Stupid Kendo Tricks

[Raiza]

Do you have an amusing tale to tell of waza gone terribly wrong, preferably without disabling yourself or anyone else? Also, if you have some accounts for kendo-related hijinks they'd be most welcome.

Here's one of my dysfunctional waza...
We were in very crowded conditions and I had the opportunity to do a really nice dou during jikeiko, so I hit a nice solid dou with both hands. As is my habit, I let go of the shiai with my left and and carried the stroke through with my right hand, while moving forward. Just as I brought the shinai outwards but the tip didn't completely clear my aitei's dou, the neighbouring kendoka was pushed towards me. Needless to say, the end of the shinai handle caught on that fellow while the tip was still on the aitei's dou and I was nicely divided at the waist by my own shinai. Everyone was ok, but I was more than a little embarrassed...

[kendokamax]

On an early saturday morning,

during kihon waza once, I completly missed my waza (dont remember what it was, I think hiki-do) Happened that I hit 3 different people that were surounding me, (my aite and two other people), and I think I hurt myself too on the same swing. My sensei was looking in our direction at the same time and said: "3 injured on one hit !". was funny......however its not as funny when you describe it with words ....

[Atama]

I was fencing in really crowded conditions at a seminar, I saw an oppertunity to take dou as i did the guy fencing next to me got a lil too close and to my shinai round the back of the head...he wasn't amused. Another time in a sunday class I was in chudan and my partner knocked my shinai down to take men as i tried to regain my center i accidentally caught him in the balls with my shinai.... best thing about it is we have it on video.

[KhawMengLee]

Heh, I've seen the dou attempt hitting the back of someone's head a few times but the tsuki to the balls is a classic.

Hmmnnn, I was doing jigeiko with a junior and he kept trying to hit without breaking center so I was lowering my kensen to hit his mune to push him back but he choose to attack at that moment...it was a beautiful kihon men.

Good form and footwork and zanshin. But my shinai sakigawa hit his chest and slid right up under his tsuki-guard into the right side of his throat under the jaw. It looked like he ran real fast into a low branch. He was okay though...just looked like his girlfriend gave him a real big hicky...

[nodachi]

Hasn't happened to me, but it looks cool when my sensei is practicing with the younger children in the club and if they aren't paying enough attention to what they are doing then he will disarm them and send their shinai flying across the dojo floor.

[hobbit]

practising tai-atarai against my sensei, hit him as firmly as i could, got "hmmm, more hara". tried again, same response. third time gathered myself and launched, sensei appeared to just settle in place, i appeared to have been hit by a freight train. i flew back about 10 feet without touching the ground, and gently slid down the wall, just like a cartoon; to hilarious laughter from the rest of the dojo.

[Tato]

We were at the end of a serie of kihon practices, and the sensei decided that we sould strecht by doing some jodan like posture when you point towards the sky with the shinai, (I think that its sinkokiu, but i'm not sure about the spelling).

You see all the members doing this exercice, but one who didn't ear the instruction, and decided by himself to repeat our previous exercices, do uchi.

Over his aite, who was complety off guard, and doing as everybody his stretching exercise. Full kiai on a silent dojo. Great do.

Big laugther.

[Hongsermeier]

Atama...where I used to practice there was a woman who had a habit of going short on kote, then as she tryed to recover while you come in for the open men you'd get the tsuki to the balls. We even named the waza after her.

[Atama]

Hongsermeier...our dojo has nicknamed the waza sKrote.

[taiwnezboi]

Hongsermeier: I did that to my friend once during an open class when we were sparring.. needless to say we stopped after that happened.. =P

[Danny Boy]

11th Nakakura cup, team shiai, my good buddy and team-mate D.McK goes into godan against a french team member...who imidietly fumi-komi-ashi-es for men....and impales his "nether" region onto D.McK's shinai.

Suffice it to say that the entire Taiseidokai team present went up in cheer. ROFL


P.S.

does anyone have a URL with the movies/pics from the 11th Nakakura seminar/cup ?

