent first, you will almost certainly be struck yourself, and then lose your match. Losing is frustrating, especially when you know why you lost, but didn't do anything to prevent the loss. It hearkens back to the samurai facing each other in battle. If you were facing death, you'd either fight or run. Since a matter of honor was at stake, they fought.

Fortunately, kendo isn't about killing, it's about improving yourself. As Neil stated, asking your sensei and sempai is the best way to do that, since they can guide you along your progress. Every senior member in my dojo (and I'm almost the juniormost) is willing and pleased to help the junior members. Don't ever be afraid to ask for help, that's why they are there.

[tantadi]

Maybe you can try to be determined and not think in ways of aggressiveness?
Aggression is often associated with anger and wanting to hurt people, but I don't view myself or my trainingmates that way. If someone hit you too hard, you know that it is an accident (unless that there is something wrong with that person). Other people will see your misplaced/hard hits that way as well.

Regarding shyness and being determined: Try to forget about the other people, just focus on doing what you should do; and do it as well as you can
with as much spirit that you got. That might sound difficult, but it is letting the rational rule the emotions, it is a decision that you make and try to live up to.

Good luck!!

[Optomitrist]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm reading a book on Kendo spirit and philosophy. They say that when you do Jigeiko you are eliminating you "ego". You are forgetting who you are and the only thing that matters is what you are doing right now. They also said that you and your fellow students and instructors are there for a single purpose, enlightenment. Not the enlightenment you do in yoga and Tai Chi Chuan. You get it by hitting and being hit. You do not hit the opentent mellevolently but rather you are enlightening their spirit. You are helping them break through their "ego". So hit them hard. You are doing them a favor.

[nothing]

get mad.. or think of something that upsets you.. let it build in yoru chest, and be carried out as energy with you kai.... that's wwhat I do...

[Infinity]

Maybe you can try to be determined and not think in ways of aggressiveness?
Aggression is often associated with anger and wanting to hurt people, but I don't view myself or my trainingmates that way. If someone hit you too hard, you know that it is an accident (unless that there is something wrong with that person). Other people will see your misplaced/hard hits that way as well.

Regarding shyness and being determined: Try to forget about the other people, just focus on doing what you should do; and do it as well as you can
with as much spirit that you got. That might sound difficult, but it is letting the rational rule the emotions, it is a decision that you make and try to live up to.

Good luck!!
mmm determination rather than agression? i like it. i can be very determined.
thanks tantadi.