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Worst pickup lines.

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  • Worst pickup lines.

    What's the absolute worst/best pickup lines you have ever used?
    Or, failing that, what are some of the worst/best ones you can think of?

    Here's some of mine: (Uncrumples dusty age-worn notebook)
    Pledge: I swear to you that the following lines have seen actual combat action.
    They also shared one remarkable trait:
    NONE OF THEM HAVE EVER WORKED!!!
    Ahem!...

    1. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
    (If yes, move on to next female)
    (If no, in a very coy voice say
    "Do want one?"

    2. "If I kissed you, would you run away?
    (If yes, attempt the action.)
    (If no, shrug your shoulders and say: Meh! You don't know what you are missing, sister!")

    3. Walk up to the girl at the bar, and stare at her eyes, and say "You're Hot!" Then proceed to tie a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue. NOTE: It invariably helps if you actually practice this skill beforehand, and that most importantly, you can even DO THIS.

    4. Frisbee line.
    Toss a Frisbee at the object of your affection.
    Make sure it lands near her. Ensure you do NOT hit her, and never do this at a bar. Then walk over, and ask for it back. (Then do #1 and #3 mixed.)
    NOTE: Keep a trunk full of Frisbees as many chicks tend to not give the damn things back after you make your move.

    5. Walk around the Disco and ask chicks to dance.
    It's a numbers game. You'll get 99 rejections, but stay there long enough and as they get more and more schlotzed, you WILL eventually get luckeh! Heh. Which reminds me: Last call is like low tide, and all the leftover fishehs are a ripe for the wooin' heh. (So one would think.)

    Anyhow,
    As stated, no surprise that none of these EVER got a reaction, not even from drunk desperate chicks with no ride home, and a wooden leg, and an eye patch...

    So what's some of yours?
    Share the wealth!

  • #2
    Thank you Fresh Prince...

    Girl... you must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day.

    Comment


    • #3
      "Would you like to sit on my magic lap?"

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      • #4
        My personal favorite is:
        You go up to a girl, preferably one you have got absolutely no chance in hell with, and you say to her very matter-of-factly, "You're coming home with me tonight..." Pause for a moment but don't give her enough time to respond. With one hand start pointing at your head and with the other make a wanking motion, and then exclaim "IN HERE!"

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        • #5
          this lines actually WORKED to me, this kind of things are the things that u r suposed not to do, but to me it works fien, i dunno why...

          me: hi do you wanna dance?
          her: hmm nope, sorry.
          me: comme on! im not gonna bite you...hard. okok, may be a little bit hard but it wont hurt you ... too much...
          her: hmmm ok...


          me: hi, do u wanna dance?
          her: hmmm nope
          me: ok, u miss it
          her: what do YOU know about missing something??
          me: its difficoult to compare, but for sure i dont know about it as MUCH as you do!
          her: are u sure?... (kinky look)
          me: we'll see


          (this is the best one)
          me: hi, do you wanna dance?
          her: hmmmm (indecicive look) ahm im sorry but...
          me: (interrupting what ever she was gonna say) oh comme on! you already said yes! i notice by your smile
          her: yes but...
          me (taking her by the hand) great! so lets go!
          ..... while dancing...
          her: (after a very kinky nasty dance) usually i dont dannce with man
          me: ehm... why?
          her: I only dance with girls, coz i like girls (lesbian) not guys...
          me: and, why are u dancing with me?
          her: ehmmm ahh... hmmm... well, i dont know...
          me: THATS OK, IM NOT JEALOUS (!!!!!!)

          of course there was a lot of boring instant aceptance, and olso a lot of instant rejection... but thats boring to tell

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Dervish
            "Would you like to sit on my magic lap?"


            None have ever worked on me except the ol' faithful "Hi, can I buy you a drink?" If hes tall dark and handsome, hell YES!

            Girls do pick up techniques too - you may not have noticed. Girls are more subtle. When I would go out with all the blokes at uni (I was the only girl), I would throw my hands up in disgust at their complete ignorance of all the girls trying to hit on them, who would eventually give up and wander off.

            For example: in a crowded bar, if a girl is trying to squeeze past and she thinks you are cute, she may do the "breast brush" against your back or chest as she goes by, and smile at you. Only girls can get away with this.

            Comment


            • #7
              Kenzan, you were hitting on a pirate?

              My friend has used this a few times (he's charming so it works)

              Afte are bit of idle chit chat... "What's your favorite food?"
              "My favorite food is X"
              "What's your favorite day?"
              "My favoriteday is Y"
              "Then why don't we go get X on Y?"

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Alison2805


                None have ever worked on me except the ol' faithful "Hi, can I buy you a drink?" If hes tall dark and handsome, hell YES!

                Girls do pick up techniques too - you may not have noticed. Girls are more subtle. When I would go out with all the blokes at uni (I was the only girl), I would throw my hands up in disgust at their complete ignorance of all the girls trying to hit on them, who would eventually give up and wander off.

                For example: in a crowded bar, if a girl is trying to squeeze past and she thinks you are cute, she may do the "breast brush" against your back or chest as she goes by, and smile at you. Only girls can get away with this.
                oh thats new...

                oh damn! there goes oportunity last weekend... anyway its good to know

                Comment


                • #9
                  Alison, my dear, it's not that boys can't get away with it, it's just that their breasts have something less of an impact so it's hardly noticable.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The Breast Brush:
                    Reason #645 why despite a fairly pervasive world media campaign to the contrary, in reality, women actually DO control the world.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Newbie
                      Alison, my dear, it's not that boys can't get away with it, it's just that their breasts have something less of an impact so it's hardly noticable.
                      The couple of guys who have tried it on me arent trying to brush their chest against me, usually something else... needless to say all they got was a glare.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Kenzan
                        The Breast Brush:
                        Reason #645 why despite a fairly pervasive world media campaign to the contrary, in reality, women actually DO control the world.
                        yes. but to me intelligence could be defined by two ways:
                        1.- the ability to solve problems and to do it efficiently (could go from a to c without having to pass trough b)
                        2.- the ability to realize about his own reality and to be adptable to it (this not necesarilly mean to like it)


                        an intelligent man realizes that in this world girls rule, but its up to each one of us fn we are smart enough to adapt and take advantage of the situation or to be a victim of "nature selection"

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                        • #13
                          A buddy of mine actually used both of these, back before most of you were born:

                          Do you believe in sex on the first date? How about on the last?

                          Are you married? (if the answer was yes) Well, do you cheat?

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                          • #14
                            do you believe in love at first sight? or i have to pass in front of you again???

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                            • #15
                              nice pants, do u get in a 50% off sale? may b we can see if i can get it a 100% off...

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