Announcement

Announcement Module
Collapse
No announcement yet.

Overcoming the thoughts of quitting

Page Title Module
Move Remove Collapse
X
Conversation Detail Module
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Originally posted by Bokushingu View Post
    so that's it! i guess it's good to take a step back and look at the comical side of training...and let a few jokes out to get rid of the negative feelings, huh? After reading the last 5 to 6 post, i definately feel a lot less stress. Thanks for starting this thread & the great post from everybody.
    Thanks Boushingu for all of your inputs, I think you're probably the only person read through my post and understand what I'm trying to get at lol

    But all and all, thanks to this experience, I really learned to have fun... especially during Shiai. I used to be way too tense and beat myself up too much for this and that. But now I only beat myself up during Kihon practice for doing ugly Kendo... while still trying to have fun. I crack jokes during practice... what can I say, I'm a 200th Dan in sarcasm
    Last edited by Mugu; 9th November 2011, 08:38 AM.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by MikalMysha View Post
      I agree with your number three completely. With number one and two, I think that a supportive dojo can help you overcome the learning curve. I've found that at least for me, the Dojo and the people in it are the pivotal point and I think that's why I ended up walking away from Tae Kwon Do permanently after almost 7 years, the people in the dojo soured my experience so much that it ruined the sport for me.

      I know now that if/when I look for a new dojo, kendo or otherwise, the number one thing on my list is the people there, and after that everything else. (which is actually kinda funny because I'm very much an introvert)

      From number one comes all other problems, until the last straw when you lay down your shinai and walk away.
      I agree with MikaMysha here. The first (European) fencing club I joined, I was with for 15 years. But things at the club had deteriated to such a bad extend that I was on on the verge of quitting fencing altogether. I changed clubs and my love of fencing has been completely restored. And with that, the better enviroment has meant that for the first time in years I can see an improvement in my techniqe and results.
      Try a different dojo or even several. Maybe one of the sensei in a differet one can renew a love of kendo.

      As for the people in the dojo. Even my parents who show no interest in my kendo have commented how sociable my kendo dojo is. But not so relaxed that people don't improve.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Mugu View Post
        Thanks Boushingu for all of your inputs, I think you're probably the only person read through my post and understand what I'm trying to get at lol

        But all and all, thanks to this experience, I really learned to have fun... especially during Shiai. I used to be way too tense and beat myself up too much for this and that. But now I only beat myself up during Kihon practice for doing ugly Kendo... while still trying to have fun. I crack jokes during practice... what can I say, I'm a 200th Dan in sarcasm
        I almost never talk once the men is on.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by b8amack View Post
          I almost never talk once the men is on.
          Not full blown jokes, chuckles here and there

          And that got me one last thought: The most common yelling we get in my dojo is "relax!" - you can only do your best Kendo when you're relaxed and not over thinking. All I'm saying we have the luxury of not turning Kendo into a job, so don't. Nobody likes to work after work... unless you're a cop in Japan.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by b8amack View Post
            I almost never talk once the men is on.
            Not full blown jokes, chuckles here and there

            And that got me one last thought: The most common yelling we get in my dojo is "relax!" - you can only do your best Kendo when you're relaxed and not over thinking. All I'm saying we have the luxury of not turning Kendo into a job, so don't. Nobody likes to work after work... unless you're a cop in Japan.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by Mugu View Post
              Not full blown jokes, chuckles here and there
              We usually see this happen when we have a brain fart or both go for do simultaneously.



              I've been thinking a lot about the original points Mugu raised and, while a little late to the party, thought I might add my two, rather long winded and rambling, cents.

              1. The dojo atmosphere/environment can definitely have a profound impact on who leaves and who stays with it for the long haul, especially if someone is on the precipice.

