How to ask her out?

[Charuzu]

Hello, I'm here to ask you guys a important question. Their is one girl that I like. She Has all the same intrests as be. For example, she loves anime, has a intrest in japanese swordsmanship, ect, ect. In addition, she likes wearing Kimono.... kawaii~~

However, I know that that alone really isn't going to help me. I've asked out others with the same intrest and always got the same answer 'not in a 1,000,000 years' or 'Let's just be friends, K?'. I am also worried becuse one of the things that she prides herself in is card readings in which I will soposidly get pregnant!? I made fun of that reading a bit too much and she wasn't amused.

I also really suck while talking to girls.... man I feel like that guy in 'train-man' just insted of 2ch It is Kendo-world (and mabie 4-ch).
　 　 　/-----\
('A`) <　Why? |　 　 　
( ﾍﾍ \_____/

Any sugestions or tips??? Please, I don't know how to go ahead with this. =o=

PS - I am also not very good looking at all as you can see in my pic Here (http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6497/602/320/KEY70001.jpg)

[TKO]

hum.... try http://www.pick-up-woman.com/ask-girl-out-on-date.shtml

[Paikea]

hum.... try http://www.pick-up-woman.com/ask-girl-out-on-date.shtml...and get this from the net-nazi:

Access to this site is restricted
Reason: Pornography

Nice!

[piggy]

welcome to the world of men. its just the way things are. the link to your pic isnt working but its not about looks on the bottom line.

what i can offer is that maybe you shouldnt ask her out right away. give it some time and (secretly) try to get closer to her. get to know her even more. be smooth. on top of everything else, dont do anything stupid. if you do, recover right away.

and yes i do have a girlfriend. im not just some geek on a computer.

well anyway. good luck. hope it works out. and if all else fails, take her out for a date. not somewhere cliche'. but to a place romantic.

[Musashi898]

I had the same problem, i was rubbish wiv askin girls out etc but i was lucky and im goin out wiv her now, she likes Japanese Culture, wearinn kimono's (hurah my prayer hav been answered!). My best advice is be confident, i was lucky my best friend helped me out on what to say etc lol. Just for the record i am a computer geek and hav a gf lol, even though my gf really really hates computers.

[Commander]

Just be yourself and talk to her. And yeah the Commander is infact a girl, its took a long time for people on this forum to actually figure that out lol :p

[TKO]

...and get this from the net-nazi:

Access to this site is restricted
Reason: Pornography

Nice!


heheh really? just just did a search on Google "how to ask a girl out" and just cut/paste whatever come up first.

[kuzu70]

Just ask her out. If she says no, ask another one. Eventually one will say yes.

[Paikea]

heheh really? just just did a search on Google "how to ask a girl out" and just cut/paste whatever come up first.It's our firewall...now I get to explain what I was doing - for probably the third time this month. :)

Back to work...

[piggy]

and then you'll have the pleasure of a disease.

[Commander]

Seriously, just ask her out and if she doesn't then its not your problem. Dont worry girls are only human :)

[TKO]

Just ask her out. If she says no, ask another one. Eventually one will say yes.

Great idea! Same in Kendo, If you hit enough "men", eventurally one will HIT! :)

[Mugu]

Put on your bogu and make sure you have a shinai, if she hasn't seen you wearning that, that's a good conversation starter. It'll work better if you haven't told her that you're doing Kendo. You'd be surprised how Kendo can actually strikes up conversations. Hey at least I'm trying to connect this topic to Kendo as much as possible :D

Don't you kids at school like passing notes around or something? Try that, too lol

Seriously, what other better excuse to ask someone you like out and they THINK we are just friends, just say, "Hey, I found a kewl and yummy resturant around! You wanna go?" No pressure there. But DON'T add, "just as friends". And substitue the yummy resturant with something else. heheh Good luck! :D

[Musashi898]

Another idea i Bribe them :-)

[The great I AM]

Heres an idea, how about taking her somewhere instead of being sat at your computer......?

[Charuzu]

Actualy It seem OK (The site)

But apparently one of the most important things is to have confinense in yourself... for me thats a bit of a problem.
Any advice on how to seem confident??

Also another problem. Her close friend is my sister. That can be both good and very bad.

[kiera1990]

hahahaha!!! i never knew boys wud ask questions like that! ^_^ (im not being negative here)...

well...I'm a girl and I think i know why she acts like that... you see, girls always want to be persuaded. the more you try to get her, the lesser your chance. (this doesn't apply to everybody) so If i were you, i'd treat her like a
girl-next-door and don't get too 'grabby'... patience always help you get away with everything. and in the same time...be nice, cheerfull, and never lose you temper when she's rround (you can hit someone when she's gone)...smile sweetly but not brightly (she might think you're desperate)... never show anything that you feel inside!!! she'll think she's the boss and that you're a wimppie

[KenShi_JoB]

Hello, I'm here to ask you guys a important question. Their is one girl that I like. She Has all the same intrests as be. For example, she loves anime, has a intrest in japanese swordsmanship, ect, ect. In addition, she likes wearing Kimono.... kawaii~~

However, I know that that alone really isn't going to help me. I've asked out others with the same intrest and always got the same answer 'not in a 1,000,000 years' or 'Let's just be friends, K?'. I am also worried becuse one of the things that she prides herself in is card readings in which I will soposidly get pregnant!? I made fun of that reading a bit too much and she wasn't amused.

I also really suck while talking to girls.... man I feel like that guy in 'train-man' just insted of 2ch It is Kendo-world (and mabie 4-ch).
　 　 　/-----\
('A`) <　Why? |　 　 　
( ﾍﾍ \_____/

Any sugestions or tips??? Please, I don't know how to go ahead with this. =o=

PS - I am also not very good looking at all as you can see in my pic Here (http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6497/602/320/KEY70001.jpg)

Just be yourselves, and accept it gentlemanly if the result is not successful. We can't force anyone heart, she may like you or not it's up to her. No ultimate method on how to win anyone heart.

[Charuzu]

i'd treat her like a girl-next-door

What do you mean by that??

Don't get too 'grabby'
I don't get what you are talking about??


... patience always help you get away with everything.
and in the same time...be nice, cheerfull, and never lose you temper when she's rround (you can hit someone when she's gone)...smile sweetly but not brightly
I got that down at least!

never show anything that you feel inside!!!
That'll be a bit hard. However, I kinda went on once about how I missed Patreece (My former Girlfriend who dumped me becuse of this short evil girl... long story)

[Barnakey]

Hai Hai where are you

[kiera1990]

I meant... dont show her that you like her toooooooo much! she might think you're that desperate... I'm sorry if that't confusing... i guess girls DO confuse you guys a lot huh?

[Charuzu]

I meant... dont show her that you like her toooooooo much! she might think you're that desperate... I'm sorry if that't confusing... i guess girls DO confuse you guys a lot huh?

Does that mean no snuggling for awhile?? =o=
And if so How long would I wait? (or am I just getting ahead of myself?)

PS - Some parts of you web-site are down but DAMM it looks good ^o^

Also, where did you find non-hentai doujinshi? I've been looking EVERWHERE for clean Doujinshi

[LNGUYEN]

Make her feel comfortable to be with you. Friendship is the first step.
Make her feel happy when with you, humorous is the key. Don't try to show your wolf side and you will be OK
Ask her out to have fun, not a date.

After you get her comfortable to be with you, everything will be a OK

[eirenaios]

it's true what kiera1990 says. for most girls then...
play a little hard to get so she wants you! although this does cost more time...

or do it the simple way and just ask her. then you'll know immediately...

[Hank]

Her close friend is my sister. That can be both good and very bad.Actually, I can't see any good in that statement. But, hey, there are like 3 billion women on the planet, no?

Hank.

[Charuzu]

Actually, I can't see any good in that statement. But, hey, there are like 3 billion women on the planet, no?

Hank.

My sister is intresting for 2 reasons

1.)She can tell me what she thinks of me or talk lies about me

2.)The 1st girl to like me... I didn't have good timing so long story short she is now dating my sister. =o=

[kiera1990]

yep! see? they're saying the same thing... dont get tooo close, not yet!

Thanks for visiting my site! I know some aren't working yet, I've got to finish my school works (but year10's over at last. meaning, i can update the site now...It's summer holiday by the way)

the doujinshis by the way, is 'non-hentai'... there are sites that offer non-hentai doujin.

I forgot where i found one before...but there is... I'll put a link from my site if i remember, ok?

back..to the topic.....

does your sister know you like her friend? she might help yah...

[Charuzu]

yep! see? they're saying the same thing... dont get tooo close, not yet!

