I Hate My Life

[Jacynth]

The Last few years have been nothing but trouble. Heres the deal, I've just meet a friend who I enjoy hanging around with and well he happens to be Buddhist. Now he has another friend which I don’t like who happens to be Muslim. For the Sake of it I decided to put up with him and just enjoy hanging around. Once my parents heard of my friend they straight away asked to become much closer with the Muslim which I don’t like. I told them I don’t like him and I’m best friends with the other guy. They put their foot down and began forcing me to “Like” the Muslim. Then they started to accuse me that I was Buddhist because I hang about with the other guy. They started making up things like all the martial arts I was practicing were an excuse to practice my Buddhism.

And here comes the trouble. They’ve been treating me like crap for ages now. They accuse me of anything I do and don’t let me do anything related with Buddhism such as Meditation. They never talk to me, refuse anything I ask for, rip up everything In my room, Hit me like their smiting an enemy and then they look at my face and say something like “ It’s like we’ve been torturing him or something”. I can’t take that crap anymore, I feel like killing my self and I’m about to consider it. When I come home from school feeling depressed and come with bad marks they don’t even give a dam if I’m depressed or what’s going on. They just want me to be a nice perfect little Muslim boy that shows a good example for their kind.

If this is the wrong place to post this Kind of stuff then I apologize but I had to get it off my chest and hear other people’s views on my situation. Your comments will be much appreciated.

[Light Samurai]

My Dad's the same way. Be christian for effin die. Like that. My whole family. I'm a Omoto-sect buddhist, and some Rinzai stuff as well.
Peace and Love.

[Jacynth]

Yea, they think they are so peaceful and better than everybody else and then they force their children to follow...What kind of justice is that?

[Light Samurai]

Freedom of religion in America or any other countrie with a similar ammendment is going down the hole... Just because I talk to Wiccan's does not make me Wicca. The're assuming to much. It's not like you are doing those things. Not to much i can say to help is to tell them your not, and that this Buddhist guy is much nicer, and more religious, in a good way, then the muslim guy. Each religion has a set of similair moral codes.
Peace and Love.

[Jacynth]

Not to much i can say to help is to tell them your not, and that this Buddhist guy is much nicer, and more religious, in a good way, then the muslim guy. Each religion has a set of similair moral codes.
Peace and Love.

Yea, I've already tried that...I've already tried everything. They don't want to know, they don't even want to listen.
Dam I can't wait till I'm older and my old parents ask me for help, then I'll remind them what they done to me and leave them to live the rest of their miserable lives alone.

[Light Samurai]

My dad is sick. I 'd do the same thing, but deep down inside, the right Buddhist thing to do is help him, comfort him by reading out of *his* holy book, and give him support, even if I don't agree with his choices. If they dn't want to listen. I'm sure ther enot practicing good Muslim faith. I know nothing about Islam, but, there must be some kind of religious tolerance, but I may be wrong.
Peace/Shanti.

[Mibu-Ro[Okita]]

I feel your pain, I really do. I am from Utah, so that makes me a . . . you guessed it, a mormon. Now every faith has these kind of problems, and sometimes they do get really bad, even I have had a knife to my chest, but at the last second you realize this is probably the hardest part of life and it can only get better from here. I don't really understand, nor can I relate to the whole not being allowed to hang out with a friend from another religion, but I think that your parents are completely out of line in this area, that is like . . . what is that word, like racism, but for religion, well anyway. Have they ever met your friend? If not ask them if they would at least meet them? If that doesn't work then just, I don't know, if you are old enough, I think that it is time to move out. I am 18, which means since I am a mormon, I will be going on my mission soon, untill that time I must live by my parents rules because I still need them for support, but your parents aren't even giving you that. I can see how tight of a position you are in, and in closing I would just like to let you know that these are the hardest times of life and it will only get better, don't give in to depression, conquer it, find something meaningful in life and strive for perfection. I apologize for the "preaching" there. Good luck!

Okita

[Commander]

Hey, im really sorry to hear whats going on in your family.

Your parents should respect you wishes, they can give you guidance and advice but at the end of the day, its your life.

