McDojo's

[Denker]

Hi,

I'm going to be putting a spoof-type movie together, and it's going to be centered around two McDojo's. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to share some commonly known, *cough,* deficiencies that McDojo's have. Ridiculous waza, black belt in seven days... etc.

Thank you very much,

Matt

[Richmond-san]

I have a good one, from a little McDojo called Budo Ryu: Classical school of kenjutsu. There are no actual sparring bouts, everything and I mean everything is coreographed form kill bill, the last samurai or any on of those Toshiro Mifune samurai flicks... It's really sad. Plus they said the specialized in the yagu instead of Yagyu school and for that error I will not forgive.

[Light Samurai]

The other school can be made up of wanna-be ninjas, where they attempt to lift trees, and the tree falls on them, and they die :D Something like that :p

[LarsCW]

A mate of me who lives in Cali got his 10 year old daughter on jiu jiutsu classes at a (what I think prolly is a) McDojo.

He bought an iaito earlier this year because he loved the way it looked and had an accident with it when he wanted to show it and it wasn't place properly in the saya it slid out and he cut his finger resulting in 8 stitches and he still haven't got all senses back in that finger. Due to this he didn't put his daughter on the weapons training of the school where these 10 year olds are swinging bokken.

I have been trying for 6 months now to get him to a proper dojo but he's stubborn and keeps putting it infront.
Eventhou he doesn't goto a dojo he isn't training with it either but has it as ornament currently but a bit late.

[Kaoru]

A mate of me who lives in Cali got his 10 year old daughter on jiu jiutsu classes at a (what I think prolly is a) McDojo.

He bought an iaito earlier this year because he loved the way it looked and had an accident with it when he wanted to show it and it wasn't place properly in the saya it slid out and he cut his finger resulting in 8 stitches and he still haven't got all senses back in that finger. Due to this he didn't put his daughter on the weapons training of the school where these 10 year olds are swinging bokken.

I have been trying for 6 months now to get him to a proper dojo but he's stubborn and keeps putting it infront.
Eventhou he doesn't goto a dojo he isn't training with it either but has it as ornament currently but a bit late.

Hey LarsCW-san,

Feel free to dig through my posts. Just look in my profile and click on posts by Kaoru, and find the ones where I explain why a person should attend a real proper dojo. Maybe if he sees some of my posts on why, he'll get it. I HATE it when people get hurt because they goofed off thinking they can play with swords unsupervised with no training. So, feel free to waggle some of my posts in his face. Tell him I want him to read them. Or better yet, do you want me to write one up 'specially for him? I will. Just tell me, and I'll see if I can convince him for you. Seriously! I am really sorry he got hurt.

Kaoru

[Ninjujinkaku]

Kaoru why would his friend care about your posts if his friend obviously doesnt take iaido seriously and practices byhimself?

[LarsCW]

Hey LarsCW-san,

Feel free to dig through my posts. Just look in my profile and click on posts by Kaoru, and find the ones where I explain why a person should attend a real proper dojo. Maybe if he sees some of my posts on why, he'll get it. I HATE it when people get hurt because they goofed off thinking they can play with swords unsupervised with no training. So, feel free to waggle some of my posts in his face. Tell him I want him to read them. Or better yet, do you want me to write one up 'specially for him? I will. Just tell me, and I'll see if I can convince him for you. Seriously! I am really sorry he got hurt.

Kaoru

Thank you Kaoru-san,

I promised him that I will make sure he will get class at a propper dojo when he is ready to get class. He has never been swinging the sword, it was just him not putting the sword back properly into the saya. He really got his punnishment physically and mentally. I have been making jokes at him about his stuppid action. I would like your help when the time comes to get him to an iaido dojo then i'll give him a nice bokken for his Bday:=)

[LarsCW]

Kaoru why would his friend care about your posts if his friend obviously doesnt take iaido seriously and practices byhimself?

He doesn't practise by himself. He bought the sword and told me he wanted to learn to use it. He made sure he knew how to clean it and accidently didn't put it back correctly in the saya and then when he wanted to show it it slid out

[Anime12478]

There was one Tae Kwon Do place that I was went to just to observe so my friend could inquire about classes. For one thing, quite a few of the belts were tied wrong and their technique was just very innefective...and this is coming from the advanced students.

This is the killer! I don't remember exactly what he asked, but he asked the students a question along the lines, "How do you punch?" The reply was, "I will show you SIR!" while they were punching. It's one of those things that I could only do it best if I could show you myself, but this is the best that I could do for now.