Thanks for visiting my site! I know some aren't working yet, I've got to finish my school works (but year10's over at last. meaning, i can update the site now...It's summer holiday by the way)

the doujinshis by the way, is 'non-hentai'... there are sites that offer non-hentai doujin.

I forgot where i found one before...but there is... I'll put a link from my site if i remember, ok?

back..to the topic.....

does your sister know you like her friend? she might help yah...

Yes she does. Thats how I know her oppion on me. And she is helping but I am very afraid that when she get mad at me she will say something bad =o=

[Musashi898]

seriously you think the work is over lol, yr 11 is a nightmare!! Exams Exams Exams really dull and more revising, trust me you will get sick of visiting the BBC Bitesize website you will want to murder ever last BBC Member that had any imput into creatin the webpage, as the revision is rubbish on it. Alas im startin college in September two more years then Leeds Uni for Joint Honors in Japanese Culture and Language (thats is if i get the grades).

[Mugu]

I got some more ideas...

mmm I think you should focus on a sentence on the very last paragraph on "How to pick up a woman", MAKE SURE SHE IS ALSO ATTRACTED TO YOU!!!

Let me tell you my "got hit on" stories and try to learn something from them. I was at school working on my projects in one of the computer labs. This guy who sat next to me suddenly hit me with some sort of snacks, and said, "Hi! My name is Jeff!". I said, "Ok, now Jeff. Stop hitting me." mm hmph, I think he was too confident of himself and I wanted to smack the hell outta him. Never try this one.

Now at a theater, I was chatting with my friend waiting for the movie to start outside the showroom. This guy circled a few times and then nervously walked up to us and said, "Hi! How are you doing?" We both said, "Fine thanks!", rolled our eyes and kept on talking and he walked away. I gave him the credit at least braved enough to come up to say hi.

Now some success stories who became my boyfriends... They just asked me out and I said yes, lol It is really you whether the other person attracted to you or not :D And we were friends already, so almost everything relationships start with friends. And since you two know each other... if she likes talking to you a lot, I think you have a really good chance of "yes". Just add a little more confident and you're set to go ;)

[kiera1990]

oh...then you better be friendly with your sister, my sis and i argue sometimes but she wont shout at me when im holding a shinai (although im not trained to use it).

quote:
even a n idiot can swing a shinai

anyway, that might not solve your problems. believe me, girls really are ANNOYING sometimes... (look who's talking) oh well... it's all up to you really (just dont screw it up)...


MUSASHI898

grrr.... this is supposed to be a beginning of the summer holidays... why do you have to spit out the POISON ??!! I dont want to know anything 'bout year 11... I wanna enjoy my life for, pete's sake! (lol)

ok since were n tht topic, did you find it hard to study while practicing kendo?

[Anjin-san]

Kiai, step in to your cutting distance, and attack relentlessly. Take no prisoners! Commence FIRING!

Seriously... (reminisces wistfully) you're going to get rejected, but ask her out anyway, just to see what happens. I've been in your exact position, at least twice. Try not to tie your self-worth to what some random girl thinks of you. Girls will start liking you when you stop caring what they think of you. In other words, when you're relaxed and just chilling, but at the same time in control and decisive.

But hey, you've got more fighting spirit than I had at your age! Ganbare!

[samurai999]

Heres an idea, how about taking her somewhere instead of being sat at your computer......?

*big backhand* :ko:

Tim

[piggy]

Kiai, step in to your cutting distance, and attack relentlessly. Take no prisoners! Commence FIRING!

Seriously... (reminisces wistfully) you're going to get rejected, but ask her out anyway, just to see what happens. I've been in your exact position, at least twice. Try not to tie your self-worth to what some random girl thinks of you. Girls will start liking you when you stop caring what they think of you. In other words, when you're relaxed and just chilling, but at the same time in control and decisive.

But hey, you've got more fighting spirit than I had at your age! Ganbare!

hit the nail right on the head there. weve all been in those situations. thats just the way estrogen works.

and by the way, I GOT NEW BOGU!! so i have my date tonight...

[kuzu70]

So what's up, did you ask the girl out or what?

[rainmaker]

Few Kendo pick up lines for you.....

- Let's do Kirikeish together, you be the motodachi..
- Do you want to do Kakari geiko together ?
- Let's Taiatari, baby???
- Do you wear underwear in your hakama ?
- Your kote smells sooo arouse me ~~
- Can you oil my shina ?

arrrrrrrrr, you see it has been almost 12 years since I pick up any chics... Even goof like me can married too. So don't worry to much if she says no. You are only 15yrs old and you will sometime fail or lose. But that doesn't mean it is end of story but rather new start for other things. I cannot give you any good advise. Just be yourself. If you pretend to be someone, you will never be happy.

[Frame]

i should really leave this to najaf and ding here. But i've been at the pub so what the hell...
Dude you're 15....i'll type that again 15! who gives a damn, just ask the damn girl out.

yr11? who gives a damn. GCSE's mean close to nothing in the long run

[piggy]

haha!! i just peed my pants rainmaker. that last line, i'll have to use it sometime.

[ShinKenshi]

Easy date idea. Invite her to come to your kenjutsu practice. Then afterwards, go hang out for a while. If you practice comes just before or after dinner (I'm assuming your practices are at night), suggest that but only after she agrees to see the practice. Start chatting her up first. Since you've got common interests, use them to your advantage. I've heard that being a little "cocky but funny" works but I have no experience with that. Best of luck to you.

Commander: Woah, I totally thought you were a guy. Just goes to show how deceptive screen names can be :).

[aquilonian]

hahahaha!!! i never knew boys wud ask questions like that! ^_^ (im not being negative here)...

well...I'm a girl and I think i know why she acts like that... you see, girls always want to be persuaded. the more you try to get her, the lesser your chance. (this doesn't apply to everybody) so If i were you, i'd treat her like a
girl-next-door and don't get too 'grabby'... patience always help you get away with everything. and in the same time...be nice, cheerfull, and never lose you temper when she's rround (you can hit someone when she's gone)...smile sweetly but not brightly (she might think you're desperate)... never show anything that you feel inside!!! she'll think she's the boss and that you're a wimppie


Well she is somewhat right, but I'll try to translate from female to english. First off let me tell you I can tell you how to get girls, but not how to get along with them(I don't understand them,and you dont need to understand them to get them). The litterary grace of this post will go down considerably, in order to make it "simple". *first things first screw "nice", nice never gets laid, have you noticed that the vast majority of girls don't pick nice.

Hollywood is wrong, in every movie the guy always stalks the girl and then she finally falls for him. *thats a blatant lie, you keep following someone and you get a restriction order. dont keep at asking and forget about patience.

now lets start*be an ahole and treat her like cr@p. what I mean by crap is dont talk s**t to her, keep your language polite, (but dont be polite bastards are not polite). now the kiera is right about never lossing your temper, don't do that, your attitude should be "I am too good to for you", so either way whatever answer she gives, you dont care because you were too good for her anyway. stay cool.

what I mean by ahole or bastard is: never open a door for her 1.(she is not your wife and she is not your girlfriend!).never take ta chair out for her, dont carry her stuff DONT buy her anything(see number one).Do Not, and I repeat DoNOt tell her she is pretty, or give her compliments.Kiera is right do not show them you care about them in the least, (she sure got that boss part right). It's like a little puppy you have to train them from the beginning not to cr@p on the floor, because later its almost impossible.

*screw frienship, friends never get laid. if she calls you her friend prompltly remind her that you are not her friend, you have friends, you bs with them and talk about girls with them, and she is not one of your "friends".

now when you ask, DO NOT ask if SHE would like to go out with you,YOU are too good for her remember?(eve though you know you are dying to see her).Tell her YOU want her to go out with you. (ex. I want you to go out with me.)

If she asks where tell her: who cares! dont worry about it. (you just want to go out with her right you dont really care where you go.)

dont go to super public places, the worst is coffe if she offers coffer politely tell her : never mind. or never mind dude. (they hate dude.you are too good for her remember.*wink.) sience you are young I understand you dont have many options. but keep it as secluded as possible. dont buy into that making her comfortable bs. you want to apply some pressure.

dont spend money on her, dont take her out to eat, tell her you are full,( she is nothing of you, and she if just wants you for the things you buy her then screw it, if you wanted to get charged a hooker will do that and cut all the bs.)

again kiera is right. do not give this broad any attention, YOU are too good for her she should give YOU the attention damn it!*wink.women die for attention they will do anything for it, but if you give it to her for nothing, then you have no treats for your puppy*.

