Gift from sensei

[Shoki]

My father passed away recently. On the day that he died I had contacted one of the sempi to let them know I would not be at practice that night. The dojo very kindly sent flowers and when I came back to practice I was informed that on the night that I was away, at the end of practice, sensei asked in which direction I lived and then had all the members bow in that general direction. That was quite touching and at the end of practice I stood, thanked them all and returned the bow. After practice was over, sensei approached me and asked me to try on his do. It fit and he said I should use it for a while. Sensei is Japanese and very traditional. What I need to know, is this a gift in remembrance of my father? Is there something I should do to thank him? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Charlie]

Wow! I've never heard of this. I hope someone in the know can give some answers.

[KhawMengLee]

Condolences for the loss.

Sincerely,
KHAW MENG LEE

[Charlie]

Oops!

Thanks, KhawMengLee, for pointint that out.

My sympathies, Shoki!

[Shoki]

Thank you, I appreciate your kind words.

[ben]

My condolences Shoki. Reading you post I was touched by the actions of your sensei and your dojo. It must be a great support for you in this difficult time to be friends with such people.

b

[kendomushi]

First off, my sympathies. I know that such a loss leaves an emptiness in part of our hearts that is never quite filled. But if you hold beliefs in some kind of heaven or paradise I hope you take some comfort in believing he is happy there and waiting to be reunited with you some day in the far future.

Its not unusual for sensei to make a gift of bogu. However I have never heard of it done in exactly this kind of circumstance. I would recommend getting a gift of some sort for sensei and after class presenting him the gift in private along with trying to return the do, and commenting on your enjoyment at using it, its quality, etc. If sensei really means it as a gift, he will insist that you keep using it. And then he is also free to accept the gift you bring him, though you may have to insist a little that he take it. Again, do this in private if at all possible. Then neither yor or sensei will risk feeling any embarassment if there is a misunderstanding. Try to make the gift something of interest and importance as opposed to a bottle of whiskey or such.

In Japan, when the breadwinner or head of a family dies, as in your father, it is very normal for gifts of money and food to be given. This was to help the family make it through the hard times to come. The fact that you are an adult has nothing to do with it, your father was still the head of your family. In kendo specifically, when a sensei dies, it is not unusual for the remaining family to make a gift of his bogu to a good friend or favorite student.

Hope this helps, and again my sympathies.

[qpuppy]

My deep condolences to you, Shoki.

I fully agree with Ben. It's great to have such support in this difficult time from friends, especially if from your sensei and fellow members. The actions of your sensei greatly touch me and I wish you all the best in the future. And maybe follow the footsteps of your father to be such a respected man.

Alvin

[Shoki]

The illness that took my father was long and slow about its business. The management of the stress created by caring for him and my mother was the reason for me starting in Kendo, or so I had hoped. Unfortunately to this day I’m still admonished by sensei to relax my shoulders, don’t be stiff, relax…..

What I did find in Kendo where things that I did not expect. I have a deeper understanding and respect for the Japanese and their culture. I find joy in the frustration and discovery of each new achievement (however small). Most importantly I found a group of people, my dojo, and a community at large, Kendo, that live up to their ideals; be caring, kind and honorable. To step through the door of the dojo truly, if only for a little while puts me in a different time and place where I can forget about life for a while.

I thank you all for your kind words and support. My father was a good and gentle man, who went out of his way to help others. He never stopped trying to learn or grow as a human being, a true Kendoka at heart. Something I will try to continue.

Paul Stratter

[Kendoka]

Hi Shoki my condolences also.

The best thing that you can do to repay your sensei, is train realy well and often. Be a great student.

Whether the bogu is a gift or a loan will become apparent to you at the appropriate time, until then enjoy the support and freindship that he obviuosly feels for you.

[KATSUJIN]

My condolences to you as well Shoki.....and yes...follow wat kendoka said...train harder...

[Raígma]

Also my condolences.
I hope that Kendo helps you to find your path though....

[Luis Trabuco]

My deep condolences to you, Paul. I sympathize with the deep sorrow your family is experiencing.
There is nothing I can say to ease your sorrow, but please do take good care of yourselves.
I sincerely hope that he has great happiness in the next life.

Luis Trabuco