I hope you manage to sort things out with them

Sarah :)

[LNGUYEN]

You are in very tough time right now. Being growing up, experience new things, chosing your friend, school, don't get enough attention from parents, and many things else. Your Parents told you to do many things which you don't understand, accused you something which you don't do. I understand since I was your age before. The important things is you have to get pass this time and find out what is really important wating for you outthere. You have to be strong, then you will find things are easier. Life is wonderful and the reward for the brave and strong are wonderful too. If you can get pass this crisis, you will never success.

You like one friend over the other and can't chose who to hang out with? Believe me, this is not the end of the World. Thing is going more difficult than this.

Be brave and strong my friend.

[Andou]

Life is wonderful and the reward for the brave and strong are wonderful too. This is one of the most inspirational and yet true things I have ever read.

Jacynth, life will always be full of trouble and terrible ordeals. You cannot let something like this spur you to do something drastic. I cannot stress this enough. Being strong and getting through this will show much more character. You owe it to yourself to show your parents who is right in the end. I'm positive that all of us here sympathize with your struggle. Remember, we will all be here. You belong to a worldwide community and we will do what we can to help you. Things will sort out and it'll get better.

[Taisaburo]

I understand what your saying, but that is horrible excuse to commit suicide. Besides, you have my sincerist regards. I hope things get better for you.

[Hisham]

You might wana try to know why your parents are feeling that way, your 15 years old but you seem to be a smart teen, maybe there way of protecting you goes against your own identity search but don't overdramatise your situation to the point of acting on such stupid idea as killing yourself, have you tried explaining what meditation was about? IMHO they are hitting you because they don't know what to do and are afraid to lose you, you are the one that knows what's your parents background is if not try to learn about it, i again advise you to go according to it, not easy for a teenager i know, "3amiluhum billati hya a7san".

I don't know if you heard about this but in the days of Mohamed (pbuh) after a battle a muslim man was dying, his soul "hanging"(might be in a coma), the mustapha (chosen one in arabic) came to him and told the people to bring the mother who was pagan and in bad terms with her son from the day he became muslim , he asked her to forgive her deadly wounded child, and it was only when she did that the soul finally got out of his body, that tells you about importance of parents, especially mothers. You know that for muslims there's God ,the parents then the prophets and messengers.
However your parents maybe, be good to them.

I guess we all at some point in our teen years "hated" our parents with or without reason but just do good by them, some have liberal parents and some don't but in any case they are your parents, in a way when you're at home your dad and mom are your sensei, try not to go too much against there wish at least untill you get to fly with your own wings even then i hope that you'll do the right thing, everything has an end .You live in Lebanon a country which was a theater of a lot of real life drama not so long ago, and i think that the people there are very sensitive about religion because of that, maybe that's why they reacting like that.
i myself had some tough years as a teenager with my parents eventhough they are liberals in there way of thinking, got through it. Tell yourself that parenting isn't an easy task and that parents aren't perfect.
To tell you the truth to the "teenager me",what i wrote now would make me a sell out:D, but much will change when you start experiencing life by yourself, when that invisible parental shelter disapears *sigh
I guess i already said too much, be more diplomatic and don't push there "buttons" although it's gonna be hard for you with all those body changes (hormone explosions):jaguar:
Hope that you'll have less conflicts with your parents, one of the ways is to learn what they are about.
Aight gotta go hit the sack, got work tomorow morning.
Salam and good luck

[Frame]

life's a bitch, kill yourself or get over it.

[Infinity]

life's a bitch, kill yourself or get over it.

interesting advice...

i was raised a catholic and now i am anti-religion. it is not that i dont have any beliefs, values or moral standards, i do. i just dont feel the compulsion to share what i believe in with everyone and anyone i speak to. i also dont think i need any kind of religion to hold true to those values.

you are 15 and your parents wont listen to you for quite a while. get used to it.

dont kill yourself. its selfish and usually pointless in that it solves nothing.

do what you are told. develop your own values and beliefs until you are old enough to live your own life.
try and enjoy being a child. you havent got much time left.

