Mental Illness and Swordsmanship

[Red Oak Pony]

I think mental illness in swordsmanship is a topic that is well earned and should be addressed in a forum such as this.

I am mentally ill, I am a sword student. To all sword students out there, I hope this thread is informative and supportive and builds confidence to our desire to train in the art.

I am willing to answer sincere questions about mental illness and it's relationship to swordsmanship. I find swordsmanship (and my doctors find swordsmanship) beneficial to help keep this disability under control. I practice and train because I love it. Just like the rest of us.

Feel free to make comments, experiences, and opinions, that's what a forum's for too. But my apologies, I will only respond to questions a couple of times a day until this thread's curiosity is answered. Answering questions is easier for me.

There has to be questions. Lots of them because the person you are training with may be mentally ill and be and look 'normal'. Then there are people who may be normal and act insane how do you tell the difference? 3% of the population is according to NAMI (US based National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). Odds are, you know one of us in your routine life.

Sincerely,
Danette
Age 36
Location Twin Cities Metro Area
Time in swordsmanship: 3 years and counting
Training: Kenjitsu and Iaido
Age of psychosis: 33 years
Hospitalization psych ward stay: 14 days
Diagnosis: Bipolar disorder with psychotic tendancy

[Shazzanzzz]

So do you feel any disadvantages doing kendo? Or mayb advantages?

[ScottUK]

I find swordsmanship (and my doctors find swordsmanship) beneficial to help keep this disability under control.Discuss.

What is it that helps? The physical action of the arts in question or the mental discipline?

[Red Oak Pony]

I can only reply to this as my own experience. Everyone with mental illness is different except for basic symptoms. Personality plays a large roll in the difference.

I have never practiced Kendo.

I have practiced with bokken sparing with full kendo armor.

My disadvantages, I consider my advantage.

All the sword practices I have experienced and read require stillness/calmness of mind. And awareness of everything. A mentally ill person does not inheritly have this stillness and is at a disadvantage.

The advantage of this to me is I am aware of stillness of mind and the fluff of emotions. I am able to call them out and know my limitations.

Otherwise, besides medication side effects. (Ugh don't get my started on that) It's the usual coordination, reflex, and memorization issues any student would have. The advantage in this is one finds and strengthens thier will.

The only thing a mentally ill person (in my opinion) has control over is will. Will's a lot like a muscle, you don't use it, you lose it. And why I feel practing swordmanship is so important to me. The advantage of not being able to easily control attitude is it gives me drive to be a swordsman the rest of my life.

I hope this answers your question and isn't too lengthy.
-Danette

[Newbie]

This is going to sound like a horribley ignorant question but I mean it most genuinely: do you ever worry that you may have a psychotic episode whilst using an iato or bokken? Or has this ever happened and how was it dealt with?

[Red Oak Pony]

Your question is not ignorant and is rather thoughtful in my POV.

At first experiencing and trying to understanding my illness, I was very scared about having a psychotic episode while practicing. This was not and is not the case for the following reasons.

I am under medical care. With monitoring by qualified physicians, I am able to be treaded and lead a normal life. With this support system, you will not have a psychosis and be able to stem on off if one should start. A psychosis, like a heart attack, usually doesn't happen overnight and there are warning signs.

Next, a healthy bad-stress free life makes the monitoring and medications easier.

Last and most important. Your instructor should know your condition. To me a Dojo is a part of my support system and they can assist and determine if things aren't right. Like in my case, I shouldn't get push ups for correction but quiet meditation... etc.

I leave it up to the dojo's judgment to tell my condition to other students or not. I not sure, but I think this is a private thing and needs permission of the disabled person.

If I say I'm not feeling good, they will make accommodations similar to if you show up with a sprained ankle. If I'm in trouble, they will know and call paramedics because my condition is disclosed. If the dojo does not know symptoms of mental illness there is plenty of information on the NAMI website to offer assistance with this disability.

