Training with a shinken

**ShinKenshi** · 26th July 2005, 01:12 AM

Originally Posted by The great I AM

A JIGSAW?! But those things are flat and come in, like, a 1000 pieces! My dad had one of the River Thames that had 5000 pieces, it took him more than 3 months to finish it! Then the dog jumped on it and he went spare! He was bright red!

Anyway, how the bleeding hell does a jigsaw help you make swords?! Is it a jigsaw of a sword? Do you have to finish the jigsaw before you can start making the sword? And what does this have to do with ham?

I'm not talking about the puzzle. I'm talking about the actual saw. The machine I'm talking about is much like a piston. There are still some swordsmiths that do the whole thing by hand and hammer it manually but those take a whole month to produce.

**The great I AM** · 26th July 2005, 01:20 AM

Originally Posted by ShinKenshi

I'm not talking about the puzzle. I'm talking about the actual saw. The machine I'm talking about is much like a piston. There are still some swordsmiths that do the whole thing by hand and hammer it manually but those take a whole month to produce.

What? By hand? Bollocks. I don't believe it for a second. They come on big metal sprues and are punched off by massive machines, just like your jigsaw, now that makes sense. Talking of jigsaws, my dad is currently doing a big one of a london bus, and he saws that our dog isn't allowed in the same room.

Who the hell would use a hammer?! Maybe in substitue for your ham-cum-sword, but not to whack my sword with, that'd be foolish, you'd have big round hammer marks in it, and make it dirtier than smothering the mother in clay. So apart from dipping your sword in mud and then beating seven bells out of it with garden equipment, what other abuse are you inflicting on your weapon?

At least I take care of mine and wipe it down with vegetable oil (I find Grenola is the best) after every garden-chair-slaying session. It makes the blade glow yellow in the sunlight!

Anyway, I'm off home. Post another smart Alec reply to this, and then I can tell you how things work in the real world, and not the using-jigsaws-and-clay-to-make-a-ham-shinken world.

Radio Gibbo Signing off. For now. I'll be back.

**ShinKenshi** · 26th July 2005, 01:25 AM

Fine then. I'm not trying to be a smartass and I never was from the start. I know that my information is correct and if you ever really look up how a shinken is made in Japan, you will find that I am right. So with that, go and check this information yourself. Go read some books on how a real Japanese shinken is made. Learn the Japanese names for all the parts of a shinken. Once you do, let me know if you still feel I'm wrong.

**Paikea** · 26th July 2005, 02:03 AM

Originally Posted by ShinKenshi

Fine then. I'm not trying to be a smartass and I never was from the start. I know that my information is correct and if you ever really look up how a shinken is made in Japan, you will find that I am right. So with that, go and check this information yourself. Go read some books on how a real Japanese shinken is made. Learn the Japanese names for all the parts of a shinken. Once you do, let me know if you still feel I'm wrong.

You really had no idea you were being played the whole time by people who actually do know what they're about, did you? Thanks for the belly laugh this morning...

**pgsmith** · 26th July 2005, 02:10 AM

I'm a newbie, and not even a kendoka. I was surfing through here as I was bored at work and waiting on a phone call. I just had to say that that was brilliant! I'm sitting in a cubicle making snorking noises like I'm coughing up a hairball since it's not considered good work ethic to belly laugh out loud!

Thanks very much y'all, it's much appreciated!

**Kaoru** · 26th July 2005, 02:11 AM

Originally Posted by ShinKenshi

Fine then. I'm not trying to be a smartass and I never was from the start. I know that my information is correct and if you ever really look up how a shinken is made in Japan, you will find that I am right. So with that, go and check this information yourself. Go read some books on how a real Japanese shinken is made. Learn the Japanese names for all the parts of a shinken. Once you do, let me know if you still feel I'm wrong.

ShinKenshi-san,

Do you realise you've been completely had?? These guys are joking! I should know... I'm the one usually to tell people off for using a dangerous sword and the like. That's my job!

So, stop being me please!

Trust me, if I say it's a joke, then it really is.

I'd have let him have it by now, if he wasn't kidding, trust me. Ask anyone here...

About the sword smithing... If I was you, I'd stop talking about that right now. I happen to know something about that too, and what you say makes absolutely no sense. Sorry... Besides, if you keep this up, you are REALLY gonna dig a hole for yourself so deep you won't be able to climb out of it.

Anyway, this thread is soooo funny! I'm sorry ShinKenshi-san. I can't help it!!

Kaoru

**Kaoru** · 26th July 2005, 02:14 AM

Originally Posted by pgsmith

I'm a newbie, and not even a kendoka. I was surfing through here as I was bored at work and waiting on a phone call. I just had to say that that was brilliant! I'm sitting in a cubicle making snorking noises like I'm coughing up a hairball since it's not considered good work ethic to belly laugh out loud!