[Masahiro]

hang in there kid. The worst is now, and if you don't stick around to find out how it's going to be better. You will regret it! hang in there. ..if you need someone to e-mail to. Hit me up, i have my e-mail in my profile! As long as you hold a shinai in your hand, you are a friend of mine! don't give up!

[Berugijin]

life's a bitch, kill yourself or get over it.

Life's a bitch, be her pimp.

[crabbi]

You are in very tough time right now. Being growing up, experience new things, chosing your friend, school, don't get enough attention from parents, and many things else. Your Parents told you to do many things which you don't understand, accused you something which you don't do. I understand since I was your age before. The important things is you have to get pass this time and find out what is really important wating for you outthere. You have to be strong, then you will find things are easier. Life is wonderful and the reward for the brave and strong are wonderful too. If you can get pass this crisis, you will never success.

You like one friend over the other and can't chose who to hang out with? Believe me, this is not the end of the World. Thing is going more difficult than this.

Be brave and strong my friend.

Best advice on this thread so far!

You are at a transition point friend... your mind has developed into a yound adult and your physical presence is not yet accepted as adult by society...

This is probably the most turbulent time of your life... emotions run riot... ideas fight for attention in your mind... your parents are aware of this and don't know how to handle it (their parents didn't either by the way!)...

You will get through it... you have shown yourself to be a bright and sensitive individual... you will look back at all of this as a formative experience...

Stick with it... Ask yourself... What is it that my parents want?

If they object to meditation, tell them that you are in silent prayer... Assure them that you are a Muslim in your heart... explain that you are interested in the ways that others think as it gives you an interesting perspective on your own faith...

Don't give in to depression mate... talk to us...

Cheers

[Richmond-san]

The above is also good advice. I am not trying to belittle your problems, but one thing that has always helped me through the tough times was thinking of all the people who truley had it worse than I did. Also, I think it's a requirement to unjustly struggle for a part of your life, ideally it makes you strong in the end. Good luck, we're with you.

[KhawMengLee]

The Last few years have been nothing but trouble. Heres the deal, I've just meet a friend who I enjoy hanging around with and well he happens to be Buddhist. Now he has another friend which I don’t like who happens to be Muslim. For the Sake of it I decided to put up with him and just enjoy hanging around. Once my parents heard of my friend they straight away asked to become much closer with the Muslim which I don’t like. I told them I don’t like him and I’m best friends with the other guy. They put their foot down and began forcing me to “Like” the Muslim. Then they started to accuse me that I was Buddhist because I hang about with the other guy. They started making up things like all the martial arts I was practicing were an excuse to practice my Buddhism.

And here comes the trouble. They’ve been treating me like crap for ages now. They accuse me of anything I do and don’t let me do anything related with Buddhism such as Meditation. They never talk to me, refuse anything I ask for, rip up everything In my room, Hit me like their smiting an enemy and then they look at my face and say something like “ It’s like we’ve been torturing him or something”. I can’t take that crap anymore, I feel like killing my self and I’m about to consider it. When I come home from school feeling depressed and come with bad marks they don’t even give a dam if I’m depressed or what’s going on. They just want me to be a nice perfect little Muslim boy that shows a good example for their kind.

If this is the wrong place to post this Kind of stuff then I apologize but I had to get it off my chest and hear other people’s views on my situation. Your comments will be much appreciated.



A family friend once said, "The Koran is not wrong but that doesn't mean the man interpereting it isn't."


I am a Buddhist and I live in a Muslim country that is multicultural so that our cultures are in harmony. Whether we are muslim, hindu, christian, buddhist etc we respect each and everyone's culture. Personally, I think that how you wan't to practice your religion is up to you...its between you and God.

Don't take this bad moment in your life to think that Islam is wrong...the people enforcing it may have forgotten the true teachings of this and all other religions but don't hate God.

I don't know your parents so I have no right to judge them but my advise is to endure. The muslim friend you speak of...hang with him...nothing wrong with that. And at the same time you can still mix with your other friend...after all you are in the same group. In life we have many aquaintences but very few "friends".

Talk to your parents...tell them just because your friend is Buddhist doesn't mean you will forget your own culture or religion. We can learn many things from each other...The roots of Chivalry from Christian Knights came from them observing the honorable conduct of their muslim counterparts, like Saladin, during the crusades. If we think Islam has nothing to give then mathematics, Astrology etc would be absent from Europe.