Today, I have no worries about psychosis. Even though a terrifying experience for everyone involved (family, friends, etc), I have the knowledge and the care now to prevent this form of 'brain attack' again. This in no means say I won't get symptoms.

Symptoms, I know about, and take great care of to nip them in the bud. If it means I have to take a three month hiatus from the dojo to change medications and improve my mental health. So be it. This part of the illness is similar to diabetes. And makes practicing difficult, but I'm in no rush for belts. I have a lifetime for belts.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about psychosis from a diagnosed patient who's under care. It happens to the undiagnosed and those that refuse care. Unfortunately, most people have little emergency/symptom knowledge for such a condition, and the attack can be extreme due to that. Most major illnesses are like that.

Thanks. A good question, and a lengthy response to answer.
Danette

[DarQik]

What is it that helps? The physical action of the arts in question or the mental discipline?My guess is the normal interaction with people. Since the dojo mindset negates gender, color, and other things that normally change the way we interact with people. It's a change to really be just another person. It can be really debilitating to have everyone always treat you a little funny or never to be able to blend in. Everyone, mentally ill or otherwise, needs something in life to hold on to and help form their identity and provide self-confidence.
do you ever worry that you may have a psychotic episode whilst using an iato or bokken?I'd be more worried about the manic days off the medication--no live blades please ;) (but I'm queasy at live blades anyway). Other than that, lets get to work. I don't have any objections to training with someone with a bipolar condition.

I've had to deal with a few bipolar people in life (family). I'm not an expert on the conditions. I've passed my psych classes in college, and I've been through the wringer a couple times personally and even dealt with some non-family at work. They're usually fine. When they're not, you can tell quickly enough, and rate the day accordingly. For the ones I know, it usually takes a pretty serious emotional event to push them off balance.

Realize the manic or self-aggrandizing persona is sometimes just a slight bit more crazed than the average male teenage self-realized samuari (they appear here regularly). So, when they talk it can be obvious they're having a manic day. In an extreme manic episode they feel like they are above normal things and do great feats (No, you can't fly, and we wont let you on the roof to prove it. Or for the non-bipolar 18 year olds, you're not musashi reincarnated, how about a round of jigeiko with the sensei to check). By the time they really hit psychotic they're seeing and hearing thing--it's way beyond normal, and you know they need help.

The only psychotic things I've seen came from an extreme manic swing with paranoia. The paranoia just ramped it up fast. They're up and super-powered and you are denying them. You want them to take medicine. Since medication stops their powers-it's wrong, it hurts them, and you're evil for wanting to hurt them, and you're got sensors hidden in the rooms to make sure of it, and you'll kill me if I don't, I must fight back to live.. For FREEDOM!!!!! At which point, the family calls for help... (that wasn't a fun day)

In the cases I've dealt with the brain is broken, and it simply loses touch with reality in order to protect the person from something they can't deal with. 99% of the time you'd never have a clue, and in those 1% you just figure the person is full of themself.


So, as an experienced observer, I don't see any difference between the mentally-ill and normal people. The ill are very much normal when they're doing well, and a repressed normal when on medication. Yeah, the side-effects stink, but it's way better than other option.

[DarQik]

Since you're done with Chikara, are you still involved in Iaido? Have you thought about trying kendo?

After the footwork days, it gets rather fast paced and physically demanding. Do find that physically demanding and exhausting things also drain you mentally and make things more difficult?

[Hai_hai]

There are different kinds of mental illness. Any illness that has violent behavior (against others or oneself) would not be a good match with iaito and maybe kendo. This would also include taking on a different personality that is known to be violent. Kendo is a very physically aggresive martial art. What I would consider to be violent is someone who attacks and hits their opponent in a manner as to purposely inflict harm. It would include hitting areas that do not have armor; executing improper waza like baseball bat swinging and following though; continued attacking while exercise is called to a halt during a practice; using fist, feet or other body parts to attack the opponent; pulling out iaito during kendo sparring; purposely hitting opponent with bokken during kata; and verbal outbursts that are not kiai like "I'm going to kill you".

