Frustrated about kendo

[Sebrendita]

I'm a newly registered member here, but I've been reading this forum for a while. Many of you have given me the answers I needed on a couple of issues, so I'm hoping someone can help me with this BIG issue I have.

I have been practicing kendo for seven months. At first I really loved it and went to every practice. As time has gone on, though, long hours at work and my own inherent laziness have prevented me from making it to as many practices as before. I have not progressed as I should have for these reasons. I belong to a small kendo club and I am one of only two people (out of ten to fifteen) in the club who has not yet been asked to purchase bogu. I am starting to feel like the odd man out. Other kendoka that started at the same time I did (and also missed several practices) have their bogu now and it makes me feel unskilled and stupid. I also get the distinct impression that my sensei doesn't like me and doesn't think I should be in the class. I do not know why he doesn't like me (if indeed that is the case), but I think the reason he may feel that I shouldn't be in the class is because of my absences and also because I am overweight. I push myself very hard in class so that I can keep up with the other kendoka as well as possible, but it is very difficult and sometimes I have to step out and catch my breath.

I am having a lot of doubts about whether I can actually do this. This is very unlike me. If there is something I want to do, I push through those doubts and eventually find a way to make it happen. Kendo, however, is new and uncharted territory. I find myself trying to make excuses for not going to practice, then I feel really guilty if I don't go. If I make myself go, I'm always glad that I did, but that feeling never lasts. I like kendo very much. I like every aspect of it: the swordplay, the etiquette, the mental quiet that comes over me during practice. I know this is the right thing for me, but my lack of self-discipline seems like such an insurmountable hurdle. Then again there is the issue of my weight and how it affects my practice. I've wondered if the reason my sensei has not yet asked me to purchase bogu is because he thinks I can't tackle the physical stress that comes with kirikaeshi or keiko. I wonder this myself. I am constantly asking myself if I have the stamina and the discipline it takes to stick with kendo. I know, too, that if I quit kendo, I will regret it for the rest of my life. It's one of those things I HAVE to do to be happy with myself. Unfortunately, right now I am VERY unhappy and I am filled with doubt about the whole thing.

I know that coming to terms with these sorts of fears and doubts about one's self is part of training, but I am having a very difficult time with it. It's keeping me up at night and keeping me down during the day. If anyone could offer any helpful words of advice or encouragement, or a similar story just to let me know I am not alone in my experience, that would be great. I don't have any intentions at the moment of seriously quitting kendo, but I am having a lot of trouble and it would be wonderful to hear everyone's thoughts on how to get through it and stick with it.

[KhawMengLee]

When you realize your fears and make the stand to conquer them, that is true courage.

[Old Warrior]

How about asking in a polite way why you are still not in bogu. Then there will be no guessing and you will know why. If you don't get an answer or receive one that justifies the belief that you are not liked - move to a new club.

[Sebrendita]

I am actually working up the courage to speak with my sensei about the problems I'm having. My issue with the bogu is one I will try to address with him. I have to work through this, though, as there are no other kendo clubs anywhere near where I live. In fact, our kendo club is the only one within a 250 mile radius, so I'm in this kendo club or no kendo club at all. Thanks so far for the helpful words.

[Phlebas]

I once read a thread here on the KW forums on this topic, and someone (can't remember who) wrote something and I thought he or she hit the nail on the head. Something like: "Kendo can be summed up in three words: Don't. Give. Up."

This struck me as quite profound, because not only so those words help you at the start of your Kendo career, but it is also probably one of the most important lessons Kendo will ever teach you. Ask a high-ranking kendoka what are the most important lessons Kendo has taught him or her, and I would be amazed if it wasn't mentioned high on the list. Even if you never make it into bogu you will still know that YOU DIDN"T GIVE UP. You will make it into bogu someday if you persevere.

I was out of shape when I started Kendo (for the second time) in my thirties and I know how much it bothered me. Take the physical conditioning aspect of Kendo seriously, and stick with it. It's a fight worth winning.