You can be proud of your heritage and culture but you can also admire the good in other culture too.

Life...is not always easy...but every day we live, every moment of suffering we overcome will make us stronger for the next day.

[CezarJ]

I know how it feels to have ignorant parents. The part I hate most is that you can't discuss things in a common sense to them. Their way or the highway as the english people say.

I feel with you, and my only advice is a very tough one:

Have patience. And please, dont hate them when you are grown up. They are your parents, and you should love them(not in their way but in your own), no matter what. It's not their fault that they have been born with an ignorant mind(like many other people these days).

PS: Excuse my bad english.

[Eiliries]

Life's a bitch, be her pimp.

OMFG! That's brilliant!

[kendo-boi]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berugijin
Life's a bitch, be her pimp.



OMFG! That's brilliant!

Holy crap! I agree with that too!!! ~(-_~)!

[Anjin-san]

Heard that same line on another forum...

[Berugijin]

Heard that same line on another forum...

What? Like I could come up with something as witty as that quote...:rolleyes:

[LarsCW]

You should respect your parents nomatter what. They put you on this earth and you are who you are because of them.
They are just concerned about you and are doing this out of love.

That they can say things out of ignorance oke then it's your part now to teach. You are at a point in life that you will start developing more and more but never hate them.

[Berugijin]

You should respect your parents nomatter what. They put you on this earth and you are who you are because of them.
They are just concerned about you and are doing this out of love.

That they can say things out of ignorance oke then it's your part now to teach. You are at a point in life that you will start developing more and more but never hate them.

I disagree. They have to earn your respect. They deserve respect simply for giving birth to you? You are who you are because you live your own life. His life is pretty miserable right now because of his parents. Why must he respect them...?

Too many people consider a parent-child relationship as a one-way respect relationship, I strongly disagree. But what do I know, I have no little anklebiters of my own.

[Ninjujinkaku]

If your parents dont like buddism dont tell them about it. Just lie to them about everything from now on so they can live in thier fantasy world, or tell them to f*ck off, the latter doesnt work as well in most cases.

[Frame]

Touché berugijin. Remember your parents are human too and no doubt have to learn to be them. Reading the first post in a sober state(unlike last time) do not get depressed for having a more open mind.

Heh. on my original post, sorry, it's just a little too cliché to hear a 15 year old say "I hate my life". Dude if you're stressed/ in a bad mood go do some kendo, if your parents are willing to let you do kendo then i assume they can also learn to be open minded on your friends.

[kanyil]

Relax man.

You have your whole life in front of you. You will have many new friends, and lose many old friends. You are only friends with someone if you like them, and vice-versa. You can always make new ones (or be traded in for a different model).

Life goes on as long as you are willing to go on. At the end of the day, you are the only one who is responsible for your actions and choices, no one else.

Life's a bitch, be her pimp.
That's...simply...brilliant...

[gsx1100s]

Sounds like everyones parents at age 15 .

I was brought up a Catholic and had the same deal as you.. In many ways religion has nothing to do with it. Your Mum and Dad are worried about what you are enjoying because they don't understand it. they have their moral/value systems and they feel those beliefs are best for you , thus the trying to get you with the Muslim boy.In other words it'll get better , but throwing in the towel spiritually or physically leads to nothing. Concentrate on the good things allow the bad to be understood so as to see it as it is ( a lack of knowledge) and have a bloody good time with your life.:)

P.S. your Mum and Dad love you thats why they are so worried. Funny way to show it but thats why they're your Mum and Dad

cheers michael

[Jacynth]

Hey everybody,

I'd like to thank all of you for replying and comforting me. Problem is I've been trying everything you guys have been telling me to do, nothing has worked. Having this problem is bad enough but not being able to talk to someone about it is twice as bad. I can't even go outside to see someone and talk about my problems, I'm getting really lonely and there is nothing I can do about it.

I know I can talk to you guys online but I'm afraid your help is only limited to advice, while talking to a person in flesh would have more impact. Sometimes i just think I'm going crazy. I just wish I hade a guide or guidance to help me through..