              2. Hitting those big plateaus is definitely a downer but I've usually seen it happen right around passing or preparing for shodan. People level out at this point and can get very frustrated at not seeing much progress and get fed up completely. Loosely tied to that is the rare occasion someone thinks that they'll never reach an acceptable level of skill and become dissatisfied with everything. This to me is the completely wrong way of looking at kendo, or budo in general. Let's face it, there's always going to be something you need to improve on so all you can do is keep trying and accept that there are going to be times where your progress is going to be very small and sometimes it'll be quite big. In this regard, the first and second points have a symbiotic relationship where they both feed off of the other. If one is lacking then the other suffers for it.

              3. Personal issues come in all sorts of shades of grey and at times, they will require us to take a step back from kendo to take care of it. Mind you these periods are never permanent and when they pass, it's time to pick up your shinai again. That being said, there are certain things that may very well completely prevent you from returning, such as a permanent debilitating injury or relocation to somewhere that is several hours away from the nearest dojo. On a whole however, I feel personal issues are the easiest to lure you into using as excuses for not coming to practice and quitting outright purely because many do (and should) take priority over all else. If these things require you to take a break for a while, go for it as long as you intend to come back once it has passed.

              In my case, I'm lucky enough to have not ever entertained the idea of permanently quitting because of the great atmosphere at my dojo and a sensei who knows exactly how to inspire us to get back into the fight. That same inspiration helps us invigorate the beginners and motivate them to stay in it with us. It generates this unspoken mantra of, "come on, I want you to catch up to me so you can push me like I've pushed you!" The longer we stay with it, our mindset shifts from pure physical improvement to incorporate mental improvement (kakarite to motodachi if you will) and the cycle keeps repeating itself with more beginners joining us. I find this to be my motivation to stay with it no matter what comes my way and, as overly sentimental as it sounds, I hope each new beginner picks up on this as well.

              Comment


              • #37
                I was/am lucky - body sort of unlucky (ACL and Achilles like the Angels of Death just waiting for the next over-doing-it) - that fate seems to be keeping me on the Kendo road. Or who knows - as others who explain better have written, you miss it and get back to it. Recently restarted Karate due to a mini-hoodlum (MH) who keeps sending his cronies around my house who deposit little hints and stuff to let me know he - the MH - can get within striking distance anytime. When I had a freak accident (lost my balance and crashed onto a low fence, chest-first) last month and broke a rib, my new Karate Sensei suggested I take a rest AND also consider stopping Kendo. I was shocked - the Kendo spirit is always there, like breathing or sleeping, a natural part of my life, anyway. I really hope all works out for you.

                Comment


                • #38
                  What a great thread. I wrote about this topic recently in Kendo World, tied to testing. I have to go back and re-read some posts from this thread in greater depth but some thoughts if I may.

                  -Some people in some dojo do all the teaching and don't get enough time to concentrate on their own kendo. This should be addressed. Some ways to do that are to travel for harder practices or do separate advanced practices or workouts.

                  -Some people in some dojo can find themselves sort of socially frozen out by language or cultural barrier. The dojo I know try to include everyone but the barrier exists despite best efforts. It's very valuable to have a social circle around you that makes second dojo just as fun as first dojo. Some sensei I know from a predominantly Japanese dojo recognize this and try to ensure there are more non-Japanese in the club. In other words, you can go to the bar or restaurant with the Japanese guys often but still feel kinda lonely as they converse in a mixture of English and Japanese. It's important to be able to talk about kendo in your own language. You also end up talking about everything in your life and forming deep friendships.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    I think, I mean, we all should strive to improve, but we really enjoy it the most basic level of kendo first, to enjoy simply, what it is. We should all strive to improve, but we also need to enjoy the journey.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      With regard to the OP, here are some words that have helped keep me inspired to do Kendo;

                      "The difference is in your mind. It's attitude. You see, Martial art is always about live and die. It does not matter if you are going to die or not. If you look at a shinai and think "that's just a bamboo stick", you're doing a sport. No problem. But martial art is not only for dojo training. It's for life. Now it may be a bamboo stick, but tomorrow it could be a terminal disease, a close relative death, or you losing your job. Those are strikes that will cut you as hard as a blade. The martial art will provide the right attitute to face the problems."
                      - Chiba

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Hey guys, I know this thread maybe out of date but...