Now if she says no, or that she just wants to be friends. pretend you dont care say something like: thats cool.or too bad it could have been fun. and walk away. your best bet then is just to ignore her completly and, then she might be interested interested enough to come up to you and ask you out saying she thought things through. (my mexican friends have a saying that goes something like:the doubt always kills (gets the better of) women).

If you are not sure about this approach, try it on another girl you really dont care about first, and if it seems plausible to you then try it.

now if she still doesnt want you than: THA HELL WITH HER!*

Now more than anything: be a MAN! throughout history the wealthiest and the most ruthless barbaric men got all the women, do you think they were nice? Hell no! did you know Jenghiz Khan has over 16 million decedants today? and he was as bad as they come. now maybe you dont want to sleep wilth thousands of women, maybe one or two, maybe just one, you dont have to be a completely evil bastard, but maybe a little of that Khan attitude wont hurt.

Now if you are so usure that you cannot go through with asking her, dont go get any liquid courage or put something in your body to alter your mood (like a ton of coffe). just dont masturbate for 3 or 4 days, and you will have all the courage you need.

post scriptum. Now I understand that you are a nice guy, I am too, Guys like us would like nothing better that to get along in harmony with the opposite sex. unfortunatetly they dont respond to that. thats why writter compare love to war, alot is written in the subject.

pps. this is only learned with age, my friends are all 38 to 65, some of them are married but all of them go out with young girls, 18-28. and if you are 15 and just want to get laid your best bet would be maybe a 30-30some year old woman, just my opinion.

ppps. damn this turned into a novel!

[aquilonian]

hahahaha!!! i never knew boys wud ask questions like that! ^_^ (im not being negative here)...

she'll think she's the boss and that you're a wimppie

damn right! BE A MAN!

[Pan-Chan]

Show her your 'mad kendo skills' and she'll HAVE to go out with you; who can resist a kenshi, right? Right. :D

[Charuzu]

aquilonian (http://www.kendo-world.com/forum/member.php?u=4702), I really dont think that I can do that... it just.... isn't me. In addition that might work for good looking people... but look at my blog. The pic on top of the old poetry. That would be me. I got a haircut and new glasses and like them verry much ^o^

Still, unless I hate someone I could never, ever treat them like crap.

Also, Pan-Chan.... I already did. I also went over how to do shomen-uchi and did sonething haya-suburi-ish. She liked it very much and Is going to next weeks practice. ^o^

PS - Thank you for all of your usefull posts. I will post my responces and How things are going here. Thanks. (Does this remind anyone of Train-man??)

[GoldenShinai]

Hello, I'm here to ask you guys a important question. Their is one girl that I like. She Has all the same intrests as be. For example, she loves anime, has a intrest in japanese swordsmanship, ect, ect. In addition, she likes wearing Kimono.... kawaii~~

However, I know that that alone really isn't going to help me. I've asked out others with the same intrest and always got the same answer 'not in a 1,000,000 years' or 'Let's just be friends, K?'. I am also worried becuse one of the things that she prides herself in is card readings in which I will soposidly get pregnant!? I made fun of that reading a bit too much and she wasn't amused.

I also really suck while talking to girls.... man I feel like that guy in 'train-man' just insted of 2ch It is Kendo-world (and mabie 4-ch).
　 　 　/-----\
('A`) <　Why? |　 　 　
( ﾍﾍ \_____/

Any sugestions or tips??? Please, I don't know how to go ahead with this. =o=

PS - I am also not very good looking at all as you can see in my pic Here (http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6497/602/320/KEY70001.jpg)


My opinion- CUDDLE WITH HER. It works XD

[Denker]

PS - Thank you for all of your usefull posts. I will post my responces and How things are going here. Thanks. (Does this remind anyone of Train-man??)

Just a minor suggestion:

Don't post a bunch of details on what's going on. A simple, "She said yes!" is far more appropriate than giving a blow by blow account.

You know, chivalry! Be a gallant knight . . . Or samurai . . . Whatever.

- Matt

[Lloromannic]

PS - Thank you for all of your usefull posts. I will post my responces and How things are going here. Thanks. (Does this remind anyone of Train-man??)

Do you mean Rainman with Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman?
If so, yes

[aquilonian]

aquilonian (http://www.kendo-world.com/forum/member.php?u=4702), I really dont think that I can do that... it just.... isn't me. In addition that might work for good looking people... but look at my blog. The pic on top of the old poetry. That would be me. I got a haircut and new glasses and like them verry much ^o^

Still, unless I hate someone I could never, ever treat them like crap.

Also, Pan-Chan.... I already did. I also went over how to do shomen-uchi and did sonething haya-suburi-ish. She liked it very much and Is going to next weeks practice. ^o^

PS - Thank you for all of your usefull posts. I will post my responces and How things are going here. Thanks. (Does this remind anyone of Train-man??)

Yeah man I understand completely, I used to feel the same way a few years back. as far as good looking people go,are you kidding me, they usually dont have to do much, what you see is what you get, they have the goods on the outside. this works better for the unattractive crowd, because you cant see the good things on the outside, you have to create interest, when you dont pay attention to her like every other guy does, she will wonder: what you have that other guys dont? she will think It must be good if youre acting like that. perception is a strong influence on peoples decisions. have'nt you ever seen the classical supper ugly guy with a super hot girl? and then wondered how did he do it?and the most surprising thing is half these guys are broke. Well they figured this out along time ago, or are just naturally aholes.

I saw your blog just now, after a while when she really gets to know you, she cant help but like you, when she sees all the cool things about you, mainly that you are not a complete moron like most 15yos.

Man dont beat yourself up dude. there is NOTHING wrong with you man. Take a good look at yourself. You are young and everything is there, everything works, you make it sound like youre missing an arm or something. all you need is courage man. I dont know you but from your posts I will guess that you were raised mostly by a single woman. I see all these guys like this over here. Tell me if Iam wrong.

Well I dont suggest you call her a scumbag or spit on her face. It is mearly a change of attitude to get you in the door, a new outlook for yourself. at first this realizations made me quite mad, why would someone be attracted to people that dont treat them with kindness? It was a hard pill to swallow siece I was raised to be very polite and well behaved (if I didn't a firm beating would ensue).If you ever change your mind and are about to give up, give it a try once or twice, see the results and judge for yourself.

most people condemn me for saying things like these (mostly girls). thank you for not calling me a bastard outright. The reason for this is it totally goes against logic. a good analogy would be when you are driving on an icy road....you are going head on. but your tires dont have anymore traction, you are almost hydroplaning.....you begin to skid out of control clockwise.... your first instinct is to slam the brakes and turn the wheel anti-clockwise..the result is you crash and burn. what you have to do when you lose control is completely let go... ignore your instincs to slam the brakes.... and then have the courage to turn INTO the skid, into danger. turn the damn thing clockwise even though you feel you are going to get killed.....then slowly... your vehicle straightens out, you slow down and regain control.

lastly Thank you for sharing your public life and giving us some entertainment. to you its your life and to us its just entertainment, that alone takes some guts, and not lashing out on everyone that has an odd point of view shows alot of self control. I will leave for a while I'll check back next week, good luck.

post scriptum. Iam also interested in string theory, and physics in general. What do you think of Michio Kaku? and do you listen to his show "explorations"? Do you get coast2coast AM in NY?

[GoldenShinai]

If the cuddle thing don't work, write her a song

[GoldenShinai]

Sorry for the double posts but.......

You should build her a cake or something...

[Sepiraph]

Make sure get the girl to like u first before asking her out. By 'liking', I don't mean that she likes u as 'just a friend'. If so, my friend, you have failed.

Getting a girl to like u isn't that hard if you are somewhat decent looking, just show some confident in front of her, it especially helps if you can be mildly funny or entertaining. There is nothing worse than being with someone who is boring, guys or girls. It helps if you can be a bit flirty with her too, and start showing her some attention. Girls aren't stupid, they'd pick up on that you are interested in her & you'll probably know soon whether she's interested in you as well.

[gabro]

I realise some of you aren't old enough for this tactic, but I prefer standing in a bar with some mates having a quiet drink or five, whilst some Cro Magnon Female approaches from behind with her big stick. Next thing I know I wake up in some strange cave :)


if you are 15 and just want to get laid your best bet would be maybe a 30-30some year old woman, just my opinion.


Ahem....I have a "friend" who assures me this is true ;)

Mads

[Anjin-san]

I'm a pimp mack daddy supreme, all girls are hoe's yadda yadda

Dude's 15! He doesn't need the whole of TFM from howtopickuphotchicks.com just yet!



most people condemn me for saying things like these (mostly girls). thank you for not calling me a bastard outright.