[Red Oak Pony]

I am currently practicing Akitoho Iaido. I have a good re-pore with it.

I would like to try Kendo but only after my mental fitness is well enough to take learning two art's at once without it feeling stressful. (That knowing limitations thing.)

I would like to know the two because I am a kenjistu fan and I think that art is a combination of the two. Iado and Kendo combined will supplement this want. At least it helps.

As for Chikara, I'm being silly, but I'm not done with it. I'm pretty sure I'm not when I stick myself out to help out in their situation. When Chikara gets on it's feet, I'd like to attend there also if I can. I'm probably dreaming, but it only had a sour instructor and eventually took action on the matter. Chikara has helped many Minnesota students and instructors of other ryu's for Tameshiguri, Judo, Kendo, and Akido.

As for faced paced, I know what you mean. My experience is, if it's too fast my thoughts short circuit and I can't do a thing. Being comfortable in your environment and lots of practice at home helps a lot.

It took a while to be comfortable with my current Sensei. My symptom of freezing and cursing out of it was not being too hard on myself. Correcting with traditional push ups, a heavy fast activity, made it worse. It means I am overwhelmed, I need to meditate and slow down. The opposite of 'normal' people correction perhaps but it works.

Now, I can feel and stop the freeze on the fly and keep to my fast paced task without anxiety. I no longer need to break to meditate. It took me six months to achieve that feat and I'm proud of it.

Thanks for the comment and question,
Danette

Unfortunately this is my last post for the day, I am out of time. I will be available to answer more questions tomorrow. Till then, take care.

[pgsmith]

"I'm going to kill you".
Hey! That's my favorite kiai!

[crabbi]

Hi Danette

What is the nature of your illness, how severe is it and how long have you been suffering...? The reason that I ask is that the NAMI site covers a number of illnesses such as Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Schizophrenia and others.

Thanks for starting this very interesting thread...!

[pgsmith]

From her post starting this thread ...


Danette
Age 36
Location Twin Cities Metro Area
Time in swordsmanship: 3 years and counting
Training: Kenjitsu and Iaido
Age of psychosis: 33 years
Hospitalization psych ward stay: 14 days
Diagnosis: Bipolar disorder with psychotic tendancy

[Washington]

I've often thought that Kendo would be ideal for some of the PTSD folks.

One of the first things I noticed after going into bogu.. and one of the cool things I enjoy about Kendo.. is that it is the only time in civilian life that I have experienced in which you are in a confrontational situation with an armed opponent and the whole point is to RELAX. That's just way off in left field 180 degrees from the world outside the dojo.

It provides not only a forum in the dojo to experience those things again in a relatively safe and structured environment but also extends a system of thought and action to take with you outside the dojo that phyco drugs or discussion groups can't hope to match.

[crabbi]

From her post starting this thread ...
Oops... apologies for missing this...

Thanks for pointing it out PGSmith...!

[Commander]

I think mental illness in swordsmanship is a topic that is well earned and should be addressed in a forum such as this.

I am mentally ill, I am a sword student. To all sword students out there, I hope this thread is informative and supportive and builds confidence to our desire to train in the art.

I am willing to answer sincere questions about mental illness and it's relationship to swordsmanship. I find swordsmanship (and my doctors find swordsmanship) beneficial to help keep this disability under control. I practice and train because I love it. Just like the rest of us.

Feel free to make comments, experiences, and opinions, that's what a forum's for too. But my apologies, I will only respond to questions a couple of times a day until this thread's curiosity is answered. Answering questions is easier for me.

There has to be questions. Lots of them because the person you are training with may be mentally ill and be and look 'normal'. Then there are people who may be normal and act insane how do you tell the difference? 3% of the population is according to NAMI (US based National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). Odds are, you know one of us in your routine life.