Good luck!

[smith]

It is unfortunate that your sensei is not more supportive. However don't waste too much time trying to guess what he thinks about you. Just get to training when you can and don't berate yourself when you don't. I gave up kendo for a number of years, and I regret that lost time. I GUARANTEE the day you finally give up worrying about whether you'll ever wear armour is the day your sensei will ask you to buy it.

Ganbatte ne!

[angryshinai]

Im new to kendo and have only been training for 2-3 months. I had 2 years away from martial arts and doing regular exercise. I put on 23 kgs. Anyway early last year i made the decision to get myself fit again. Ive been going to the gym, being active and eating properly. I feel great and love my life.

I doubt that your sensei doesnt like you, it may just be your attitude towards kendo. You have to WANT to be there. Not just turn up when you feel like it. I have to drive about an hour each way to get to kendo. But i love it so its not an issue.

I would try to drop some weight and work on your cardio fitness. Mabie do 2 nights @ the gym on top of "regular" kendo training. And on the weekends try and do something active. Have a good look @ your diet. Mabie talk to your doctor about loosing weight.

Sounds like you know what the problems are. Be proactive and do something about it.

Best of luck.....

[KATSUJIN]

Yes....the above advice will do you good Sebrendita. U have to look forward to every training......u will then begin to enjoy it and start putting in ur full effort and and start picking up again...so don't worry abt such things...just go ahead and enjoy urself in training....

[Neil Gendzwill]

There's probably two things happening: one is that you aren't showing up to class enough and two is that you may not have the skills your sensei is looking for. The two things are not unrelated :).

However even if you do have the skills your sensei may be looking for more commitment from you. If your general fitness is proving a handicap, I suggest cross-training. Find something cardio-y that you like to do, and do that. I like stair machines myself, I think they're a good fit for kendo.

[kendomushi]

Don't give up is the key. If you want to do kendo strongly enough, you will eventually get through the doubt and develop real skill. Each of us progresses at our own pace. This is affected by general fitness, amount of practice, inate ability, skill of the instructor to instruct, and our ability to comprehend what the instructor is trying to impart to us.
You might try approaching sensei by telling him that you feel you are lagging behind the others in development and ask him what you can do to catch up. This way you are simply asking sensei for help and have no chance of insulting him or putting him on the spot.
I'm no bean pole myself. I'm 187cm tall, and weigh 125kg. I really should weigh no more than 100kg. The weight does make things harder at times, but keep working at it and you will overcome any and all difficulties in time. And if your weight bothers you, if you feel the only way you can improve in kendo is to shed some of it, then you are the only one who can do anything about it. But you never will until you are ready to do it.
I hope you stick with the kendo, work hard, and see things improve soon. Good luck.

[alexpollijr]

Excess body fat is a key factor in kendo I believe.
Most beginners down here who join the club with obesity end up quitting because they can't stand the rigorous training.

This is NOT to say, however, that fat (slightly or overtly fat) people can't practice kendo. The thing is that, if you your commitment is strong enough, you'll change your whole lifestyle for kendo. I used to drink a lot, smoke, eat loads of fat and never went to do anything physical except kendo some years ago. Now I still drink a lot but have wiped out the other un-healthy habits, and all is (very) well.

So, suck it in and live it out. Commit fully, not only bringing your body to the dojo.

PS. I think asking your sensei why you're not in bougu is a bad idea.

[Marine_Boy]

Like most of the other posts here have said; stick with it!

Bogu is nice to have, but I feel that it must be earned through dedication to training, other kendoka and to the dojo.

At this moment, I can't really comment on the fittness issue as I am capable of handling the training. But if you can't find time to train in the dojo, do it outside;and if you feel that your sensei is not paying enough attention to you, then get his attention with your hard work and zeal to practice. If he sets you a training task to do, do it with 110% and don't stop until he asks you to.