Thats because you lack social skills. Instead of saying 'be a man, have an agenda, don't let a girl set your frame' its 'be an asshole, treat her like crap, etc'. Don't name the matrix... you will be ridiculed.

I'm not saying being an asshole doesn't work, it most certainly does. However, do you really want to act like that, just to get some tail? And do you really want to be preaching that to some 15 year old you don't know?

You can acheive the same thing by being confident, funny, a little cocky, and acting as though you're a tiny bit cooler than the girl. This way is more likely to succeed, and you're both likely to have more fun.

[Wes Nazo]

I've asked out others with the same intrest and always got the same answer 'not in a 1,000,000 years' or 'Let's just be friends, K?'.

I also really suck while talking to girls....


Why bother? Girls will never accept a date, yet you still ask them out. These girls treat you like you're nothing until they need something. If they don't give you basic respect as a person, why should you for them? You'll just make you life unnecessarily complicated. The last thing you need is someone else's problems dragging you down.

Buddha says...
"He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes."

[mingshi]

Charuzu, maybe you'd need to work on your spellings... but in your photo you look quite cute...!

Referencing Train-man (Densha Otoko - I've only read the book), the moral of the story is that YOU have to make an effort. Make the call you need to make. Walk up to her and say the things you are going to say. If you are not sure about yourself, then do something about it. Get new clothes, redo your hair, etc. etc. Who is going to like you if you don't even like yourself??

No one is perfect, but, "I've tried my best. I have no regrets." - William Hung

[stephanie dee]

Aw bless you!!!

Erm, from a lasses point of view, most lasses like confidence. We love it when a bloke has the confidience to come up to you and strike up a conversation or something. Try not to be too shy around her, and don't ever feel that you have made an arse out of yourself.

Try talking about the things that you have in commen, ask her opinion on things and try to look like you are really listening when she gives you a reply. Just get to know her, and let her get to know you for who you are. Don't change and don't try to be something that you aren't because she will be able to tell.

Even if the end result is that she says no, then she aint good enough for you anyhow! So don't worry about it,just be confident and be yourself, if she likes you, she likes you, if not, well, there are plenty of other lasses in the world!

[Munnin]

Some simple advice I wish I had gotten at your age.

1) Not every woman is available, and if they are they may simply not be available to you. You job is to find women who are available and interested in you. Pursuing or worrying about women who are not is a waste of time.

2) Be around women where they are relaxed and having fun. In my younger days I spent time playing chess, D&D, programming computers and wondering why I could not find a date. I have no idea what 15 year old girls do these days but you need to figure that out. Also find out what book the girls are reading, it will change every few months but being able to talk intelligently about it give you something to small talk about.

3) Don't be interesting be interested. Don't waste time and energy on being interesting, you can't keep that kind of energy going for long. But being interested in them and what they do is easy for you and intoxicating for them.

4) Believe in them, one of the most powerful things I have every told a women is yes I think you can do that, followed by details of possible approaches. I am not saying fake it or pretend knowledge you don't have but being supportive is powerful.

5) Stop worrying about asking the question. If your the sort of person who can accept rejection then just ask. If thats too difficult then just find a movie you want to see and suggest seeing it. Leave that question of dating not dating until after the first kiss... after that the point is moot. If she just want to be friends then fine, either you want her as a friend or you don't just move on and find a women who does want you.

6) Nothing seems quite so attractive as a man who may already have a women. Odd I know but its like receiving a stamp of approval. While this is an interesting fact I have no idea how it could help you. :) In general though I think thats why its a good idea to have women who are just friends, it helps keep that ambiguous stamp of approval going.

[Frame]

I recommend you set yourself on fire and run around arms flailing outside her house... works everytime.

just to reiterate...... you're 15, if it all goes balls up then it's not the end of the world

[h2o]

...... you're 15, if it all goes balls up then it's not the end of the world
But it will for sure feel like it :D

But, either way, just go for it and don't think too much. Girls aren't really evil, they just pretend to ;)

[ramblingmind]

Ahhh, to be 15 again........

Mate, just be a man and ask her out for a movie or whatever it is you teenagers do nowadays. I'd make sure that other people would come along as well - that way conversation won't dry up. Do that with different friends for a couple of times then ask her if she'd like to go out alone with you. From then on, it's all up to you.

Of course, if she then happens to like your friend before the "going out alone with you" part happens, you're pretty much screwed, although it would confirm that whatever you felt for her was purely one-sided to begin with.

[Lloromannic]

Well, you have more chance of her agreeing if you actually ask her rather than procastinating.

[piggy]

Buddha says...
"He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes."

he who loves noone is definately not getting a date.

if she doesnt want to go out with you, just tie her up in your basement and observe her behavior. i have a few of them in my basement...
(its a joke obviously)

[Anjin-san]

You better report back and tell us what happened!

[Gatsu]

Yeah, i wanna hear this.

[GoldenShinai]

So when are you gonna drop the question?

[Washington]

Any sugestions or tips??? Please, I don't know how to go ahead with this.

Don't do it !! Your only 15 and have so much to live for still.. save yourself while you still can man !!

[Charuzu]

So when are you gonna drop the question?

Right now I'm getting to know her more better. I am being good to my sister (I am cooking, cleaning, running erans for her and Doing her chores) and in return she is telling her How great of a person I am.
She also comes over more often.

I have her number also and I call her now-and-then to see how she is doing and disscuss various things. I am also getting transfer paper so I can wear cool shirts insted of 3rd hand clothing.

She is also comming over to next weeks Kenjutsu/Batto-jutsu class.

So in short. I'll wait a bit till she gets a good oppion of me and then take my sisters advice and hang out with her (Mall, movies, ect.) and then after that... see if she'll go out with me.

[Anjin-san]

You're going to get LJBF'd. But keep going!

[GoldenShinai]

You can do it!!!!

[Musashi898]

In just wanna say today has been intresting, ur tryin to get a girl out wiv her lol, i just got dumped tonight, my best friend has just made a play for her. Damn it lol, gud luck in askin her out.

Damian

[Wes Nazo]

You're going to get LJBF'd. But keep going!

With the way you're going, that seems likely. "Let's just be friends" is what a girl says to you when she'd rather be with an a**hole who will use her, abuse her, and eventually break her heart, even though she knows that you would never do those things to her.

When a girl says to you, "let's just be friends", that's like your mom telling you, "the dog died, but you can still keep it if you want to."

[piggy]

With the way you're going, that seems likely. "Let's just be friends" is what a girl says to you when she'd rather be with an a**hole who will use her, abuse her, and eventually break her heart, even though she knows that you would never do those things to her.

When a girl says to you, "let's just be friends", that's like your mom telling you, "the dog died, but you can still keep it if you want to."


isnt that the truth man. if she doesnt like you, whats the point of even trying to get her to like you?

[KhawMengLee]

When a girl says to you, "let's just be friends", that's like your mom telling you, "the dog died, but you can still keep it if you want to."

Bwahahahahahahaahahahahahahhaahahahahaaahahahahaha aaaa! OMG! That's a great analogy.

[KhawMengLee]

Right now I'm getting to know her more better. I am being good to my sister (I am cooking, cleaning, running erans for her and Doing her chores) and in return she is telling her How great of a person I am.
She also comes over more often.

I have her number also and I call her now-and-then to see how she is doing and disscuss various things. I am also getting transfer paper so I can wear cool shirts insted of 3rd hand clothing.

She is also comming over to next weeks Kenjutsu/Batto-jutsu class.

So in short. I'll wait a bit till she gets a good oppion of me and then take my sisters advice and hang out with her (Mall, movies, ect.) and then after that... see if she'll go out with me.

Dude...its going to work out good 2 ways:

1) You are good looking and she is attracted to you and half your roadwork is done.

2) You are not good looking but are a great guy. Meaning you have to work at it. Hang out more and just be yourself. Make her feel comfortable around you(well, not in a brotherly way...which is just like the LJBF analogy). You guys seem to share the same interests, just hang out then and have fun. Make her laugh.

Haha...getting someone else to promote you isn't good if its not YOU thats being promoted. If your sis build you up to be something you;re not, what happens when the girl finds out? Just be yourself, show her what you are good at.