Sincerely,
Danette
Age 36
Location Twin Cities Metro Area
Time in swordsmanship: 3 years and counting
Training: Kenjitsu and Iaido
Age of psychosis: 33 years
Hospitalization psych ward stay: 14 days
Diagnosis: Bipolar disorder with psychotic tendancy

Hi, can i ask is Bipolar a dangerous condition?

I know my boyfriends ex was bipolar and he has a helluva life with her.

Just curious :happy:

[Red Oak Pony]

It depends on the severity of the illness and how long untreated.

The number one danger is those that suffer untreated depression (one aspect of bipolar) is suicide. Bipolar kills but not in the media sensationalized way. Suicide kills people often because there's not enough awareness of dialing 911 regardless of stigma that the person is in control of themselves.

Next danger is psychosis due to mania. An unconscious mind takes complete control of the drivers seat one can be partially aware or not aware at all. It's again not so much in the media sensationalized way, but the outrageous behavior gets noticed and sometimes a person gets killed by authorities. (Like the recent slaying of a bipolar by US Air Marshals.) Or just by driving in the condition, etc.

It can get so far as catatonic (no unconscious or conscious mind at all) but that's rare nowadays with medical treatment. Again dialing 911 for an ambulance for outrageous literally insane psychotic behavior. An ambulance will come far before any laws are broken.

The real danger to psychosis is brain damage. I would cut off my left hand to get my memory and concentration back. Had the illness been caught earlier, even 24 hours, I would have not suffered so.

As far as dangerous to other people, only homicidal people are like that.

And wild rides. Again every person is different, and personality and support plays a large roll in it. Those who don't have a support system are very likely to relapse.

Thanks again for the question. I will be checking again tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Danette

[Red Oak Pony]

I'm back after I realized I chose the wrong wording 'brain damage' for the post effects of psychosis. The most correct word is senile. Case in point is my previous response.

All I know is that it's missteps such as this that lost my high tech advisory job I had for 12 years. I never had a detrimental problem with weird memory, concentration, and impulsiveness before my psychosis. I'm still miffed by that loss. I would have been able to keep some or all of my previous abilities had I been diagnosed and treated earlier. Some are just plain medication side effects.

I can't say enough credit swordsmanship has helped me. Enough to where I can feel I can step out on a forum and actually be a little of my 'old' self again. I owe a lot of credit to my current Sensei and the years of support from the patrons of the dojos I've attended.

- Danette

[yoda-waza]

Our dojo has one teenager who is receiving treatment for ADHD. While not a disorder on the scale of bi-polar psychosis, a severe lack of attention span coupled with hyper-activity can be debilitating nonetheless. Before practice begins this boy is sometimes a bundle of nervous energy, wandering eyes lingering nowhere for more than a couple seconds and speech punctuated with syllables rattled off faster than most of us can comprehend. It is remarkable how this person seems to focus while in practice, though. He has, in fact, become quite adept in coordinating his body and mind during exercises and seems to genuinely enjoy the practices, even those that are quite rigorous and require sustained effort - not an easy task for an ADHD sufferer. He seems to be calmer than he is otherwise. As he starts in bogu soon, we hope for his continued progress in practices. We're not sure whether to credit the effects of his medication or the kendo. Maybe the former allows the latter to help. Whichever it is, his enthusiasm is rewarding.

[nodachi]

ADHD is a very subjective problem. I agree that some people definitely have it, but others use the label as an easy way out of the "sit down, shut up, and focus on the task at hand" mentality.

ADHD is also a very selective ailment. What I mean is that I have seen students of mine who I agree are clearly ADHD and who have severe issues focusing in class, but put them in a different setting, like a shop class or club or sport team, and all signs of ADHD completely disappear. When an ADHD sufferer clearly has an interest in something they can almost magically regain all powers of focus and attention. It's when they aren't interested that the random problems arise. It is quite an interesting problem. Just because someone has ADHD doesn't mean they have no faculties of attention and calm. It's in there somewhere, but when they have or when they choose to use their focus or lose it is the interesting thing to study, in my opinion. I wouldn't worry about an ADHD person at all in kendo because they would either be totally committed or probably quit at a very early stage.