Fittness comes with time, no matter the body shape or size, you just have to find your level and work on it. Don't work on someone else's level as it can be difficult, rather work to it.

A few years back I had been out of any form of training for a couple of years (student life took over), and when I came to get fitter again, it had taken me almost 4 months to regain an acceptable level.

One way to help your worries about training could be to spend some time meditating (zazen). You could even do this before the practice to concentrate your mind!

Hope I haven't rambled on for too much but I just like sticking my nose into other peoples issues!:)

Stan

[nodachi]

If you are afraid that you have not been asked to go to bogu because of you fitness, then make a resolution! Force yourself to train more at home, do more suburi, do cross training like some people here said. Continue to work hard at practice and show a strong spirit and heart at practice. Go at everything with everything you have. Then your sensei will be forced to notice a improvement and see how you are trying and it will make a difference.

Ihad a similar problem with a coach when I was growing up and this solved it. It won't fix it instantly, but after some time the sensei will say wow, this person is really working hard.

[sminki]

Yes. Kendo is very difficult. And to me, it seems to get more difficult as I train longer and longer.

But this is something I have come to realize lately. It has to be fun. Just like you, I had so much fun with kendo and sort of lost it as I tried harder and harder to get better. I think that this is true on a relative level for everybody. One always thinks that he/she should be better than he/she actually is. And it is this sense of entitlement and resulting frustration which will be a big source of agony. Recently, I have decided that I will accept my kendo for what it is, and rather than seeking to get better overnight, I decided to work on it on a long-term basis. While doing so, I have decided to go back to the mind of a complete beginner and have fun learning again.

I don't know if my words necessarily suit your situation. My point is that everyone has these feelings and frustration of shortcomings. But as soon as you start to be more humble, diligent and proactive about it, things change for the better. It may not be that your sensei doesn't like you. I think it is important for you to get a better feeling for his thoughts. Ask himi what you're doing wrong. Ask him how you can get better. Ask him what he thinks you're lacking. As soon as you become more proactive (if you're not doing so already) he'll change his communication with you as well. And if he doesn't, you'll know for sure that he's biased against you for some inexplicable reason.

I have heard that Miyazaki Masahiro, the six-time All Japan Kendo Champion himself, failed shodan (or nidan) test four times. Remember that and work hard. Oh, don't forget to HAVE FUN. Hope things work out for ya.

[Stan]

Recently in Toronto a Sensei pulled me aside and asked me how I thouhgt a match went. I told him it went kinda badly and he agreed. He told me that our toughest opponent is ourself. I agree and so do most people on this board (judging from the responses). Just remeber...Kendo is not a destination its a journey. Enjoy the journey!

[Chusan]

@sebrendita:
(Hope you`re still around...)
I do know very exactly what your feelings are. I have to fight with similar problems just these weeks. Though I`ve been practising for some 20 years, there are always those ´dark times` when nothing really works, everything seems to be more interesting and more fun than going to the dojo.
Every single Kendojin knows these feelings. And it is very normal, getting confronted with that soon, just after some weeks or months of training. If one gets confronted with it as a ´veteran player`one is used to it and ignores it. That`s what I`m doing. Though I hate Kendo just now, I yet go and practise.
Being a beginner -you are- has different probs. These things are new, that confrontation of interest and no-interest is something you are not used to.
Now this is a crucial point: this is exactly that one special moment when you (and only YOU! , not your sensei, not your comrades) must decide which way to go. Continuing with Kendo and thus becoming a winner or quitting and becoming (staying?) a loser.
It`s up to you.
Seems as if your sensei has noticed that.

[JSchmidt]

"Continuing with Kendo and thus becoming a winner or quitting and becoming (staying?) a loser."

Huh?..so quitting kendo makes you a loser?. Why?

Jakob

[Karaken]

Kendo, Golf, Life all DDF..