[KhawMengLee]

2.)The 1st girl to like me... I didn't have good timing so long story short she is now dating my sister. =o=

Wait...did I read this right...girl...dating...your sister...*grin slowly spreads across mengs face*

[Naginatagirl]

Okay, firstly, no one likes an a$$hole, so just drop that idea. Or a spitter. Don't spit. That's just disgusting. :wink: And as long as you're not repulsive enough that children start crying at the sight of you and dogs run in fear, you'll be fine in that department. Honestly. Looks matter for the first five minutes, then it's who you are. If you've passed that five and she doesn't look like she's smelled something foul, you're okay. The only thing I can say is don't be an idiot. That doesn't mean don't make mistakes, that means don't be ignorant and stupid. Have at least a high school education when you graduate high school. Being 18 but acting and speaking like you're 15 is just NOT attractive. And if you are 15, don't act like you're 12. There is a reason why most girls like older guys (a.k.a. they aren't as dumb as the guys their own age).


The smartest thing I've heard here is "be interested, not interesting." The slowest being, "treat her like cr@p." Do the sensible thing.

[drizzt]

advice on women.....run hide and stay there....immediatly......(sorry been fighting with the gf of 2 1/2 yrs AGAIN)

[drizzt]

With the way you're going, that seems likely. "Let's just be friends" is what a girl says to you when she'd rather be with an a**hole who will use her, abuse her, and eventually break her heart, even though she knows that you would never do those things to her.

When a girl says to you, "let's just be friends", that's like your mom telling you, "the dog died, but you can still keep it if you want to."

or to quote jeff Foxworthy

".....Dont you love it when a woman sys"i need some space".....thats actualy half a sentence. The rest is "without you in it". And trust me guys, no woman has ever said that without having someone else in mind. She's already cut a pony form the herd, and if she aint riding him yet, she has pulled the saddle out of the barn......"

[D'Artagnan]

Why don't you suggest that you will pay her to go out with you?

[Charuzu]

Why don't you suggest that you will pay her to go out with you?
I have no money :(


advice on women.....run hide and stay there....immediatly
Good advice but I just happen to be on her good side (*^o^*)?!

[Wes Nazo]

Good advice but I just happen to be on her good side (*^o^*)?!

You seem to come off as a little too eager. Almost as if to make her think she's doing you a favor by going out with you. Just take it a little easy and play it cool. Be somewhat aloof. Don't make yourself always available.

Example: Her:"Wanna go out Friday night?" You:"Nah. Busy Friday. Let's go out Saturday."

[Wes Nazo]

Okay, firstly, no one likes an a$$hole, so just drop that idea. The only thing I can say is don't be an idiot. That doesn't mean don't make mistakes, that means don't be ignorant and stupid. Have at least a high school education when you graduate high school. Being 18 but acting and speaking like you're 15 is just NOT attractive. And if you are 15, don't act like you're 12. There is a reason why most girls like older guys (a.k.a. they aren't as dumb as the guys their own age).


I'd agree...if this was a just world. However, my observations say otherwise. I'm always see girls with a**hole guys. I admit I was a "nice guy" who was always regulated to LJBF status: She's says "You're my best friend! Stay here while I go makeout with my boyfriend. When I come back I talk to you about all the problems we're having!"
...that sh*t gets old fast.

I'm not saying to act like and a**hole. Don't stoop to that level. If I have to be a jerk to get a girl to like me, that's a girl I don't want.

[Anjin-san]

One thing thats key, is that if you think about this stuff and plan it and ask for advice on INTERNET FORUMS then you're setting yourself up for failure.

I say this from experience, don't overplan, deliberate, strategise, and otherwise fill your head with second-guesses and conclusions that aren't quite based on reality. Like Kendo shiai, you'll screw it up if you plan too much.

[KhawMengLee]

One thing thats key, is that if you think about this stuff and plan it and ask for advice on INTERNET FORUMS then you're setting yourself up for failure.

I say this from experience, don't overplan, deliberate, strategise, and otherwise fill your head with second-guesses and conclusions that aren't quite based on reality. Like Kendo shiai, you'll screw it up if you plan too much.

Hence, be yourself and enjoy her company. And try not to think about nookie...girls have a radar for that...

Just have fun.

[Wes Nazo]

Hence, be yourself and enjoy her company. And try not to think about nookie...girls have a radar for that...

Just have fun.

I mean no disrespect, but whenever people don't have good advice to give, they'll always tell you to "be yourself." That is bullsh*t. If being yourself got you anywhere, Charuzu wouldn't be asking for advice right now.

[KhawMengLee]

I mean no disrespect, but whenever people don't have good advice to give, they'll always tell you to "be yourself." That is bullsh*t. If being yourself got you anywhere, Charuzu wouldn't be asking for advice right now.

Never gotten me in trouble yet. By 'be yourself' I mean just relax and enjoy the moment. Heck, that's one of the great things in a relationship that works, the fact that you can 'be yourself' with this person and not have any pretentious bullshit in between.

[Anjin-san]

By saying 'be yourself' all thats being said is 'don't pretend to be something you're not'. Thats to stop people pretending to be a pimped mack daddy playa when they don't have the attitudes and beliefs to back it up. They'll end up coming accross incongruent and would have had a better chance 'just being themself'.

For more kendo analogy, its like when you say to someone to do their normal jigeiko kendo before shiai. You don't pull out jodan or something without having practiced it, you do your normal kendo.

[Wes Nazo]

I found that when I am myself, I'm either hopelessly dorky or totally blunt. I'm sure that works out *great* in real life high school. I found that being yourself only works after you've had time to mature. Definately doesn't work out in your favor if you're some squirrelly high school kid.

Damn. If I had the experience I have now when I was in high school...

[KhawMengLee]

Damn. If I had the experience I have now when I was in high school...

...there'd be a lot of worried father's out there.

hahahahahahahaha!

[stephanie dee]

I love the way that you guys think of us women in general!


advice on women.....run hide and stay there....immediatly......

Some of the stuff that you people put... hehe, it's rather amusing!

[Anjin-san]

you have no idea...

[drizzt]

I have no money :(


Good advice but I just happen to be on her good side (*^o^*)?!


That will change on an hourly basis.....at least it does for me....

[Veren]

That will change on an hourly basis.....at least it does for me....

Yeah, you get some money, and an hour later, you're buying her dinner? Or did you mean the "good side" thing? ;)

Suggestion: interested in a girl? Take two aspirin, find a dark room, and sit in the corner and wait for the feeling to subside. :)

[drizzt]

Yeah, you get some money, and an hour later, you're buying her dinner? Or did you mean the "good side" thing? ;)

Suggestion: interested in a girl? Take two aspirin, find a dark room, and sit in the corner and wait for the feeling to subside. :)

both......

BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Anjin-san]

Suit yourselves guys, the world needs dudes like you to depress women so that they can appreciate dudes like me more :wink:

[Anjin-san]

and dudes like Charuzu too...

[nodaka]

Here is a quick exercise to work on, if you are having problems asking this girl out becaue you do not yet know how to confidently talk to the ladies.

Start out by finding and talking to unatractive or heavy set ladies, they will give you the time of day. Work out all the glitches with them; learn how to make your entry, learn how not to be too anxious, learn how to smooth out your speak. And get smooth.

Then talk to the chicks you really like, your confidence will have improved considerably.

If you only try out for the once you want and turn their back on you everytime, this might give you inner feelings of worthlessness and kick you confidence back about two centuries.

Good luck.

[DarQik]

I'd agree...if this was a just world. However, my observations say otherwise. I'm always see girls with a**hole guys. I admit I was a "nice guy" who was always regulated to LJBF status: She's says "You're my best friend! Stay here while I go makeout with my boyfriend. When I come back I talk to you about all the problems we're having!"
...that sh*t gets old fast.

I'm not saying to act like and a**hole. Don't stoop to that level. If I have to be a jerk to get a girl to like me, that's a girl I don't want.Besides the "friends" status there's the "backup" status--if things don't work out with the dicey guy, he'll be there... I know my evaluation of experiences from high school were similar. (and even in the years afterwards... I mean wasn't it obvious what kind of guy he was, to everyone but her?)

Of course, I was too much of a socially inept geek as far as I can tell. I tried hard a few times and only managed to fall flat harder, but it did help me learn. While those years were generally depressing and overwhelmingly a pit of hopelessness, somehow things turned better... (Oh look the wife is calling me... and puts me on hold for another call...)

Good luck kid! (I mean that in a good way) Life goes through some major changes between 15, 17, 19, etc... Even if you do get to go out with her now, happily ever after doesn't usually get off the ground until at least 19. (and statistically--very, very rarely) Don't let yourself get to caught up in feeling that things at this age will make or break your life... (I didn't buy that at 15-17 either)

Gamebatte Charuzu! (or something like that...)