[Red Oak Pony]

I think the last two posts are great. This thread is about all aspects not just bipolar disorder. So keep them coming.

My only disappointment is I am finding is this post's replies and viewings are low (in my opinion). No one has even rated it. This thread's goal is to be a good resource. I think sincerely discussing roles and having them on record like this will help students, instructors, and dojo's out for a long time to come. (And prevent naive cruelty.)

I am however very elated by the forthright sincere candor that this thread received. I'll be reading from time to time. Please still post questions related to the subject. I'm sure others have information and experiences. Maybe DarQik can help? (If I'm not putting DarQik on the spot.) Any others?

Sincerely,
Danette

[Alison2805]

Hey there Red Oak Pony! Good on you for getting out there and grabbing life by the hojos!! One of my sisters has battled with bipolar for ages, including a couple of stints in psych hospital. Although she is doing really well these days, the idea of starting a sport where she was out of her comfort zone, with a bunch of people she didnt know, is way too much for her to handle. Let alone kendo where you have to run around yelling and generally feeling like a dufus for the first few weeks! Hell, I still feel like dufus half the time.

You sound like an inspirational person, particularly to start a thread where people can discuss your condition. I take my hat off to you!

Did you start at your dojo with friends for support, or did you jump in on your own? How did you find the first few practices?

[DarQik]

This is going to sound like a horribley ignorant question but I mean it most genuinely: do you ever worry that you may have a psychotic episode whilst using an iato or bokken? Or has this ever happened and how was it dealt with?Over the weekend this thread and the word psychotic came to mind a few times. When we hear the word psychotic, we (or at least I) automatically associate it with psychotic rage and violence. The techincal term really doesn't have any association with violence, but rather with the the person's mind losing touch with reality. For all intents and purposes when they've gone psychotic they're body is here but their mind is on two channels--90% wonka land, 10% reality (again symptoms vary by individual and case, but that's the average I came up with by conversation with a person during a pyschotic break).

Snippet from the National Institute of Mental Health (http://www.nimh.nih.gov/Publicat/bipolar.cfm): "Common psychotic symptoms are hallucinations (hearing, seeing, or otherwise sensing the presence of things not actually there) and delusions (false, strongly held beliefs not influenced by logical reasoning or explained by a person's usual cultural concepts). Psychotic symptoms in bipolar disorder tend to reflect the extreme mood state at the time. For example, delusions of grandiosity, such as believing one is the President or has special powers or wealth, may occur during mania; delusions of guilt or worthlessness, such as believing that one is ruined and penniless or has committed some terrible crime, may appear during depression."

The symptoms aren't much different from the crazed drunk lunatic or the high drug user, except they aren't drinking or using drugs. They can appear very calm and normal, but once they start talking (or some of physical ticks start up) you can tell they're just not right.

is Bipolar a dangerous condition?Mostly to themselves and the depressive swings can be more dangerous (suicide). I feel for the boyfriend. It's a tough ride especially with someone you care about. At the extreme you can't deal with them, they may have no hold on reality, and I mean seriously, who actually knows the procedure to have someone committed if they need it?

In the incredibly rare event that a person you're living with has completely lost touch with reality and you are trying to help them (medication, trip to the doctor, etc), they may believe you are trying to harm them, and try to protect themselves. That can get really odd--been there--been the meat shield between 2 relatives when it went downhill. Had we all not been completely calm and non-threatening even when the person got violent, it could have been bad. It's amazing that you can actually somehow get through all the insanity, and they'll let you help them. Inside they really want to be better and normal, but they just can't... It is my sincere wish that no one ever experience this!
My only disappointment is I am finding is this post's replies and viewings are low (in my opinion). No one has even rated it. This thread's goal is to be a good resource. I think sincerely discussing roles and having them on record like this will help students, instructors, and dojo's out for a long time to come. (And prevent naive cruelty.)