Desire : We want to be happy so we do have desire. Do you love Kendo? If yes, what would you do, how much would you sacrifice for aomething you love?

Discipline: This is necessary for when thing get rough. Can you get up early to play Golf ( 3 a.m. for Bethpage Black ). Can you wear your bogu when it's 100 degrees in your dojo. Can you do 100 suburi everyday when you're tired and busy? Believe or not, this separates winners from losers. Whoever says I could have been - lacks this quality.

Focus : When you practice, how focused are you? If you went thru so much to get to your dojo on Hot Summer day, why you're slacking off when youd do Geiko, just because you're out of breadth? Can you concentrate for 2 minutes to give everything you got? Can you execute for the moment and go one more Uchikomi when your body screams "No more"?
Focus separates winners from the stars.

Now this can be all bullshit but the point is everyone loves something but not everyone is ready to pay for what they want. Life is no free bee. You get what you paid for.

So, don't worry about bogu or how fast you can get shodan. Worry about how much you love Kendo, how much you are ready to pay for it... Then when you get there - give it all you got.

Nothing hurts me more to see people come to dojo despite all the difficulties then slacking off....

Center - only the Center

[stk]

Karaken, good post :D

[JSchmidt]

Nice...sign me up for the losers column..do I have to quit now?.
You happily seem to forget that a lot people do kendo as a hobby and not as a life-style.

Jakob

[Raígma]

Don´t worry about the issue of weigth.
There is nothing like an "overweigth". There is just you.
Some people at my dojo are too not as thin as the doctor says
they should be, but they keep doing kendo and they are better
than some of the muscular guys. It´s no question of fitness
just of technique. Keep practicing.
Maybe you lose some weigth by this anyway.

Like it has been said before... if you want to lose weigth...
do so. Don´t try it. Do it.

Good will.......no luck.

[berghaan]

I just read this thread and feel I have to post my opinion.

I have to agree with kendomushi's post, if you are having problems ask for help. Show that you are willing to work for solving these things. You cant always do everything on your own.

Everybody who is trying to improve him/herself will find there are difficult times sometimes and like Karaken posted these times are what makes some people different from others. Not everybody is willing to sacrifice the same for results, and not everybody will have the same kind of trouble reaching these results.

But then again not everybody has the wish to become champion or so.

Everybody has to think and decide what they want in life and what they are willing to do to reach that goal. When you have decided really go for it, but dont be afraid to ask for help when needed.

- Mark Berghaan

[Ben F.]

We have an expression at my aikido dojo that we say all the time and that is "Osu." We use it as a general all purpose salutation, when we bow etc.

The meaning of it is "to push through" which I think is what we all need to do from time to time. Push through the temptation to sit on the couch instead of training. Push through that last session of suburi when your mind is telling you to quit. We all battle this is one way or another probably every time you train. As others have said, don't let your anxiety over your sensei or bogu or whatever interfere with your training.

Nike did have it right: Just do it.

Hang in there!

[Ben F.]

We have an expression at my aikido dojo that we say all the time and that is "Osu." We use it as a general all purpose salutation, when we bow etc.

The meaning of it is "to push through" which I think is what we all need to do from time to time. Push through the temptation to sit on the couch instead of training. Push through that last session of suburi when your mind is telling you to quit. We all battle this is one way or another probably every time you train. As others have said, don't let your anxiety over your sensei or bogu or whatever interfere with your training.

Nike did have it right: Just do it.

Hang in there!

[Sebrendita]

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. It never ceases to amaze me how many cool people there are out there. Everyone's advice and help was and is very much appreciated. I'm still struggling mentally, but I had a good practice the other day and felt better about everything afterwards. I'm gonna hang in with this kendo thing and see where it takes me. Thanks again to everyone who has posted words of encouragement so far.