[Neil Gendzwill]

Jacynth, do they have a kid's help phone set up in your country? Here in Canada kids can use a toll-free number to get anonymous councelling on the sorts of things that are troubling you. Failing that, is there a counceller at school or just a friend you can talk to? Or perhaps a doctor you can talk to in confidence to ensure that you are not also dealing with a depression that is chemical in nature?

I don't think it's very productive to just say "lots of 15 year olds go through this" and pass it off as nothing. Some of the 15 year olds do kill themselves over stuff like this and it is a tragedy. I hope you can get the help you need because it would be a shame to lose such a bright, sensitive person.

[Kaarel]

yeah thats right the worst is now. think of it that you will pay them back someday. but what i do is that if im only fed up from city life or my parents or anything i go ride my bike into a forest and to a hill ( i have my favourite place) and take a bokken and do a little movements with me so i just hang around there all by myself and i enjoy it. i think about life, school, how dumb my parents are and so on. and the most beautiful is when the sun is going down i cant stand it how beautiful it is . once i even stayed there for 2 days nothing isnt better than just to think. but DONT kill yourself you can have a beautiful life someday just hang in there.

If your parents are hitting you then you should go to a childrens protection organitation or something.

[Jacynth]

That's the thing guys. I don't want to be alone anymore, I've been alone my whole life and I'm fed up with it. I know I made sound a tad selfish but I want more than that. I don't understand it. I'm a nice person and I do my best to uphold good so how did I end up alone.

I did have a counsallar in my old school but I got expelled and i've lost contact with her.

[Light Samurai]

That's the thing guys. I don't want to be alone anymore, I've been alone my whole life and I'm fed up with it. I know I made sound a tad selfish but I want more than that. I don't understand it. I'm a nice person and I do my best to uphold good so how did I end up alone.

I did have a counsallar in my old school but I got expelled and i've lost contact with her.
I'm in the same boat. Persevere, and when 16, show them that YOU were right by being a better person then them.
Peace.

[Anjin-san]

Having muslim parents nowadays is a pain in the ass on many levels, I'll give you that. I had a friend when I was in KSA who was in a similar situation, in that his faith was in question by his parents. His dad would beat the living crap out of him with whatever he could find on a weekly basis over it.

How he got through it was by basically pretending to be a devout muslim until he got sent away to boarding school overseas. He'd pray 5 times a day, know MORE sura's than his dad, and could spin quotes from the qur'an into meaning anything.

His dad didn't stop hitting him however until one day he stopped him just before a beating and said to him: 'You can hit me all you want, but every time you do I lose a bit more respect for you, and gain a bit more hatred (in arabic)'. Unfortunately that didn't stop him that time, but he never laid a finger on him after that.

He told me about this over a beer a few months ago, he's pretty much agnostic now (and good for him).

The fact of the matter is, you're your parents bitch until you're viable on your own two feet. I know that from personal experience, and beleive me they'll see the difference and start respecting your decisions once it gets closer to that time. For now however do what you have to, the easiest way would be to comply your parents wishes, or at least that would be a good place to start.

[crabbi]

That's the thing guys. I don't want to be alone anymore, I've been alone my whole life and I'm fed up with it. I know I made sound a tad selfish but I want more than that. I don't understand it. I'm a nice person and I do my best to uphold good so how did I end up alone.

I did have a counsallar in my old school but I got expelled and i've lost contact with her.
You have said a lot about what your parents think and how they act... but how do you feel in your heart?

Are you a true Muslim or are you unsure?

Either way - Is there not a religious leader at your Mosque that you could talk to for guidance? I am sure that you would not be the first young Muslim to come to him seeking such guidance.... that's what religious leaders choose to do for a living...

[Anjin-san]

What? Like I could come up with something as witty as that quote...:rolleyes:

I'm not questioning your originality, just thought you might frequent that other forum is all...

[Surushiko]

I feel for you, ive seen what they can be like to you, im only ten minutes on the bus away if you need someone to talk to

[Sepiraph]

life's a bitch, kill yourself or get over it.

Some wise words there.