I am however very elated by the forthright sincere candor that this thread received. I'll be reading from time to time. Please still post questions related to the subject. I'm sure others have information and experiences. Maybe DarQik can help?Of course, it's not a hot topic. Mental illness is often stigmatic--if I don't know about it, it won't hurt me... But it's not been ignored or treated to disrespect or petty joking. I'm chiming in because I've had a up-close view of problem at the extreme end. I really feel for the afflicted, because they really can't do anything about it. Once the brain says "No more! I can't take it!" and snaps, they're out of control. They couldn't deal with whatever it was, and now they need someone else to step in, make them safe, and help them recover. Recovery is also quite painful as one's life can be pretty much burned down like a house. By the time a semblance of normal is returned everything can be gone--job, school, friends, savings, etc. It can be very hard to get going again. If you have friends and family to help you through, you are very fortunate!


I really don't see it as a big deal. Because most of the time they will seem like another lunatic kenshi-anime fan or someone who's drunk. Most of us have learned things to do (calm them, redirect them, etc) and not to do (dangerous sporting activities). Kendo can also be pretty harsh to the ego if one expects to be great, so repeat visits aren't likely since manics tend to protect that ego.

Recovering people typically are looking for a safe place and are wary of things that make them feel unsafe to save themself more problems. Combatative sports or martial arts aren't seen by many as a safe place. The extremes are rarely ever seen in public, unless they've escaped from home to the "second home". Family, friends, and roommates are usually on the front line struggling to survive and for them that means getting the person help, not getting them out to activities.

[D'Artagnan]

I have practiced with bokken sparing with full kendo armor.



>edit

nah,changed my mind, even i cant put what i was going to, haha :bandit:

>edit

[ScottUK]

C'mon Ginge, out with it... you're thinking what I'm thinking, aren't you...? :)

[Mr. T.]

My only disappointment is I am finding is this post's replies and viewings are low (in my opinion). No one has even rated it. This thread's goal is to be a good resource. I think sincerely discussing roles and having them on record like this will help students, instructors, and dojo's out for a long time to come. (And prevent naive cruelty.)

Danette

Hi Danette,

Although this tread is pretty informative it's a topic with a pretty big taboo, in the real world let alone in an environment where carrying a sword is normal. Most of my family think I'm nutcase (swinging swords around) and the fact that there are people with some serious mental illnesses with swords won't help either. So people choose to ignore it. That doesn't change the fact that you're right when you say that it's a good thing to discuss. So please continue... Although I've no experience with (serious) mentally ill people, it's always a good thing to be informed about. just because it isn't rated doesn't mean that the subject isn't appreciated. Most usefull treads don't get rated.

ps come on D'Artagnan... say it, I know you want to :D

[pgsmith]

My only disappointment is I am finding is this post's replies and viewings are low (in my opinion). No one has even rated it. This thread's goal is to be a good resource.

Although this tread is pretty informative it's a topic with a pretty big taboo, in the real world let alone in an environment where carrying a sword is normal. Most of my family think I'm nutcase (swinging swords around) and the fact that there are people with some serious mental illnesses with swords won't help either. So people choose to ignore it.
I think that the answer to both of these statements is the same. I don't think anyone is ignoring the topic because of societal taboo. I also don't think responses have been "disappointingly low".
You are simply discussing a topic which affects a very small percentage of the world's population. There are a great many people that simply aren't interested in it as it doesn't affect them. This doesn't mean that it isn't a good topic, or that it shouldn't be discussed. It merely means that most people have no real interest in it.
I think you'd run into the same lack of interest in a post about the problems of sword practice for those with diabetes. The percentage of the population is fairly close.

I have practiced with bokken sparing with full kendo armor.
I saw the example of Chikara dojo "sparring." I really don't think it qualifies as such. Of course, that's just my opinion.