[Mr. Donigan]

Remember if you never try, she won't have a chance to say yes. I've been turned down as many times as a woman has said yes, but you know what it was all worth it. Now, years later I'm happily married all because I asked someone to dance. In other words, give it a shot.

[Wes Nazo]

This whole thread reminds me of how much I hated high school.

[PhilMcLaughlin]

Here is a quick exercise to work on, if you are having problems asking this girl out becaue you do not yet know how to confidently talk to the ladies.

Start out by finding and talking to unatractive or heavy set ladies, they will give you the time of day. Work out all the glitches with them; learn how to make your entry, learn how not to be too anxious, learn how to smooth out your speak. And get smooth.

Then talk to the chicks you really like, your confidence will have improved considerably.

If you only try out for the once you want and turn their back on you everytime, this might give you inner feelings of worthlessness and kick you confidence back about two centuries.

Good luck.

I agree here - because you want to get laid - sorry form a meaningful relationship youre anxious & women just hate anxious guys

They always go with the bad lads because the bad lads exude confidence - even if they do treat them horribly - especially at this age range

So, practise on ones you dont care about (but be careful becuase you might find out something intresting) & even better ask one of those out on a date - hey youre 15 and youre going to be a very lucky boy if you get laid quickly (winning local lottery may help) so dont worry about it - itll happen when the time is right

Now my experience is that women are like london busses (some of them bear a startling resemblence in fact ) .

What I really mean here is that you spend ages waiting for one & then several arrive at the same time. You can either get on one bus and go all the way to the end of the line - or you can try each different one & see if one suits you better

at the end of the day dont worry about it - with your sister as most likely predator you're odds arent real good anyway

So, turn the tables, LJBF the one youre drooling for & ask someone else out

I think you may see some changes

anyway good luck fellar - ive enjoyed reading this thread

[The great I AM]

Now my experience is that women are like london busses

What, massive, red and usually filled by dickheads?

[PhilMcLaughlin]

What, massive, red and usually filled by dickheads?


occasionally.........

Thankfully by the time I get to the state that the beer goggles might make them attractive Im usually unconscious :-)

[Paikea]

...there'd be a lot of worried father's out there.
Yes, I am frequently heard thanking God that I have only sons...it's one less opportunity for the universe to get even with me.

[hyuna]

Start out by finding and talking to unatractive or heavy set ladies, they will give you the time of day. Work out all the glitches with them; learn how to make your entry, learn how not to be too anxious, learn how to smooth out your speak. And get smooth.


So, practise on ones you dont care about (but be careful becuase you might find out something intresting) & even better ask one of those out on a date

Maybe it is just me, but I find this to be heartless and cruel advice.

Other people are not practice dummies for you to try out your moves on.

I agree, if you are shy, you should talk to people. But the goal should not be to graduate from them and then cast them aside so you can start talking to people you are really interested in. Talk to a person because they are worth talking to for who they are.

As for advice for talking to women, I think it is just like kendo. If you want to talk to her, you have to go for it, 100%, full commitment, with sutemi. That is all. It is scary, of course, because we might be rejected. But it is the same with doing shomen against a strong opponent. It is scary because they will beat the crap out of us. But you make yourself do it, and each time you get stronger and stronger. The way to get stronger is to face your fear and fight strong opponents. In the same way, the way to get better at talking to women you are interested in is to face your fear, dive right in and just do it without concern for failure.

As for the a-hole guys getting girls, a-hole guys are arrogant. Arrogant guys are not afraid of failure. So the arrogant guys are the ones who talk to women. And, since they are the ones talking, they are obviously the ones who end up with them. It is not the fact that they are a-holes. It is the fact that they are not afraid to go after what they want.

[mingshi]

As for the a-hole guys getting girls...
Haven't you heard of The Ladder Theory (http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html)?

Inspiring read! :wink:

[Hai_hai]

So in short. I'll wait a bit till she gets a good oppion of me...
Hmmm, did the temp just drop in Hades or is it just me?

[PhilMcLaughlin]

Maybe it is just me, but I find this to be heartless and cruel advice.

Other people are not practice dummies for you to try out your moves on.


the intresting i referred to (and you quoted) is that fact that getting to know people leads to liking them for who they are.

This lad (he IS 15 after all) is a typical shy guy in a difficult context

My guess is that if he approaches this equally young lady in such an intense way she will run a mile thus defeating his stated purpose

If he asks someone else out he may find that what he thought was important is actually unimporttant & vice versa - he might relax and enjoy the company rather than worrying about it all the time

I must admit the 'heavy set' bit is a bit strong, but sadly often true

in any case he gets to learn the art of conversation with females




I agree, if you are shy, you should talk to people. But the goal should not be to graduate from them and then cast them aside so you can start talking to people you are really interested in. Talk to a person because they are worth talking to for who they are.


Happens all the time - especially at that age - but actually i agree with you

in any case hes 15 - can you recall what you were like with girls then ?

cheers

[Hai_hai]

Hello Charlie Poltensen of Liverpool, NY,

Nice blog. http://charuzublog.blogspot.com/

I used to live there.

[PhilMcLaughlin]

Haven't you heard of The Ladder Theory (http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html)?

Inspiring read! :wink:

Thats hilarious - I wish id seen that many years ago :-)

thanks jenny

[Anjin-san]

As for the a-hole guys getting girls, a-hole guys are arrogant. Arrogant guys are not afraid of failure. So the arrogant guys are the ones who talk to women. And, since they are the ones talking, they are obviously the ones who end up with them. It is not the fact that they are a-holes. It is the fact that they are not afraid to go after what they want.

Being an arrogant a-hole keeps things simple :)

[hyuna]

the intresting i referred to (and you quoted) is that fact that getting to know people leads to liking them for who they are.
I'm sorry if I was too harsh on you. You said you agreed with nodoka, so I guess I read too much agreement into your posting. From your second posting, I think we do agree more than not...


in any case hes 15 - can you recall what you were like with girls then ?
I remember being 15 -- I was better with girls then. Now that I am married, I am a bit out of practice speaking to attractive women that I don't know. But when I try to, at least I get plenty of dodging practice when I get home :wink:

[PhilMcLaughlin]

I'm sorry if I was too harsh on you. You said you agreed with nodoka, so I guess I read too much agreement into your posting. From your second posting, I think we do agree more than not...


I remember being 15 -- I was better with girls then. Now that I am married, I am a bit out of practice speaking to attractive women that I don't know. But when I try to, at least I get plenty of dodging practice when I get home :wink:

No prob - it was my fault for not using smilies appropriately & being a bit hasty with the reply

there is a case for him just talking to people he has no romantic intrest in - once he gets the idea that its no harder to talk to anyone hes away !

It WAS a bit toungue in cheek (though perhaps that isnt too useful an expression here :-)

I was useless with girls at 15 - took me ages to figure it out so Im empathising with the guy here :-)

regards

[Charuzu]

Wow.... Hai_hai Lived In liverpool.... Hai_hai.... what street did you live on?

Also, I have been taking tips from my sister.... I hope that will increase my odds. I am also taking her to Kenjutsu/Batto-jutsu class.... who knows she might start classes with me. ^o^

[Hai_hai]

Wow.... Hai_hai Lived In liverpool.... Hai_hai.... what street did you live on?
Vine Street.

[Wes Nazo]

"Yes Virginia, They All Want to Bang You." - from Ladder Theory

Exactly. My ex-girlfriend had a lot of guy friends. Of course they were all trying to get in her pants by playing up to the "I'm your non-threatening male friend" bit. Salivating like wolves waiting for a time when she's vulnerable and needing a "shoulder to cry on." WHY DON'T YOU GIRLS REALISE THIS!

[hyuna]

Exactly.So you agree? I guess that means that you have never been friends with any of your girlfriends? So, to you, all of your girlfriends, and all attractive women you have known and know now, are simply targets of sexual conquest? How interesting...... Good luck with that Oedipus complex...

[Wes Nazo]

So you agree? I guess that means that you have never been friends with any of your girlfriends? So, to you, all of your girlfriends, and all attractive women you have known and know now, are simply targets of sexual conquest? How interesting...... Good luck with that Oedipus complex...

I think you misunderstood (or maybe you're just being an ass). This has to do with friends. I don't have any female friends because I already have guy friends who are more fun. As far as my past girlfriends are concerned, I have never been "friends" with them first. I let them know that I liked them romantically and if they "just want to be friends" I moved on. I'm not going to sit on the side and wait like a hungry puppy. I find that a waste of time and just makes you feel miserable while she goes out with other guys. I also find pretending to be their "friend" is deciteful.

You're probly one of those so-called liberal males who think they know what women want.