[munenmuso]

Don't let your kendo bother you. It is you who should bother your kendo. It is also a mental game, remember? Part and parcel of it is the mental and the emotional side of it. You should learn how to overcome it and those physical shortcomings must never debilitate your over all outlook about kendo. There was even this thread about a kendoka who doesn't have legs, he lost both legs but he still can kick ass! Not everyone is given the chance to learn kendo so take all the opportunity. If you have to learn it the hard way, then take it and never hesitate. It's also part of your training and prove to them that you are also worthy compared to the next kendoka besides you.

[Ryukyu]

Sebrendita,

I too am a beginner, and have had days when I just felt lousy, but after i forced myself to go to the dojo, I always felt better and was happy for having done so.
Hang in there!!

[Karaken]

Liam - Thanks

JS - No, you shouldn't quit. I started Kendo as a replacement for a boring health club myself. Of course you can have Kendo as a hobby. At the same time, if you do, don't expect to win AJKF :-)

That's my point.. If you want to win Lotto, buy the tkt first.
It doesn't guarantee anything but at least you have a chance.
If you didn't pay for a lotto tkt, don't whine for not winning one.

People with Desire and nothing else : Miserable dreamers - usually very nice people with very little achievement. Nothing wrong if you're still happy. But other peopl around them are normally not happy with these bunch

People w Desire and Discipline : May or may not be successful but no regerets. People never accuse these for lack of trying. Sometimes that's all you can do. Happy bunch though.

People w Desire, Discipline and Focus : Stars! or "Being the best one can be " even though sometimes that may not be much.
But you're happy doing what you want and go as far as you can.

People w No Desire but Discipline : Hard working and maybe successful too but miserable people : I should have been a Musician ( Well you're an accountant - A darn good one ) kind of..

People w No Desire, No discipline but with Focus : Cheaters, overachievers at times, Miracle workers by accident, One-timers.
Maybe be Brilliant sometime but don't last long. Very result oriented with no apparent purpose for anything..

DDF - does it make sense?

Enough! - back to Center - Chudan no WHAT???

[JSchmidt]

Kendo is certainly far more than a hobby for me, what I disagree with is the term 'loser'. I find it arrogant and narrowminded.
Some people got more in life than their kendo and some people got different things in mind with their kendo other than winning.

Jakob

[KATSUJIN]

oh well.....different people got different views and ideas JS. It is like wat others say....one man's poison is another man's meat....so just take it easy....

[Tato]

Karaken, your taxonomy of people... motivation? is interesting, you can even use it for general life management, I have a similiar one explained to me on my university days for human resources management.

Sebrendita, it's very difficult for me to give you an advice, I discovered time ago that kendo suited me better than any other physical activity, to a point in wich I didn't mind if I'm good or not, I just try to learn, and the result is good for me.

I believe that kendo can do much for you, whatever your circumstances are, but you must agree with yourself on what you're looking for.

Achievements may not be important, but the journey certainly is. At the end, it's the journey that will make your life richer. Keep on training, take the time you need to progress, it's your own journey.

Rei

[Confound]

The teacher who spoke to Stan is exactly right: When you put on your bogu, the hardest opponent you will ever have to fight is yourself.

If you lack confidence, or have doubts about yourself, they will become magnified when you practice. Kendou is supposedly about polishing the soul, unfortunately, when you polish something, the bad bits come out before the good. Think of it as the same process as sharpening a chisel, or a plane. That is to say, imperfections rise quickly to the surface, but if you carefully continue to sharpen the blade, you can minimize its flaws. Some of them will never disappear, but a few can be gotten rid of completely.

Sometimes it may seem as though it's hard enough to struggle with your own demons, and that it's too much to ask to deal with the person who is trying to hit you on the head as well. On some occasions, it may be all that you can do to stand still and be hit, let alone doing something about it. There will most certainly be times when you want to quit, since you are human after all.

There is another side to all of this. As you continue to work hard, these discouraging incidents will happen less often, and you will be able to recover from them faster. Of course, that isn't to say that there won't be times when everything in the entire universe will look like it just fell out of the wrong end of a skunk, but that's not kendou alone.