[LarsCW]

Isn't bipolar a chemical imbalance in the brain which causes the highs and low as in good moods and manic depressive moods?

[Commander]

Isn't bipolar a chemical imbalance in the brain which causes the highs and low as in good moods and manic depressive moods?

I think that's more like either under active thyroid or overly active. I know an old friend of mine had that. One minute she was happy, the next she wanted to kill herself. She also looked very gastly as if she was actually dying.

[DarQik]

Isn't bipolar a chemical imbalance in the brain which causes the highs and low as in good moods and manic depressive moods?I remember that was the description given to us years ago. The NIMH pages now says, "Most scientists now agree that there is no single cause for bipolar disorder—rather, many factors act together to produce the illness."

Manic is the good or high mood swing, and depressive or low is the other. So the balancing act is Manic/Depressive. Most of the time, you'd never notice. It's a lot like normal mood swings, but when the condition flares up the endpoints for those moods can move well beyond normal.


Blood sugar issues are another odd topic. Also, good to know the symptoms and response for them. Those can be very dangerous.

[Mr. T.]

I think that the answer to both of these statements is the same. I don't think anyone is ignoring the topic because of societal taboo. I also don't think responses have been "disappointingly low".
You are simply discussing a topic which affects a very small percentage of the world's population. There are a great many people that simply aren't interested in it as it doesn't affect them. This doesn't mean that it isn't a good topic, or that it shouldn't be discussed. It merely means that most people have no real interest in it.
I think you'd run into the same lack of interest in a post about the problems of sword practice for those with diabetes. The percentage of the population is fairly close.


We’ve got about 580 members at the NKR (Dutch Kendo Renmei), let’s say there are about a 100 Katori Shinto Ryu practitioners (a lot , I know but I’m not aware of any Niten Ichi Ryu or Yagyu Shinkage Ryu groups, so I had to guess) that makes 680. That’s 21 sword art practitioner with a mental illness (3%) in the Netherlands alone. There are 41 ZNKR dojo, I’m aware of 6 KSR dojo, so that’s a total 47 dojo. That’s almost 1 person per 2 dojo (0,43 persons per dojo, to be precise). That makes it a big issue even though there are only 21 swordsmen (women) with a mental illness. But I could be wrong...

[pgsmith]

That’s almost 1 person per 2 dojo
And we probably average 1 person in every two dojo that actually comes on-line to this forum. So, that one person has a fifty/fifty chance of even being in a dojo with someone with a mental illness. Now you have to consider what the odds are of that one person, supposing that person is from the dojo with a mental illness, being interested in knowing more about the person's illness. Most people are not too interested if it doesn't impact them in a negative fashion. Pretty much like my reference earlier to diabetes. many people know someone that is diabetic. Most people aren't all that interested in learning more about their disease.

It is an interesting topic, and I'm definitely not trying to discourage conversation on the subject. I was just pointing out to Danette that she shouldn't expect an overwhelming amount of participation. I was also trying to point out to you that I truly didn't think it was due to any taboo. At least, it isn't here in the U.S. Heck, we have commercials on T.V. about it. :)

[Red Oak Pony]

The question about how did I start with a dojo:

A very good sane-mild-mannered-friend of mine was a student at the dojo. He thought the practice could help when I was going through my psychosis. I asked my docs about it. They said if I could tolerate it, it would help with focus and improve my health. One can't practice swordsmanship easily without being in the here and now. My personality and history suits it.

I soon made friends with other students at both dojo's. My first Sensei was biased and was under the table about comments he made. I still stayed there two years due to my friendships and avoided Sensei. I was new to a dojo experience and bipolar experience. It took me a while to learn about curriculum's, safety, and some sort of ranking for promotion in a dojo. (At least to explain why I was being excluded from certain activities.) Today, I would have left after the first sit-down talk by my former instructor.