[Anjin-san]

Wez Nazo...

I completely hear you on clueless guys playing the 'shoulder to cry on' card. The funniest thing is normally girls tell these guys all about their badboy 'friends with benefits' who make them emotional rather than guys who think they're making progress just by sticking around and talking about the weather, star wars, and programming.

I think a lot of girls realise what they're doing but know that these guys aren't getting any, so they use them as emotional tampons. Any guy who goes for this route deserves it IMO.

edit: debana posted... here here! I agree with all of what you said!

[The great I AM]

I've got it all figured out!! Don't go for the girl, go for the hand! Run off to bed and have a wank! That'll stop you thinking of girls for 3 seconds and relieve a little stress!! Two birds with one stone! Just say hello to Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters...

[Wes Nazo]

I've got it all figured out!! Don't go for the girl, go for the hand! Run off to bed and have a wank! That'll stop you thinking of girls for 3 seconds and relieve a little stress!! Two birds with one stone! Just say hello to Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters...

Heh...Not to mention a 100 times cheaper as well.

[Lloromannic]

I've got it all figured out!! Don't go for the girl, go for the hand! Run off to bed and have a wank! That'll stop you thinking of girls for 3 seconds and relieve a little stress!! Two birds with one stone! Just say hello to Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters...

Three seconds!! That's fast, but not the good kind of fast, rather the crying-in-the-toilet fast.




I completely hear you on clueless guys playing the 'shoulder to cry on' card. The funniest thing is normally girls tell these guys all about their badboy 'friends with benefits' who make them emotional rather than guys who think they're making progress just by sticking around and talking about the weather, star wars, and programming.

I think a lot of girls realise what they're doing but know that these guys aren't getting any, so they use them as emotional tampons. Any guy who goes for this route deserves it IMO.


Actually, I've had success in being "the friend" and later escalating, BUT, the catch is that I was truly genuinely not romantically interested at first. If you just use the "friendship" as an excuse to "try to bang her", they generally see through it and just use you.

[hyuna]

I think you misunderstood (or maybe you're just being an ass).
A little bit of both, I think.


This has to do with friends. I don't have any female friends because I already have guy friends who are more fun. As far as my past girlfriends are concerned, I have never been "friends" with them first. [...] I also find pretending to be their "friend" is deciteful.
Are you differentiating between "friend" and friend? I am not sure what you are saying.

I certainly agree that pretending to be a friend is deceitful, but I don't see what that has to do with actually being friends. I don't know about you, but I do not find I can pick and choose friends. I hang around with some people who are fun who I don't really think of as friends, and there are people who I consider close friends who are not that much fun to hang around at all. A friend is someone that I feel some bond and responsibility for. None of that has anything to do with fun or sexual attraction insofar that I can tell.

In other words, I am trying to understand if you really do not feel any kind of friendship or kinship towards any women, and only sexual attraction, or not. That is how what you said came across to me.

Which is where my being an ass comes from: that kind of objectification of people irks me. Moreover, it is not just objectification of women by men, it is also the idea of my own sex being thought of as solely being motivated by sexual desire. I like to believe that I am--that all men are--slightly more complex than that, and that our relationship to women is driven by more than that. Naive as that may be.

I took the web page as kind of a joke; I thought it was amusing in its own way. I don't believe I know any people who are actually as 1-dimensional as the way the page parodies them. But, I am curious now because of your vehement agreement with it.


You're probly one of those so-called liberal males who think they know what women want.
I don't claim to understand women. I'm not sure how we got from how you relate to women to my politics and whether or not I think I understand them.

[Wes Nazo]

I like to believe that I am--that all men are--slightly more complex than that, and that our relationship to women is driven by more than that. Naive as that may be.

I'd like to believe that as well, but I don't think humanity in general is evolved enough. Meaning differentiating between physical attraction and genuine love.

Let's be realistic. For guys anound my age, generally, we are attracted by physical looks. I see that you are in your 30s, which is when most males' sex-drives are on the downslope and they start looking for companionship rather then just sex.

Perhaps I should rephrase that as "so-called sensitive new-age male who thinks they know what women want."

[hyuna]

I'd like to believe that as well, but I don't think humanity in general is evolved enough. Meaning differentiating between physical attraction and genuine love.
I'm not even really talking about romantic love. There is also the relationship of teacher and student, for example. I hate to think that what lies beneath my concern for the progress of some attractive female student is the hope for getting lucky one day. I wonder if college women suspect that if they get help from their professors or TAs that it is out of a sense of lust and not genuine concern for them. That would be depressing.


Let's be realistic. For guys anound my age, generally, we are attracted by physical looks. I see that you are in your 30s, which is when most males' sex-drives are on the downslope and they start looking for companionship rather then just sex.
The guy you were quoting wasn't differentiating based on age -- he was making a statement for all men and for all women.

My attitudes now are not so different than they were 10 or 15 years ago. Of course I feel sexual attraction, and I did when I was 21. And 15 for that matter. That is not the question. The question is if the only attraction you feel is sexual and there is no other way for you to relate to a woman.

But, the observation that we are far apart in age is a fair one. Maybe this is not something we can discuss in a straightforward way.


Perhaps I should rephrase that as "so-called sensitive new-age male who thinks they know what women want."
I am pretty insensitive, really. And, I still don't claim to know what women want. All this time I haven't been talking about what goes on in women's heads. I've only been talking about what goes on in men's heads.

[Wes Nazo]

I'm not even really talking about romantic love. There is also the relationship of teacher and student, for example. I hate to think that what lies beneath my concern for the progress of some attractive female student is the hope for getting lucky one day. I wonder if college women suspect that if they get help from their professors or TAs that it is out of a sense of lust and not genuine concern for them. That would be depressing.

My attitudes now are not so different than they were 10 or 15 years ago. Of course I feel sexual attraction, and I did when I was 21. And 15 for that matter. That is not the question. The question is if the only attraction you feel is sexual and there is no other way for you to relate to a woman.


You read too much into what I'm saying and you don't give good arguments. Most of us in this thread are not talking about professional, non-sexual relationships between opposite sexes of different ages. Although idealistic, you seem rather immature and naive for a 34 year old man.

[Wes Nazo]

Effects of Attractiveness on Helping Behavior

http://locutus.ucr.edu/~curt/class/12/abstracts95.html

Read the last paragraph in the right column.

It's human nature. People are more likely to help an attractive person of opposite-sex, even if they aren't likely to see that person again. Not only that, but they are more patient with that person.

[Sepiraph]

Ok, so after like 10 pages of nearly useless posts, have you ask her out yet?

[hyuna]

But, I'm not making any arguments. I am asking you a simple question, and rather than answering, you throw insults at me. I admitted in the beginning I might be misunderstanding you. However, rather than clarifying what you mean, again, all you do is to provide some non sequitors and be insulting. It's amusing, in a way.

But, I can see that you are not going to answer me, so I guess there is no point in addressing the other things you said...

[mingshi]

I guess that means that you have never been friends with any of your girlfriends? So, to you, all of your girlfriends, and all attractive women you have known and know now, are simply targets of sexual conquest? How interesting...... Good luck with that Oedipus complex...

...

Moreover, it is not just objectification of women by men, it is also the idea of my own sex being thought of as solely being motivated by sexual desire. I like to believe that I am--that all men are--slightly more complex than that, and that our relationship to women is driven by more than that.
"To deny your own impulses, is to deny the very thing that make us human."

Well, you are married and your female friends will (as in the Ladder theory) automatically arrange you on the LJBF ladder. You are harmless to be with. Also because you have someone high up on your own ladder, and unlikely to move anyone else on top of it, you can still make some female friends.

That's how women see you once they know you are unavaliable... (providing you are a really attractive [and maybe rich and nice] gentleman)

[cresentmoon]

hey guys i thought we are here to dicuss abt kendo..why are we talkin abt this sorta stuff?

[drizzt]

hey guys i thought we are here to dicuss abt kendo..why are we talkin abt this sorta stuff?

because this is the lounge.......its a forum for off-topic discussion thats well moderated. We have this one, wich is restricted in content(ie, no flaming no attacking, no ugliness(or as little as possible)), and Flames , were just about anything goes(no Overt amounts of swearing or personal threats...).

I know your new, so i dont mind answering your question, but i realy wish some of our more senior members would stop asking this same question over and over again in the flames section(and here).

[Wes Nazo]

My attitudes now are not so different than they were 10 or 15 years ago. Of course I feel sexual attraction, and I did when I was 21. And 15 for that matter. That is not the question. The question is if the only attraction you feel is sexual and there is no other way for you to relate to a woman.