Try to think of kendou as an investment with an infinite horizon. It may never come to term, but the dividends that you reap along the way will more than compensate you for the effort you make, emphasis on 'effort YOU make'.

c

[Confound]

On an entirely seperate note: maybe your teacher is just a reserved person. Don't ask why you're not in bogu, work hard to make your teacher notice that he or she should have confidence in you.

c

(such a pleasant post. i feel like the old lady with innumerable cats who hands out cookies to the neighbourhood kids. what next? will i start championing the cause of starving kids in North Korea? not enough acid in my diet lately.)

[angryshinai]

Originally posted by JSchmidt
Kendo is certainly far more than a hobby for me, what I disagree with is the term 'loser'. I find it arrogant and narrowminded.
Some people got more in life than their kendo and some people got different things in mind with their kendo other than winning.

Jakob

Yeah i certainly agree with you there. Another thing i wanted to add was that in order to better oneself you should always try and remain humble...

[Karaken]

Jacob & AS, it's a figure of speech. But when I said Loser I meant it. To me, kendo as a hobby is a good thing. Also, if you're content being a hobby kendoka, that's OK too. But if you're whining about why I can't be yudansha whthin a year while attending dojo once a month is like asking for lotto winning without buying a ticket. To have a chance, one should at least put up some time and effort, then ask why I'm not progressing as fast as other guys.

See my point? I don't have any problem with people enjoying life without sweating. I only pick on someone ( a.k.a Loser ) when they want something they don't deserve.

Center has no loser..

[smith]

Sebrendita, please keep us all posted as to how you're progressing.

IMHO defining people into "winners" and "losers" is a self-limiting activity. The people we admire when we're in our twenties are rarely the people we still admire when we're in our fifties. Thankfully the desire to view the world in B&W dissolves and rather than the expected grey we are able to see many different colours.

[Chusan]

Originally posted by smith
IMHO defining people into "winners" and "losers" is a self-limiting activity.
Speaking of Kendo (which we are doing) I disagree.
Winner= s.o. who is practising Kendo
Loser= s.o. who surrenders and stops practising Kendo.
That`s it.
Not my idea, talking about winning in matches, as some guys did misunderstand.
If s.o. keeps on doing Kendo even in spite of having problems, he surely is a winner.

[munenmuso]

Winners are those who learn and strive and losers are those who never learn and surrender easily.

[smith]

Gee, it's amazing how tenacious this binary thinking is.

[JSchmidt]

I agree entirely, Smith.

Jakob

[Confound]

The reason I like kendou is because it is more than winning and losing. The important part about kendou is self-improvement, whether that be better waza, greater speed, or becoming a better person. If you think of kendou in terms of winning and losing, it would seem that you are the one who loses in the end, because you've missed the point of the art entirely.

c

[Chusan]

@confound:
totally agreed.
Here`s one story about that: when she was yet a NooB, my wife had a shiai during a local tournament ( don`t know anymore, which one it was), which she lost at the tenth or so encho. Her oppponent was constantly blocking and in no way active but in the end made something like a kote-strike which scored.
That was one of the many fights my wife lost. But: her opponent from then has quitted Kendo long ago and my wife is going for 4th Dan these days. So who did win and who did lose? It`s obvious, I guess.
Sorry that I brought up the words winner and loser, since they have the tendency to be misunderstood.
One can actually ´win ` by doing Kendo, but this is winning on a personal level. Whether you win or lose during a match isn`t that important, I think.

[JSchmidt]

" So who did win and who did lose? It`s obvious, I guess."

But do you know the other person?..Do you know what else he/she do in life? To classify people purely on the basis whether they do kendo or not, is extremly narrowminded.

Jakob

[Karaken]

JS, I don't mean to pick on you because I understand where you're coming from. But then how do you define a"Loser" in general terms ( Not as a loser of the tourny )? Unless of course you say there are no "Losers".