Thanks very much y'all, it's much appreciated!

Welcome Mr. Smith! Glad to see you!

Kaoru

**pgsmith** · 26th July 2005, 02:18 AM

Hi Kaoru!
Paul please!
I ended up over here following a thread about your buddies at Chikara!

Never been here before so I've been kinda wandering around when I have some time. There's some good stuff hidden away in the corners around here!

**ShinKenshi** · 26th July 2005, 02:41 AM

Ok, so I've been had. I tend to not pick up on this stuff for a while. Guess I'll just shut up and not post in the forum for a while.

**Lloromannic** · 26th July 2005, 02:43 AM

Originally Posted by Kaoru

ShinKenshi-san,

Do you realise you've been completely had?? These guys are joking! I should know... I'm the one usually to tell people off for using a dangerous sword and the like. That's my job!

So, stop being me please!

Trust me, if I say it's a joke, then it really is.

I'd have let him have it by now, if he wasn't kidding, trust me. Ask anyone here...

About the sword smithing... If I was you, I'd stop talking about that right now. I happen to know something about that too, and what you say makes absolutely no sense. Sorry... Besides, if you keep this up, you are REALLY gonna dig a hole for yourself so deep you won't be able to climb out of it.

Anyway, this thread is soooo funny! I'm sorry ShinKenshi-san. I can't help it!!

Kaoru

TELLTALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**ShinKenshi** · 26th July 2005, 02:55 AM

Originally Posted by Lloromannic

TELLTALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So glad I was able to provide everyone with a good laugh. Thanks for making me look like a total dumbass and thanks for making me feel like a total ****ing idiot. Really, I applaud all of you. Yeah, I should have pickd up on it sooner but still, all of you deserve a round of applause for being pro's at embarrassing the hell out of someone. Thanks again for making it such that I can't show my face on this forum again for a long time with out reminding people of what a dumb shit I am. Thank you very ****ing much.

**Anjin-san** · 26th July 2005, 02:58 AM

Gibbo may have been joking, but I'm dead serious, I still maintain that ShinKenshi doesn't know doodly squat about swords. If we followed his advice we'd be more likely to end up with some kind of mutant farm animal, like in The Fly.

You should really get your sources right. I was trying to have a serious conversation about practicing a long lost form of Kendo, whereas all you can do is question us rather than add constructively to the conversation. Sure our practice may seem a bit unorthodox to you, I'm not surprised at that. If any of you walked into your dojo for practice as usual and saw a dude dressed as a power ranger slamming a piece of ham into a garden chair, you'd be a little concerned.

But thats just the way we do things ok? Don't prejudge us just because we're different to you. I don't claim to know the first thing about eating babies, so don't assume you know anything useful about swords.

**Paikea** · 26th July 2005, 03:11 AM

Originally Posted by ShinKenshi

So glad I was able to provide everyone with a good laugh. Thanks for making me look like a total dumbass and thanks for making me feel like a total ****ing idiot. Really, I applaud all of you. Yeah, I should have pickd up on it sooner but still, all of you deserve a round of applause for being pro's at embarrassing the hell out of someone. Thanks again for making it such that I can't show my face on this forum again for a long time with out reminding people of what a dumb shit I am. Thank you very ****ing much.

Post #51 - I tried to warn you, but the train kept a-rollin...sorry your feelings got hurt, but you did it to yourself. Suck it up and carry on, it won't kill you. Tell you what, come visit Portland (when you're 21) and I'll buy you a beer and we can laugh about your most embarrassing moment.

Now, here's an idea...since you're over 18, add your real name to the profile and post as if everyone will know who you are for all time. Makes you think twice before hitting that submit button.

**piggy** · 26th July 2005, 03:55 AM

Originally Posted by Anjin-san

Gibbo may have been joking, but I'm dead serious, I still maintain that ShinKenshi doesn't know doodly squat about swords. If we followed his advice we'd be more likely to end up with some kind of mutant farm animal, like in The Fly.

You should really get your sources right. I was trying to have a serious conversation about practicing a long lost form of Kendo, whereas all you can do is question us rather than add constructively to the conversation. Sure our practice may seem a bit unorthodox to you, I'm not surprised at that. If any of you walked into your dojo for practice as usual and saw a dude dressed as a power ranger slamming a piece of ham into a garden chair, you'd be a little concerned.

But thats just the way we do things ok? Don't prejudge us just because we're different to you. I don't claim to know the first thing about eating babies, so don't assume you know anything useful about swords.

i just got in trouble for laughing so loud at this. this thread is so funny! i used to use the ham model but then with an extra 100$ i managed to buy the chicken drumstick upgrade. no garden chair or baby will be safe!

The great i am, your posts were genius!