[Critical_Bill]

heh,i had a day of inspired kiais, and at the beginning of a jigeiko with my sempai i screamed at him "get ready for some hard rocking" and without even checking if i had the center i launch myself into a full on tobikomi men and promptly scewer myself on his shinai, lost momentum and fell on my ass :)

now having your body curled around your neck from a good tsukee is weird and uncomfy in any situation, but in mid air it's
almost surreal heheh, needless to say that was my last inventive kiai for a while heheh :D

[JSchmidt]

Trying to keep up with my sensei's sake-drinking pace at this nights bonenkai..I'm gonna regret that once I wake up.
(I guess that's the reason his 7th dan!)

Jakob

[John W]

One training session I had jigeiko with my instructor. I went to cut kote and as I hit it my right foot got caught up in my hakama. (C'mon who has never caught thier foot in thier hakama before). Anyway, this caused the kensen to rise up from the kote an go right underneath the tsuki gaurd of my instrucotrs men. Well, as my momentum was still going forward I somehow managed to push my instructors men clean of his head- I did not fall over (lucky for me cause I was moving fast) but manged to turn and look at my instructor standing there in utter amazement that his men had come clean off!!! He saw the fuuny side of it though.:p

[don_lubo]

You all should be ashamed.....

[Aoi]

One crowded training... I did a hiki-kote on my opponent. A good cut, which stunned my opponent. so I was feeling great doing my zanshin backwards. At the same time, another pair behind us, with another person doing some hiki-waza. Yes, we had to be almost the same height, and moving at a good speed.
We both hit the back of our heads on each other (where the men doesn't cover)... useless for the rest of training.

Moral One of the story: Your enemy isn't necessarily infront of you.
Moral Two of the story: Winning the cut doesn't necessarily mean you've won the match.

In other words, never switch out

Another point, head butting is called "zu-tzuki" (head tsuki) ;)

[Paburo]

aoi-san>> i thought it would be called something like atama aiuchi or something.

as for a painful story:

i know someone in my dojo who is the balls hitokiri. instead of doing men-kaeshi-dou, he does men-kaeshi-balls...

in my school, this kind of 'low' and dishonourable technique is called tamago uchi. (strike to the 'eggs')

i took pics for further explanation.

http://kenwakai.org/doutamago.jpg

kids, don't do this at home.

[aru-ma]

Originally posted by Paburo
aoi-san>> i thought it would be called something like atama aiuchi or something.

as for a painful story:

i know someone in my dojo who is the balls hitokiri. instead of doing men-kaeshi-dou, he does men-kaeshi-balls...



men kaeshi balls?:D sounds funny when you say it. I've had a men-nuki-tamago once, didn't feel very nice, I guess that's what the tare's there for:)

[Tato]

:eek:

Being on the reciving end of a couple of them, I can tell you that yes, tare is more than a help.

Anyway, the impresion of reciving a misguided cut there is "a bit" cold, even if there's actually no harm done.

Rei

[aru-ma]

I just remebered something funny I saw in one of my competition last year, one of my sempai had his shinai sent flying up and caught it back on the kensen:D, they still counted it as a hansoku though. I wish I had that on tape.

[Antonin]

Well, it is a hansoku to hold the 'blade' part of the shinai during shiai, so I suppose he got it for that instead of for leting go of the shinai !
Antonin

[aru-ma]

nah, he got the hansoku for letting the shinai go but its still funny, it'd be funnier if he'd caught it by the handle and striking an ippon.

[anogaijin]

Here is my best (worst/ most embarassing) trick.

About 4 years ago I was in a little local tournament in an northern Japanese town called Senmaya.

I had just received my shodan and was competing for the first time in the yudansha division. My first (and last) aite of the day was a college sandan. Needless to say, I was over matched.

Out of the gate he took my men. Then from the second hajime he basically toyed with me for about thirty seconds. I launched myself in a desperate strike (don't remember what I was trying for). Unfortunately, in my excitement I lifted my right foot too high and it became tangled in my hakama.

I have a weak right ankle (old work injury) and my instinctive reaction was to save my ankle not protect myself from an attack. I basically went down on one knee and caught myself with my hands, face parallel to the floor.

As I fell, my opponent stepped to my left and brought his shinai down lightly (thank goodness) across the back of my neck. I was symbolically decapitated, and he was awarded the second point to win the match. Fortunately, I didn't re-injure my ankle, and my sensei was kind enough to stifle (well...mostly stifle) his laughter.

Talk about embarassing.

Oh well, live and learn.