                        During the holidays, i got a lot of criticism on why im doing kendo, a lot of negative thoughts and comments by my friends and family...
                        I told them why i was doing it, but they thought of it as me being naive... like big time naive.
                        But i tried and i tried to let them get the point they got it, but they just put me down the negative side...
                        But as the new year got here i told them im going to continue my kendo, but my friends are now encouraging to go to airsofting as an extreme sport.
                        I looked into videos and even tried out a game at Xtreme-Tactics in winnipeg, really fun with friends.
                        Im having thoughts of not buying bogu and just getting gear for airsoft, but im looking for a job to pay for the two, while school is here im having a rough schedule. But my confidence in me doing these things is really high, but i could get careless at the same time...

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by sarge127 View Post
                          Hey guys, I know this thread maybe out of date but...

                          During the holidays, i got a lot of criticism on why im doing kendo, a lot of negative thoughts and comments by my friends and family...
                          I told them why i was doing it, but they thought of it as me being naive... like big time naive.
                          But i tried and i tried to let them get the point they got it, but they just put me down the negative side...
                          But as the new year got here i told them im going to continue my kendo, but my friends are now encouraging to go to airsofting as an extreme sport.
                          I looked into videos and even tried out a game at Xtreme-Tactics in winnipeg, really fun with friends.
                          Im having thoughts of not buying bogu and just getting gear for airsoft, but im looking for a job to pay for the two, while school is here im having a rough schedule. But my confidence in me doing these things is really high, but i could get careless at the same time...
                          Well, I like to play paintball on occasion, and I own an airsoft gun too, but none of that has anything to do with my decision to do kendo. It sounds like you just played airsoft recently, why would one have to replace the other? Are your friends upset that you spend some hours each week enjoying an activity without them?
                          I understand that you may not want to spend the cash on buying all of your gear for both activities right now, but do you have to? I own some of my own paintball gear and just use the stuff available at the field for the rest; I can't imagine an airsoft field where you must bring all your own gear. Does your kendo club/dojo have available bogu for your use?

                          It sounds like you genuinely enjoy doing kendo and want to continue. I think it would be very unfortunate if you quit while feeling forced out of it.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            I think looking at both kendo and airsofting as 'en extreme sport' is probably where you went wrong.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              My suggestion is, DON'T let those who only knows a little, having a major role in your decision. Talk and ask about kendo to your sensei, talk and ask about airsofting to your friend, then ask yourself whether you want to do any or both. I personally think that Kendo is offering a lot more than just a sweating and fun activity such as airsofting, but airsofting is still fun and could give you some benefits.
                              Gain informations from those who really knows, then talk to yourself whether you want it or not. That's what I will do if I were you. \
                              Just a suggestion..

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                I was just talking to my wife the other night about this topic, sans the "airsoft" part, and made the point that when I was first starting I felt like my particular sensei and dojo was instrumental in keeping me interested and going -- I had thought it took a very particular place to make a person want to stick with Kendo. But that recently I'd started thinking that it actually takes a very particular person to want to stick with Kendo and the place is secondary.

                                I don't know sarge but I know his time in life and when I was that age I flitted from one hobby to another almost before I'd even started it. If I'd started Kendo then I suspect I would have quit within a couple months. Now it's almost like an addiction; even though there's tough things about it (which for me are work/family balance and repeated injuries) I can't imagine not doing Kendo and go through withdrawal if I miss a week.

                                My point is to not worry these issues so much. Either you'll feel a pull to stick with it or you won't. You're not a bad person is you don't want to stick with Kendo. You can do a different activity. But if your only problem is buddies and relatives giving you grief, I'd tell you what I told my son when he started Kendo with me:

                                You need to commit to it long enough to know what it really is, but once you've done that, continue because you enjoy it for yourself. Not to impress me. You need to figure out what you like doing for you.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X