I'm not sure exactly what your question was. You didn't even phrase it as a question. If you mean: "If the only attraction you feel is sexual, then is there no other way for you to relate to a woman?"

You seem to be making an incorrect asumption that I only feel sexual attraction to all women of all ages, related or not. Enough of the straw-man arguments. Of course I don't feel sexually attracted to ALL women. For example: I don't feel attracted to any of my female college professors. I don't feel attracted to any of the female models in my life drawing class. These are professional settings and one should act accordingly. Sometimes I make friends with girls I don't feel physically attracted to.

Have you never passed a pretty girl and thought, "hmm...she looks kinda fine?" If you don't, you're either homosexual, a robot, or extremely sexually repressed.

Like what mingshi just said: "To deny your own impulses, is to deny the very thing that make us human."

[stephanie dee]

Let's be realistic. For guys anound my age, generally, we are attracted by physical looks. I see that you are in your 30s, which is when most males' sex-drives are on the downslope and they start looking for companionship rather then just sex.

Man I can't wait to be that age! For guys to look at me and want a relationship instead of just staring at me lke perverts or something... wow! Then again... the downslope sex drive...... :( I look for personality rather than looks, however, there does have to be at least a little bit of sexual/physical attraction there


"To deny your own impulses, is to deny the very thing that make us human."

Possibly one of the best goddamn quotes i've ever heard!

[Commander]

I hate it when older guys in particular stare at you well glare. Gives me the creeps.

Sometimes i dont understand them why they cant stick to their own age group or above but no someone 15 years younger

[piggy]

Man I can't wait to be that age! For guys to look at me and want a relationship instead of just staring at me lke perverts or something... wow! Then again... the downslope sex drive...... :( I look for personality rather than looks, however, there does have to be at least a little bit of sexual/physical attraction there



Possibly one of the best goddamn quotes i've ever heard!


dont worry steph, as old as men may get and as bad as they may "function" with age, they will always want sex.

[piggy]

I hate it when older guys in particular stare at you well glare. Gives me the creeps.

Sometimes i dont understand them why they cant stick to their own age group or above but no someone 15 years younger


my cousin once told me "older women is the biggest mistake you can make. men date women much younger than them to feel alive. it gives the feeling of immortality"

[Commander]

my cousin once told me "older women is the biggest mistake you can make. men date women much younger than them to feel alive. it gives the feeling of immortality"

How young is young?

I know a few people who are going out with older men and its not good.
They act older than they really are and i think older men try to take advantage of them being immature.

I think the right wavelength is better.

[hyuna]

Hmm. I see, I was being too obtuse. Ok, I will lay it out more simply from the beginning. But first, I will reiterate, there is no strawman argument because there is no argument. No matter what you seem to think. So, from the beginning:

"Yes Virginia, They All Want to Bang You." - from Ladder Theory

Exactly.
The point of the page whose title you quote can be found in the following large bold italic phrase: "IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS". So, that seems to mean that you were, in fact, not friends with any of your girlfriends, as you presumably found your girlfriends attractive.Indeed, the implication is that the only reason you were with them was to get a little something out of them. Is that true? Moreover, it seems to suggest that you would find it impossible to have a "friendly" relationship with any woman that you might consider attractive, since you would (by the logic of that web page) be fundamentally driven by lust towards her. Is that how you really feel? Do you truly find it impossible to care for an attractive woman independent from sex?

The point about coworkers is simply that a professional relationship is simply another kind of relationship. If you cannot be friends with a woman because of sexual attraction, why can you be close coworkers? I spend a lot more time and work in closer quarters with coworkers than with most friends. There is a trust relationship between teacher and student that can be quite intimate (though hopefully not sexually). If your sexual attraction to a woman makes it impossible to be a friend, does it interfere with your professional relationships with them? If not, how are these relationships different such that you can control your lust when talking to a coworker and not a friend?

These are not arguments. They are questions. I do not agree with the web page; as I said before, I look at it as a sort of cynical parody, and I do not feel that sexual attraction interferes with my ability to be a friend to attractive women. Therefore, I also do not think it interferes with my ability to work with attractive women, or relate to them in any way whatsoever. And, before you mention it again, I do not believe that it is significantly different from me now than when I was even a teenager. Maybe it interferers with your ability, but that is why I am asking.




"To deny your own impulses, is to deny the very thing that make us human."
Do you really think so? Does that mean that the ultimate expression of our humanity is simply to kill those who enrage us and simply to take that (and those) that we desire? Certainly people have desires. But I do believe that there is some difference between self-control and "denial." In this case, the question is not whether or not one feels sexual attraction -- the question is if the presence of sexual attraction makes it impossible (for a man) to relate to a person as anything other than a sexual object.


Well, you are married and your female friends will (as in the Ladder theory) automatically arrange you on the LJBF ladder.
The amount of marital infidelity that occurs in America seems to suggest that it is not such an automatic arrangement...

Do you agree with this Ladder Theory, mingshi?!

If someone actually does see it as anything other than a joke, I would like to know what you think of the following, which occurs a bit later in the site, under the 'consequences' section, keeping in mind the assertion that men have only 1 ladder and it is defined by sexual attractiveness:

"Convieniently, the ladder theory answers the oft asked question, "What is the purpose of life?" The purpose of life is to move up the ladder. The person you are with now should be better (higher on your ladder) than the person you were last with."

[piggy]

How young is young?

I know a few people who are going out with older men and its not good.
They act older than they really are and i think older men try to take advantage of them being immature.

I think the right wavelength is better.


my lover is 1 year younger than i
my dads wife is 3 years younger than him
my grandfathers wife is 1 year younger.

i think those age differences are appropriate dont you?

[Charuzu]

Actually, I can't see any good in that statement. But, hey, there are like 3 billion women on the planet, no?

Hank.

Ugg.... Because I wouldn't let my sister use my laptop for the day she has decided to talk c**p about me. Well it seems that my sister pretty much ruined my chances. She is also calling my friends and harassing them. If I try to stop her she threats to "beat me up". While I feel that that is not the case I see no sence in violence.
I have also tried talking to her girlfriend but she hates being the 'middle man' (And with good reason too).

Ugg, Hank was right. >o<

PS - That "Ladder Theory" was a very intresting read. But I have a question about that. It said that spople are only friends with the other sex becuse.... well... you know. But what about thoses who are gay or Bi? Also, what is everyone is sexualy active? I find it hard to believe that people would stop being friends. Just my opinion.

[mingshi]

The amount of marital infidelity that occurs in America seems to suggest that it is not such an automatic arrangement...
Forget what I said, here's the official answer:
On Marriage (http://www.intellectualwhores.com/onmarriage.html)

Still, you can try to be friends with the ones not taken?

This Theory is much like any other theory (Evolution?) - my argument has nothing to do with whether I believe it or not.

[piggy]

But what about thoses who are gay or Bi?


do you think that they are not active with thier lovers? same rules appy

[Wes Nazo]

Man I can't wait to be that age! For guys to look at me and want a relationship instead of just staring at me lke perverts or something... wow! Then again... the downslope sex drive...... :( I look for personality rather than looks, however, there does have to be at least a little bit of sexual/physical attraction there



Possibly one of the best goddamn quotes i've ever heard!

Typically, for most females that age, the sex drive begins to kick into high gear. This might have to do with the "biological clock" ticking away.

As for hyuna, I'm really tired of talking to you. All I have left to say to you is this: Don't forget, dispite the progress of humanity, we are still animals with lingering animalistic urges. And also "methinks thou protest too much..."

[Commander]

my lover is 1 year younger than i
my dads wife is 3 years younger than him
my grandfathers wife is 1 year younger.

i think those age differences are appropriate dont you?

Theres nothing wrong with that, i was talking about major age gaps that people would frown upon

[Anjin-san]

Sorry for the thread-jacking charuzu.

Dude, your sister can say anything she wants to anyone and it won't make a difference to your chances with this girl. You've stalled out man, I suggest you let this one die and move on. Obviously if she escalates even a bit then go for it.

This Ladder theory thing is pretty nasty. While I agree that we're all fed BS by romcoms and stuff, the way this guy writes comes accross as bitter.

[ninjamster15]

threaten to beat her over the head with your shiina? just kidding. i'm probably just as clueless as you are....if not more so...

[ninjamster15]

seriously, though, take some time to get to know her. Your both in the same kendo class right? go compliment on how shes doing. try to at least make friends with her before trying to go out with her.

[Hai_hai]

BUZZ. I'm watching you ninjamster15. Don't be giving advice when you can't live it.