[Raiza]

Oop, I've got another recent goofy event. More will likely follow.

I'd been practising for some time in my new dojo and the resident toughie was doing jikeiko with me with a couple others watching. He likes to intimidate, so whenever we met in issoku no itto no maai, he'd suri-otoshi. But he wouldn't follow through with a hit, he's just do it over and over again. So I figured I may as well try to do the best I can and not back away the next time he did this. So, keeping the centre as best I could I lunged forward for men, he twisted my shinai down and to the right and sent the kensen right through his tare and right where it counted. He didn't laugh but the others did. I guess that was my unintentional sKrote story.

He hasn't done that since. I wonder why? :rolleyes:

Lesson learned: Be judicious with suri-otoshi!

[kendokamax]

what is suri otoshi?

[Raiza]

Good question. Suri-otoshi is a twisting of the aitei's shinai in order to create an opening prior to making attacking. It's nearly the same motion as a suri-age, which is an oji-waza meant to capture the centre as your aitei is moving to strike. The difference is that suri-age is an upward twisting of the shinai out of the centre, which suri-otoshi is usually meant as a lateral twisting away from the centre. Oh yeah, and suri-age is a defensive waza while suri-otoshi is meant as an offensive waza.

Please feel free to correct me, but that's the best explanation I can come up with for now.

[chidokan]

one really crowded seminar I was at, I fenced some guy who tried hidari men just as the other two pairs either side of us went flying past... his shinai went flying up and caught me on the men as it came down, then shot off across the floor tripping at least five other people (who then got hit by their partners as they couldnt see what was happening)... now thats what I call taking the opposiition out!:D

Tim Hamilton

[JSchmidt]

"nah, he got the hansoku for letting the shinai go but its still funny"

I don't think you get a hansoku until the shinai hits the floor...if you catch it by the handle again, you wont get a hansoku.
You will, though, get a hansoku for grabbing any part of the 'blade' with your hand, be it your shinai or the opponents.

Jakob

[nollaig]

The most painfull thing that I got was a Do cut across the kneecaps!
My partner likes to drop slightly when going in for Do
he is 6'1 and I'm 5'9
while moving in for the Do
I was cutting Men
he slipped on a wet patch on the floor dropping fully onto his knee's
I was told afterwards I screamed like a girl!
And why I'm telling you all this I'll never know!

[KhawMengLee]

Heh, I had a sample of the tsuki balls experience last week. I was going for a one handed tsuki and my opponent was going for kote. As I went for tsuki my right hand naturally dropped back and her(yes) shinai missed the kote descending towards gedan level. As I hit tsuki, she hit balls...

Lucky my zanshin was really toned down or else I would have hit her shinai really hard...apparently we were standing like this //....

[Ben F.]

My wife and I used to train in Kumdo together and we were doing the equivalent of the Kendo no kata. I got slightly out of position and took a full, unhindered bokken blow to the left bicep. I had the most wonderful bruise you have ever seen. It turned colors never before seen in nature. As I recall, I shrieked like a banshee and then danced the "Ow! It really hurts" dance. Didn't help much to alleviate the pain, though.

[Chusan]

stupid kendo tricks? Well, here`s my penny...:
´The usual suspect` constantly kept trying to score with a very poor tsuki (the poorer they peform, the more often they try *sigh*). Sonn I got kind of tired with it and did the following -
just when receiving that so-called tsuki, I hardened my neck-muscles and made a strong and tough move forward, thus ´grippin` his shinai with my throat (yes, that works, believe me!) and blocking it completely, his tsuka hitting his urgh, his, well, you know, what I mean. Not stoppin advancing, I slowly opened my left hand and raised both arms slowly over my head, uniting them on my tsuka and clubbing downward without even the slightest attempt of tenouchi. I saw him panicking when he noticed that his shinai was fixed and that my shinai was moving downward towards his men not fast but with tremendous power.
There was a nice sound when my monouchi hit his men, a strange mixture of bamboo hitting leather and a voice making funny sounds. After he received consciusness again, his comrades told me he`d stopped trying tsuki ever again...
:D
Agreed, that wasn`t exactly a gentleman`s answer to the usual toughy, but sometimes one really needs such mean things... ;->

[KATSUJIN]

hahahaha....that was a good one!!!