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  • Originally posted by GothMelancolia View Post
    An American and a Romanian have a discussion
    The American says, proud:
    - We have B. Obama, Stevie Wonder, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash!
    The Romanian says
    - We have Traian Basescu, no wonder, no hope and no cash!


    No, I wont say who is Traian Basescu, so Sats doesnt have to bless again my cotton socks (one of the most funny English expressions I ever heard but I dont have a clue what it means )

    Although I dont understand why would he would to that to those skunks anyway


    Radio conversation in the Ocean

    This is a transcript of a real radio conversation between a ship of the US Navy and the Canadian Authorities in Newfoundland, October 1995 (actually a myth but that is how the story goes no offence intended guys)

    US: Please change your direction with 15 degrees in order to avoid impact.

    Canadian: We recommend that you change your direction with 15 degrees south to avoid impact.

    US: This is the captain of the US Navy ship. I repeat change your direction

    Canadian: No, repeat: you have to change your direction

    US: WE ARE THE CARRIER ABRAHAM LINCOLN, SECOND SHIP IN DIMENSIONS IN THE US NAVY IN THE ATLANTIC OCEAN. WITH US WE HAVE THREE DESTROYERS AND A NUMBER OF SUPPORT SHIPS.
    I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE WITH 15 DEGREES OR WE SHALL TAKE MEASURES IN ORDER TO GUARANTEE THE SECURITY OF THIS SHIP.

    Canadian:



    We are the lighthouse. You decide

    Hope this hasnt been posted before but the search function doesnt work
    Traian Basescu? I know who he is (and without having to Google it).

    "bless your little cotton socks" is an old English expression which means something like "aww, how sweet" - most usually said when someone does or says something which is over-helpful. It is not an insult or a put down usually -but it can be condescending. I wrote it to be nice (definitely NOT 'mean').

    Sorry, can't posrep you for the joke.

    Originally posted by cr720 View Post
    This is one I made up in 4th Grade (be kind, I was 10!!)

    What do you call a house full of criminals?


    The guilty party! laugh:
    The guilty party? surely that's New Labour

    Originally posted by pgsmith View Post
    Sats has a thing about feet.
    True, especially ones with "skunky" cotton socks on

    I wonder if I could persuade GothMel. to send me a pai.....

    Stop it Sats, stop it!!!!!!!

    Comment


    • Originally posted by satsumaruma View Post
      Sorry, can't posrep you for the joke.
      D
      Don’t worry it is the thought that counts :P
      Originally posted by satsumaruma View Post

      True, especially ones with "skunky" cotton socks on
      D
      hmmmm..
      Originally posted by satsumaruma View Post
      I wonder if I could persuade GothMel. to send me a pai.....

      D
      I can send you my old pair of kote. I promise it is more “skunky” then my cotton socks.

      Be warned even if I am a beginner this pair is not. It came from Japan about 5 year ago with a donation.

      But first... I have to buy a new pair.

      Comment


      • Time for a Scandi-joke:

        A Norwegian, a Swede and a Finn were prisoners of a giant. The giant got pretty fast tired of their bickering and decided to get rid of them. Problem was, he could not just let them go, he had his reputation to think of.

        So the giant told the guys that he had decided to let them go, but only if they completed succesfully a task that he was going to give them: "Go to the enchanted forest and gather what fruits or berries you may find!"

        Of they went and spent the morning in the forest. First one back was the Norskegossen; "Here are my berries, I found 3 blueberries!" He presented to the giant. "Very good" said the giant, "Now shove 'em up your arse!" The Norwegian was a little puzzled but did as the giant told him to do. When he was done, the giant let him go.
        Next one was the Finn; "Here are my berries, I found 5 strawberries!" He presented to the giant. "Very good" said the giant, "Now shove 'em up your arse!" The Finn was at first a little puzzled but did as the giant told him to do, but he started to laugh all of a sudden.
        Now it was giants turn to be puzzled; "WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT BERRIES UP YOUR ARSE!?!?!?!?!!" bellowed the giant.