The disappointment thing: If this thread at least helps one person, informs one person, or gives one person inspiration, I'll be satisfied. I needed to take a break from the forum after that last post. I was getting emotional.

As for swordsmanship being a bad choice: I'd recommend speaking with a physciatrist first. They know your limitations if you have this support group. If there isn't a physician support, I'd recommend getting one if you are as disabled as I. My case is one of the extreme bipolar. There are many functioning bipolars out there that are famous. Or continue on with full lives.

As for swords being a bad choice: Just a different view without the stigma of 'powerful' swords. I have a license to drive and do so regularly. I think one ton of steel on wheels is far more damage inflicting than a katana or bokken. How many times does one catch themselves daydreaming while driving? Would you do that in practice? If I'm having problems concentrating and driving, I ask for someone else to drive me. If I'm having a hard time concentrating on my practice, I sit out and meditate.

Now this blood sugar thing? I'm very interested in the study. This is the first I've heard of it outside experience. When my mind is becoming disoriented, I find a sugary drink seems to snap me out of it for a while. Is this what it's talking about?

Sincerely,
Danette

[D'Artagnan]

C'mon Ginge, out with it... you're thinking what I'm thinking, aren't you...? :)


Most probably! haha! :wink:

[DarQik]

Now this blood sugar thing? I'm very interested in the study. This is the first I've heard of it outside experience. When my mind is becoming disoriented, I find a sugary drink seems to snap me out of it for a while. Is this what it's talking about?Diabetes (http://www.diabetes.org/about-diabetes.jsp) is what I was referring to. I had a friend in college who was hypoglycemic (http://www.diabetes.org/type-1-diabetes/hypoglycemia.jsp) (low blood sugar). Basically, the sum of my knowledge was that when he started getting exceptionally irritable or looking pale it was time to remind him that he might need a candy bar--now. If he didn't notice it creaping up and nobody else did it could be rather bad--he would start to crash (shaking, dizzy, disoriented, etc).

If you're seriously noticing symptoms or suspect it--don't panic, but talk to your doctor about it.

[Red Oak Pony]

Darn about the sugar thing. I thought I was on to something. :happy: Plain old sugar rush. I'm not supposed to have caffeine, I miss it.

I'd like to state my current training and impact. I am in class rather 'normal'.

I have learned three iai kata and one five strike kumadachi with bokken both shidachi and odachi. This is within the last seven months with a three month hiatus. Numerous exercises on step and cut, types of strikes, and turning. Formalities with sword etc.

My belt testing is in June. (Scheduled twice a year.)

I was surprised that basics were actually covered in my previous albeit unconventional training. Learning the finesse and the huge ah ha's so-that's-why-it-should-be-done-this-way came in my current training.

The current iaido students are more advanced than me with moving fluidly. I am more advance than the students at my level with the cut. It all balances in the end. Black belt is about five years off for this school. I will have my first year in this Sept.

Danette

[crabbi]

My only disappointment is I am finding is this post's replies and viewings are low (in my opinion). No one has even rated it. This thread's goal is to be a good resource.

Hi Danette...

At time of writing, this thread has had over 750 views... that's in less than a week...

It's a topic that not many people have a lot of knowledge about and most of us would like to know more... but don't feel qualified to comment...

Thanks for starting the thread...

[Red Oak Pony]

Crabbi you are right, and I am sorry for the comment. I was getting emotional at the time. I didn't elaborate this on a previous post. I am happy if this thread helps a single person.

Truthfully, I started this thread because I was scared about confronting my illness with conflict that I have around me on the home front. I am very appreciative of this forums support in the matter. It has helped me conquer this fear and helped heal.

I am not however a good forum writer. Or knowledgeable as of yet to offer martial art advise or comment unless it is illness related. This is my last post so I can concentrate mentally on my training and belt testing coming up.

Thanks again, the forums upfront sincerity and candor is overwhelmingly appreciated.

Sincerely,
Danette

[borx]

I learned a lot from this thread. Thank you. And good luck in your training!