[Denker]

The other school can be made up of wanna-be ninjas, where they attempt to lift trees, and the tree falls on them, and they die :D Something like that :p

Uh... This is a low, I should say nonexistent, budget movie. Having lightsabers cost me an arm in a leg, so let's be kind :P

Wow, I actually had the idea to tie my Gi and Hakama completely stupidly . . . but I'm not sure I want to do that to my Gi. Now that I've learned how to correctly pronounce kouryu, I'll make sure that in the dialog, the McDojo trainees massacre the words.

Why are you hijacking my thread Kaoru? :pirate: Just kidding, but seriously, I'm sure YOU have some good stories or facts about McDojo's that I could rip off-- make use of!

- Matt

[Richmond-san]

okay, just about an hour ago, I was leaving my last class and someone I knew came up to me and asked if I was going to the Star Wars premier, I said yah. I turned around and asked the same question, his reply was also yes but he was going to the theater in the city about 15min. from here. (his reasons were why this story is applicable to this thread.) He said he was bringing his lightsaber(toy) so he could personally show his might andkick the ass of everyone else there, how could he do this I asked? His reply goes as follows: He holds a brown belt in kendo and iaijutsu, as well as a black belt in tai chi, and karate. I asked him the name of his dojo(as anyone would) and all he could say was it was a small dojo in the midwest (that teaches all of these from one sensei)... And the sensei was the best part... he is only 35 but holds a 7 dan soke (his words) in both kendo and iaijutsu, has a 9th degree black belt in karate as well as being a master of Tai Chi... And this kids favorite story to tell about his martial arts experience is when they where trained in tai chi to only target the throat and the crotch...

It sounds made up I know... Like there is no way these words could have actually been honestly spoken by a real person save Gatsu-san...

But I swear on my word of honor and all I consider holy it is the truth... and it scares me.

[Denker]

You sir, have made my night. And here I thought that I'll be able to choreograph the best lightsaber scene ever since I'm a beginner in Kendo. I am Beginner Musashi! Able to master Kendo in a single class! Hiiiiiyaaaa! Obviously that kid has miles on me.

He holds a brown belt in kendo you say? Drat, I've only worked my way up to Indigo :(

[Richmond-san]

I just couldn't resist telling you guys and gals... (darkside burgeoning)... I hate him.

[IZA]

Hey LarsCW-san,

Feel free to dig through my posts. Just look in my profile and click on posts by Kaoru, and find the ones where I explain why a person should attend a real proper dojo. Maybe if he sees some of my posts on why, he'll get it. I HATE it when people get hurt because they goofed off thinking they can play with swords unsupervised with no training. So, feel free to waggle some of my posts in his face. Tell him I want him to read them. Or better yet, do you want me to write one up 'specially for him? I will. Just tell me, and I'll see if I can convince him for you. Seriously! I am really sorry he got hurt.

Kaoru

Its really very a sad sight to see people presuming to know kendo or kenjutsu, running around with bokken doing bokken sparring. sometimes its very an amusing sight to see (forgive me kaoru-san , i know you dont like it), some poeple just to blind to see that last samurai and doin kendo or kenjutsu are not the same deal. Well i hope some of these people will find thier way, one day they might meet and learn things from a qualified teacher- that would be very good for them and i will be most happy for them. the sad thing is if one persist bokken sparring is actually beneficial. most terrible when some of these guys combine tag game and kenjutsu with 8 or 9 year old players.

To some extent when something happens, then people tend to generalise that all practitioner ar doing that...so difficult to explain since its most of the populace doesnt understand the art. But thats the way life is - Cant really live without them. i think, in this world-there are always people like that.

Denker-san are you planning a kung pow like movie, ill be waiting for that- promise.

[senki-kendo-jos]

Dear god!! I remember hearing about a dojo in the UK from a sensei of mine where the pupils had to do hours of press ups etc (and bear in mind that this is kendo, not karate) before putting their hakama on back to front, along with their coloured belt sticking out of the side and doing a very strange approxomation of suburi with their legs wide open in what looked like the French-Lavatory-Squat (if anyone has seen Red Dwarf's Smeg Up's they'll know what I mean!). They then put on bogu in the most imaginative way sensei had ever seen and were put through hell by the "sempai" (and I use that term loosely here boys!). The weirdest bit was that they always hit the floor with their shinai before cutting!! During jigeiko they seemed to aim everywhere but the targets and when they tsukii'd sensei in the shoulder he whipped the guy. The "sempai" gave him a hard time so he courteously wiped the dojo floor with the "sempai's" ass. The "grand master" as they called him had a verbal go at sensei, but wouldn't fence as, apparently, the "mortal injury" he had picked up while learning eight styles of sword combat from a hermit monk in Japan was playing up!! CLASSIC!!