        "Oh nothing..." panted the Finn "except that the Swede found watermelons!"

        Comment


        • The Old Perfesser poses the following problem to one of
          his classes:

          A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go
          to his daughter, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his
          brother, and the rest to his wife. Now, what does each get?

          After a very long silence in the classroom, one student raises his
          hand and says, A lawyer?

          Comment


          • I have just been told the following....and it is worrying me.

            Apparently, when Bird flu was about it was the Chinese Year of the Rooster,

            When Bovine flu was a big deal it was the Chinese Year of the Ox.

            Next year is the Chinese Year of the Cock!


            fankuveramuch

            Comment


            • Originally posted by satsumaruma View Post
              I have just been told the following....and it is worrying me.

              Apparently, when Bird flu was about it was the Chinese Year of the Rooster,

              When Bovine flu was a big deal it was the Chinese Year of the Ox.

              Next year is the Chinese Year of the Cock!


              fankuveramuch
              Booo...the Year of the Rooster and the Year of the Cock are the same thing That was terrible, even for you.

              Besides, we're currently in the year of the Ox, last year was the year of the Rat, and next year is the year of the Tiger.

              Comment


              • Nice try Sats
                But unless youre planning on getting face2face with a tiger next year I fail to see how you will get tiger flue

                Although I think that if this situation would occur getting the flue from the tiger would be the last thing on your mind

                Comment


                • ....Intrepid hero sits looking out of the single window in his one bedroom flat and tries manfully to stem the tears. The clouds hang heavy in the sky with the definite smell of imminent rain. There was whisky in the bottle but now it is in him. He heaves a huge sigh to sigh and wonders where it all went wrong.

                  Once he was a respected member of the community. Okay the KWF community is full of weirdos, sad-acts and losers but for Intrepid hero it was home from home; where he fit in.....


                  ....but that was then...............and this is now.....


                  Intrepid Hero wiped the tear from his stubbled face, chin wobbling as he realised......his jokes were no longer loved....



                  He stares down at the single bullet next to the H&K and prepares to write a note.........................









                  .

                  Comment


                  • The note done yet?

                    Comment


                    • He stares down at the single bullet next to the H&K and prepares to write a note.........................
                      Not to worry. From the way Scott describes your iai, you'll miss.

                      Comment


                      • Haha repreprep

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by pgsmith View Post
                          Not to worry. From the way Scott describes your iai, you'll miss.
                          as my left hand will testify...I never miss the opportunity to make a cut!!!


                          ( but your joke was worthy of Satsness)

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by satsumaruma View Post
                            I have just been told the following....and it is worrying me.

                            Apparently, when Bird flu was about it was the Chinese Year of the Rooster,

                            When Bovine flu was a big deal it was the Chinese Year of the Ox.

                            Next year is the Chinese Year of the Cock!


                            fankuveramuch
                            Hey! I resemble that remark. I was born in the year of the....Rooster

                            Originally posted by pgsmith View Post
                            Not to worry. From the way Scott describes your iai, you'll miss.
                            I can't rep you for that one, but I nearly spit up my soda from laughing at that post!

                            Comment


                            • Ohh poor, poor Sats, don't worry there's plenty of opportunities to make other jokes, (worse jokes)
                              I know how you can come clean: Tell us what you have on 1Cut and you can get away with it

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by satsumaruma View Post
                                ....Intrepid hero sits looking out of the single window in his one bedroom flat and tries manfully to stem the tears. The clouds hang heavy in the sky with the definite smell of imminent rain. There was whisky in the bottle but now it is in him. He heaves a huge sigh to sigh and wonders where it all went wrong.

                                Once he was a respected member of the community. Okay the KWF community is full of weirdos, sad-acts and losers but for Intrepid hero it was home from home; where he fit in.....


                                ....but that was then...............and this is now.....


                                Intrepid Hero wiped the tear from his stubbled face, chin wobbling as he realised......his jokes were no longer loved....



                                He stares down at the single bullet next to the H&K and prepares to write a note.........................









                                .
                                sod the note get on with it

                                Comment

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