Center has no loser.

[JSchmidt]

A loser is someone who never even tries. (And I'm referring to life in general).

Jakob

[Steve]

I agree with Stan. Kendo is something you can practice for the REST OF YOUR LIFE and you will never ....NEVER master it. But, you will get better. It takes determination and quite literally some old fashioned blood, sweat, and tears. Keep at it, and don't let yourself get discouraged. It doesn't matter how fast or how good you think others are, focus on your own growth... physically and mentally.

Most importantly, have fun and enjoy yourself.

[Karaken]

Originally posted by JSchmidt
A loser is someone who never even tries. (And I'm referring to life in general).

Jakob

My point exactly but adding " A loser is someone who never even tries but still wants the reward "

Center is reward

[Confound]

I wouldn't call that kind of person a loser, Karaken, I'd call them delusional, and whiny.

c

[kendokamax]

a loser is just someone who loses

[angryshinai]

Hey Sebrendita, how is it all going for you ?

[Confound]

Poor Sebrendita did seem to get lost in all the philosophizing, didn't she? Do give us an update.

c

[Sebrendita]

Thanks to everyone for posting so many good replies. I've taken a deep breath and resolved to go to every Kendo practice that I can (and not to beat myself up if I miss). I'm trying very hard to have no expectations, to just go there and do the best I can (sometimes I don't quite make it, but I'm trying) and not worry about the bogu or my sensei's personal feelings. I needed to remind myself why I started kendo in the first place: to improve myself mentally, physically and even spiritually. I can't do that if I'm overanalyzing during practice. So, for right now, I am going to practice, I am doing my best and whatever comes, comes. A year ago, I didn't know how to swing a shinai and now I do. A year ago, I couldn't have told you what on earth bogu, tsuba, keiko, kirikaeshi, or fumikomiashi meant and now I can. So I have improved myself A LOT and I needed reminding that worrying about petty crap like I was is useless and beside the point. The bogu will come if I work hard and show that I deserve it, which I plan on doing. Again, thanks, everybody, for giving me such good advice. All of it was a kick in the pants that I needed.

[sminki]

sebrendita,

we all applaud your decision and wish you the best in your training. try to keep an open dialogue with your sensei about what you could do better, etc. and if you need any more "kick in the pants" or support, don't forget this forum.

[Raígma]

Ja.... very impressing. I'm not long in my dojo but I've seen many faces coming and going.
The decision to keep up the effort and go to training is half the way ( though it does never end). I heard many old senseis say that the only thing that prevents them from doing kendo is that they are sometimes too "comfortable or lazy" to go there.

You will be much more proud of wearing the bougu and you will put much more endeavour in the jigeiko or whatever you do in bogu then. Because then you earned it. With your sweat, blood and maybe even your tears. I can't say if I really earned the mine.
I wear it since a month or a bit longer now. I had to get the money for it myself (delivering papers in the winter... yay -_-)
and I saw many other getting their bougu who boarded the dojo
long after me. It ached and it was unfair in my opinion. Then I had to wait even longer because it had to come from Korea (not from England as it was supposed to).
But I was ueberhappy when I got it back then.

Now I think I can compete with the guys who got their bogu earlier and others that don't come as regularly as I do beacuse my basics are better..... well.. maybe.

Even when you wear bogu then, don't lean back. I still have the feeling that I am not worthy to wear it when I don't put my effort in training. There are days which aren't good and days when you just can't get enough. And don't think that you are not born to do kendo just because of some hours with no process. When you are so far, the process comes like a jump. Suddenly you are able to do it. Then improve it and go for the next. Those bad times are a part of the "do". You will be rewarded for your effort. Maybe with kendo gifts or some in real life.
No matter what. Keep going.
Kendo can be something to hold on to. Even if life sucks.
Hence, no matter what. Keep going.


Wow, sounds nice what I've written.
Now I just have to do it myself.
O_o Oroo!