(btw, if anyone remembers this story better than I can feel free to change it... I've only heard it about 8th hand!!)

[Wout]

I have an Idea, most of these McDojo's have acronims for certain things like Storm-squad ,SPEAR, etc maybe you could implement things like :

Special High Intensity Training
Or maybe a kata where two people stand against eachother like two dragonball Z characters and call it Chi On Chi Kata

OR Blackbelt Unly Levitating Lesson (OK I know stretched it a bit, but since mostof em can't spell)


BTW try bullshido.com there are some beauties if you can find them

[men's intruder]

i would like to have a look on that mcdojo's web

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I'M BORED

[Theodore]

all he could say was it was a small dojo in the midwest (that teaches all of these from one sensei)... And the sensei was the best part... he is only 35 but holds a 7 dan soke (his words) in both kendo and iaijutsu, has a 9th degree black belt in karate as well as being a master of Tai Chi... And this kids favorite story to tell about his martial arts experience is when they where trained in tai chi to only target the throat and the crotch...

I know that style, it's XTREME bu-sh*t-do. :)

[Kaoru]

Why are you hijacking my thread Kaoru? :pirate: Just kidding, but seriously, I'm sure YOU have some good stories or facts about McDojo's that I could rip off-- make use of!

- Matt

hehehehe!! Sorry about that. :D

Yeah, I do. I can give you sites of some pretty funny "soke" that think they are all that, but clearly aren't. Do you want them? They are funny sites, unfortunately. I can also make you a list of things they do that make them non-legit when I have a bit more time. I also have stories from my own personal experience in a McDojo "Kumdo" school that turned out not to be real Kumdo that I attended for about 5 months before I began Kendo, Would it be rude to tell how they taught us, and things that actually happened? Like dangerous drills we did? Bad waza and Footwork? Hmmmm.... Is it ok say anything since I used to go there? :ermm:

Oh, do a search here for Rick Tew of "Tew Ryu." *gag* Funny stuff! His "sword" videos are just the funniest! :D

Kaoru

[Light Samurai]

After reding a few stories here, this thread just sickens me. I don;'t see the point of making a movie out if it. So sad.. :(
Peace.

[Denker]

After reding a few stories here, this thread just sickens me. I don;'t see the point of making a movie out if it. So sad.. :(
Peace.

The first step to ending a problem is bringing awareness to the common people. The best way to bring awareness to the common people is through humor. The best way to create humor is to draw upon real life instances of stupidity. The best way to get real life instances of stupidity is to look to a McDojo. The best way to solve the McDojo problem is... yeah.

Heheh, I think I got all the material that I'll need to make this crack-pot movie. Thanks for the help!

- Matt

[IZA]

The first step to ending a problem is bringing awareness to the common people. The best way to bring awareness to the common people is through humor. The best way to create humor is to draw upon real life instances of stupidity. The best way to get real life instances of stupidity is to look to a McDojo. The best way to solve the McDojo problem is... yeah.

Heheh, I think I got all the material that I'll need to make this crack-pot movie. Thanks for the help!

- Matt

Good point :-)

but movies are also offen badly misinterpreted. But its a good way of educating People, and i do hope they listen...so we just try our best and expect none otherwise it would be disappointing. effort is also important.

okay Denker i will tell you a really funny story, it happened about 6 years ago

One day i met this guy who claimed to practice japanese sword art, then i ask him where did he learn the art

he said from a master i met in the uncharted region of our town. i can hardly contained myself he he he. i was thinking from another dimension. I ask him what is his name? He said- our my master cant understand because he only speak japanese. you trained for almost a year and you didnt know the name of your teacher? So how did you learn? just imitate he said
Then he proceeded saying that his master sword technique is jumping 20 ft above and dive for an attack. at this point i was really thinking that this guy has too much drug or something. So i said to him wow i want to learn and maybe i could join pro basketball. then he said - attack me with any combo (at this point this poor guy must be an addict to computer games samurai showdown , last blade). then he said one of his favorite technique is to throw the kodachi towards the adversary, run after it..catching it in mid air and stab and opponent. I didnt want a demostration from him since this time he aid wait for me ill get my real sword. i said no no no i must go my family is waiting for me. then he said please wait for a moment " oh dear, really scary"
i dont know that this guy will do. then he arrived with his sword -sort of, he said only a true master can resheath the sword without looking at it, then i said okay good bye, i must go. since then i never saw the guy again.

really strange.